


Give and Take

by Stark_Black



Category: Naruto
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, M/M, Mentions of non-con, Multi, Multiple Partners, Neji is alive, Open Relationships, Polyamory, Threesome, but don't worry, but i guess it's mostly canon, i tried to keep it balanced, kind of, oh it's also an AU because of Sasuke stuff, so it's kind of an AU?, there's also a lot of plot, there's also a lot of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-08
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-01-24 01:04:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 113,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1585982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stark_Black/pseuds/Stark_Black
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Genma made a mistake, a tragic mistake that may have cost him everything. He can't hide it from Kakashi though, and now the Copy Ninja is being torn apart by his honor, and by his feelings for one of his oldest friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is one I’ve been writing for a while, you can tell because the writing is drastically different from the first chapter to the last. It started with a character study on 'fuck buddies' and a plot spawned from the research. The concept of the fuck buddy has always kind of fascinated me, so I wanted to get my hands dirty. This also is pretty much just an excuse to ship one of my favorite parings, and shamelessly put up chapters and chapters of sex involving Genma. 
> 
> Update 5-8-14: I had a little confusion with a few specific things like shinobi ranks and character heights and ages when I first started this, but I have gone back and I think I fixed most of them? I’m sort of an adjective whore as well, especially in these first few chapters. I’m trying to fix that, I swear. If you see any mistakes or titles or whatever that are glaring, don’t hesitate to let me know. Also, a lot of this was beta’d by my good friend LiralenLi, and wynteruniverse on Tumblr did a read through for me, so thank you both for that. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Genma closed the door carefully behind him and stared into the shadowy space of his apartment. No light filtered in through the window, as the sun had not yet begun to rise, and he made no move to turn on the lights. His trained eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness, but he saw nothing of the walls or the furniture in front of him. His lungs expanded, giving him air, and his heartbeat, pumping blood through his veins, but he felt nothing. He was numb, suffering from a strange kind of shock. After the events of this night, the special jounin did not know how to think; he didn’t ever want to feel again.

He moved slowly through the small foyer and down the hallway, passing framed pictures of friends and colleagues, students and teachers, past lovers, and heroes long gone. He felt their eyes on him, their knowing looks, and disapproving stares. They knew what he had done and were disappointed in him--who wouldn’t be? 

He kicked off his sandals, stripped out of his t-shirt and jeans, and slipped into the bathroom. The hot water from the shower nozzle felt good on his fingers and even better on his back and shoulders as he stepped under the spray. Genma sighed heavily and reached for the bar soap. He ran his palms over his face and scrubbed at his chest and stomach. He lathered up his hands and placed the soap back on the rack before he washed between his thighs and over his wilted sex. He turned the temperature up and stood with his back to the nozzle. The water started to scald his flesh, but he didn’t move; he needed this. He needed to feel as if he had at least tried to sanitize himself after what he had done. Cleanse his body of every trace of his mistake.

He barely toweled off before he padded naked into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. He didn’t want it; but he had been drinking last night, and he knew he was dehydrated even if he didn’t feel thirsty. As the cool water rushed past his lips and over his tongue, he tried to muster up some remorse for last night, a little sadness, anger, _something_. His total detachment from the situation, and the absolute void of feeling was disturbing. Was this how he was going to deal with it? Was he broken for good? Was he going to live out the rest of his life as a zombie? 

A tapping on his window jarred him from his bleak thoughts. He turned and saw a Hokage messenger bird pecking at the glass; a tiny scroll attached to its leg.

The tokujō sighed softly and set the bottle on the counter.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me…”

* * *

The hallway outside the Hokage’s office was buzzing with activity. It looked like every available special jounin in the village had been summoned. Several people waved to Genma as he made his way up the stairs and found a spot where he could hold up the wall. Ebisu stood a few feet to his right, and nodded to Genma in acknowledgement.

Genma nodded back, but quickly turned his gaze to the floor. He crossed his arms tightly over his chest and rolled his senbon over his tongue. Blending into the wall wasn’t really an option, but Genma knew he had a spectacular scowl. Pretty much everyone knew that bothering the orally-fixated jounin this early in the morning when he plastered that look on his face, took either a colossal amount of courage or an unbelievable amount of stupidity.

 _He’s gonna be here…_ Genma thought to himself. _They’ve summoned all of us. He’s gonna be here and I’m going to lose it. If I see him, I’m going to break down in front of everyone…_

“I didn’t think you drank that much last night.” Aoba’s bored voice interrupted Genma’s thoughts. The slightly taller nin teased the end of his senbon with his tongue and chuckled without any humor. He should have known Aoba would talk to him, even with the scowl. His friend wasn’t stupid or particularly brave; Aoba just didn't give a shit. 

Genma turned and saw that the dark-haired man had scooted up next to him and now regarded him with interest. Well, at least, Genma _thought_ he was looking at him with interest. It was hard to tell with the ever-present sunglasses.

“What makes you say that?” Genma asked softly.

Aoba pulled sunflower seeds from his pocket and tossed them into his mouth. “You look like shit.”

Genma made a face. “Oh, thanks. I keep forgetting why we’re friends, and then you go and say pretty things like that.”

“I’m serious, dude,” Aoba pushed off the wall and shoved both hands into his pockets. “Did you get any sleep at all last night? And where the fuck did you run off to? Iruka had a conniption ‘cause you were buying the next round.”

Genma looked away, trying not to think about what had happened last night.

“I didn’t go do anything,” he said. “I felt sick, so I left.”

He felt Aoba’s eyes on him for a few more seconds before his friend gave up and started popping seeds into his mouth again.

“Okay, but you’re with me on this rotation and I’m not gonna go easy on this mission just cause you have a hangover.”

Genma growled. “I don’t have a hangover! And what do you mean I’m with you on this rotation? I was with Yuki last time, so now I should be with… um…”

“Me.”

Genma folded his arms across his chest. “Oh yeah… okay, you’re right.”

“Didn’t know you hated partnering up with me that much.”

“I don’t hate partnering with you, asshole.” Genma pushed off the wall and scrubbed at his eyes. “I’ll be fine with whatever, just as long as our team leader isn’t Gai again.”

Aoba’s shoulders slumped and he groaned loudly. “God, don’t remind me. I had nightmares about spandex and spring time and fuckin’ ‘youthful frolics through the forest’ for weeks after that.”

Genma smiled and pulled the senbon from his lips. He reached out his hand, palm up, in a silent request for Aoba to share his seeds. His dark-haired friend complied and the two stood in silence, chewing their salty treats, waiting for the Hokage’s doors to open.

Ten minutes turned into twenty, and Aoba started to whine. Twenty turned into thirty, and Genma’s mind started to wander. He was getting more and more nervous, watching the top of the stairs, waiting for the one person he did not want to see. His teeth clicked on the metal in his mouth, knowing that at any moment, he was going to walk in. Genma’s heart started to thump a little harder in his chest.

“Dude, you are seriously scaring me.” 

Genma startled as Aoba’s quiet voice breathed across his ear. The lighter-haired tokubetsu turned to glare at his friend.

“And you’re starting to annoy me,” Genma growled. “Let it the fuck alone.”

“Normally I would,” Aoba whispered quietly, leaning in, “but if I’m gonna go on a mission with you all bat-shit crazy, staring off into space, daydreaming about whatever random-ass weird shit you daydream about, I’m gonna break both your legs so I can have different partner.”

“Shit, I love it when you talk dirty to me.” Genma grinned.

“Kiss my ass.” Aoba popped another seed into his mouth to hide his smile.

“Who’s kissing whose ass?” A bored voice sounded from behind Genma.

Genma glanced over his shoulder to see Shikamaru, standing with his hands in his pockets, a cocked eyebrow, and his quirky half-smile pulling at his lips. As he gave the lanky ninja a quick once over—a habit he knew he needed to break; he did it every time Shikamaru came around—Genma marveled at how the young man had grown up to be the spitting image of his father. Minus one or two scars. 

“Why?” Genma’s grin widened to show his teeth. “You want in?”

“Absolutely not.” Shikamaru laced his fingers behind his head and yawned. “It’s too fucking early. I got a superb hangover from those crazy blue things Iruka-sensei was making us drink last night, and I’ve already had enough trouble this morning with this asshole.” He nodded his head to the side and Genma turned around fully to see who the tall ninja was talking about.

When he saw who stood behind him, Genma’s world suddenly froze. His heart leapt up into his throat, and he wished he could disappear.

_Oh, shit. Fuck. Goddamnit._

Raidou stood next to Shikamaru, his hands buried deep in his pockets, and his gaze staring a hole in the floor at Genma’s feet. There were dark smudges underneath his eyes, and his usually healthy, bronzed skin looked ashen.

Genma wanted to flee. He wanted to teleport back to his apartment, bury himself under his covers, and stay that way until he wasted away into nothing.

“Wow, Rai.” Aoba whistled at Genma’s side. “You look worse than Genma. What the fuck did you two do last night? You both left so early! You guys hit up another bar?”

Genma flinched and forced himself not to back away, to not break down, or throw himself at his scarred friend and beg for his forgiveness. He felt heat creeping up into his cheeks, and he used every tactical trick he knew to calm his chakra and soothe his racing heart. He glanced at Shikamaru, and almost winced when he found the younger man studying him. The genius no doubt had already sensed his distress, but Genma was determined to push it aside anyway. Keep it hidden until the mission was over. There was no way this thing would be resolved quickly, so the best thing to do, was to get passed it for now. Deal with it when he came home.

“I just went home,” Raidou said quietly. “Had a headache.”

“Raidou was complaining of his comatose hangover all the way here,” Shikamaru muttered, his eyes never leaving Genma. “I’m sure I’ll get to hear about it all through the mission too.”

“Not if you have Gai as your team leader,” Aoba piped up.

“Shut it, you jinx.” Shikamaru’s eyes narrowed and he made a face in Aoba’s direction. “I’m gonna take Genma’s senbon and shove it up your ass.”

Aoba laughed as the two nins continued to bicker between each other.

Forgotten, and wallowing in his shame and self-loathing, Genma returned his gaze to Raidou. The older man was looking at him with tired eyes. The redness that Genma saw there threatened to break the younger man’s heart. He prayed that Raidou’s wan color was from the drinking last night, and not because he had been…

Genma looked away and stared at the floor. He was disgusted with himself. He was filthy, a dirty rotten scrap of a man, and he wished he could go back and replay the last night over. 

The two stood there, surrounded by their friends and colleagues. They were covered by a blanket of comfortable and easy chatter, but were nevertheless trapped in the most uncomfortable silence of their lives. Genma was just about to open his mouth to try and apologize to his friend, but Raidou beat him to it.

“Are you okay?” The scarred man asked quietly. “I didn’t… hurt you… did I?”

Genma’s head shot up, not believing what he had just heard. Raidou met his eyes with a warm concern, and the muscles in his jaw clenched over and over. Raidou always ground his teeth when he was nervous. Genma couldn’t think straight when the taller man looked at him like that. Even after everything that had happened, everything that Genma had done to Raidou, the scarred man was worried about his best friend. His best friend that had betrayed him.

God damn everything, he still loved Raidou so much…

 _I’m shit…_ Genma thought, _I’m lower than shit…_

“I…” Genma started, but then the doors to the Hokage’s office opened, and Umino Iruka emerged, followed by the majority of Konoha’s elite jounin. He stood with his hands on his hips, looking haggard and stressed.

“Tokubetsu,” he said, his teacher's voice ringing clearly through the hall, “I’ve called you here because Konoha needs every able body for a mass mission. It’s relatively simple: we need information and we need it quickly. There have been over fifty cases of girls between the ages of sixteen and twenty disappearing in the last month and a half. We don’t have a lot of time. We need to move quickly to prevent more disappearances, but saving as many of the girls already taken is also a top priority. 

“Three squads are being sent to each surrounding country, and two are being assigned here to help the chuunin safeguard the village.” He turned to a small blonde girl holding a large scroll in her hands, and nodded to her. “Yoko-kun, my assistant, will assign you your squad leaders, and they in turn will explain your specific missions.” 

He turned back to the gathered tokubetsu and smiled ruefully. “I categorized this as A-rank because even though it’s not high risk, it is priority, and it’s going to be difficult to coordinate. Be safe, and tread carefully.” He turned and moved back into the Hokage’s office. “They’re all yours, Yoko-kun,” he said over his shoulder.

Yoko stepped forward and started to read from the scroll. As names were called, ninja started to pop from the area to meet up with their assigned team leader and plan their departure.

“Yamano Yuuko and Fukawa Shuji,” Yoko called out.

“You’re with Gai… You’re with Gai…” Aoba muttered under his breath beside Genma, and the long-haired nin heard Shikamaru mutter a curse under his breath as well.

“Your team leader is Senju Ando.”

“Damn.” Aoba shoved a few more sunflower seeds into his mouth.

Genma felt Raidou’s chakra signature before the older man touched him. As the scarred jounin’s hand brushed his arm, Genma flinched and twisted to the side. He looked up and almost whimpered at the hurt look he saw on his friend’s face.

“Namiashi Raidou and Nara Shikamaru.”

“You’re with Gai… You’re with Gai…” Aoba kept repeating under his breath.

“Fuck you, I’ll kill you,” Shikamaru mumbled in retaliation.

“You’re assigned to Hyuuga Neji.”

“Aww!” Aoba whined and made a face at Shikamaru. 

The Nara, on the other hand, grinned and stretched lazily. “Cool.”

Genma felt Raidou’s hand on his arm again, and this time he didn’t pull away. The older man’s breath was warm against the flesh of his ear and it sent tremors down Genma's spine.

“Genma, I’m so sorry for what I said to you last night…” Raidou’s voice was so filled with hurt that Genma had to tap into his chakra again to keep himself under control. 

The dirty-blond turned to face his friend and almost choked on his words. “We don’t have time for this right now, Raidou…”

“Shiranui Genma and Yamashiro Aoba,” Yoko called.

“Ah, not Gai… _not_ with Gai…” Aoba chanted.

“With Gai… with Gai…” Shikamaru chanted around a grin.

“You are assigned to Hatake Kakashi.”

Shikamaru cursed under his breath.

“Awesome,” Aoba grinned. “Suck on that bitches.”

Genma barely heard his assignment or Aoba’s celebratory banter with Shikamaru as he pulled out of Raidou’s grip. “Please don’t do this now,” he whispered close to Raidou’s damaged cheek. “We can talk after the mission.”

“I just don’t want you leaving thinking that I hate you,” Raidou whispered back.

Genma’s eyes stared somewhere over the older man’s shoulder.

“Don’t you though?” 

Raidou’s body went still, and Genma felt he could die right there. He looked at the floor again and slowly backed away from his friend. He got about three steps before his back hit a solid chest, and strong, gloved hands gripped his arms, steadying him.

“Woa, Genma,” a smooth voice drawled. “Are you still drunk? You left the bar almost five hours ago.”

Genma recognized the voice and growled low in his throat. He was not in the mood to be teased. He turned around and came face to face with the one and only, Hatake Kakashi. The bastard’s one visible eye was crinkled, giving away the fact that he was grinning underneath his mask.

“Why does everyone think I’m this crazy party whore!” Genma hissed. “I had two drinks last night! I am not in the mood for your shit, Kakashi! Let’s just decide where to meet so we can get the hell out of here!”

Something flickered in that one visible grey eye, something that seemed a mixture of surprise and sadness, but then it was gone almost as fast as it came. Kakashi’s playful slouch disappeared and he put up his hand in surrender.

“Sorry,” he said quietly. “South gate in fifteen. Bring civvies, and your wet weather gear.”

A poof of smoke and leaves, and Kakashi was gone. Genma stood staring at the place where his friend had been standing, feeling like he had just kicked an injured puppy. He turned back to Raidou, desperate to get out of the Hokage tower and back to his apartment before he lost it completely.

“When we get back,” Genma said to Raidou.

The scarred jounin nodded slowly and wiped at his eyes. “Okay… be safe, Genma. Tread carefully.”

“Tread carefully, Raidou,” Genma returned.

Raidou made the hand signals for a teleportation jutsu and poofed away. Genma ran his hands over his face and turned to see Aoba eyeing him suspiciously.

“What?” Genma asked.

“You better tell me what the hell is wrong with you on this mission,” Aoba muttered. “I can’t believe you just talked that way to Kakashi-san.”

Genma felt a pang in his chest. Aoba was right, he had been cruel to Kakashi and he hadn’t meant to. The Copy Ninja did not deserve to have Genma take his frustrations out on him like that. He should apologize as soon as possible.

“I’ll see you in fifteen,” he said.

“Ten,” Aoba corrected.

“Whatever.”

* * *

Dark clouds rolled across the sky as Genma reached the South Gate with five minutes to spare. Kotetsu and Izumo waved to him as they slouched in their seats in the guard box. Genma grinned and waved back. It was such an unfortunate thing to still be put on gate guard even after being promoted to jounin. But then again, knowing Kotetsu and Izumo, they probably had asked for it.

The tokubetsu leaned against the large wooden beams supporting the gate arch and pulled his senbon from his lips. He replaced it with a cigarette from his flack vest and searched for a lighter. He found none in his pockets and cursed under his breath.

“Hey, Zumo!” he called. “Got a light?”

“Negative,” Izumo called back in a bored tone. “Kotetsu fucked with it and now the flint’s out.”

Genma sighed and leaned his head back against the beam. He’d remembered his chap stick, jerky, and his soldier pills, which he _always_ forgot, but he hadn’t thought to pack a lighter? Oh well, his mood could only get so bad, and he was already pretty deep in it. What was nicotine withdrawal on top of a little old-fashioned heart ache and self-pity?

The quick appearance of a chakra signature beside him, and a snap of fingers brought forth a little light. Genma turned to see Kakashi holding a small ball of flame in his palm. The special jounin didn’t need to ask and he leaned forward to light the tip of his stick. 

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

“No problem,” Kakashi murmured back.

“You’re a little early aren’t you?” Genma asked, pulling smoke back into his lungs. “Didn’t expect you for another twenty or thirty minutes.”

Kakashi shrugged. “Didn’t want to sit around my apartment.”

“Ah.”

Genma breathed in and exhaled slowly, his body tingling with the effects of his first cigarette of the day. He didn’t really smoke that much, just when he was out drinking or when he was particularly stressed. He could make a pack last him a couple weeks if he tried.

He studied Kakashi as the younger man let him enjoy his smoke. The Copy Nin’s eye looked sad and tired as he watched the sun rising over the Hokage monument. Genma felt bad all over again for how he had treated Kakashi before, so he stepped closer and spoke quietly to keep the gate guards from overhearing him.

“I’m sorry for how I acted earlier, Kakashi. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

Kakashi’s head tilted to the side and his single eye rolled to look directly at him. 

“It’s fine, I noticed something was wrong, but I teased you anyway. My fault.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Genma said defensively.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

Genma smirked and scratched his stubbly chin. Shit, he’d forgotten to shave.

“That’s Kakashi speak for ‘I’m gonna coax it out of you later’, isn’t it?”

Kakashi’s eye crinkled and he pulled a scroll from one of his weapons pouches. “Yes.”

Genma shook his head and chuckled softly, “Whatever.”

As the long-haired ninja turned again to watch the sunrise, Aoba landed softly beside him and wiped crumbs from his chin.

“Okay, so where to?”

Kakashi tossed him the scroll. “It’s all there if you want to read it, but basically we’re just going to some small city between here and Suna. There’s a dealer there that’s possibly a farmer.”

“Farmer?” Aoba asked as he skimmed the scroll.

“Slang for a dude that runs drug mules,” Genma stated.

“Eewww,” Aoba made a face. “Is that what they think is happening to the girls?” 

The Copy Nin rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah. And this guy’s supposedly a stubborn one, so that’s why we have Genma.”

“Oh, yay, torture,” Aoba said with no enthusiasm and looked up from his reading. “So how about me?”

Kakashi rolled his shoulders and started walking through the gate. He shoved his hands in his pockets and kicked merrily at a rock.

“Cause you have a good sexy no jutsu.”

Aoba nodded. “Roger. When do we- woa, wait a minute! Sexy no jutsu!?!”

Genma heard Kakashi snicker underneath his mask, and the long-haired nin had trouble covering his own laugh. 

Kakashi crouched, readying himself for a leap into the trees.

“Let’s move out.”

* * *

“Seriously guys,” Aoba whined as he adjusted his shoulder straps for the tenth time. “Why am I doing this again? Wouldn’t Ino or some other jounin with _real_ boobs have been a better candidate?”

“Shut up, man,” Genma shoved a piece of sushi in his mouth. “Youh hook grea’h.” He adjusted the volume on a tiny earpiece and handed it to his friend. Aoba took it and fitted it into his ear.

Genma sat in the living room of the safe house in a quiet corner of the town. The small apartment was bought and paid for by Konoha under an anonymous name and used by ninja traveling through on their way to Suna. 

“Great, huh?” Aoba asked as he stood.

Actually, Aoba really did look good. The female version of himself was a little shorter, with a slim but fit body, small, perky breasts, and lightly tanned skin. ‘Her’ eyes were big and brown, almost devistating with the little bit of eye shadow and mascara Genma had applied. Aoba’s long dark hair hung in ringlets from a high pony tail, secured by a long black ribbon. Kakashi had given Aoba an outfit that could probably have fit in a contact lens case. The short skirt was a green, brown and black plaid and the shirt was black and strapless with small tears up the sides. The jounin had rounded out the ensemble with thigh-high fishnets and over the knee leather boots.

Genma looked at him for a few seconds before answering. 

“Well, I’d fuck you, but it’s probably just because I know you’re really a dude.”

“Okay,” Aoba pointed a finger at him, “be nice to the straight guy.”

Genma grinned at his friend. “But I am! I just paid you a compliment. You know you really should stop cheating yourself out of what you really want.”

“Pu-lease,” Aoba pulled at the fishnets, snapping them into place. “Hey, you ever been with a girl? I actually can’t remember if you ever told me that or not.”

Genma nodded. “Yeah, at first. But then I did both for a while, and then I decided I just liked the low maintenance of guys.”

Aoba nodded. “Yeah, that I can understand… Shit, how the fuck do chicks do this?” He bent one knee at a time, watching the top of the fishnets carefully. “These things keep slipping down and I’m gonna trip over these goddamn heels. Girls are amazing.”

“I think they kind of suit you,” came a voice from behind Genma.

The special jounin turned in his seat to see Kakashi had returned from his recon and was leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. He had replaced his uniform with slim jeans, a dark blue button-up shirt, and a leather jacket. He had left his under-armor on because it attached to his mask, but his forehead protector was gone. In its place was a black eye patch. Genma liked it when Kakashi was sans forehead protector. His hair was less crazy and lopsided (not that he didn’t like the crazy) and it hung down nicely over his eyes—or eye as it was, kind of sexy-like.

Genma whistled. “Now, that’s what I’m talking about. Damn, Kakashi, you clean up real good.”

Kakashi’s eye crinkled and he chuckled in reply. “I talked to the bartender and got a good layout of the place. It’s pretty straightforward, and they have a security system so I didn’t bother with cameras.”

“Meh,” Genma said, “cameras are a crutch anyway.”

“Oh, yeah,” Aoba muttered. “Why would we want stuff that makes the mission easier? That’s stupid.” 

“Quit your bitching.” Genma held the tray up to Kakashi, “Sushi?” 

“Thank you.”

Genma turned away, knowing Kakashi wouldn’t eat if he was looking at him, and chuckled at Aoba who was still fiddling with his stockings.

“You could have brought some garters or something,” Aoba mumbled under his breath.

Kakashi snorted and sat on the couch across from Genma and swallowed his bite of sushi before answering.

“I have some leather ones, but I think they’d be too big for you.”

“Big?” Aoba looked at him with his eyebrow cocked.

“Yeah.” Kakashi stretched and folded his hands behind his head. “I know a teacher with killer thighs.”

Genma turned to face Kakashi fully. “Are you serious? Iruka sensei’s into that?”

Kakashi looked at him, his eye crinkle getting deeper. “Don’t you know?”

“No, I don’t.” Genma sat forward, interested. “I heard he’s kind of wild.”

Kakashi shrugged, “Sometimes.”

“Oh my _God_.” Aoba groaned from across the room. “I’m never going to be able to look Iruka-kun in the eye ever again. You guys are fucking terrible, especially you, Kakashi-san.” He pointed a finger at Kakashi, “Aren’t you like, supposed to be a role model or some shit?”

“I thought I was role modeling just fine,” Kakashi chuckled. “Besides, Iruka is proud of the way he is and his sexuality. He’s not ashamed of it and neither am I.”

“Even if the majority of the village doesn’t believe it,” Genma added.

Kakashi nodded, chuckling again, “Yeah, even if almost no one believes it.”

Aoba pointedly ignored them, and left off pulling at the stockings. He stood straight and held up his hands.

“I give up, this is gonna have to do. If they keep falling, I’ll just take them off.”

Genma opened the laptop on the coffee table and started tapping away at the keys. A few moments later he had a screen open showing all seven of the building’s security feeds. 

“Secure network, ha.”

“Good?” Kakashi asked.

“Yeah, we’re set to go whenever you want. You want Aoba to go first?”

“Yes.” Kakashi nodded and turned to their friend. “I’ll follow in about a half hour.”

Aoba sighed and stretched his arms over his head. “Okay, just don’t start jerking each other off and forget about me.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” Kakashi ran a hand through his hair. “It wouldn’t take us half an hour to jerk each other off.”

“Yeah,” Genma added, "Kakashi’s got those gloves, and I’d get tired after a few minutes and start using my mouth—”

“OKAY!” Aoba turned and headed for the door. “I know I walked right into that one, but give me a break!” The door opened and slammed behind the special jounin after he stepped out.

Genma snickered as he finished off the last of his sushi, and grinned across the coffee table at his team leader.

“I wouldn’t keep doing it if he didn’t react like that,” the Copy Nin sighed. 

Shrugging, Genma set the sushi plate on the table, “He doesn’t mean half of what he says anyway.” 

Kakashi snickered. “He’s even more fun than Sasuke.”

“Yeah, but Uchiha’s actually gay, isn’t he?”

Kakashi nodded. “He’s with Naruto.”

Genma nodded. “I thought so. Everybody knows, why’s he still in the closet?”

“There is no closet, that’s just the way he is,” Kakashi stated, and Genma heard the affection in his words.

“I hear the adoption finally went through.”

Kakashi nodded as he sat up. The jounin rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed, and Genma was charmed by Kakashi’s obvious happiness at his new charge. Most would say that Kakashi was the farthest from a father figure one could get, but if they could see the way he looked when he talked about Sasuke, they would think differently.

“I know he’s too old for it to really matter anymore,” the Copy Nin murmured, “but I want him to have everything. Of mine, I mean. I could just put him in my will, which I have, but helps with paperwork and all that if you’re actually related.”

Genma smiled. “You’re a great person to do that for him, Kakashi. There’s still people out there in Konoha that want him dead.”

Kakashi shrugged. “All the more reason to make sure he’s taken care of should something happen.”

“But it’s not really just the money and estate though, is it?” Genma asked.

Kakashi shook his head. “No. It’s also to let him know I really do trust him, and think of him as family.”

Genma nodded slowly, touched by his friend’s generosity and caring. 

As Genma watched his friend relax and think about more pleasant things back home, it hit the tokujō that Kakashi was acting strange. It had taken a shift in his attitude to really see it, but as soon as the older man saw Kakashi happy, it was obvious that a few seconds before, the silver-haired nin had been preoccupied with something that troubled him.

 _I’m slipping,_ Genma thought to himself. _I’ve been thinking too hard about not thinking of Raidou that I didn’t notice something was wrong with Kakashi._

“Everything okay besides?” Genma asked directly; he knew it was best when talking with Kakashi. “You seem kinda down.”

Kakashi chuckled again, “Says the guy who was practically crying outside the mission room this morning.”

Genma froze, “I was not.”

The younger jounin held up his hands. “Okay, you weren’t.”

Sitting back, Genma sighed heavily, knowing he was being childish. Kakashi stared at him, calmly but expectantly, waiting for Genma’s inevitable caving. There was going to be no getting around talking with the Copy Nin about his problem, but now was not the time. He needed to do it over a drink, and not in the middle of a mission he was a key part of.

“Later, okay?” he asked in a low voice. “I’m not ready to talk about it yet. After the mission.”

Kakashi sat forward and plucked the second ear piece from the table. “That’s fair. I’ll buy you a drink or something.” 

Genma watched his friend’s long fingers press the piece into his ear. His movements were sure and precise like any ninja, but Kakashi’s characteristic gracefulness was missing. It was rare to see the elite ninja looking so unsure, and it troubled Genma. 

“Kakashi,” Genma started. “You’ve got a few minutes before you gotta go.”

Kakashi looked at him through his lashes. He sighed softly and rested his elbows on his knees. 

“I think Ibiki kicked me out…”

Genma sat up. “What?”

Kakashi looked at his hands. “I told him I wanted to stop seeing people on the side, move in officially…” The Copy Nin chuckled without humor. “He didn’t really like the idea…”

“Did he actually say it was over?” Genma asked.

Kakashi shook his head. “He didn’t say anything.”

“He could have just been a little shocked. Copy Ninja Kakashi isn’t really known for his exclusiveness.”

Kakashi laughed, his head tilting back as his one visible eye looking up at the ceiling. 

“No… no I’m not. I just thought since we’d been together for three years… I don’t know.”

Genma dropped his arm and slid his own hands into his pockets. “I’m really sorry…”

Kakashi looked at him and his eye crinkled. “We can buy each other a drink then when we get back.”

Genma nodded. “It’s a date. Now get out of here before I make you give me a hand job.”

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, Genma was drying his hands on a small hand towel as the door opened. The special jounin didn’t look up because Aoba’s chakra signature had given himself away a few minutes ago.

“Nice job,” Genma called over his shoulder. “You’re an awesome slut.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Aoba’s chuckle was cut short with by a hiss of pain. “Can you get me a dressing? This thing fucking hurts. His bodyguard—the one with the Mohawk? He’s a missing nin, isn’t he?”

“Well,” Genma snickered, “not anymore.” 

Genma pulled a med pack from his bag and turned to exit the bathroom. When he saw his team mate standing in the kitchen, back in his male form, but still wearing the skirt, tank, and high heels, he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Oh, damn, Aoba,” Genma breathed. “You look a hell of a lot better now than when you left.”

“Yeah, you know what?” Aoba was glaring, but his eyes were filled with mirth. “I’ll kill you. Just give me the dressing and get me my uniform.”

“Fine,” Genma sighed, “such a waste.”

He tossed the med pack to Aoba and turned to get the younger man’s clothes out of the bedroom. When Genma returned with Aoba’s pants and under shirt, the living room’s side window opened, and a large body came over the sill and landed with a loud thud on the floor. A slender, masked figure slid gracefully inside after, and Genma shook his head.

“You even managed to conceal _his_ chakra signature. How the hell do you do that, Kakashi?”

Kakashi stood with his familiar slouch and shrugged as he put his hands in his pockets. His eye crinkled from a hidden smile, and he tilted his head to the side in feigned embarrassment. 

Genma shook his head and pulled his fingers through his hair, securing his dark blond locks in a tight bun at the base of his skull. Blood on the skin and clothes was one thing, but blood in the hair was something that Genma always tried to avoid.

“You got smelling salts?” the tokujō asked.

Kakashi nodded and bent to lift their prisoner and set him in the chair Genma had prepared. It sat in the middle of the living room’s open space, atop a large piece of rolled-out plastic. The jounin tied the man’s arms and wrists together, and then duct-taped the prisoner’s calves to the chair legs. Genma watched him the entire time, still enchanted by the younger man’s smooth movements. Even while doing something like this, and slightly distracted on top of it, Kakashi was one of the most graceful figures he’d ever seen.

“I should just wait and let him wake up on his own,” Genma muttered. “His headache would be worse.”

Kakashi looked his way and chuckled softly. 

“Well, I could whack him on the back of the head a couple times before I bring him out of it. He’d feel that.”

Genma snickered in reply and shook his head. “I’d love to see that,” he pulled a chair from the table and set it directly in front of their captive, “but it’ll be easier to get the information out of him if he doesn’t have brain damage.”

As Genma made himself comfortable, Aoba retrieved his long-sleeved shirt and sandals and headed for the door.

“You guys have fun,” he said. “Last time I stayed around to watch Genma do his thing, I couldn’t eat for like a month.”

Genma waved to him and turned to his team leader. Kakashi pulled a field med pack from his flack vest and dug smelling salts from the small, mesh pouch. He ripped it open and held it under the prisoner’s nose.

“ _Gyah!_ ” The man’s eyes opened, and he started to struggle even before he had taken a look around. 

Genma didn’t move. He sat nonchalantly, waiting for the man to notice him. When he did, the prisoner’s eyes widened, and they flicked to Kakashi momentarily before turning back to Genma, and then back to Kakashi.

Kakashi held up a hand. “Hi.”

“What the fuck do you want with me, shinobi?” the man growled. Sweat ran from his temple, getting caught in the several days' worth of stubble covering his jaw.

Genma smiled and lifted his leg to rest his ankle on his opposite knee. He leaned to the side, placing his chin in his hand, and tapped the tip of his senbon on the wooden armrest. 

“I want to know where the fifty-three girls that have disappeared over the last two months have gone.”

The man snorted and spit onto the plastic. “You’re asking the wrong person.”

Kakashi’s fist connected with the prisoner’s face. To Genma, the punch was nothing, merely a warm up for what was to come, but the man taped to the chair before him groaned in pain and threw his head back as blood gushed from both his nostrils.

Genma lifted his hand, nimbly rolling the sharp piece of metal over the tops of his fingers. There were several ways to go about an interrogation, and Genma had been taught all of them thoroughly. The tokujō had always found it more effective to do less, just let the prisoner sit and stew over what _could_ happen to them. Unfortunately, there was not enough time for something like that. Psychological torture took days and sometimes weeks to be effective. The classic to the point method was what was going to be the surest route this time, and that was fine. Genma liked the to the point method. Ask the question, if they don't answer right away, hurt them. Ask the question again, if they don’t give in, hurt them some more.

It was old fashioned, but hey, why reinvent the wheel? 

“Seriously, sir,” Kakashi said sweetly. “You’re gonna want to start telling my friend here stories about smuggling girls packed with drugs over country lines before he gets bored.”

The prisoner snickered, turning his face to wipe the blood from his upper lip on his sleeve. He met Kakashi’s eyes and sneered, showing a straight line of blood stained teeth.

“Go to hell,” he growled.

“Oh dear,” Kakashi sighed.

“Fuck you.”

Genma then stood, ready to begin what was probably going to be a relatively short session. He flipped the senbon through his fingers and opened a pouch at his side that held nine more of his deadly weapons.

“Kakashi,” Genma said, his voice flat. “Hold his fingers.”

* * *

Genma sat staring at the sunset when Kakashi came to talk to him. The team had completed the mission, extracted the information, and gotten out of the town almost six hours ahead of schedule. Now they were back in Konoha territory, but still a day from home. Aoba had suggested a short camp, as the three of them hadn’t slept in over forty-eight hours, and Genma always turned in better mission reports when he wasn’t running on fumes.

Genma had offered to take the first watch, but Kakashi hadn’t even pretended to get ready for sleep. The moment Aoba’s snoring had started, the Copy Nin had moved up behind Genma and straddled the log the tokujō was sitting on. Facing him, the masked ninja folded his hands together between his legs and stared at the older man.

“You know,” Genma muttered, “it’s really creepy when you do that.”

Kakashi nodded. “I know, that’s why I do it. But I also know it’s the fasted way to get my teammates to talk to me.”

“What are we talking about?”

Kakashi tilted his head to the side. “Are you going to clean up?”

Genma looked down at his uniform. Blood splatter covered his flack vest, and the browning mess caked his hands and arms. He was sure his hair was crusty as well, but he hadn’t had the nerve to check yet.

“It’ll come out. I’ll wash when we get home.”

Kakashi was silent for a moment, but scooted closer before he spoke. “Do we really have to wait until we get home to talk about what’s fucked you up so bad?”

Genma felt pressure at the backs of his eyes. His restraint was slipping fast after the session with the prisoner. He desperately wanted to go home and report and get back to the safety of his apartment before he broke down, and if Kakashi was going to keep talking to him in that caring and gentle voice, he was going to snap.

“Please, not now, Kakashi,” Genma’s voice trembled. “I can’t do it now. The mission is over, let’s get the info back and finish reports before I open myself to that.” He felt Kakashi’s hand on his shoulder and he took a deep breath. “Thank you… thank you for caring. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’re worried about me… But if I let it out now…”

“Okay…” Kakashi squeezed and rubbed the tense muscles in Genma’s shoulder. “I won’t press you now. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

“Okay, I’m not sorry.”

Genma chuckled and slapped at his cheeks. “Okay, I think… would it be all right if I slept?”

Kakashi nodded. “I’ll take the first watch.”

Genma smiled at him, his heart beating heavily at the tender look the younger man was giving him.

“Thank you.”

Kakashi shrugged. “It’s fine… Don’t forget I’m here if you need me.”

Genma nodded, but was startled out of his appreciation of Kakashi’s kind look by Aoba’s annoyed groan.

“God, you guys are so fucking _gay_ …”

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Kakashi stood in the Hokage’s office, leaning against the window frame and gazing outside at the gray, drizzling sky. As Iruka read over his team’s report, the Copy Ninja listened with half an ear. Whenever the Hokage’s assistant asked a question, the silver-haired ninja’s ears perked up because Genma was the one answering. Genma could be describing in detail a gruesome torture session, explaining tactical maneuvers for a three-man ambush, or just reading off instructions for baking a cake, and Kakashi’s stomach would tighten into gentle knots of arousal. The tokujō’s smooth baritone was one of his best features; it slid over Kakashi’s skin, and immediately down his pants. The man probably had the most fantastical bedroom voice in the entire universe…

Haha… fantastical… was that even a word?

The Copy Ninja sighed softly, and milked his reputation for not taking the follow-through for missions seriously. That rumor was mostly true, but it actually had nothing to do with Kakashi’s complete lack of focus at that moment. Not even cute Iruka, ex-sensei, lover of all things leather, and father- er… brother… or something to his adopted son’s boyfriend could get him out of his funk.

Kakashi quickly pictured Iruka in a thong…

Nope, nothing.

A maid’s outfit…

Nothing again.

Genma and Iruka together in maid’s outfits…

Okay, that did a little something, but it still wasn’t enough to pull himself up from the deep emotional cesspool he had fallen into. He had tried his best to keep his mind off the fight he’d had with Ibiki the day before they had left, concentrate on the mission like a good little ninja, and be as badass as he could be. But the fear of what he was going to find when he returned, sat in his gut like a huge, greasy cheeseburger with extra bacon and mayonnaise… 

Mmmm, mayonnaise… 

“This is just what we needed,” Iruka was saying. “I can relay this information to team three. They were sent to Hidden Rain where this ring’s headquarters is supposedly located.”

“Are you going to send some backup?” Genma asked. “I mean, I’m not implying that Tenzō and all them aren’t capable or anything, I’m just saying…”

Kakashi saw the eyebrow lift without even looking.

“Are you gunning to get back out there, Genma?”

“No,” the tokujō muttered, “I was just… wondering.”

Kakashi tore his eyes away from the window to look over at his friend. Genma had done a superb job of _not_ hiding that there was something the matter. He was obviously trying so hard to forget it, that the trying to forget was stressing him out even more. It was so very like Genma. The guy always tackled his problems on his own, never made a big fuss about anything, and kept his personal shit to himself. He confided in his friends, yes, but usually it was after Genma had already solved ninety percent of the problem. The Copy Ninja liked this about his friend, but at the same time, it pissed him off. On one hand, he had a friend that never bitched to him about anything, but on the other, he always had trouble figuring out what Genma was thinking.

Kakashi really hated not knowing what people were thinking.

“Hey, Ruka,” Aoba piped up. “Where the hell is the Hokage?”

Iruka rolled his eyes and jerked a thumb at the double doors along the side wall.

“He skipped out on a council meeting to go get ramen with Kiba-kun. I locked him in there and told him he can’t come out until he files the entire stack of last week’s injury reports."

Aoba and Genma made identical pained sounds as Kakashi chuckled under his breath.

“Hokage of Fire Country reduced to office clerk.”

“Damn straight,” Iruka growled. “That boy still acts like he’s twelve sometimes. He’s long past due on the whole growing up and maturing thing. He’s almost twenty for crying out loud!”

Genma laughed and stood slowly, rolling his shoulders and stretching out his back. Kakashi imagined lean muscles flexing and pulling underneath that bloody uniform and quickly looked away, back outside at the rain. Rain was good.

“You got everything you need, Iruka?” Genma groaned. “I could really use a shower and some sleep.”

Iruka waved them off. “Yeah, get out of here. You smell like crap.”

Kakashi was about to pull his hands from his pockets and make the seals for teleportation, when Iruka stopped him.

“Stay for a minute, Kakashi.”

He had never been able to refuse anything Iruka had asked him, so Kakashi stood there like a good puppy as Aoba and Genma left the office. Genma stopped in the doorway and waved to him before he left, but in seconds the large room was silent except for the quiet ‘tick tick’ of the clock over the entryway.

“What’s up with you, Kakashi?” Iruka asked when they were alone. “Are you okay?”

Kakashi turned one of his brilliant but fake smiles on the ex-teacher and shrugged his shoulders in the way he knew Iruka liked.

“I’m tired, and like you said, I smell like crap. Especially my pants.”

“Those are my pants, by the way.”

Kakashi looked down, surprised.

“No shit? How can you tell?”

Iruka pointed. “Because I stitched my name into the pocket on the left side, I can see it from here. I mean really, what kind of elite ninja are you?”

Kakashi pulled at the pocket and, sure enough, ‘Umino I.’ was stitched in dark blue thread on the inside. The Copy Ninja rubbed the back of his head embarrassed, and smiled sheepishly through his mask at his friend.

“I was wondering why they felt a little loose in the ass.”

Iruka’s eye twitched. “Oh, wow you’re funny.”

The Copy Ninja shrugged and shoved his hands back in his pockets. “Sorry, I didn’t notice. I’m a little off my A-game.”

“Yeah?” Iruka muttered. “I couldn’t tell with all your broody, pouty, Uchiha vibes. 

“Don’t you mean broody, pouty, Uchiha _sexy_ vibes?”

Iruka shook his head. “Nope. Everything Uchiha stopped being sexy about a year ago. I walked in on him and Naruto in the bath. They weren’t doing anything particularly _intimate_ but seriously, Naruto is like my little brother.”

Ah, brother. That was much better and a lot less weird than Iruka being daddy. He was, after all, only about seven years older than Naruto. Well, not much weirder than Kakashi being Sasuke’s daddy. But then again Kakashi was about sixteen years older, so it was at least plausible that--

“ _Kakashi!_ ” Iruka barked.

Kakashi blinked and brought himself back into the conversation. He raised a hand to rub the back of his head sheepishly. 

“Sorry, Ruka-chaaan. I get stupid around you ‘cause you’re cute.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Iruka muttered. “Please get some rest. I don’t care how elite you are, you still need down time. Go home and ask Ibiki for a massage or something.”

Pain bloomed from Kakashi’s gut like he had just been punched, but he reinforced his fake smile and managed to nod. 

“I’ll do that,” he choked out. “I’ll see you later, Iruka.”

He could tell Iruka wasn’t buying it, but he made the seals for teleportation and popped out before his scarred friend could say anything.

* * *

Outside, as Kakashi made his way slowly through the streets of Konoha, the grey skies gave away to small slivers of sunshine. Now it was doing that sunny but still raining thing that Kakashi hated. Pick one: Sun or Rain. It was bad enough that the Copy Ninja himself was a giant abyss of clashing and confusing emotions, the weather didn’t need to be indecisive on top of it.

He passed by a vendor selling fruit underneath a colorful overhang. The jounin scanned the piles of apples and pears, but decided he wasn’t hungry despite having not eaten since the night before. His head and his heart were just too full of trepidation that he really didn’t have much room for anything else.

Nodding to the vendor, Kakashi continued down the street, his pack getting heavier by the minute and his uniform slowly soaking through to his skin. He knew that if he didn’t get home soon, he’d be in a world of hurt-- or at least a world of itchy skin.

But should he go home? What was there at home? All his stuff was at Ibiki’s. Was it in bad taste to go to Ibiki’s since they’d fought before he left? Or was that even more reason to go see him first thing?

Now, Kakashi might lie to his friends and colleagues on a daily basis, but he never lied to himself. He knew he wanted to see Ibiki, and he wanted to see him _now_. He wanted to talk about why his lover had reacted the way he had, and what they needed to do to get things back to the way they were--if they could. He also was tired from the mission, and wanted a healthy dose of stress relief. Even if the mission had been easier than most, and it had been fun because the company had been awesome, there was no way to come out totally fine after an interrogation session—even a short one. 

What he really wanted was a good hard fuck; the kind where your ass was so sore you could barely sit down the next day, but all the rest of your body was nice and loose. Kakashi’s best get-out-of-mission-blues-remedy was to sandwich himself between Ibiki and a wall, and then have a good long soak in the hot tub. 

But more than that, Kakashi wanted to be with Ibiki because he wanted reassurance that he wasn’t losing him. It wasn’t as if they were the most stable of lovers—Ibiki had made that obvious the last time Kakashi had seen him—but Ibiki’s presence had been a constant for Kakashi for the last few years. They were good friends besides everything else, and the Copy Ninja wasn’t ready to let that go.

Slowly making a one-eighty, Kakashi headed for the inquisitor’s home. His heart pounded against his ribs as he made his way back through the streets. He had a feeling that he was not going to like how this all turned out, but he chose to be optimistic for once. Things went right for him once in a while, he did have Sasuke after all, and none of his close friends had died in what, three? Four years? Not since Akatsuki had attacked the village. 

But as Kakashi rounded a corner, and turned onto the residential street where Ibiki lived, he realized that this was not one of those times when things were going to go right for him.

Ibiki’s apartment was on the ground floor of a narrow building that faced the Hokage monument. A wooden porch with a wide overhang sat out front. Usually, the porch was empty, save a folding chair or two, but today instead of the chairs, there was a small stack of cardboard boxes. 

Kakashi approached slowly, and the cold ball of anxiety that had started growing in his gut began to crawl up into his chest. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His lungs constricted so painfully, he couldn’t stop himself from hunching even further than his usual lazy slouch. 

As he neared the boxes, he reached out to one pulled the cardboard flaps apart. Inside, there were uniform pants and several volumes of Icha Icha.

It was his stuff. 

Ibiki had set his stuff out on the porch. They weren’t even going to talk about it. Kakashi was just going to have to deal with being kicked out and suffer the humiliation of retrieving his stuff out here in the open for everyone to see.

Kakashi knew that if he searched out with his chakra, he would find no trace of Ibiki inside his apartment. If the inquisitor wasn’t home, then he was no doubt deep underground doing his job and couldn’t be disturbed. Not that the Copy Ninja would have bothered to try and talk to him if he had been home? What the hell could he have possibly said? Where would he have started?

Not bothering to take his stuff, Kakashi turned and headed back into town, slightly dazed. Although his head was a jumble of thoughts and worries only minutes ago, it was now relatively blank. He felt a strange kind of numbness from his stomach all the way to his fingertips. Kakashi hoped that this state of shock was short-lived because he really didn’t want to stagger around like a zombie for too long; his ‘hip and cool’ image was on the line after all.

Stopping abruptly, Kakashi let out a frustrated sigh and rolled his shoulders.

“Damn, this sucks…”

Kakashi never did well when he was given time alone for introspection. He needed someone or something to distract him, and a mission was out of the question. It hadn’t even been two hours since he had arrived back in the village, so Iruka would never approve it.

So instead, the jounin pulled a small scroll from his vest and bit into his thumb. He went through the seals for summoning, and lowered himself to a squat. A pop and a poof of smoke later and in front of him sat his largest ninken, Bull. 

The hound licked his lips and cocked his head to the side as if to say ‘what’s up’ as he studied his master with big, brown eyes.

“I don’t know what to do,” Kakashi said quietly. “If I go back and talk to Iruka, he’s gonna make cute eyes at me and I’ll be forced to tell him everything. I already told him I was fine and I don’t want to look anything less than totally awesome.”

Bull seemed to think over what Kakashi had told him for a moment before he moved up close to the jounin’s face and made scary eyes.

Kakashi chuckled softly, “Tenzo? He’s still out on the mission. Besides, Tenzo would probably get more upset about it than me.”

Bull sighed and lifted his leg to scratch behind his ear. Kakashi was about to sit back on his heels to wait out the long itching session when his nin dog abruptly stopped. The dark hound slowly moved closer to Kakashi and sniffed at his uniform.

“What?” Kakashi asked, confused.

Bull didn’t answer, and instead just turned around and made his way slowly down the street. Kakashi knew that the nin dog wanted him to follow, so he stood and dragged his feet behind his summon.

“Where are we going?” the jounin asked.

Again, Bull didn’t reply as he turned a corner and headed down a street lined with a large, new apartment complex. Kakashi admired the building as they made their way through a group of young, academy ninja, and thought to himself that maybe it was time for a change of scenery. He liked how the place kept the old fashioned design, but used more contemporary and practical materials. 

Shaking his head, Kakashi thought to himself, _Why am I thinking about architecture? That’s gotta be a bad sign when kawara and woven bamboo are suddenly interesting… Maybe I should just go home and rent some porn. ‘Deep Impact’ is probably still available and I’ve only seen that one like, four or five times—_

“Kakashi, what the hell are you doing?”

Startled, Kakashi looked up to see Genma leaning on a railing of the new building’s second floor in his uniform pants and a white wife beater. The tokujō had a bottle of sake on one hand and a smoldering cigarette in the other. He had his hair pulled back with a rubber band, and his long bangs hung down in his bloodshot eyes. Dark circles hung beneath, making his honey-colored skin seem ashen.

“Genma?” Kakashi asked, confused, but smiled and scratched the back of his head. “Oh um… my dog wanted to join the circus, but we didn’t know where it was so… we were just looking. You seen any tall, colorful tents around?” 

Genma took a long drag from his smoke and raised an eyebrow. “You got a couple cards missing in your deck, you know that, right?”

“I do,” Kakashi answered with a soft chuckle. “What are you doing in the pretty new building?” 

“I moved last month, remember?” Genma crushed his butt in the metal ash tray sitting beside him on the railing.

“Here?” Kakashi’s eyes widened. “This is your new place? That’s pretty awesome. It’s all… fancy shmancy.”

“And it’s cheap.” Genma pulled another cigarette from the pack in his pocket, and Kakashi started to wonder how the special jounin was holding up. It was rare to see Genma smoking at all, and now he was sucking them back like oxygen.

“So, I ask again.” Genma flicked his lighter and pulled smoke into his lungs. “What are you doing?”

Kakashi shrugged his shoulders. “I told my dog I needed something to do, so I was following him. I don’t know where he’s gone though.” As Kakashi looked around for Bull, he suddenly had a suspicion that this was exactly where his ninken had meant for him to end up. His summons would never pop away before getting him to his planned destination.

If that was true… Bull had wanted to bring him to Genma? Had the ninken smelled Genma on him from the mission? 

“Why do you need something to do?” Genma asked. “We’re supposed to be resting.”

Kakashi looked at the ground for a moment before he answered. “I uh... I just don’t wanna go home… and I can’t go to Ibiki’s…”

Genma was silent for a long moment, and when Kakashi looked back up as his friend, the tokujō was looking down at him with sad eyes. 

“You wanna come up?” Genma asked.

Kakashi didn’t even hesitate before he nodded. He teleported to the balcony and nimbly took the cigarette from Genma’s fingers. The special jounin growled without any real menace, and turned away to head back in the apartment while Kakashi lowered his mask and took a drag.

“Aren’t you worried someone’s gonna see you out there, Kakashi?” Genma asked from the kitchen.

Kakashi exhaled and crushed the stick in the ashtray before he moved to the doorway. “I was facing the window. Besides, it’s almost dark out, and it’s raining, and I’m up on the second floor, and my face is so pale anyway that they probably wouldn’t see anything but a white blur, so-”

“Okay, okay,” Genma came back into the living room carrying three more bottles of sake and a towel. He plopped down on the floor, slipping his legs underneath the blanket of the kotatsu, and rubbed at his eyes with his free hand. Kakashi noted that there were three more empty bottles sitting on the kotatsu top and six strewn around on the floor. Genma was a little notorious for having one of the highest alcohol tolerances in Konoha, but the Copy Nin thought that even _he_ might be getting close to a little bit drunk. This was definitely not good; Genma rarely drank when he wasn’t with friends. Whatever had been wrong the morning of the mission, was still wrong, and the wrongness was probably… _really_ wrong.

“You doing all right, Gen?” Kakashi asked carefully, his friend’s welfare immediately topping any of his own grievances. 

“Yeah,” Genma sighed. “Except that I’ve taken a shower and washed my hands seven billion times and I still can’t get the blood out from around my nails.” The special jounin set the full bottles on the kotatsu and studied the tips of his fingers. “Royal pain in the ass.”

Kakashi kicked off his sandals and set his pack on the balcony. He opened his flack vest and slipped it off his shoulders before dropping it beside his other things. Stepping into the apartment, the Copy Nin surveyed the interior and hummed approvingly at Genma’s taste in furniture and colors. Everything was wood, and all the cushions, curtains and rugs were either grey, blue, or both with a small accent of red.

_Uh oh, I’m going off on a_ Home and Garden _tangent again…_ Kakashi moved to sit across from his friend and took the offered towel to dry his hair. The heat from underneath the blanket warmed his legs and lower torso.

“Didn’t know you had so much liquor stashed at your place,” Kakashi grinned as he removed his forehead protector, set it on the kotatsu top, and rubbed at his damp locks. “I would have come over more often.”

Genma swallowed and shook his head.

“I don’t. I bought this all on the way home from the mission review.”

Kakashi’s eyebrow rose, “Really?”

Genma nodded and knocked back another long swallow and Kakashi figured he was either going for instant liver failure, or maybe choking himself to death. The special jounin wiped at his mouth and rolled the half empty bottle between his palms. 

“So what happened with Ibiki?” he asked. 

Kakashi cringed. “Man, you get right to the point.”

Genma shrugged. “Why dance around it? It’s like a big fucking rhino sitting in the middle of the room and we try not to talk about it.”

“I thought it was supposed to be an elephant.” Kakashi frowned.

“Just freaking spill it, dude.”

Kakashi sighed and pulled off his soaking, uniform top. He still had on his sleeveless under armor, but he shivered all the same. He pulled the blanket higher and pouted at his friend over the dark fabric. 

“I’m not really sure I want to talk about it. I mean, I came over here because of that, yeah… but it was more to mope and do some smooth, mysterious, brooding than to hash it out.”

Genma made a face. “I thought we were going to talk about all this shit over drinks.” He held up the bottle of sake. “Here’s the drinks, so out with the shit.”

“Can we just leave it at we’re not together anymore?”

Genma sat forward and glared across the kotatsu. “Tell me what happened, and I’ll tell you what happened to me.”

“Ibiki dumped me by packing all my shit up in boxes and leaving them out on the porch for me to find. No message, no note, just—here’s your stuff, leave,” Kakashi said, all in quick burst of breath. It was painful to say it aloud, but the faster he got it out, the faster he could stop talking about him find out what was killing Genma.

But Genma was not going to let him off that easy. The special jounin set the sake bottle down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 

“Wow…” The tokujō frowned at the floor, “that… really sucks.”

Kakashi sighed. “Yes, it does. Can we talk about something else now?”

“That doesn’t sound like Ibiki at all,” Genma continued, ignoring Kakashi’s plea to change the subject. “Why would he do something so… I don’t know, spineless?”

Kakashi brushed his hair from his eyes and took a long swallow from the sake bottle. Okay fine, if Genma wanted to talk about it, he would just talk about it. 

“Ibiki understands how people work better than anyone I know,” the jounin started. “He understands how people think, and why people think and do what they do—he’s an interrogator, he has to. You understand; you’ve been though the same training.”

Genma nodded.

“Well, there’s an upside and a downside to all that,” Kakashi continued. “Ibiki gets to crack open people’s skulls, figuratively speaking of course… sometimes…” The Copy Nin shook his head to clear that mental image. “He gets to look inside other people’s heads; take them apart, but since that’s all he ever does, he’s never had to give anything back. Ninety-nine point nine nine nine percent of the people Ibiki comes in contact with, never even know his name.”

“I can see how that would be fucked up,” Genma said softly. 

“He can’t really talk to anyone without psychoanalyzing them. I didn’t mind it, because everyone I know does it to me.”

“I don’t.”

“You do, you just don’t know you’re doing it.”

Genma’s eye twitched, but Kakashi continued, “Anyway, long story short: I was okay with him being emotionally stunted, but he wasn’t. And when I suggested we move forward with our relationship, he freaked out. Now, my stuff his piled on his porch, and I feel like an idiot.”

Genma looked sadly at him through his thick eyelashes.

“Do you love him?”

Kakashi sighed again and looked at the ceiling. “I don’t know, yeah. Maybe… I don’t know.”

“Then you’re not an idiot.” Genma took another long drink and set the empty bottle on the kotatsu top. 

“I’m an idiot…”

Kakashi looked down and cocked his head to the side, his interest at its peak. _Finally_ they were moving on to Genma and his dilemma. All the talk about Ibiki had been giving Kakashi some serious indigestion.

“How so?” he asked.

Genma stared at the sake bottle and spoke slowly, as if reading from a script, or quoting words he had memorized beforehand. “You um… remember the night before we got called to the mission? I left early?”

Kakashi nodded. “Iruka was pissed.”

Genma nodded. “I had…” the special jounin cleared his throat and rubbed at the back of his neck, “oh, wow, no matter how I try and say this, I’m gonna look like a monster…”

Kakashi frowned and scooted around the table to be closer to his friend. He spoke softly, as if someone might overhear them.

“It’s okay, Genma,” he said, leaning in, “you can tell me.”

Genma’s didn’t meet his eyes. The older man stayed staring at a spot on the floor like it held answers to the universe.

“I’ve been in love with Raidou since we were genin.” 

Kakashi blinked and thought that he could safely say he hadn’t expected that.

“Uh… really?”

Genma nodded. “Yes, but that’s not… let’s move on.” 

“Okay,” Kakashi agreed. 

“He doesn’t feel the same, obviously. To him, I’ve always been just a good friend—well, his _best_ friend.”

Kakashi nodded. 

“I’ve always… always harbored this hope that we could... that he…” Genma cleared his throat again and shifted himself where he sat. “I just always thought in the back of my mind that we could be something more than friends. Wishful thinking, I know, but I couldn’t help it.”

“I understand,” Kakashi said quietly, “I’ve had a thing for a straight guy too.”

“Yeah…” Genma ran a hand over his face. “Anyway, you know that guy Kyuya, from biological-chemical?”

Kakashi frowned, a little confused, but he nodded. “Yeah, he works with torture and interrogation.”

“We’ve been talking for the last couple months. He’s cool, and he’s gay so… you know how that is.” Genma placed his arms carefully on the table and laced his fingers together. “He’s pretty easy to talk to, even though most of what he wants to talk about is work. He’s been telling me about all these new drugs they’ve come up with for extra… stubborn prisoners. They’ve got these new truth serums and pain enhancers—some really weird shit. I only gave him half an ear until he talked about this new stuff that targets the inhibitions part of your brain.”

Kakashi folded his arms and leaned on the kotatsu top. “Yeah, I remember Ibiki taking about something like that.”

Genma grimaced and glanced at Kakashi remorsefully. “Sorry to bring him up again.”

Kakashi shrugged, “It’s okay.”

“So, we got to talking about this drug and how it just takes away all your fear and trepidation, making you go with whatever your wants are deep down. It like, brings out your true self or whatever. I got this stupid idea to slip it to Raidou sometime and tell him how I really felt about him while he was under the influence. I thought I’d… I don’t know, that whole wishful thinking got the better of me, I guess.”

Kakashi’s eyes widened. “Did you actually do it?”

Genma let his head fall between his arms. “I wasn’t going to. I had asked Kyuya for a small dose of it, but then I sort of chickened out at the last minute. But then the guy was there that night at the bar, and Raidou was right there, and I’ve wanted to know for so long, that I just caved. I did it, and then things just got… completely out of hand.”

Intrigued, Kakashi leaned farther forward and licked his lips from beneath his mask.

“That’s why you two left early that night…”

Genma nodded. “I started talking to him—at first about nothing, but then I started teasing him about buying me drinks and trying to get me wasted so he could take me home. I never, ever in a thousand years thought he would actually say yes.”

Kakashi’s jaw dropped. “Wait… what? He took you home? Like, _took you home_ took you home?”

Genma looked at him and nodded.

“Well then...” Kakashi waved his hands. “What’s wrong? Yeah, you’re kind of an asshole to do that to him, but if you guys worked it out, isn’t it okay now? Don’t beat yourself up over the principals of it. We’re shinobi, man, not a lot of what we do is totally ethical.”

Genma held up his hands, shaking his head vigorously. “No, no. Kakashi, I’m not done. Let me finish.”

“Oh,” Kakashi put his hands in his lap, “Sorry.”

Genma turned away and stared back at that spot on the floor. He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. Kakashi was stunned at the defeated look on his friend’s face. The special jounin looked so sad at that moment that Kakashi wanted to scoop him up and cuddle him.

“I couldn’t believe it was happening,” Genma said, his voice barely above a whisper. “It was like he was inside my head. I didn’t even have to say something before he was already doing it. Everything I had ever wanted from Raidou, he... It was just one of those… It was so…”

“He fucked you real good.” Kakashi offered.

Genma blushed scarlet, and Kakashi was charmed. “Uh, yeah, you could say that. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to be able to walk the next day, but I didn’t care. It was _Raidou!_ I thought that this was it for the rest of my life, and I’d never been happier.” The special jounin ran a hand over his face and sighed heavily. “Then we fell asleep together, and that was the most fantastic feeling of them all. Just being with him, being beside him as he fell asleep…” 

Kakashi held his breath.

“I don’t understand what happened next. I woke up to Raidou getting out of the bed, and I could tell right away something was wrong. He wouldn’t look at me, and he told me that I should leave. But of course, I couldn’t just go, not after what had happened.” The special jounin paused to swallow hard before he continued. “It was just a quiet thing in the beginning, but then I realized that Raidou was panicking, and that made me start to panic, and then everything turned to shit. We started shouting and he called me all kinds of shitty things, and then he uh…” Genma’s eyes were shining, but he did his best to blink back the tears that threatened to fall. 

“Then he said he never wanted to see me again, and if I ever touched him again, h-he was gonna kill me.”

Genma stopped there, his jaw clenching so hard, the veins in his neck started to bulge. Kakashi sat in silence, not sure what to say, as a simple ‘I’m sorry’ would sound profoundly lame. The Copy Nin did reach out a hand though, and placed his palm over Genma’s clenched fist. The special jounin was shaking, and Kakashi felt helpless.

“I don’t understand what happened,” Genma repeated. He reached up and pulled the band from his hair, running his fingers over his scalp in slow circles. “I don’t get why everything was so good, and then just a couple hours later, he’s…”

Kakashi squeezed his hand. “You guys were talking outside the mission room though, I saw you. What was he saying?”

Genma sniffed. “He asked if I was okay, and then he asked if we could talk after the mission.”

“Well, that’s good, right?” Kakashi asked. “That’s not ‘I never want to see you again’ or ‘don’t ever touch me again or I’ll kill you’.”

“But what am I supposed to say!” Genma brought his hands to his head and pressed hard on his temples. “Tell him that I drugged him so I could ask him some stupid shit that doesn’t matter? That’s not what friends do to each other! ‘Oh sorry, Rai, I slipped something in your drink because I’m too much of a coward to tell you I love you. And I know we had sex and you’re totally straight, but we’re still cool, right?’”

Kakashi felt something cold and heavy drop into his gut. Genma’s words had awakened a very basic instinct, and adrenaline now coursed through the Copy Nin’s veins. Something wasn’t right, and Kakashi hated to be the one to tell Genma he might have done something worse than he thought.

“Uh… Gen, did you say you slipped the drug in his drink?” Kakashi asked carefully.

Genma looked at him and nodded. “Yes, it was a pill. I crushed it and poured it in his drink.”

Kakashi let out a slow breath and calmed his racing heart with a slow and steady flow of chakra.

Genma leaned forward, eyes wide and foreboding. “What? Kakashi… what?”

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. “The drug used to lift inhibitions is called rohazine. I only know this because Ibiki was talking about it a couple weeks before the mission. It’s really potent, which is nice, because it doesn’t take much to really fuck someone over. You dose someone with just the tiniest bit of that shit, and they’re telling you everything you want to know, and laughing the whole time.”

Kakashi looked at Genma hard with his one eye and swallowed hard.

“Trouble is, rohazine is injected. It can’t be converted into a powder because the chemical compound changes, making the affects different.”

Genma’s eyes looked like they were going to fall out of their sockets. His fingers gripped the edge of the kotatsu so hard, from the knuckles, all the way to the tips of his fingers were white.

“So… what the hell did I give him?” Genma breathed.

Kakashi shook his head. “I don’t know. What did the pill look like?”

“Small, blue… I don’t know, maybe-”

“Shape of an octagon?” Kakashi asked.

“Yeah, I think so.” Genma nodded. “Octagon, and had a three digit number stamped on it.”

Kakashi moved a hand to his face and rubbed at his eyes hard. “Oh, wow…” he moaned, “That dude fucked you over.”

“What?” The special jounin lurched forward and fisted Kakashi’s top. “What was it?”

Kakashi looked up and wished to every god he could think of that he didn’t have to tell Genma what he had to tell him.

“What you gave him was fentrazhol, Gen. The Slave Drug.”

Genma released Kakashi and sat back, his face ashen. He looked as if he was about to pass out as he slowly shook his head. 

“What?” the special jounin rasped softly. “I’ve never heard of that. What the fuck is it?”

“Ibiki told me about it last year,” Kakashi explained, shaking his head as he realized everything made sense now. “Fentrazhol is a chemical that was discovered recently by Suna’s science division. The drug takes away all emotion except a severe need to please. The unlucky soul to be under the influence of this powerful drug—and I’m talking _fucking powerful_ —is at the mercy of whoever he or she is with. All that exists in that person’s mind is, ‘how do I please them?’ or ‘what do I have to do to make them happy?’ Raidou was working off your chakra; instinctually doing what you wanted. It didn’t matter what he thought about it. That night he was completely submerged in trying to please you… he was helpless.”

Genma’s face went through a series of emotions very fast. Surprise turned to horror, horror turned to disbelief, disbelief turned to anguish. The special jounin closed his eyes and shook his head furiously.

“No… no, no, no… no. I don’t… this isn’t happening.”

Kakashi’s hand moved up Genma’s arm and he took a strong hold of his friend’s shoulder. He couldn’t say anything. He could only watch and wait as everything fell into place and the tokujō started to accept what had happened.

“I uh…” Genma choked on his words. He paused to swallow hard and tried again. “So, I raped my best friend…”

“Uh…” Kakashi didn’t know how to answer that. “I wouldn’t… not exactly.”

“I did,” Genma moaned. “Oh my god, I did… fuck… _fuck_ …”

Kakashi moved to steady Genma as the special jounin started to sway. The older man leaned against the table and whimpered softly. 

“Ah… I’m gonna be sick…”

Kakashi was on his feet, and pulling Genma into the kitchen before he himself knew what was happening. He guided the tokujō to the sink, and pulled back his friend’s long hair as the older man wretched violently. The smell of half digested alcohol assaulted Kakashi’s nostrils, even through the mask. He grimaced at the stench, but he held on to his friend nevertheless.

When Genma coughed hard, and slowly lowered himself to a squatting position, Kakashi turned on the faucet and rinsed out the sink. Genma’s hands and forehead rested against the wood of the lower cabinets, and his breathing was labored, but steady. The silver-haired nin filled a glass with water and slid to the floor beside his friend. Genma turned around and sat, leaning partially against the cabinet, and partially on Kakashi’s arm.

“Sorry…” Genma apologized softly, his voice hoarse.

“Don’t be,” Kakashi waved his hand. “Here, drink this.”

Genma took the glass and nodded in thanks before he lifted it to his lips. Kakashi couldn’t help but watch the muscles in his friend’s throat as Genma downed the water in a few long swallows. His cheeks were flushed from strain, and the tanned skin of his temples glistened. 

This was not good. Here Kakashi was, sitting with one of his oldest friends, having mildly dirty thoughts, while said friend had a complete breakdown. Genma was seriously in the middle of a crisis, and all Kakashi could think about was how awesome it would be to get in his pants… he was definitely the lowest of the low. Kakashi couldn’t help wondering just when he had become such a bastard.

But damnit, Genma was so hot… and Kakashi knew there was really no way of actually getting into Genma’s pants, but he was pretty happy to be the one that got to sit with this amazing special jounin and offer what comfort he could.

Genma sat for a few minutes in silence, brooding in his superiorly awesome way, before he sniffed and ran a palm over his eyes.

“What should I do?” he murmured.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Kakashi took the glass from Genma’s fingers and pulled himself to his feet. He turned around and offered his friend a hand. “He said he wanted to talk to you, right?” he asked as Genma stood. “You should probably start out with an apology and see where it goes from there.”

Genma said nothing and slowly moved back into the living room. He returned to his seat and folded his legs underneath the blanket. Placing his elbows on the kotatsu top, he rested his forehead in his hands. Kakashi knew Genma probably wanted a moment to himself, so he turned back around and placed the glass in the sink. He moved slowly around the kitchen, picking up empty sake bottles and placing them in the recycle bin on the floor by the trash.

When the quiet sobs from the living room drifted into the kitchen, Kakashi tried not to hear them. He gripped the sink and stared at the wall. He wanted to go to his friend, hold him tightly and lie to him about everything being all right; but since Genma was reserved with his personal shit, would he accept something like that? He was the most self-sufficient person Kakashi knew. He handled stuff in his own macho way all the time, so the Copy Ninja wasn’t sure what he should do. Someone who keeps their emotional baggage to themselves wouldn’t want someone coming in and knocking down figurative walls, right? They’d just build them higher, right? Right?

But as Kakashi tried not to listen, Genma’s sobs grew more painful, more unbearably desperate. They were the sounds of a man truly in agony, and Kakashi couldn’t stand it anymore. He turned around and moved into the living room. He kneeled behind Genma and gently pulled his friend against him. As he slid one arm around the tokujō’s shoulders and the other around his waist, Kakashi expected his friend to push him off, but Genma did the exact opposite. He fell into Kakashi’s embrace, his hands gripping the Copy Ninja’s strong hands tightly and burying his face into the bend of the younger man’s arm.

Surprised, Kakashi sat back, stretching his legs out, and settled them on both sides of Genma’s. He pulled his friend in close, his chest pressing against the special jounin’s back. He nuzzled Genma’s neck and brought his lips in close to the other man’s ear. He whispered soothing words that had no meaning, but it didn’t matter; Genma only needed the tone, the assurance that someone was there for him. He wouldn’t hear the words anyway.

Genma’s hand left Kakashi’s and fumbled above his head. His fingers slid into the younger man’s silver hair, and pulled the jounin desperately closer. Kakashi let his friend cling to him, realizing that he wanted the contact as much as Genma needed it. He still hurt from Ibiki’s betrayal and the warm body against his felt better than he had ever expected.

“I’m sorry…” Genma apologized again breathlessly, “I’m sorry…”

Kakashi, not sure who Genma was apologizing to, whispered gently, “It’s all right, Gen. I’m here… I’m right here…” 

Kakashi breathed in the clean smell of Genma’s soft hair. He liked the feeling of his friend’s warm skin on his forehead. The Copy Ninja wanted to run his hands all over that tanned smoothness, but he knew that probably wouldn’t fly. Sure, if anything happened, they could call it comfort sex, they could even call it mission sex technically, but there had always seemed to have been these unspoken boundaries between himself and Genma. It was one thing to think about it, joke about it, and fantasize about it, but it was an entirely different thing altogether to act on it. If they hadn’t had sex yet after years and years of friendship, didn’t that mean the opportunity had passed them by? 

Steeling himself, Kakashi made no moves to go beyond a comforting embrace. He listened as his friend’s cries quieted and his breathing slowed. Genma’s hands eventually released their death grip and he lowered his arms to his lap. The two sat together until the sun had sunk completely behind the Hokage monument. Eventually, Kakashi slipped his fingers through Genma’s without realizing it, and the special jounin let his head fall back onto Kakashi’s shoulder. 

“Do you think I’m a bad person, Kakashi?” Genma asked quietly.

“No.” Kakashi turned his head and spoke into the hollow just below Genma’s jaw. “You love Raidou. You just wanted what everyone wants, and you never meant for anyone to get hurt.”

Genma breathed in deeply and tilted his head. The movement bared his throat to Kakashi, stunning the jounin. The Copy Ninja wasn’t sure if Genma’s action was innocent, or if the tokujō had done it on purpose as an invitation.

Kakashi decided to risk it and pressed his masked lips to Genma’s throat. He kissed his friend once, twice gently, whispering as he trailed up the special jounin’s jaw. If Genma didn’t want it, he’d stop it, and Kakashi could always fall back to playing like he was doing nothing more than comforting.

“We all do stupid things when we’re in love… especially when that love isn’t returned.”

Genma’s breathing became shallow as Kakashi’s kisses became firmer; the Copy Ninja’s masked mouth pressing harder against tightly muscled flesh. The jounin’s hands pulled gently from Genma’s and rested experimentally on the tokujō’s hard stomach. His fingers felt through the thin cotton of Genma’s sleeveless top, to the sharp contours of the older man’s defined abs. 

Kakashi startled when he felt calloused fingers slipping under the top of his mask. His hand shot up to catch the special jounin’s in a surprised and clumsy grip.

“I’m sorry…” Genma whispered, “I just want to feel your lips on me.” The tokujō turned his head and bit the fabric over Kakashi’s chin. He pulled away, dragging the mask down a few centimeters, but then stopped and closed his eyes. 

“I won’t look, I promise.”

Kakashi was rendered immobile at the rich and sensual purr of his usually reserved comrade’s voice. When he had thought about how Genma’s bedroom voice was probably sexy as hell, he really had _no fucking clue._ Genma’s sex voice was _sinful_. Instructions for baking a cake eat your heart out. Genma could probably get a guy hard reading the ingredients on the back of a shampoo bottle! 

As Kakashi’s libido kicked into high gear, his heart started to beat painfully hard in his chest, and the Copy Nin reached up to touch Genma’s jaw, his thumb sliding easily over damp skin. 

“You’re okay with this?” he asked.

Genma opened his eyes, catching Kakashi’s gaze. The jounin swallowed hard as he felt himself getting sucked in and swallowed. Who knew the special jounin’s stare could be so intense?

“Yeah,” Genma murmured, “I think I might need it.”

Kakashi considered the offer for only a fraction of a moment, then reached out to pluck his forehead protector from where he had placed it on the kotatsu. Genma looked at him confused, but said nothing as the jounin untied the knot in the fabric.

“It’s so I know you’re not cheating,” Kakashi said simply.

Genma understood and closed his eyes as the Copy Ninja covered them with the hitai-ate. Kakashi retied the knot tightly, but made sure he could slip a few fingers between it and Genma’s hair. It wouldn’t do to have the special jounin passing out on him.

As soon as his blindfold was secure, Kakashi pulled his mask down and granted his friend’s request. He pressed his lips to the special jounin’s throat and laid hard, open mouthed kisses up his hot skin. Genma sighed softly and slid his fingers back up into Kakashi’s hair. He pulled on the silver strands, not as hard as before, but just as desperately. Kakashi grunted and slipped his hands underneath Genma’s shirt, and passed the waistband of the older man’s uniform pants. Smooth skin met his fingertips and the Copy Ninja had to stop for a moment and hold back a pathetic whimper.

“Wow, you shave everything?”

Genma arched, making Kakashi’s cock throb as the special jounin’s ass ground against him. “No, I had it all removed a few years ago.”

“That’s… awesome…” Kakashi hands slid lower, palming a long and slender erection. The older man moaned and arched harder. His hands pulled at the back of Kakashi’s hair, rough this time, sending spirals of pleasure cascading down the Copy Nin’s spine. “Shit, you’re sexy, Genma.”

The tokujō sighed and writhed in his hold as Kakashi stoked him slowly. Genma’s skin tasted better with each passing second, and Kakashi couldn’t stop from indulging himself. He licked up his friend’s smooth throat, and pulled one hand from Genma’s length to roughly grip the older man’s jaw and turn his head further away. The Copy Nin devoured the venerable flesh just under the jaw and elicited an excited whimper from Genma’s throat.

“Are…” Genma panted heavily. “Are you a top, or bottom?”

“I like the bottom,” Kakashi murmured, “but not tonight. That okay?”

“Ah…” Genma gasped at a particularly hard bite from the Copy Nin and licked his lips. “Yeah…”

Kakashi’s hands went to Genma’s hips. The special jounin seemed almost to read his mind as Kakashi lifted the older man off his lap. Genma turned in his grasp, just as Kakashi pulled to the side, and the two managed to fall to the floor with Kakashi perfectly placed between the tokujō’s legs. Kakashi rolled his hips, just as Genma hooked one of his ankles around the other man’s thigh. 

Their movements were in perfect sync. It was like this had been practiced. Kakashi felt he knew exactly where to touch, exactly when Genma wanted him to. And in contrast, Genma seemed to know all of his most erogenous areas. The special jounin’s hands were dexterous and skilled beyond any that Kakashi had encountered before this. The tokujō’s fingers slid down his stomach, under his waistband, and glided over his cock to stroke him like an old lover. For one moment, the Copy Nin had an unreasonable fear that somehow, Genma had ingested the Slave Drug and was now under the influence of his chakra. There was no other explanation for them being so in tune with each other. But then he realized how absurd that was and pushed the thought out of his head with another perfect squeeze from Genma’s strong hand. 

“Ahh… shit…” Kakashi whispered harshly. He moved to crawl up the length of Genma’s body, but there he froze. 

Genma was breathing his air; his mouth a mere hair’s breadth away from Kakashi’s own. Just a tilt of his head and Kakashi would be kissing him. The jounin didn’t want to admit to himself exactly how long he had wanted to do that, but there was no denying it: Kakashi ached for those lips.

Their breath mingled with each other, their hearts beat intensely to the same rhythm, but the two elite jounin still balked at taking that last step into territory that had for so long been taboo.

Kakashi braced his hands on the floor on either side of Genma’s shoulders. He craned his neck to brush his lips against the older man’s, but did not press further as his friend seemed hesitant. The Copy Ninja didn’t know if this was an acceptable thing. Kissing was in some ways more intimate than sex, and some liked fucking without that particular intimacy. Was Genma was okay with this? Was he okay with their friendship changing that drastically?

“Gen…” Kakashi whispered. 

Breath still haggard, Genma froze his movements. “W-what?” he stammered, pulling his hands from Kakashi’s pants.

“Why… why haven’t we ever…” Kakashi started, “before this… I mean…”

To Kakashi’s surprise, Genma’s lips started to tremble. He pulled his hands completely away and let them fall to the hard floorboards by his head.

“I… d-do… do you not want to?” he stammered.

The plea in his friend’s voice was unmistakable, and Kakashi kicked himself for causing any doubt in Genma’s mind. He immediately lowered his lips to Genma’s and kissed the older man deeply. His tongue invaded the other’s silky mouth, teeth raking over Genma’s bottom lip. He treaded his fingers into long, blond locks and let his head go fuzzy as Genma kissed back with a passion and talent that made him feel almost juvenile. 

“I didn’t mean…” Kakashi panted between kisses. “I’m sorry…”

Genma’s strong arms came around Kakashi’s neck and he hugged the younger jounin tight against him. The Copy Nin returned the embrace and kissed the other man’s forehead and cheeks.

“Please tell me if you don’t want this.” Genma’s voice shook, and Kakashi could feel him fighting another sob. “Please… I can’t live with it if you don’t really--”

“Hell no. _Fuck_ no.” Kakashi pulled away to look down at Genma, but remembered at the last moment that the older man was blindfolded. “Don’t say shit like that. I was just wondering why when you’re so freaking hot, and we obviously have… well, we’re obviously really sexually compatible… Why have we never had sex before.”

Genma’s breathing steadied and his body lost most of its uncomfortable tension. He lay under Kakashi, his lips slightly parted and his breathing quiet, but still heavy.

“You think I’m hot?”

Kakashi snickered and lowered his head to kiss Genma’s nose. “No, I’m kidding; you’re pretty damn ugly. But that’s good ‘cause I only do ugly people.”

Genma didn’t take the bait. Instead he lay still and silent, letting his chakra mingle with Kakashi’s. His tongue slipped out of his mouth and ran slowly over his bottom lip. The Copy Nin watched the tiny movement with rapt attention, wishing to follow that tongue with his own, but he brought himself back to where he was. He shifted position and pulled himself higher up Genma’s body. He straddled one of the older man’s legs and brought both his hands to the tokujō’s smooth cheeks.

“Seriously, Gen,” Kakashi said softly. “I want you. I want to help you forget Raidou, and the fucking mission, and whatever else might be going on that’s had you so down.” He kissed Genma’s lips once. “And I want you to help me get my mind off stupid shit that I can’t do anything about. I want to be with someone that can just be with me and not have to psychoanalyze or shut himself off so hard I can’t…” Kakashi cut himself off before he got carried away. He sighed softly and ran his thumb over the special jounin’s lips.

“Just be with me, Genma,” he whispered. “Please, just be with me…”

Genma was still for a moment, but then he lifted his head to bring his lips to Kakashi’s. The kiss was sweet and soft, so much so, that when the older man pulled away, Kakashi felt light-headed.

“Take me to my bed,” Genma whispered.

Kakashi rose slowly, pulling the special jounin to his feet. He laced his fingers through Genma’s and pulled the older man gently down the hall and through the open bedroom door. He felt as if he were floating, riding a sea of arousal and excitement bordering on almost dizzying bliss. Parts of Genma, his body, his voice, sometimes his hair or lips, had been significant parts of Kakashi’s fantasies for as long as masturbation had been a regular activity. He had never allowed himself to embrace the full package, because on some level that felt like a betrayal of their friendship, but there was no way Kakashi could deny that he had always fancied the thought of bedding Genma would be like dying and skirting on the edge of heaven. 

Sleeveless shirt and uniform top were pulled roughly from sweaty bodies and two sets of skilled hands made quick work of pants and underwear. It was like an erotic dance as the jounin’s movements stayed in that surreal synchronization. Kakashi had another unreasonable thought that if he stopped and listened, Genma’s heart beat would be in time with the frantic pace of his own. Childish, but the idea stirred something warm in the younger man’s soul.

As he lay Genma out on the futon, Kakashi took a moment to just look. As much as he wanted to pull the other man apart and bury himself in sweet, sweet rapture, he made himself slow down and take in that perfect skin and flawlessly sculpted, _completely hairless_ body. Genma put his arms over his head, pulling his abs in a long stretch that made his torso seem almost endless. His knees came up, baring his most intimate parts and igniting a fire within Kakashi at witnessing one of Konoha’s top elite put himself in such a vulnerable position.

The Copy Nin suddenly felt a rush of uncertainty unlike anything he had experienced in a long time. He suddenly was overcome with a deep feeling of inadequacy in the face of this most perfect person. His heart skipped and his stomach flip-flopped as the Great Hatake Kakashi was frozen with nervousness.

But as if to prove they were truly connected, or maybe because he could read it in Kakashi’s chakra, Genma chose that time to reach his hand out and brush his fingers across the younger man’s unmasked face.

“Kakashi…” he whispered breathlessly. 

Kakashi had never been with someone so sensual. He had never been with someone so powerful and untouchable that could give himself so freely like Genma did. The Copy Nin was stunned as emotion welled up in his chest at Genma’s extraordinary offering to him and his uncertainty melted away. He moved in between Genma’s legs and lowered his hips down on top of the older man’s. He brought his lips in close to the special jounin’s and swallowed the soft cry that escaped from deep in the other’s throat.

The Copy Nin’s erection slid against Genma’s with every roll of his hips. The dirty-blond whimpered softly as Kakashi’s teeth raked over his bottom lip. Smooth, tan thighs pressed up to grind against pale ones as the air sang with heat and electricity. Kakashi’s breath was stolen as he listened to every purr, every sigh and moan that slipped through Genma’s lips. He wished for one moment that Genma was not blindfolded and he could look into those intense brown eyes as he took the older man slowly. But it was not to be, as this would no doubt be the only time Kakashi would be offered this incredible gift. Things would change a little between them but, by tomorrow, they would return to the friends they had always been, and would be forever.

“Ah… Kakashi…” Genma gasped. His fingers shook as he touched Kakashi’s face.

The Copy Nin braced himself on his hands and kissed Genma’s nose. His lips moved to press against smooth cheeks and the younger man startled at finding the cloth of his forehead protector damp with Genma’s tears. He said nothing and continued to comfort the best way he knew. His mouth and tongue slid down Genma’s throat to his muscled chest, and his hands took a firm hold of the special jounin’s lean hips. Genma arched hard and cried out as Kakashi’s teeth clamped down on his nipple. The older man was crying as Kakashi’s hands explored his body. Kakashi could feel the violent sobs through Genma’s chest and almost stopped his ministrations, but the special jounin pushed his fingers through the Copy Nin’s hair and held him close.

“Do it…” Genma moaned, “Come on, Kakashi, come on…”

Kakashi rose to his knees, taking one of Genma’s hands and kissing his palm gently. “What do you have? I won’t be able to go slow, and if you don’t have lube I’m going to rip you apart.”

Genma breathed heavily, and pointed to the night stand. “The box,” he whispered. Kakashi opened the drawer and pulled the small, wooden box from inside. “It’s salve. I don’t have any lube or oil or anything. I don’t do this very often.”

“This is fine,” Kakashi said as he dragged his fingers through the cool cream.

Genma rose up to lean back on his elbows; his legs spread wide. With his breath so heavy and his skin glistening in the soft light, Kakashi felt he had captured a beautiful yokai and was committing a grave sin by ravishing it so thoroughly. 

He kissed Genma, slid his knees underneath the other’s thighs, and pressed himself into Genma’s waiting and willing body. The special jounin made no sound but a soft exhale, and brought one hand up to grasp the back of Kakashi’s neck. The Copy Ninja wasted no time and started to move immediately. He slid in and out, pushing in and pulling back, his hips rolling and his muscles tightening with every hard thrust. 

Genma’s other arm came up to thread into Kakashi’s hair. The two fell back onto the futon and the special jounin’s legs wrapped tightly around the younger man’s waist. His back arched and he breathed into the Copy Nin’s eager ears. “Oh my god… _oh fuck_ …”

Kakashi growled low and bit into Genma’s throat. His sense of reality slipped further and further with every sigh, every breathless word, every thrust up from Genma’s hips. He had never before been so lost in someone; never been so taken or so completely spellbound in his life.

He was being consumed by Genma, and he couldn’t ask for more.

The special jounin’s hands reached above his head to grip the bottom of the headboard. He cried out again and again as Kakashi thrust hard and deep into him. Kakashi caught himself murmuring words of praise and awe in a breathless voice he didn’t recognize. But he didn’t care as euphoria caught up with him to crush him in a spine-shattering orgasm. He spilled into Genma, and clenched his jaw tight to keep himself from crying out pathetically. The Copy Ninja collapsed and buried his face in the older man’s neck, his muscles turning to water as he slipped in and out of consciousness.

When his mind returned to him, he heard Genma’s voice faintly, as if from far away. “ _Holy shit… holy shit…_ ” He pushed himself up on shaky arms and looked down at the special jounin’s flushed face. He groaned as he lifted his hips and pulled his flaccid member from Genma’s shaking body.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to come so fast. I just sort of lost it.”

Genma turned his head to face him, his tongue darting out to lick his lips as he panted. “What? Fast? What the hell are you talking about? I came _twice!_ I haven’t been fucked like that since…” He stopped to swallow. “No, I’ve never been fucked like that…” 

Kakashi grinned as his ego expanded to fill the room. He had been complimented like that on several occasions throughout his life, but hearing the words from Genma somehow made them seem much more significant. He leaned forward and kissed the older man on the lips.

“Damn. Well, now if I said you’re the best fuck I’ve ever had, it’s gonna sound stupid.”

Genma paused for a moment before he rose to his elbows again.

“Really?” he asked carefully.

Kakashi whispered ‘yes’ before he climbed off the bed and gathered up their discarded clothes from the floor. He cleaned himself with his boxers and slipped the uniform pants on commando. Returning to the bed, he tugged his under-armor over his head and pulled at his mask. When his face was covered, he reached up and uncovered Genma’s red and watery eyes.

“You okay?” Kakashi asked.

Genma nodded, his swollen lower lip trembling. Kakashi gently pushed his fingers through the special jounin’s hair and ran a thumb through the tear tracks on his friend’s cheeks. 

“You sure?” he asked again.

Genma chuckled and wiped at his eyes. He nodded again and reached for his pants. “I’m not crying because…” he sighed and fresh tears ran down his cheeks. “It’s just I was sure when we… when we had sex I wasn’t going to be able to… um…”

“But you did,” Kakashi stated.

Genma nodded. “It was so good, and I didn’t think of him at all.”

Kakashi tilted his head and leaned in close. “That’s good, right?”

Genma nodded again and hugged his clothes. “Take a shower with me before you leave?”

Kakashi slid a palm along Genma’s jaw and cupped the back of the older man’s neck. “I don’t plan on going anywhere tonight. My friend needs someone and I don’t usually fuck and take off anyway.”

Genma smiled and it reached his eyes. It was the first real smile since Kakashi had entered the apartment and it made the Copy Ninja’s heart sing. “Are you a cuddler?”

“Bed hog too. Covers, pillows...” Kakashi stood and offered a hand. “You’ll wake up tomorrow and I’ll probably be sleeping on every side of you.”

Genma snickered as he stood and followed Kakashi to the bathroom. “Well, that’ll be interesting.”

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Kakashi indeed turned out to be the biggest cuddle whore on the planet. After their shower, a very interesting experience as unmasked Kakashi wouldn’t let Genma turn around and face him, the Copy Nin all but attacked the older man as he crawled under the covers. Genma chuckled as Kakashi pressed up against his back and slipped an arm around his waist. He pushed a leg in between Genma’s as well, and the special jounin laughed out loud. 

“You expect me to sleep like this?”

Kakashi brushed away Genma’s damp hair and rested his head on the pillow. “Yes.” 

Genma didn’t mind. It was reassuring that the younger man wanted to be with him after the ridiculous display Genma had put on earlier that evening. The fact that Kakashi was all right with holding and touching him after everything was more comforting than any words or sexual release the Copy Nin could give him.

…even if it was unbelievable, mind-blowing, still-sore-in-two-weeks, sexual release.

The special jounin felt his face heat as he remembered the things he had said, and the way his body had reacted and responded to Kakashi’s arduous attention. Genma had not opened himself like that to anyone, not even with Raidou, since long ago when sex was still new and overwhelming. Copy Ninja Kakashi had thoroughly heeded every need his body had expressed, but without the mindless submission he now knew Raidou had expressed. Kakashi was passionate and giving and he warmed Genma’s soul with his caring and selflessness. 

The moon hung bright in the sky outside Genma’s window, and the tokubetsu lay quiet, thinking about his fortune. Kakashi stirred behind him and ran a thumb down his bare shoulder.

“You’re restless,” the Copy Nin whispered. 

Genma frowned thoughtfully into the darkness of his room. “Yeah… I’m still… can’t stop thinking about things.”

The special jounin felt Kakashi’s masked lips press against his shoulder blade. “Well, I can’t do anything else for you. I’m too tired.”

Genma chuckled. “This is fine. This is… good.”

Kakashi’s arm came around him tighter and Genma sighed softly. He let his eyes slip closed and he rested fully into the warm body behind him. Kakashi nuzzled his neck and let his fingers caress the tokujō’s smooth chest.

“Hey, Gen,” Kakashi murmured suddenly, pulling Genma from the beginnings of slumber.

“Hm?” 

“When you said you didn’t do this very often, what did you mean?”

Genma smiled and closed his eyes again. “I don’t have sex very often.”

Kakashi paused for a moment, but then shifted to raise himself up to lean on an elbow. “Really? I thought you meant you didn’t bottom often… You really… Really?”

Genma chuckled. “Yes. The last time was Raidou, and the time before that was last year around Christmas.”

Kakashi whistled softly. “Damn. Then why does everyone… I mean why do you—”

“—Why is my reputation what it is?” Genma shook his head against the pillow. “I have no fucking idea. Why does everyone think Iruka is the prude schoolteacher turned fatherly Hokage’s assistant?”

Kakashi snickered into Genma’s hair. “I don’t know. It’s Konoha’s best kept secret.”

Genma smiled at that and turned toward Kakashi. The Copy Nin rested his jaw in his palm and Genma reached up to flick the damp, silver hair out of a grey eye.

“You two are pretty close, huh?” he asked.

“Uuuhhh… yes?” Kakashi looked away as if contemplating it deeply. “It’s… strange because he’s like a brother. But we fuck. A lot.”

Genma cocked an eyebrow at the younger man, and Kakashi snorted.

“Our relationship is complicated, “he frowned again, “Or alarmingly simple… One of those.” 

Genma laughed and rolled to face his eccentric friend. “Good sex, invigorating pillow talk, and willingness to hold my hair as I throw up. You could be the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“You offering to be my fuck buddy?” Kakashi’s grin was wide beneath the mask.

Genma wrinkled his nose. “I wouldn’t really call it that, but sure.”

“Well, what would you like to call it?”

“Uh…” Genma thought about it. “Sex friends?”

Kakashi laughed, “That’s the exact same thing!”

“It’s less… I don’t know!” Genma made a face to cover up his grin. “We’re not ‘buddies’, we’re definitely ‘friends’. And I can’t call what we just did fucking. Fucking is really… well, _can_ be impersonal and dirty and stuff.”

“Oh I think it was pretty dirty, what we just did,” Kakashi said snidely.

Genma grinned and put his face in the pillow. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He looked up at Kakashi then and his face turned serious. “But it wasn’t impersonal.”

Kakashi nodded slowly, honoring what Genma was saying by taking it serious as well. “You’re right, it wasn’t.”

“I’m not in love with you though,” Genma added.

Kakashi’s face broke out into a grin once more. “Oh, thank god. I’m not sure what I’d do with _another_ stalker.”

Genma rose up to punch Kakashi in the shoulder. Kakashi caught the fist and rolled, starting a wrestling session, complete with giggling and tickling until they both fell into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

In the morning, or perhaps mid-afternoon, breakfast was made by a sleepy-eyed Genma, and Kakashi cleaned up the apartment. He rid the space of all the empty bottles of sake and placed all the trash outside by the door. Pickup was the next day, so people would just have to live with walking around the bags for today.

Conversation was the same as it had ever been. As Genma cooked and washed their uniforms from yesterday, Kakashi teased the tokujō that someday he would make someone a wonderful wife. The special jounin responded with a small smile and a nod of his head.

“Yeah, I’m definitely a house-husband.”

It was sort of cute how happy that seemed to make Kakashi. 

After breakfast and Kakashi’s clothes were dry, they said their goodbyes. Genma offered to help Kakashi move his stuff back home, but the jounin declined the offer. He needed to do it alone. As Kakashi waved and started down the street, Genma wished there was something he could do for his friend to repay him, but he knew that Kakashi always dealt with things alone. 

A week passed. Genma worked from home, reviewing his subordinates’ reports and sending them by summons. He knew he would get an earful from Iruka the next time they spoke, but he wasn’t ready to face people yet. Kakashi had tended his emotional wounds, but the healing process was slow. The sore had been bandaged, but was still broken and bleeding.

His retreat did not last however. On the eighth day of his seclusion, Iruka sent an angry message demanding he follow protocol and deliver his reports like a normal ninja, _or else_. Genma reluctantly woke the next morning and after showering, shaving, and throwing on a clean uniform, headed to the Hokage Tower.

“Sorry, Iruka,” he murmured softy as he entered the Hokage’s office.

Iruka looked up from a stack of documents and shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I just need you here because Torture and Interrogation’s paperwork is so backed up I’m swimming in it. I have a couple genin that volunteered to help this week, so if you would, please head over to records.”

Genma nodded. “No problem. Why is it so backed up?”

Iruka sighed and leaned back in his chair. He rubbed at his eyes and sighed heavily. “It’s just a combination of things. Ibiki’s been in the worst mood ever and is working overtime every day. Plus, Kotetsu and Izumo are still out on mission and I’m seriously gonna die having to do all this paperwork without them.” 

Genma frowned, taking in Iruka’s words. “Ibiki’s in a bad mood?”

“The worst ever,” Iruka looked up at Genma, his eyes searching for something unspoken. “Did Kakashi tell you?”

Genma shifted his stance, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Yeah,” he said quietly. 

The younger man shook his head and turned to look out the window. “Kakashi’s doing better than I would have expected, but still…”

Genma nodded. “I know. Hopefully he’ll be there this weekend so we can… I don’t know. Cheer him up or something.”

Iruka shook his head again, this time thoughtful. “He’ll see right through it. He’ll smile and act all charming and thank us, but what he really needs… is probably to just go on a mission. He heals best when he’s doing something to help someone else.”

The special jounin’s heart thumped at Iruka’s voiced thoughts, and he bit his lip to keep from grinning. “Yeah, I know.”

Iruka sighed again and turned back to face Genma. “We’ll see. I hope he’s not…” he trailed off and Genma blinked as the Hokage’s assistant’s face lit up.

Iruka pointed to Genma’s pants and gasped. “You’re wearing my pants!”

Stunned, Genma looked where Iruka was pointing and noticed stitching in the top of the uniform’s pocket. ‘Umino I’ stared back at him, clear as day, and the tokujō’s cheeks started to burn.

“Oh, uh… I can explain this.” _Shit. Kakashi must have been wearing them when he came over and then they got switched in the laundry. How did he miss that?_

Iruka stood, grinning manically. Gone was the sweet but firm Iruka that the general population knew and loved, and out came After Hours Iruka that only a privileged few had met.

“I knew it!” Iruka said excitedly. “I _knew_ something happened after that mission! You guys were sending out ‘fuck me’ vibes in the mission room that day, and ever since, Kakashi’s makes googly eyes every time someone even _mentions_ you.”

“Uh...” Genma struggled to find words, and not grin like a fool. “He makes googly eyes?”

Iruka tapped his fingers on the desk, “Yes.”

“I’m sorry Iruka, I know you and him are--”

“Sorry?” Iruka threw his hands up. “Why are you sorry? This is great! Genma, you can get Kakashi out of this funk. This weekend when we go out, hang all over him, shower him with attention, buy him drinks; tell him he’s amazing!”

“I… uh… what?” Genma stood thoroughly confused and disoriented. “Kakashi is gonna look at me like I’m a moron and leave.”

“No, Genma you don’t understand.” Iruka moved around the desk and pushed Genma into a chair. He stood over the tokujō with his hands on his hips, his teacher voice out and sharp on his tongue. “Genma, you are a very, _very_ attractive man.”

Genma sat dumbfounded. “Um, thank you?”

“You’re welcome. But that’s not my point. Kakashi is used to people complimenting him, and random strangers on the street acknowledging him and saying he’s the most incredible ninja since the Fourth, bla bla bla, but it’s always superficial. He very rarely gets that one on one, sincere and from-the-heart complement from people that know him well enough to actually know what they’re talking about.” Iruka turned and pulled another chair from the wall and sat down directly in front of Genma. “People are afraid of Kakashi, even with his celebrity status and most keep him at a safe distance.”

Genma nodded at that, knowing it to be entirely true.

“Just… do what I said. Tell Kakashi he’s sexy, tell him he’s awesome. A guy like you, who’s really hot and notorious for being—”

“—I am not—”

“—Shut up,” Iruka cut Genma off. “A guy like you, who’s cool and sexy and desired, and knows all about the kinds of things Kakashi likes to keep secret about himself? Just, do like I said and watch him turn into a teenager.”

Those words made Genma pause. Thinking back to his first few weeks as a chuunin, the blond remembered a miniature ANBU that had been assigned to his team. His comrades had given the small shinobi a wide birth, but Genma, snarky and on top of the world at fifteen, had seen less of the famous prodigy ninja, and more the lonely eleven-year-old boy.

_Genma moved away from the camp fire and plopped down on the fallen log beside the silver-haired ninja. He reached out his arm, offering his bag of dried fruit. The younger boy turned to look at him with his one eye, but made no move to take from the bag._

_“They’re good,” Genma said, “my girlfriend made ‘em.”_

_The kid glanced at the bag, but still made no move to take the offered treat._

_Genma sighed and waved the bag close to the younger boy’s face. “Holy cow, it’s just apples and sugar. It won’t kill you.”_

_Tentatively, the boy leaned closer, his body tense and ready to bolt. He reached forward slowly and slipped his slender fingers into the bag. His one visible eye watched Genma’s face suspiciously, but he pulled a sweet apple slice free and settled back onto the log._

_Genma chuckled and plucked one more slice from the bag before pulling the strings to close it. “See?” he said as he chewed, “I don’t bite.”_

_The young ANBU watched him carefully as his jaw moved beneath his mask. How the kid had gotten the treat into his mouth and replaced the mask so quickly was baffling to Genma, but he said nothing about it._

_“You’re name’s Kakashi, right?” Genma asked._

_Kakashi nodded._

_Genma placed the bag in a pocket of his pack and smiled at the smaller shinobi. “You’re hair is really cool.”_

_Kakashi’s eye widened and Genma was surprised to see the skin peering out from above the little ninja’s mask redden. In fact, in less than a second, most of the ANBU’s exposed skin was scarlet. Genma was instantly charmed by the younger boy’s embarrassment, and laughed heartily at Kakashi’s discomfort._

_“You’re okay kid,” Genma chuckled._

_Kakashi froze for a moment, and then disappeared into the tree line. Genma smiled at the place the boy had been a moment ago, slipped his pack over his shoulder, and moved across the camp site to his bed roll._

“I remember him being like that.” Genma chuckled. “He had a hard time taking real compliments. Really cute.”

“He’s still like that.” Iruka leaned back in his chair. “I promise. He just doesn’t run away any more like he used to… well, sort of.”

Genma sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll try, but if I start to sound like an idiot, or he starts to look at me like I have an arm growing out of my forehead…”

“He won’t,” Iruka insisted.

Genma stood. “Fine. I still think this is stupid, but fine.” 

The rest of the day progressed slowly. Genma’s eyes started to cross after eighty incomplete reports, and over one hundred reports that were filled out completely wrong. The genin Iruka had assigned to assist him turned out to be fairly decent workers, but the special jounin still had to spend over an hour explaining to them exactly _how_ they could help. Genma sent the two to a late lunch and told them they could take the rest of the day off. He appreciated the help, but he knew he would get the work done faster if he did it himself.

Deciding to go for ramen, Genma locked the office and started up the tower stairs. As lost in his thoughts as he was, he did not notice the figure behind him, following him from Records to just below the tower’s ground level. A strong chakra signature did give his attacker away however, and Genma was able to whirl and block two solid jabs before his body froze. His arms stayed immobile in front of him, and his legs were rooted to the ground. 

“What the fuck!” Genma exclaimed, disoriented and searching for his attacker hidden in shadow.

_Shadow…_

The figure surged forward, and Genma’s back hit the stone wall hard and his breath was knocked from his body. A strong fist hit the concrete beside his head, and the older man found himself still frozen, and staring up into ferocious, dark brown eyes. All one hundred and ninety pounds of Nara Shikamaru glared angrily down at him and the tokujō cringed at seeing the usually reserved ninja so emotionally out of control.

“If you don’t tell me what the hell is going on with Raidou,” Shikamaru growled, “I will fucking kill you.”

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Genma followed the fuming Shikamaru down the last flight of stairs and through the door to Torture and Interrogation. The young ninja at the desk jumped up from his seat and stared wide-eyed as both special jounin passed, and the inner gate opened to their chakra signatures.

"Um, Nara-san! Shiranui-san!" he called out. "I have to have you sign in if you're going to go into the restricted area!"

"Sign us in yourself," Shikamaru said over his shoulder. "Or you could just file a report and send it to the Hokage, he loves reports."

They turned down an adjacent hallway, and Shikamaru opened another door that unlocked automatically when introduced to his chakra. Genma took a moment to marvel at the younger man's security clearance, but those thoughts were quickly pushed from his mind when he recognized where they were.

At first glance, the skylights and artificial lighting fixtures gave the laboratory a sunny, cheerful atmosphere. Unfortunately, the ominous sound of the ventilation system and the eerie stillness of the equipment ruined the effect, and cast the space in an almost sinister atmosphere.

Shikamaru started to move between rows of test tubes and jars of unidentifiable substances before Genma could stop him.

"Woah, wait," Genma growled. "Shikamaru, wait. I didn't tell you what was going on so you could walk into biochem and break things!" He pulled on the younger man's arm, but the Nara brushed him off easily when they stepped through a patch of sunlight from the skylight. Genma felt himself fall into step behind Shikamaru as his body was at the mercy of the master shadow manipulator.

"We're looking for Kyuya," Shikamaru told a technician in a white lab coat.

"Um, sure," the man replied, "he's in the office." The tech pointed to the back where several doors stood open. "He's busy though, I don't know if he'll—"

"—He'll make time," Shikamaru said as he moved towards the back.

Genma panicked. This was not the way he had envisioned the rest of his day going. He knew he was eventually going to have to own up to his mistake, speak to Kyuya, confront Raidou, and all that, but he wasn't ready. Today was not the day he would have chosen to do it. Not tomorrow either, nor the next day.

"Shikamaru, please," he whispered frantically as his body continued to move in synch behind the Nara. "Please don't make me talk to this guy. I can't--"

"Don't worry," Shikamaru said, his voice surprisingly calmer than it had been before in the stairway. "You're not here to talk to him. I brought you along for another reason." 

Confused, Genma struggled against Shikamaru's powerful jutsu. It sucked that someone so much younger than him was so much stronger. 

When Shikamaru pushed the door to the office open he barked, "Shibuki Kyuya!" 

As the words left Shikamaru's mouth, and the figure inside the office turned, Genma felt the jutsu drop. His body was his own once again and he turned to face the ninja behind the desk.

Kyuya met his eyes, and the special jounin saw his panic. The chuunin moved from behind the desk and bolted for the opposite door.

"Better catch him, Genma-sempai," Shikamaru drawled.

Genma glanced incredulously at the younger ninja before he backed out of the office and flew between the laboratory's isles of equipment and chemicals. He crouched, spotting Kyuya's sprinting legs beneath the steel table, and made the hand signals for teleportation. He landed half a foot in front of Kyuya's feet and whirled, kicking the smaller man's legs out from under him.

Straddling Kyuya, the special jounin grabbed a hold of the researcher's collar and lifted him to his feet. He dragged the man back into the office and pushed him down into a chair against the wall. Shikamaru sat at the desk, his feet propped up by stacks of paper and files. He watched Genma with a bored expression as he picked dirt from under his nails with a letter opener.

"Damn, you are fast," the young Nara murmured in approval.

Genma glared at his friend. "Don't tell me you brought me here to do all the heavy lifting."

Shikamaru shook his head. "No, no. Well, yes, kind of." He stood and dropped the letter opener on the desk. "I just figured it'd be easier if you went after him."

"For _you_ ," Genma growled.

"Yes, that's the point." Shikamaru moved to stand in front of Kyuya, his friendly, lazy manner disappearing. "So, scumbag, let's hear it. What the fuck were you thinking setting up my friends like that?"

Kyuya glared up at Shikamaru. "I don't know what you're talk—"

Shikamaru's fist connected with Kyuya's face and the distinct sound of a nose breaking echoed through the office. Blood splattered the wall and the empty seat to Kyuya's right.

" _Shit!_ " Kyuya screamed, and his hands flew to his face. 

Genma watched with mixed feelings of awe and surprise as Shikamaru rolled his head from side to side, cracking his neck. The young Nara seemed at home in the interrogation department, and was most certainly not inexperienced in the arts of retrieving information.

"Kyuya," Shikamaru sighed. "I'm hungry and tired, and I've had a really fucking bad day. Just tell me why you did it and I'll let you go."

Kyuya moaned from behind his hands and let his head fall back against the wall. "Fucking crazy bastard! I didn't do anything! What's your problem!?"

Shikamaru hunched, as if the man's words had physically pained him. "You set up my friend here. You drugged a fellow shinobi, which resulted in compromising _my_ mission. You could have got Konoha soldiers killed. You’re lucky you don’t have the whole of TI coming down on you right now." 

Alarmed, Genma moved in close to Shikamaru and put a hand gently on the young man's shoulder. "Shikamaru," he whispered, "it was a mistake. He made a mistake, _we both_ made a mistake. If anyone should be punished—"

"Shut up, senpai," Shikamaru murmured softly, "it wasn't a mistake."

Genma released the younger man's shoulder and stepped back. What? What was Shikamaru talking about? It wasn't a mistake? Was Raidou drugged on purpose? Why? 

Shikamaru leaned in close to Kyuya and spoke softly. "Don't play games with me, Kyuya. You stink like lies. I hate liars. And I hate people that hurt my friends. Do you know what I do to people that hurt my friends?"

Kyuya shook his head slowly.

Shikamaru moved to whisper into the prisoner's ear, "I bury them."

Kyuya's eyes widened as he shied away from Shikamaru, his body folding on itself, trying to make himself smaller. Genma watched as fear crept into the young shinobi's eyes, and the tokujō's stomach tightened as he realized Shikamaru had been right about Kyuya's intentions. 

"Kyuya, do you know who I answer to?" Shikamaru asked.

"Um," Kyuya whimpered, "the Hokage?"

Shikamaru sneered at the trembling man.

"No. One. Not the Hokage, not Ibiki, not anyone. I can do whatever I want with you, _however_ I want."

Sniveling, Kyuya's hands came up in a defensive position. "Okay, okay. I-I-I'm sorry!"

Genma's anger flared at those words. He stepped forward and grabbed Kyuya's collar with both his hands. 

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" The special jounin snarled. "What the fuck, Kyuya! I thought we were friends! Are you seriously telling me you did that shit to me—to Raidou on purpose!?"

Kyuya's frightened eyes turned to Genma. "I... I..."

Shikamaru stepped back and laced his hands together behind his head. "Tell him."

Kyuya glanced from Genma to Shikamaru and back to Genma, his eyes wide with terror. "Uh... okay. He… he stopped my promotion! I was up for promotion to jounin and he told Iruka-san to hold my paperwork! I've been working my ass off for five years in this hell-hole and that asshole blocks my shit because of some stupid shit I said!"

"What'd you say?" Shikamaru asked nonchalantly.

Kyuya's eyes bounced wildly between the two elite ninja and tears started to trail down his cheeks. "I... I mentioned at a card game that I'd fucked this guy from _Catwalk_."

Genma tightened his hold. "Why would fucking a guy you met at a bar make Raidou have your paperwork blocked?"

"He..." Kyuya stammered. His body slumping as he finally succumbed to his defeat. "He turned out to be a missing nin."

Genma released the smaller man and stood straight. Shikamaru sighed and slid his hands into his pockets.

"Kyuya, you know the protocols. Everyone knows contact with missing nin, intentional or not, puts you under immediate investigation. Raidou was doing his job to protect the village."

Kyuya sniffed hard and wiped at his eyes and at the blood still running from his nose. "No. He could have just overlooked it. He didn't have to say anything; he was just being an asshole. I wanted him to pay for it, and I knew I could do it with Genma's help."

Genma's rage had reached its boiling point, and the special jounin gripped Kyuya by his arms. He lifted the smaller man and slammed him against the wall. " _You son of a bitch!_ " Genma roared. " _You fucking son of a bitch! You knew exactly what was going to happen! You used me to get to Raidou and now everything is fucked! My best friend hates me because of YOU!_ " He threw Kyuya to the floor and pulled his flack vest open, retrieving a long senbon from an inner pocket. 

Kyuya's eyes widened and he started to sob. "Hey, wait!" he turned his eyes to Shikamaru. "You said if I told you, you'd let me go!"

Shikamaru shrugged, his hand retrieving a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. He pulled one out and placed it between his lips. "I said no such thing." With that the Nara stepped out of the office and pulled the door closed behind him. 

Genma turned back to Kyuya and flipped the senbon over his fingers. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Kyuya cried, curling into a ball on the floor, his arms hiding his face. 

Genma rolled his head, cracking his neck in the same fashion Shikamaru had done minutes before. 

"No," he murmured softly. "You're not even close to sorry yet."

* * *

As Genma opened the doors to the outside, he found Shikamaru leaning against the cement wall, a cigarette smoldering between his lips. He turned his dark eyes towards Genma as the doors slammed closed and gave the older man one of his famous, unreadable looks.

"He's just paralyzed," Genma murmured. "Quick trip to the hospital, a few painful chakra points unblocked, and he'll be fine." 

Shikamaru nodded before he asked. "Feel better?"

"Not really," Genma replied, sliding next to the younger man and accepting a cigarette. "But thank you for what you did."

Shikamaru shrugged as Genma lit up. "Don't thank me yet. We're headed to Raidou's next."

Genma nodded, inhaling deeply, "I figured."

The two men stood together in silence for a few minutes, Genma trying to calm his heart, and Shikamaru staring up at the cloudy sky.

"Did he tell you?" Genma asked carefully.

Shikamaru nodded his head, "Eventually. I noticed on the mission he was under what I thought was a jutsu. Took me a few days to figure it out, but when I did..." He took a drag and blew out slowly. "I pulled him aside and got it out of him." 

Genma sighed heavily, “Shit.."

Shikamaru shrugged. "Doesn't put you in the best of light, but I've heard worse."

Genma ran a hand over his eyes, his stomach churning with embarrassment and remorse. "Shit. I can't even imagine what he must think of me."

"You'd probably be surprised." Shikamaru tilted his head towards the older man. "You gonna be okay? Talking to him, I mean?"

Genma chuckled, but without any humor. He scratched at his chin and took a drag. "Um, no, but I have to. I have to explain why it happened. Why... I did it."

Shikamaru nodded, and pulled a folded paper from his flack vest. "This is all the information on the drug you gave him. It supposedly runs through his system after a couple weeks, but he can speed up the process with certain chakra exercises."

"Thank you." Genma took the paper and regarded the younger man carefully. "Hey, Shikamaru? How are you being so cool about all this? I did a really shitty thing, and you're just…" He shrugged. "I don't know."

Shikamaru shrugged as well and pulled out another cigarette. He slipped it between his lips and pulled out his lighter. "I just. Understand... that's all."

Genma's eyes widened. "What?"

Shikamaru looked at him and plucked the cigarette from his lips. "I don't think I'd ever go to the extremes that you went to, but… I understand what it feels like to love someone, and just… want to know."

Genma blinked stupidly as the dark-haired ninja lit up and started down the steps. He watched the young Nara's broad shoulders hunch as his hands slipped back into his pockets. He looked so much like his father it made Genma's heart flutter; but at the same time, he felt sorrow at Shikamaru's confession. The younger man was in pain similar to his own. The tokujō paused to wonder who in their right mind would deny the handsome genius, but stopped when his head started to hurt.

"Hey," Shikamaru called from the road, pulling Genma from his thoughts. "You better be coming. I don't want to have to drag you."

Sighing, Genma crushed the cigarette between his fingers, pushed off the wall, and followed Shikamaru to Raidou's apartment.

* * *

Iruka closed the folder and dropped it onto the stack at the end of his desk. He watched the group of jounin leave his office, callously trailing mud and leaves all over his clean, wood floors. He sighed heavily and ran a hand over his eyes before he pushed his chair backward and opened the window.

"What do you want? You've been sitting there for almost an hour."

Kakashi lolled his head and turned his one, tired eye on the younger ninja. "I'm so lonely, Ruka. I need someone to hold me."

Iruka rolled his eyes. "God, you’re such a dork. Come inside."

Kakashi scoffed as he pulled himself over the sill. "Oh, Ruka, I keep thinking we have something special, but then you say stuff like that." The silver-haired ninja draped himself like a ragdoll over the desk as Iruka sat back in his chair. "I feel like you're slipping further and further away from me every day." 

Iruka shook his head, trying to hide a smile. "Seriously, what do you want? I have work to do."

Kakashi sat up and folded his hands in his lap. His legs swung back and forth off the edge of the desk like a child's. "I just thought I come and say hi; ask how your day's been. When's the last time you shaved your legs?"

Iruka shoved Kakashi aside and the jounin went crashing to the floor. He sat back up and shook his head of silver hair, smiling wide so his eye crinkled at the corner.

"This is 'tough love', right?" he asked with a chuckle.

"I'm ignoring you," Iruka stated, flipping through papers.

"Ah, come on Ruka." Kakashi pretended to pout and scooted on the floor to the younger man's legs. He took one of his friend's feet and carefully pulled it free of the sandal. He dug his thumbs into Iruka's heel and rubbed small circles into the muscled flesh. "You love my little visits."

Iruka groaned as tension eased and he felt chakra finally flowing freely through his lower leg. "Usually, yes, I do. But I'm extraordinarily busy today with all the reports coming in."

"Aw," Kakashi crossed his legs, getting comfortable. "You need any help?"

Iruka shook his head. "No, I called some people in today to help." 

"Oh yeah?" Kakashi asked nonchalantly. "Like who?"

Iruka hid another smile beneath a cough, and shrugged. He knew Kakashi was fishing, and he would play right along since the jounin was too much of a wuss to just ask straight out.

"Oh, a couple genin from B class, that new chuunin, Shinoda… a couple others." He waited a beat to mentally chuckle as he felt Kakashi's interest peak and his chakra become almost too impatient to handle.

"Oh, and Genma, I summoned him last night."

Kakashi's control snapped and Iruka actually felt the jounin's breath catch. But the older man covered it well by switching to the other foot, pulling the sandal off, and beginning another slow massage.

"Genma huh? That's good. I heard he was holed up in his apartment for a few days.” Iruka actually felt how physically painful it was for Kakashi to wait a few quick moments before asking. “How's he doing?" He obviously didn’t want to seem too eager…

"He's all right,” Iruka fought against a laugh that threatened to burst from his lungs. “But you know, you could just ask him yourself. Why don't you go see him?"

"I... uh..." Kakashi mumbled under his breath. "I don't know."

"He'd probably be really happy to see you," Iruka continued coyly. 

Kakashi looked up. "You think so?"

Iruka turned back to his paperwork, pretending to think nothing of their conversation. "Or whatever. He's going out with everybody this weekend. You could just wait and see him then."

Kakashi nodded and slowly returned to his massage, although his fingers seemed less attentive than they were a moment ago. When Iruka glanced out the corner of his eye, he saw the jounin staring at the floor with a faraway look in his eye.

"You're coming this weekend, aren't you Kakashi?" he asked.

"Um..." Kakashi turned back to Iruka, his eye blinking. "Of course, wouldn't miss it for the world. Besides, I can't miss another night of you half-dressed and dancing on the bar again. I have to be there to keep the perverts off you."

Iruka rolled his eyes before he kicked his friend and sent him flying across the office.

* * *

"I can't do this." Genma dug his heels into the ground as Shikamaru pulled him towards Raidou's doorstep.

"Yes, you can," the Nara insisted.

"No. No really I can't." Genma felt tears well up in his eyes as cold dread and paralyzing fear gripped his heart. "He hates me. I can't face him. Don't—please, please don't make me—"

Terror washed over Genma and he froze as the front door opened and Raidou moved out onto the porch. His face was pale, and dark circles hung beneath his eyes.

"Gen?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

Genma clenched his jaw, desperately trying to pull away from Shikamaru's iron grip. But then he realized that his feet were trapped in another shadow jutsu, so his struggling was completely futile. He felt his stomach lurch, and he stopped moving, swallowing hard to try and keep himself from throwing up.

"Gen..." Raidou murmured again softly as he descended the steps. 

Panicking, Genma braced himself for whatever Raidou had planned for him. He closed his eyes tight and waited for the blow, the cuff to the face, the gut punch. Whatever it was going to be, he knew he deserved it, so he waited and planned on taking it like a man.

"Genma, look at me," Raidou said softly.

He felt a warm hand on the top of his head, and he opened his eyes to find Raidou watching his face expectantly. He looked into his oldest friend's eyes and saw nothing but nervousness and uncertainty looking back at him. His heart broke in that instant, and he felt his anguish spill from his eyes in a flood of tears.

"R-Raidou, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he cried.

Raidou hesitantly pulled him close, resting his forehead against his friend's. "I know…” he murmured softly. “I know you are…” 

Genma tried to speak, tried to explain or at least begin to tell his best friend everything that had been thinking the last week. He wanted to explain everything and drop the heavy burden he had been carrying, let go of everything that had been plaguing his mind, keeping him up at night; but he was overcome with his remorse and unable to speak as his sobs overtook him.

“Genma…” Raidou’s voice sounded almost as anguished as his own, and he almost collapsed as his friend’s arms came around him. 

“You…” he choked out as he gently pushed back to look at his friend in the eyes. “You’re still drugged, aren’t you? This is you comforting me because I want it… it’s it?” 

Shikamaru flicked his lighter on and off as he leaned against one of the porch posts. "He is still a under the effects of the drug, but it’s not as bad as before.”

Raidou nodded. “I can tell now when my feelings are mine, or when they’re someone else’s.”

“There’s no way,” Genma shook his head. “There’s no way you’re okay with me. You’ve got to be under worse than you actually realize. You’re affected by my guilt, and you’re--”

“No.” Raidou gripped Genma’s arms and shook him gently. “This is real. I know it’s real. I worried about you the whole time we were gone on the mission, and I would have summoned you this last week, but I knew you wouldn’t come.” The scarred ninja lessened his grip and slowly slid his hands from Genma’s arms. He folded his own over his chest and stood hunched and unsure before his friend. “If I feel like this when you’re not around… then it has to be real.”

Genma tried to hold back his tears. He tried to be brave like his friend, but he couldn’t. His emotions were in shambles, and he was exhausted from his self-inflicted wounds. “Why…” he cried softly. “Why would you worry about me?”

Raidou moved closer and spoke softly into Genma’s ear. “I asked you before… Did I hurt you? There was…” Raidou glanced behind at Shikamaru, but the younger man was sitting on the porch railing, staring at the clouds, oblivious to their conversation.

Turning back to Genma, Raidou’s cheeks and neck turned scarlet as he continued in a hushed whisper. “There was blood on my sheets… I didn’t know if…”

Genma made a noise that was part laugh and part sob. He leaned in and knocked his forehead against Raidou’s, like they had done when they were children.

“It’s normal, Rai,” Genma whispered. “I’m okay. Please don’t worry about that… don’t think about that…” 

Raidou nodded slowly, turning back to Shikamaru. “We’ll be okay, Shikamaru. You don’t have to stay.”

Shikamaru shrugged, not looking at either one of them. “I’ll chill out here for a while. I got nothing else to do.”

Raidou opened the door to his apartment and motioned for Genma to come inside. “Okay, thank you.”

Shikamaru made a motion with his hand that could have been considered a wave, or perhaps a salute, and Genma followed Raidou inside.

* * *

Shikamaru sighed as the door closed behind his comrades. He tapped the white of his cigarette, spilling ashes into the wind, and gazed across the street into the park. He watched a few children play; a mother sitting on a bench half reading a book; a dog sitting by a trash can watching a young boy with a stick of dango. He felt the gentle breeze on his face, and the warm sun warming the top of his head.

On a regular day, all these things would sooth him. On a regular day, the children playing, laughing merrily and screaming in delight would bring him peace. The mother, pretending to read, but was actually watching her son in his fascination with a frog by the pond, would warm his heart. The look in the dog’s eye as he licked his chops and waited for his moment to move in on the dango would make him smile, maybe even laugh…

But not this day. Today was a dark day, and nothing could brighten it. Not the brilliant sun or the gentle whisper of the wind. Not his faithful clouds rolling slowly across the beautiful, blue sky… Not even the presence of Hatake Kakashi as he sat on the wooden overhang above the porch.

Shikamaru sighed and tapped his ashes again.

“What are you doing here?” he asked the jounin sitting above him.

Kakashi’s head of fanatical, silver hair appeared as the older man hung upside down off the edge of the overhang.

“How did you know I was here?” Kakashi asked, amazed. “I think you and Sasuke are the only ones that can do that.”

Shikamaru shrugged. “The smell of Freak is strong on my nose.”

Kakashi’s one eye widened, “Really?”

“No.” 

“Aw...” Kakashi flipped and landed on the railing beside his friend. “I was getting all excited.”

“You would,” Shikamaru muttered and took a drag. “Seriously, what are you doing here?”

Kakashi shrugged and looked up at the sky. “Oh, I was just headed—”

“Don’t lie,” Shikamaru interrupted before the Copy Nin could get going. “You know I hate it when you lie to me, it’s insulting. I’m smart enough to know when you’re pulling my fucking chain.”

Kakashi grinned beneath the mask and leaned toward his genius comrade. “Oh, but Shikamaru, your chain is so fun to pull on.”

Shikamaru turned his cigarette in his fingers and moved to crush it out on Kakashi’s flack vest. Kakashi blocked and sent the burning cherry flying with a flick of his fingers.

If one had blinked, they would have missed the entire thing.

“What’s with everyone wanting to burn me and hit me and kick me across rooms today?” Kakashi whined.

“People want to do that every day,” Shikamaru replied. 

“You’re so mean.”

“I know.” 

“Do you think they’re okay in there?” Kakashi asked suddenly, no small amount of worry laced into his words.

Shikamaru shrugged again and wondered why Kakashi was taking an extra interest in Genma and Raidou’s affairs. “I think they’ll be fine… eventually. I think once this drug wears off Raidou, he’s going to be too embarrassed to talk to Genma for a long time. And Genma…” Shikamaru shook his head. “He’s got a long way to go.”

Kakashi nodded, staring at the ground. A few minutes passed quietly, and Shikamaru watched as the boy with the dango finally succumbed to the big brown eyes and gave the last of his treat to the dog by the trash can. The young special jounin scratched at his chin and sighed again softly.

“What’s up?” Kakashi asked.

Shikamaru shook his head. “Nothing, I’m just tired and sore from the mission.”

Kakashi raised his hand and poked Shikamaru’s shoulder with his index finger, none to gently. “Don’t lie. You know I hate it when you lie to me. It’s insulting and I’m smart enough to know when you’re pulling my chain.”

Shikamaru chuckled. There was little humor in it, but Kakashi had always been able to make him smile, even when he was on a down day. He turned to the older man and looked at him for a moment before he rolled his eyes. Why not? He pulled his pack from his pocket and slipped another cigarette between his lips.

“Hyuuga Neji is what’s up.”

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Genma sat cross legged on the floor of Raidou’s living room. For the last few years, since Raidou had moved in, Genma had always sat on the couch—the left side to be exact. But he couldn’t bring himself to do something that familiar and normal. He insisted on sitting on the floor, and Raidou agreed, somewhat hesitantly.

Now, he looked over at the brown leather of that love-worn sofa, thinking of happy times of parties and movie nights. The weekend Raidou and him had wrestled and torn a hole down the middle cushion and had patched it back together with a belt. The time they had smelled vomit for a week and, after washing every part of the sofa twice, had eventually found that somehow Kotetsu had thrown up _behind_ where they sat. 

Raidou returned from the kitchen, and handed Genma a steaming cup of tea. He sat directly in front of his friend so that their knees touched. He held his own cup in his hands and closed his eyes. This was standard seated position for the two of them. It had been since they were kids. They both had thought the phrase ‘put your heads together’ meant exactly that, and so when they sat together to solve a problem, they literally leaned in and touched foreheads. When someone had called them out about it years later, it had been so funny, that both Genma and Raidou had decided it was going to be a ritual forever.

Genma sat now, watching his friend fight with the effects of the drug. He could feel the larger man’s fatigue and the strain it was putting on his body, so Genma worked on calming himself. He stared down into his cup, watching the tiny bits of leaves and spice swirl to the bottom, because he couldn’t stand to look into Raidou’s expectant face any longer.

Carefully, as if the very act of speaking would shatter his control, Raidou murmured. “How… um… How long?”

Genma took a sip, just to give his hands something to do. “How long, what?”

Raidou held his breath for a moment, but then he fumbled with his words. “How long have you… had feelings for me?”

Genma sighed. “Uh… you remember when I came to see you in the hospital after…” Genma made a careless motion, pointing to his cheek.

Raidou nodded, lifting his own hand to the scar decorating the left side of his face.

“You uh…” Genma continued, still staring into his cup. “They had told me what happened, and what it had done to you before I went in, and I had prepared this big speech…” he finally looked up and met Raidou’s eyes. His friend watched him expectantly, listening to the part of this story he had never heard.

“When I came in, your face was so bandaged I thought it was worse than it was, and… my resolve kind of faltered.” Genma’s voice softened as he remembered that fateful day. “But, when you saw me… you smiled. You actually fucking smiled and said, ‘Hey, Gen, you think this scar’s gonna be a hit with the ladies?’…”

Raidou scoffed, his mouth turning up at the corners. “I said that? Really?”

Genma nodded. “You were so brave about it, braver than I could have ever been if it had been me. And just… that moment…” Genma’s gaze returned to his lap, his embarrassment burning on his cheeks.

“God, Genma…” Raidou breathed. “That’s been… that’s almost twenty years…”

Genma nodded again, positive that if he spoke, he would cry like a little girl.

Raidou shifted, setting his cup on the floor beside him. “Gen, I want you to know something.”

Genma ran a hand over his face, not sure how he should take that, “Hm?”

“I uh…” Raidou stammered. “When you weren’t around, and I could think for myself… I worried for you and everything, but you have to know, I was also really… really embarrassed. I mean, I remember everything, and when I think about it… I can’t believe I said some of the stuff I said, and—”

“It’s okay, Rai,” Genma interrupted, “I understand.”

Raidou nodded and continued. “Anyway, I was embarrassed enough so that when the drug wears off, it’s going to be really hard to approach you or talk to you.”

Genma was horrified to find his eyes filling with tears. “So… what are you saying?”

“I’m saying don’t let that happen!” Raidou said. “Don’t let me! We’ve been friends our entire lives, and I don’t want this one thing to change that.”

“’This one thing’ is kind of a Big Thing though,” Genma murmured.

Raidou sighed. “Yeah, I know. I’ll probably be mad for a while, but not forever. Just give me some time, and then… don’t avoid me, and don’t let me distance myself just because I’m embarrassed… okay?”

Genma wanted to hide as the tears trickled down his cheeks. He would never have thought he was so incapable of controlling his emotions, but they flowed freely, and there was no stopping them. “Uh… okay,” he stammered.

“Promise?”

Genma covered his eyes and nodded, his shame slowly giving away to relief; his feelings for Raidou crushing his heart as the weight on his shoulders was lessened.

“I promise.”

Raidou took the cup from his hands as another powerful wave of emotion took hold of Genma, and his body shook with quiet sobs.

“It’s okay, Gen… don’t cry… Don’t cry…”

* * *

Kakashi waved as Shikamaru hopped down from the roof and started down the street, his lanky body silhouetted by the light of the sunset. The jounin sighed and reclined on the tiles, the younger man’s words still ringing in his ears.

_“So, are you worried they might make up?”_

_Kakashi looked at Shikamaru incredulously. “Excuse me? That’s a good thing. Why would I be worried about that?”_

_Shikamaru shrugged and turned back to gazing at the clouds above them. “Just wondering.”_

Kakashi wasn’t worried, not really. He wanted Genma to make up with his best friend, because this whole thing was killing both of them. The sooner they got past this, the sooner Genma would go back to being badass special jounin that could totally kick your ass, but so cool and sexy you could look past potential injury and consider tearing his clothes off in the middle of the street.

…well, that might just be his own personal feelings towards Genma, but whatever.

Kakashi rolled to his side, resting his head on his arm. Genma had been inside for almost an hour and a half, which was a good sign. The Copy Ninja was sure he wasn’t dead, so that meant they were at least talking, and there had been no distinct sounds of a battle—no shattering glass, and no crashes of furniture being thrown across the apartment. So, in conclusion, it was safe to assume things were going well. Or at least they weren’t going badly.

The front door opened beneath him, and Kakashi held his breath and reigned in his chakra. Not that it really mattered, Genma was so distracted, Kakashi could have been banging pots together over the side of the overhang and the tokujō still would not have noticed him. He slipped across the roof and peered over the edge, watching his friend make his way down the street, shoulders slumped and tread heavy.

Kakashi took a deep breath and slid off the roof.

* * *

Genma pulled a brand new pack of cigarettes from his flack vest and slammed it against his palm a few times. He made his way down the street, watching darkness slowly cover buildings like a protective blanket. The way back to his apartment held few street shops and even fewer street lights. Soon the sun would be completely behind the mountains and he could walk the streets in the fresh air, hide in the open under that protective layer of darkness.

As he slipped a cigarette between his lips and searched for his lighter, small droplets of rain fell across his cheeks and tickled the tops of his hands. He looked up at the sky, cursing under his breath at his luck, and moved to stand under a closed vendor’s overhang. The special jounin stood for a few minutes with his hands in his pockets; unlit cigarette still between his lips.

His talk with Raidou had left him a little numb. The worst of his anxiety had dissipated with Raidou’s assurance that they would remain friends, but his shame and his remorse at what he had done was still strong and ate at his heart like a poison. He knew he would always be ashamed of his actions towards his best friend. It would always be in the back of his mind and he knew he would have to live with the memory of his foolish deed and there were no words in this world that could relieve him of that burden. Yes, Raidou had forgiven him for the most part, and yes, he was aware that the repercussions of the entire incident had been much more appalling because of outside forces like Kyuya… but it still didn’t change that fact that Genma had broken trust.

His stomach hurt. His chest was tight. He felt like he was going to cry again, but he wasn’t sure if he had any more tears left. He pulled the lighter out of his pocket and thumbed the flint. Three tries… four… still no flame. Frustration piled on top of frustration and he threw the lighter violently on the ground. He pulled the cigarette from his mouth and replaced it with a senbon. He teased the end, breaking the sensitive skin on the tip his tongue, and concentrated on the sharp pain and acrid taste of blood that filled his mouth.

He felt very alone. Not just alone out on the street at night in the rain, but _alone_ , like there was no one in the world he could talk to. Like there was no one in the world that would understand what he was going through. He was the bad guy after all. Who would side with him?

Familiar chakra met his own and caressed his rough and tired edges. Immediately Genma’s body started to relax and he felt the tightness in his chest ease. He turned to face his visitor and felt ludicrous as relief hit him so hard he felt dizzy.

“I would say you look like hell,” a smooth voice drawled, “but hell is all fire and brimstone. You look more like unhappy, damp kitty.”

Kakashi ducked under the overhang, and Genma had to hold himself back from launching himself at his friend. He hadn’t realized it until this moment, but in the last week since they had shared that unbelievable night together, Genma had missed the Copy Ninja immensely. He wanted to throw his arms around Kakashi and thank him for being there. Genma knew his friend well enough to know that Kakashi never showed up anywhere by accident. He was here for Genma now and the tokujō felt his heart sing with gratitude.

“I _am_ unhappy, damp kitty,” Genma replied. “My lighter’s out and I want a smoke.”

Kakashi shrugged, “Aren’t you a ninja? Fire spells are pretty rudimentary I hear.”

Genma made a face, “I’m standing in the middle of a dry goods stand.”

Kakashi nodded, moving closer and pulling the pack from Genma’s pocket. “I’ll light it for you. Stop stabbing your tongue, it’s weird.”

Genma sucked on the blood on his teeth in defiance, “You’re weird.”

“At least you don’t do it with the poisoned ones anymore.” Kakashi pulled out a cigarette and handed it to his friend. “Although I have to admit that was very entertaining.”

Genma took the smoke with a small smile and switched out the senbon. Kakashi was right. Pricking himself with the senbon was strange, and only the first in his long list of masochistic tendencies.

He leaned in to touch the end of the stick to Kakashi’s small flame and breathed in deep. The smoke filled his lungs, and the quiet buzz from the nicotine starting to hum in his veins. “Thank you,” he murmured, straightening. He hid a smile behind another drag and decided to play one of Kakashi’s favorite cards: oblivious.

“Where are you off to?” he asked innocently.

Kakashi shrugged, retaliating with another favorite: nonchalance. “Ah, just out for a walk. Turns out there’s this shop around here that sells real lifelike lawn gnomes. I don’t have the exact address, but I know it’s on this street. I was just gonna check it out.”

Genma’s smile widened. “Oh, that’s nice. Redoing the yard?”

“Uh, Sasuke is, actually,” Kakashi replied. “He’s got a thing for little Blondies that like to wear bright colors.”

Genma chuckled and took another long drag. The two of them stood for a few minutes in comfortable silence, watching the rain fall; but even if Kakashi’s presence had lifted his spirit at first, Genma’s mood started to slip as he was left to his own thoughts.

He wiped at his tired eyes with the back of his hand, the last half of his second cigarette smoldering between his fingers.

Kakashi’s breath was against his ear as he spoke. “Hey, you’re shaking…”

Genma chuckled again, but this time it held no humor. “Am I?”

The younger man’s body heat warmed Genma’s side, and the tokujō suddenly ached for as much of that warmth as Kakashi was willing give.

“Talk to me,” Kakashi’s words were gentle, but there was no mistaking the command.

Genma crushed the butt of his smoke between his fingers and turned to face his friend. 

“You want a drink?

* * *

On this second visit to Genma’s apartment, Kakashi took the time to take a tour. He admired his friend’s taste in art, his functional yet stylish furnishings, and after he had removed the wraps from his feet and legs, wondered more than once where the tokujō had purchased such an awesome carpet. The dark grey shag felt so good on the soles of his feet and between his toes.

However, when Genma stepped out of the shower in nothing but loose sweatpants, Kakashi lost interest in carpets and oil paintings. The special jounin’s torso seemed to go on forever. Defined lines of muscle rippled and flexed beneath that expanse of tanned skin as Genma dried his hair and threw the towel on the counter. The sweat pants hung low to show off his sharp hips and the deepest, most tantalizing V-cut _ever_. Then the Copy Ninja’s mouth went dry as the tokujō turned away from him, exposing the long column of his back. There was something about a man’s back that made Kakashi want to push him to the ground and roll in him.

Kakashi’s first thought as Genma turned was that the special jounin’s back muscles had muscles. He felt himself salivating as the older man reached for sake and a glass from a top shelf. Years of training and hard work had molded Genma’s body into a solid, yet lean package. The power Kakashi saw beneath the man’s skin was just as attractive as his handsome face or his kind, sincere smile—maybe even more so. It was like watching an exotic and dangerous cat as it lazed and stretched over a large sun-smeared rock.

Kakashi wanted to move into the kitchen, to reach out and run his fingers over shoulder blades that were a canvas of thick, ridged scars, but he stayed put. No need to totally blow his image of self-control and awesomeness. Besides, it was nice just to look sometimes, and the Copy Nin especially liked to look at scars. Scars, to him, were not marring or unappealing in any way. Scars were marks of who you were and where you came from; mistakes that you learned from, memories that you cherished because they defined you.

“You’re quiet all of a sudden,” Genma said over his shoulder, pulling Kakashi from his thoughts.

“Just,” Kakashi licked his lips, “appreciating the view.”

“Mm,” Genma hummed as he filled a glass and tossed it back, “I’ll allow it.”

Kakashi leaned against the doorframe, watching Genma through the darkness of the kitchen. For some reason when they had entered the apartment, the special jounin had insisted they keep the lights off. Kakashi had excellent night vision, but having the only illumination coming from the partially closed bathroom door and the sliver of moon from the window was a little strange.

The silver-haired ninja shoved his hands in his pockets. “So… we gonna talk about it now?”

Genma turned to him, setting the empty glass on the counter. He seemed to mull something over in his head for a moment before he moved across the tiles to meet the younger man at the threshold.

“No,” he said. His voice was soft and low, sending shivers across Kakashi’s skin. “We can talk later.”

With that, Genma hooked his thumbs into the top of his pants and slowly slid the fabric down his hips. Kakashi started at the other man’s forwardness, but said nothing. He watched with open interest as the pants fell and pooled on the floor around the older man’s feet. The Copy Nin took a breath as he let his eyes wander over the body that had haunted him for the last week.

Genma put a hand on Kakashi’s chest and pushed him off the doorframe and into the living room. He was not violent, it was merely a gentle shove, but there was an urgency to it that had Kakashi obeying without question. The special jounin backed him up to the couch and pushed so that Kakashi fell to a seated position on the cushions. The younger man’s heart started to hammer as Genma stood over him, naked, and his skin bathed in the silver glow of the moonlight.

“Hitai-ate,” Genma’s voice was husky.

“Uh,” Kakashi almost choked, “what?”

Genma held out a hand, palm up. “Give it to me.”

Kakashi almost laughed out loud at himself. _Oh, duh._ He pulled his forehead protector from his head and handed it to the other man.

Genma took it and untied the knot. “Take off your flack vest.”

Kakashi obeyed, a smirk pulling at the edges of his mouth. He had liked the vulnerable Genma; the Genma that had needed him so much that he had cried and whimpered like a virgin against his throat. But this was better. Kakashi liked to be pushed around. He liked being told what to do. The Genma last week had been hot as hell, but this… This dominant, calculating, sex god was the way Kakashi had always imagined Genma being.

Tossing the flack vest on the floor Kakashi removed the long-sleeved portion of his uniform top. Genma moved into his lap, settling his knees into the cushions on both sides of Kakashi’s hips. The tokujō rested his hands on the back of the couch and leaned in close, his eyes were dark and hungry as they searched Kakashi's.

The Copy Ninja’s heart sped up when he wondered if Genma was meaning to kiss him through the mask. It had only happened a few times, but for some reason it was just another one of those things that really turned him on.

Genma did not kiss him. Instead, he pressed his body in close, grinding up against Kakashi’s stomach. The jounin felt the Genma’s erection pressing against him and he groaned appreciatively.

“Who’s seen it?” Genma asked softly.

Kakashi grinned underneath the mask, “What? My dick?”

“No,” Genma rolled his eyes, “Your face. Who’s seen your face?”

“Oh, well, you have,” Kakashi offered.

Genma shook his head. “I don’t remember. I was just a kid, I didn't know you yet.”

“Hmm…” Kakashi pretended to think as Genma moved again, his toned ass grinding perfectly over Kakashi’s own arousal. “A few people.”

Genma moved in close and breathed across Kakashi’s brow. “Will I ever get to see it again?”

Kakashi shrugged and pulled his gloves off. He slid his hands over Genma’s smooth hips. “Do you want to see it?”

“Yes.”

Kakashi was fascinated by Genma’s forthcoming. No one had ever been this honest and open with him so quickly. Granted he and Genma had been friends for a long time, but this turn in their relationship was new. Their second time together and Genma was already asking for things that most never attempted.

It made Kakashi crave the tokujō even more.

Pulling the older man roughly against him, Kakashi pushed under Genma’s chin and kissed his throat through the mask. The special jounin tilted his head back and let out a quiet sigh.

“I don’t think anyone has ever actually asked before…” Kakashi whispered.

“Oh?” Genma’s breath was quickening. “Maybe they were afraid you’d kill them.”

Kakashi’s hands moved to caress the insides of Genma’s thighs. “Naw, I wouldn’t kill them. Hell, I might have even shown some of them, just for having the balls to ask.”

Genma pushed away and looked down again into Kakashi’s eyes.

“So wait. You’re saying that if someone wanted to see your face, they just had to ask?”

Kakashi almost giggled. He liked this game.

“Maybe not just _anyone_ ‘someone’, but for a _sexy special jounin who’s really hot when he’s aggressive_ someone, I might.”

Kakashi held his breath, waiting to see what Genma would do. The moment stretched on for a long time, the heat and the promise of sex starting to sing in the air. Genma hung above Kakashi, his eyes burning intensely; but just as Kakashi was sure Genma was going to open his mouth and let the words out, the tokujō pulled away with a playful smile on his lips. 

“Not yet,” he chuckled as he covered his eyes with the hitai-ate and tied the knot behind his head. “I'll ask when it feels right.”

Kakashi had no time to respond. Genma's hands were on his face, and his fingers were pulling down his mask. The special jounin's lips met his own and Kakashi no longer needed, or even wanted, to think about anything anymore. He followed Genma's lead, raising his arms when the older man pulled at his undershirt. He unbuttoned his pants, and lifted his hips to push the uniform down just enough to free himself.

Genma's hands were in his hair, fingers running through the thick, silver strands. The special jounin gently pulled Kakashi's head back and kissed up the younger man's neck. His teeth bit down on the sensitive flesh just beneath Kakashi's jaw, and the Copy Ninja found himself moaning from deep in his throat.

“Don't suppose you have lube out here?” Kakashi asked breathlessly.

Genma straightened and leaned to the side. He opened a drawer in the lamp stand and straightened once again, pointing to the drawer's contents.

“Somewhere in there, there should be some lotion or hand cream.”

Kakashi chuckled and leaned over to search the drawer. Genma made his efforts extra difficult by continuing to kiss and bite as his neck as he looked, but luckily, Kakashi had just enough of his head left to locate the small tube and return the two of them to their upright position. The lotion was cool on his fingers and smelled of almonds.

“It's almost like you planned this,” Kakashi said between the older man's kisses.

“I did,” Genma replied as he raised himself up on his knees.

Kakashi faltered as he slid his hands between Genma's legs. “R-really?”

“Yes...” Genma sighed as the Copy Nin's fingers teased his entrance. “I didn't know if you'd ever be coming back for that... but I wanted to be prepared.”

Kakashi made a sound that was a strange hybrid of a laugh and a groan as Genma rolled his hips, effectively pressing his swollen erection into the Copy Nin's palm. “So you planted lotion all over your house so you could seduce me and get me to fuck you wherever you pleased?”

Genma's smile widened, and he chuckled playfully against Kakashi's mouth. “Well, I actually was planning on doing the fucking, but then I... ah...” Genma's back arched and his hands slid up Kakashi's chest as the Copy Ninja slipped his fingers inside him. He rocked his hips, meeting the younger man's gentle strokes, his hands returning to Kakashi's hair and tightening their hold. “Ah... then I remembered how good you fucked me last time and I changed my mind.”

The thought of being taken by Genma, tremendously appealing as it was, was pushed aside as Kakashi's ego made a second attempt in less than two weeks to break out Genma's apartment windows. He wanted to say something witty in response to Genma's praise, but he found he had forgotten how to speak. Instead, he pulled his fingers from the older man, took his arousal in his hands and pressed up into Genma's ready and accepting body.

“ _Aahhh…_ ” Genma's hands went to the back of the couch. He pressed down on Kakashi, pushing the younger man fully inside and immediately raising up again. His head fell back, and Kakashi took the opportunity to feast on the special jounin's throat. His hands went to Genma's hips, no doubt leaving bruises as the older man moved over him. He flexed up as Genma came down hard, their pace much faster than it had been the first time. Kakashi almost cried out as Genma used his arms as extra leverage on the back of the couch and came in closer and tighter against his body. The angle that Kakashi drove into the tokujō changed and he felt himself losing his grip much faster than he was used to.

“Ah…” Kakashi gasped against Genma’s neck. “Have I told you you’re sexy as hell today?”

Another playful smile pulled at the corners of Genma’s mouth, but he did not answer as he wrapped his arms around Kakashi’s neck. The silver-haired nin grunted and his eyes fell closed as Genma started coming down even harder. He slid his hands from the older man’s hips, up his back, and pulled on the damp ends of his friend’s dirty-blond hair. Genma growled as the Copy Nin pulled his head back, but his protests ceased when Kakashi returned to his throat; leaving open-mouthed kisses on his hot skin still wet from the shower.

“Oh, God…” Genma panted as he slid an arm from around Kakashi’s neck. He wrapped his hand around his arousal and pumped furiously, his thrusts losing their rhythm. 

Kakashi took the opportunity to flip them to the side, pressing Genma on his back into the cushions. The special jounin reached above his head with one hand and gripped the arm rest. The other moved over his member as he splashed thin ropes of cum across his chest. Kakashi bore down, having missed Genma’s orgasm the first time, the display of the tokujō arching and cumming beneath him now was overwhelming. 

When Genma’s body lost its tension and his knees came up to hold tightly to Kakashi’s sides, the Copy Nin rose up to brace himself on his hands. He watched the special jounin’s tongue run across his bottom lip, and a thought crossed his mind of how earth-shattering it would be to do this someday and look into Genma’s eyes. He shuddered uncontrollably as the image sent him over the edge and he was lost. His vision blurred and he curled in, crying out softly against the other man’s sweaty chest. He thrust hard, emptying himself into Genma’s body, and collapsed. 

“Shit…” Genma whispered breathlessly as Kakashi’s mind came back to him. “Oh shit…”

Kakashi lifted his head and clumsily pushed his nose underneath Genma’s chin. “Oh shit good? Or oh shit bad?”

“Good…” Genma sighed, “Really fucking good…”

Gently, Kakashi extricated himself from Genma’s hold and pulled his pants up. As he buttoned the top, he located his undershirt and scooped it off the ground. He slipped it over his head and sat back on the cushions. He turned and chuckled at the sight of a very disheveled and patiently waiting Genma sitting beside him. 

“What?” Genma asked, pushing a finger up underneath his make-shift blindfold to scratch his forehead.

Kakashi shook his head. “Nothing...” He leaned in and kissed the older man on the lips. “I was just thinking there’s probably nothing you could do where you wouldn’t look like a porn star.”

Genma’s eyebrows were cocked in feigned annoyance as Kakashi pulled the hitai-ate from his head and ran fingers through his tousled hair. “I’m not sure if that’s a complement or not.”

“From me it definitely is,” Kakashi assured.

Genma shook his head and ran a palm over his chest and stomach. He made a face, “I need a tissue.”

“Forget a tissue, your couch needs a quick scrub,” Kakashi added as he stood. He held out a hand for his friend, and pulled him to his feet.

Genma sighed, “Meh, it’s seen worse.”

Kakashi’s ears perked up at the possibilities of that statement, “Really?” He followed Genma as he retrieved his pants from the kitchen and made his way down the hall. “Like, what kind of worse?”

Genma shook his head again. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Oh yes it is!” Kakashi exclaimed. “The sexual escapades of The One True Sex God Genma are a mystery to many jounin!” He moved around to cut Genma off before he stepped into the bathroom. The Copy Nin blocked the way with his arms, and knew that if he had possessed a tail it would be wagging his entire body right now. 

“Inquiring minds want to know.”

Genma smirked, putting his hands on his hips and tilting his head to the side in a way that made Kakashi consider taking him right back to the couch. “It’s really not a big deal. Remember when Kotetsu and Izumo had that terrible fight a few years back?”

Kakashi nodded.

“Well, I invited them over and I made them talk it out. Which was a process that involved a lot of alcohol and maybe a couple blow jobs… and maybe some double penetration.”

“…Oh…” Kakashi’s eyebrows were up somewhere in his hairline, and his jaw was hanging open like some sort of giant fish. Not to mention his dick was hard as a rock. “On the couch? Out there?”

Scratching the back of his head, Genma nodded sheepishly, “Yeah. I hadn’t really meant for it to go like that, but I had factored it in as a possibility. And it worked, obviously, since they’re still together.”

Kakashi folded his arms loosely over his chest and leaned in towards his friend. His arousal was thick and obvious in his form and also in the air around them.

“So they did it to you? Or you and Kotetsu did it to Izumo? Or…”

Genma rolled his eyes again, “Izumo. We did it to Izumo. And now I’m embarrassed so you should tell me something, some sexy story or some sexy tidbit about something. It’s only fair.”

Scratching at his chin, Kakashi let a small smile pull at the corners of his mouth.

“Well, since you were so kind as to share your sexy secret, I’ll give you my best.”

Nodding, Genma’s eyes may have flashed a little brighter.

Slipping his hands into his pockets, Kakashi leaned in close and whispered against Genma’s cheek.

“Shikamaru fucks me slow and hard, usually while I’m tied down with his shadow ability. And when he comes, he _bites_.”

He felt Genma shiver, and when he pulled away, the tokujō had closed his eyes.

“Okay,” he whispered, “you win. I can’t… wow, really?” He opened his eyes, “Shikamaru?”

Kakashi just grinned and shrugged his shoulders. “He made the first move, and I notoriously have no self-control.”

“Damn…” Genma put his hands on his hips. “That’s just… wow that’s hot.”

Kakashi clapped his hands together. “Yes it is. Now, do you need a minute? Or you want to come back out to that couch with me. I can make a clone if you want, recreate a little of that double penetration action you were talking—”

Laughing, Genma slammed the door in his face.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

The rest of the week, when Genma wasn’t up to his eyeballs in playing catch up with TI’s paperwork, he visited the training grounds. Kakashi however, broke up the monotony by meeting him on Thursday for a late lunch and Friday for dinner. They had planned on trying out the new soba place that had opened close to the academy, but when they arrived at the establishment, the wait time was so long, the two jounin decided to try their luck somewhere else. Kakashi offered to cook if Genma provided the kitchen, so Genma accepted. After all, the Copy Ninja had always proved himself equally skilled in the kitchen as he was in the field. Afterward, Genma fell asleep on his couch, stuffed so full of fantastic food he felt he would burst.

He woke when a soft blanket was pulled over him, and he opened his eyes to see Kakashi pulling on his flack vest. “Going home?” he asked.

Kakashi turned to him and nodded. “Info drop tomorrow, early.”

Genma sighed and turned onto his side. He smiled up at his friend. “You know you can stay. My bed is big.”

Kakashi chuckled and crouched down beside the tokujo. He used one finger to brush a strand of hair from Genma’s eyes. “I’d like to, but I really have to be at the rendezvous before even God wakes up.”

Genma snorted, but nodded in understanding. “How is that new job going anyway?”

Kakashi shrugged. “It’s… different. Training ANBU is, in a lot of ways, easier than training genin… but of course, I don’t have to tell you that.”

“Eh,” Genma shook his head, “I never trained genin.” 

“True,” Kakashi scratched his head. “It kind of sucks, don’t do it.”

Genma scoffed into the blanket. “Yeah, don’t tell me you didn’t love it. I see right through you.”

Kakashi shrugged again sheepishly and sat back on his heels. “Yeah, well, anyway, I have a full day tomorrow. Naruto’s coming over this weekend and I don’t have any porn lying out.”

Genma gasped in feigned horror, “Oh no!”

“My reputation is at stake.” Kakashi suddenly leered and whispered softly. ”But you know what? The best part is most of it’s under Sasuke’s name.”

Genma laughed into the blanket until his eyes watered. Kakashi sat back on his heels and waited with what Genma assumed was a grin beneath his mask. As his breath returned, the special jounin turned his face into the couch pillow to stop the chuckles that were quickly becoming painful. “Oh… wow, sorry. I think I’m still in food coma.”

“S’okay,” Kakashi replied. 

“Guess that means no lunch for me then.”

“Aw,” Kakashi stood, shaking his head. “I knew you didn’t really love me. You’re just using me for my cooking skills.”

“Yup.”

“I’m crushed.”

“You’ll live.”

Kakashi flipped him off and with an eye crinkle, moved toward the door. He grabbed his shoes and slipped them on as Genma watched from the couch.

“I left all the dirty dishes for you,” Kakashi’s sing-songed. “I thought it only fair.”

“Man,” Genma whined. “Did you at least rinse them so they won’t be crusty in the morning?”

“Nope.”

“Fuck, I hate you.”

Kakashi laughed. “I hate you too.”

The door opened and Kakashi stepped over the threshold, but Genma sat up, remembering his conversation with Iruka earlier that week.

“Hey, Kakashi,” he called.

“Hm?”

“Are you coming this weekend?” Genma asked. “Iruka and Tenzo and everybody will be there, but I think it’d be cool if you came. It’s always… I’d like it a lot more if you were there.”

He saw it. The blush was small, and it was only faintly pink, but it was there. It crept up from underneath the mask and covered the bridge of Kakashi’s pale nose.

“I uh…” The Copy Nin shuffled his feet and looked away. “Yeah… I’ll be there…”

“Awesome,” Genma grinned. “See you tomorrow then.”

Kakashi looked back at him, his body language betraying he had something on the tip of his tongue, but he said nothing.

“What’s up?” Genma asked.

Kakashi started like he hadn’t noticed he was still standing there and shook his head, “Nothing.” 

“Okay,” Genma smiled softly and waved. “Go plant your porn.”

Kakashi waved back and quickly stepped outside, closing the door gently behind him.

* * *

Saturday night, the club that Genma and the others frequented was packed. There must have been some sort of holiday in the nearby towns because the tokujo had never seen so many bodies crammed onto the dance floor. He looked around, wondering if Iruka had managed to secure their normal spot, or if he was going to have to search.

“Holy shit,” Aoba commented at his side. “I knew I should have stayed home and played video games.”

Genma scoffed. “What, and miss Iruka’s free drinks?”

Aoba sighed. “I don’t know, man. Is it worth swimming through all this gayness? I always feel like a got a rash after I’ve been here.”

Genma laughed and started to move through the crowd. The stairs were dead ahead, passed a throng of sweaty, drunk civilians. “Not everyone here’s gay, dude, just most of them. Go find a pretty lady and rock her panties off.”

“I would,” Aoba whined as he followed, “but last time I did that, that pretty lady turned out to be a pretty dude! I’m scarred for life and it’s _all your fault_.”

“I believe,” Genma grinned over his shoulder, “that Tenzo pointed her out to you.”

“ _Him._ ”

“Whatever. I would have done _him_.”

“Uh, yeah, case in point.”

The bass thumped, vibrating through the floor beneath their feet as they reached the stairs. The club had once been a warehouse used for processing sheet metal, so the place was a cavern. Whoever had bought the property after the warehouse had closed down had erected a second level and installed a separate bar. Genma and the other jounin that met here every other Saturday, liked to sit at the seating area against the railing. It gave them easy access to the second floor bar, and a good lookout of the entryway, and exit doors. As Genma and Aoba reached the second level, they spotted Iruka and a few others camped at their normal spot. No doubt the ex-sensei had sweet-talked someone out of their seats, and quite possibly their money, and maybe even their clothes.

Genma waved and sauntered over to the battered couches. Iruka gave them an enthusiastic hello, and thrust drinks into their hands. Tenzo, his cheeks already pink from drinking, raised his glass in greeting. Aburame Shino nodded, as usual his face was mostly hidden by dark glasses and the grey hoodie he wore when out with friends. Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino sat on the back of one of the couches, watching the dance floor over the railing. Sakura looked over her shoulder and gave Genma a little wave. Ino ignored them all, obviously too engrossed in whoever had caught her attention below.

Two others, a pretty blonde girl and a man with long silver hair in a ponytail, greeted him and Aoba with smiles and firm handshakes. Their names escaped Genma, but he paid it no mind. He’d seen them around the offices in the Hokage tower but their work didn’t run in the same circles as his.

“I thought you were bringing Kiba-kun,” Iruka said to Aoba.

“I was,” the dark-haired man said as he sat beside the pretty blonde. “But he said he had to go drag Shikamaru out of Records. Guy’s been holed up in there for the last few days.”

“Ah, well screw him then. He’ll just miss out on the first round.” As if on cue, a short girl with dark hair, slid passed Genma and placed a tray filled with shot glasses on the table. 

“Thank you, Naya-chan!” Iruka beamed.

Genma looked down at the drink Iruka had already pressed into his hands. The glass was relatively large, so he plucked a shot glass from the tray and dropped it into his original drink. Didn’t really matter what it tasted like, ultimately, it was all going to the same place. He tipped back and downed both drinks in a few swallows. As he set the combination back on the table, the special jounin was surprised to find he was extremely disappointed that Kakashi hadn’t arrived yet. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had wanted to make an entrance, and had come late purposefully. But the Copy Nin was nowhere in sight, and it irked the tokujo more than it really should have.

“Excuse me, Genma-san,” a soothing voice said into the special jounin’s ear. 

Genma turned and met the impossibly black eyes of Kakashi’s teammate, Sai. He had grown since Genma had last seen him, and he had managed to get some color in his frighteningly pale skin. He was wearing a tight, long-sleeved black shirt over baggy cargos, and a smile that seemed to promise a lot more than just mischief. 

Genma started to feel a little warm beneath his belt. Every time Sai came around, Genma’s hunter/tracker sense kicked in. It was like Sai was made of pheromones that made you want to dominate him in the dirtiest ways possible. Though, the fact that he was absolutely unattainable might have been a factor as well. Sai had been with Sakura for years, and everyone knew what happened to poor little jounin when they messed with that particular medic nin’s things. 

“Hey, Sai,” Genma murmured, smiling slowly.

The ANBU leaned in and whispered into Genma’s ear. “Kakashi is here. He got up a few minutes before you walked in, said something about ‘getting some air’.”

Genma stared bug-eyed at the younger man for a moment before he choked out. “How did you—I mean, why are you telling me this?”

Sai frowned in confusion. “I figured you were meeting him. He said to tell you he was here when you arrived.”

Genma swallowed, unsure as to why he had gotten so defensive all of a sudden. “Ah, okay thanks.”

Sai smiled again and Genma’s groin did a happy dance, “No problem.”

Watching Sai’s hand slide gently over Sakura’s arm, Genma felt the same kind of self-conscious excitement he felt when he stumbled across a particularly excellent porn. He watched those deliciously light pink lips glide over the pretty medic’s slender neck, and Genma decided it really was time to ‘get some air’. 

While his loins throbbed and his throat burned from a badly mixed drink, Genma motioning to Iruka that he was going for a smoke. Then he turned on his heel and headed for the open balcony.

* * *

Kakashi stood leaning against the railing of the club’s outer deck, surrounded by smokers and a few small groups of people just needing to cool off. He was happily buzzed already, and had a clear line of sight inside past the bar and to his companion’s usual lounging spot. He had felt Genma arrive and had excused himself so he could ogle the special jounin without interruption. When his friend came into view, he mentally clapped himself on the back for his forethought. There was no way he could have explained away the identical spots of drool on either side of his mask.

God above and gods below and sideways and everywhere else, Genma looked good enough to cause spontaneous nasal hemorrhaging, possibly a brain aneurism. No one should be allowed out of their apartment looking like that. They could be attacked and sold off on some black sex market, and then Kakashi would have to convince Iruka into giving him the mission scroll to save him. No doubt some tyrannical overlord of some distant nation would have bought him and war would break out when Kakashi stole Genma back. 

_Hm_ , Kakashi paused for a moment as he thought that over. _That might make a good story. I’ll have to write that down when I get home so I can give it to Naruto._

The Copy Nin’s attention was pulled back to Genma as the tokujō tipped back and downed his first drink of the night. Kakashi’s mouth went dry as he watched the older man’s neck muscles roll. He should never wear his hair up like that so everyone can see all that throat. He shouldn’t be wearing those jeans either, they were too tight. Damnit, he was even wearing a shirt that Kakashi had bought him. That tight black one that had a flaming stick figure and the words _I tried it at home_ written below. The Copy Ninja had never meant for that shirt to enhance what it enhanced. He had just bought it because it was hilarious. And half off.

“Shit…” Kakashi murmured under his breath as he watched lean muscle flex and pull as the special jounin turned to speak to Sai. Now there was a combination: Genma and Sai. That was worthy of a video camera and an entire bottle of lotion. Genma fucking Sai, legs spread on his back; Genma fucking Sai from behind over a table. Sai sucking Genma off, Genma fingering Sai discreetly in the middle of a debriefing—

“Okay wow, stop,” Kakashi closed his eyes and took a few deeps breaths. “Down tiger, down.” _Think of Gai… Think of Gai in a pink, lacy thing doing the Macarena on the roof of the Hokage tower… That’s not sexy. That is in no way sexy at all. Breath, breathe, breathe…_

Sai was no doubt relaying his message at the moment, so Kakashi figured he had about ten seconds before Genma neared the outer doors and spotted him. The Copy Nin turned as nonchalantly as he could, and leaned his elbows on the railing. _Last month’s mission digging through shit to find that farmer lady’s necklace… Naruto’s ramen slurping… fish market on a hot day… childbirth—_

The click of a lighter and the gentle touch of Genma’s chakra pulled Kakashi out of his frantic mental cool down. The silver-haired nin gripped the cold metal and turned to the tokujō, who looked at that moment, as smooth and as enticing as a long drink of good whisky.

“Yo,” Kakashi said.

* * *

Genma found Kakashi leaning against the deck railing. It struck the special jounin funny for a moment that the Copy Nin needed to step outside. It wasn’t like he was going to smoke. However, whatever the reason, Kakashi was outside, lounging lazily and watching the comings and goings of the club’s patrons.

It was rare to see his friend in civilians. Kakashi looked good. His jeans hung low on his hips and were tight enough to show off a few distinct curves of muscled ass, but left just enough to the imagination that it was a bit of a torment. A black, long sleeved, button up with a collar completed a simple ensemble that, on most anyone else, would have been boring. On Kakashi however, it was like opening up a men’s fashion magazine. He had also traded out his hitai-ate for a silk eye patch, and his hair was doing the sexylesscrazy thing again.

Genma put a cigarette between his lips and lit the tip. He pulled the smoke into his lungs and stepped up beside the younger man. Kakashi turned to him, a pillar of cool and nonchalant, and purred beneath his mask.

“Yo.”

_He’s always so together,_ Genma thought to himself. _Here I am, nervous as shit and stressing about stupid things like if he likes what I’m wearing, or if he’s even close to excited as I am to see him, but I’m really just a fucking idiot._

“Well, I must have done something good today to get this lucky,” Genma teased. His voice was infinitely steadier than how he felt. “What’s your name, soldier?”

Kakashi chuckled and plucked the cigarette from Genma’s fingers. Okay maybe he was going to smoke.

“Whatever you want it to be,” he said softly, and turned away to take a drag.

Genma snorted, “Someone’s gonna see you.”

Kakashi turned back, handing off the cigarette. “Don’t care. They won’t remember, and if they do, I put up a jutsu.”

Genma let the cigarette hang between his lips as he cocked an eyebrow, “Then, why the mask?”

“Well, to you guys this is my face.” Kakashi shrugged, “And the jutsu only activates when the mask comes down.”

Genma shook his head, shaking free a few locks of his long bangs. Kakashi watched them fall with his one grey eye. The special jounin moved closer and caught his breath when he felt the edges of the Copy Nin’s arousal in his chakra. There was no mistaking that Kakashi wanted him, and it made Genma’s heart pound.

“Iruka’s got first round,” he said softly. “You should go get yourself the free drink.”

Kakashi shrugged again. “I like the company here better.”

Genma grinned at the younger man’s response and slid a teasing hand down Kakashi’s side. He hooked a finger in the jounin’s pocket and pulled the silver-haired nin closer. He inhaled Kakashi’s earthy scent before he took his last drag.

“Then, a free drink on me?”

Kakashi nodded slowly, his eye never leaving Genma’s face, “Okay.”

Genma pulled Kakashi behind him, charmed that the Copy Nin was letting himself be dragged around. He threw his cigarette butt in the tray beside the doors and headed back into the warm, stagnate air of the club. When they neared the small swarm of people by the bar waiting for drinks, the tokujō pulled Kakashi to stand beside him, and put just enough distance between them to be inconspicuous.

“So where’s Naruto?”

Kakashi gave him an eye crinkle and slipped his hands into his pockets. “Fell asleep a couple hours ago. He’s always tired now. Couldn’t even get through the movie we rented.”

“Aw, so cute,” Genma snickered.

“What are you getting?” Kakashi asked.

It was Genma’s turn to shrug, “Probably a _Heavy Harvey_.”

Kakashi made a noise. “Those things can kill cancer cells.”

Genma laughed. “Yeah well, you gotta get the trendy drinks when you come out here. Konoha has nothing but sake.”

“I happen to like sake.”

“I do too,” Genma leaned closer and whispered into Kakashi’s ear, “but I’m trying to get you drunk.”

Kakashi’s eyebrow rose. “Oh? You need me drunk for something?”

Genma grinned. “Maybe not ‘need’, but I have an urge to get you silly.”

“I’m already silly.”

“Oh, yes, I know.”

A few minutes later, drinks in hand, Genma led Kakashi away from the bar to lean against the wall near the balcony doors. The tokujō tipped back, downing half the glass easily, despite the intense burn. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Genma was not surprised to find Kakashi had already polished off two thirds of his own drink without him even seeing.

“This really tastes like shit,” Kakashi laughed, his eye pinched shut.

“Yeah,” Genma chuckled, “it does. But like I said, I’m trying to get you exceptionally inebriated.”

Kakashi turned away to finish off the rest of the drink, and placed the glass on a nearby table. He glanced back at Genma with a gleam in his eye as he returned to leaning against the wall.

“It’s not necessary,” he said softly, seriousness creeping into his voice. “I’d do whatever you wanted, wasted or not.”

Genma slowly downed the rest, his eyes never leaving Kakashi’s. He set the glass on the table and moved in close to the younger man. He slouched the way he knew everyone loved, and slid his hands suggestively into his pockets.

“It’s not about that,” he purred. “It’s about getting you vulnerable and off balance.” Genma moved in a little closer, pressing Kakashi up against the wall without touching him. “It’s about getting you to _have no choice_ but to do whatever I want.”

Kakashi shivered so hard Genma saw it. The Copy Nin took a breath and whispered shakily.

“Then get me another one.”

Genma gladly obliged. He left and returned with another couple of _Harveys_ and chaser shots. The proximity of their bodies lessened as the drinks disappeared, and Genma watched with amusement as Kakashi’s eyelids started to droop after the shots. 

“Why do you keep turning away to drink?” Genma asked suddenly. “I thought you had that jutsu up.”

Kakashi stared at him. “The jutsu doesn’t include you.”

Genma’s eyes widened. The impact of Kakashi’s statement hit him hard, and the tokujō felt his stomach tighten with excitement. Kakashi was still willing to let him see his face, all he need do was ask…

“Well,” Genma grinned over the rim of his glass. “Keep turning away; it is not gonna happen tonight.”

Kakashi shrugged and took another hidden swallow. He seemed to think for a moment before speaking again. “You know, we don’t have to make up pretenses for seeing each other.”

Genma’s heart pounded merrily. “Oh?”

Kakashi nodded. “We are officially _sex buddies_. I’ll come over if you just ask.”

“Or you could just come over,” Genma grinned again, liking the combination of titles Kakashi had concocted.

Kakashi nodded. “Or I could just come over. We don’t have to be meeting up in clubs, pretending that we haven’t been thinking about boning each other all day.”

Genma’s loins throbbed and he finally moved closer. “You were thinking about boning me all day?”

“Hell yeah,” Kakashi slurred. “Well, one of us boning the other one at least. Preferably you boning me, but the mechanics of it really don’t matter all that much. Boning with Genma is boning with Genma: it’s all good.”

“You like that word, ‘boning’.”

“If it is proceeded immediately by the word Genma? Then yes.” Kakashi beamed drunkenly from beneath the mask. “I think about getting boned, screwed, boinked, fucked—whatever you wanna call it—by you, pretty much all the time.”

Genma fought an urge to shove Kakashi up against the wall right there and ‘bone’ him to his heart’s content. Even if it was just the novelty of new sex, or maybe the thrill of messing around with someone he probably shouldn’t be messing around with, it didn’t matter. Being thought of like that by Konoha’s top jounin—and one of the sexiest men Genma had ever had the privilege of knowing on top of it—made the tokujō’s ego spike for the first time in months. Instead of slamming Kakashi against the concrete wall, he downed the last shot and slid his hand around the younger man’s waist.

“Let’s go,” he said into the Copy Nin’s ear.

“Can’t,” Kakashi shook his head. “You’ve only been here like, twenty minutes. Iruka’s gonna chew me a new one if we leave now.”

Genma pulled the silver-haired nin’s body against his and ran his tongue over his friend’s pale ear. “I never said anything about leaving.”

As he pulled back, Kakashi gave the older man a knowing stare and pushed off the wall. He held out his arm and let Genma pull him down the stairs, through the crowd on the dance floor, and into the men’s restroom. 

Genma hauled Kakashi inside, and tossed him gently at the sink. There were two patrons at the urinals, and the special jounin was careful to be discreet in his reasons for barging into the bathroom.

Even mildly drunk, Kakashi still caught on and pretended to be getting sick. He moaned softly leaning over one of the sinks, pulled his mask down, and covered his mouth with his hands. The larger man at the urinals, turned and chuckled when he saw Kakashi. He zipped up and made his way to the sink next to the jounin.

“One too many, huh?” he asked as he washed his hands.

“Oh…” Kakashi moaned again, “three or four too many…”

The first man laughed again and turned to leave. The second turned around and made a straight line for the door, not giving a second glance to Kakashi or Genma as he exited.

“Eew,” Kakashi said as he straightened and pulled his mask back up, “he didn’t wash his hands.”

The jounin’s eyes slid slowly to Genma as the tokujō pushed the door all the way closed. Kakashi turned around and leaned his ass against the marble counter, his hands on the cool surface.

“I’m kinda dizzy,” the Copy Nin chuckled.

Genma smirked and made his way across the tiles slowly. He watched Kakashi watching him, feeling out with his chakra to mix with the younger man’s energy. He could sense Kakashi’s excitement; his arousal. He could almost taste the need and the hunger in the air as he put his hands on the counter and eased up against the other man’s hard body.

“Damn…” Genma waited a few beats to heighten the anticipation, “You are sexy as hell right now…”

The visible parts of Kakashi’s cheeks reddened almost instantly. The jounin made a quiet sound and pushed his hips against the older man. “It’s… just the drinks… alcohol induced pheromones.”

“Does alcohol induce pheromones?”

“I have no idea.”

Genma shook his head and breathed across the bridge of Kakashi’s nose. The Copy Nin’s eyes were lazy, heavily lidded and seemingly uninterested. They betrayed nothing of what Genma could feel in the younger man’s body and in his chakra. The special jounin could sense Kakashi’s restraint wearing thin, and he smiled as he thought about how he was going to break it.

“So,” Kakashi said quietly, his words running together, “are we gonna fuck right here in the bathroom where anyone could just walk in?”

Genma nodded. “We can move into a stall if you’re worried about one of your former students seeing us.” He loved the way Kakashi’s chest was rising and falling so heavily. He was sure if he reached out and ran a hand down the silver-haired nin’s arm, it would be shaking. The tokujō’s nerves sung and his veins pumped with the adrenaline of having a man as powerful as Kakashi under his spell.

Kakashi shrugged halfheartedly. “It’s not that I’m worried. I’m actually okay with—”

“—Don’t say you’re okay with me fucking you in public,” Genma teased as he pressed the younger man hard against the sink, “Because I’ll do it. I won’t even hesitate.”

Kakashi lifted a hand and removed the eye patch. Genma was momentarily stunned as the Copy Nin opened his left eye and he was regarded with the intense, red gaze of the sharingan. Kakashi’s arousal was no longer hidden; his body, his chakra, his eyes all seemed to cry out for Genma to take—to _devour him..._

Genma lifted his hands and slid his fingers into Kakashi’s hair. He pulled the jounin’s head back and breathed heavily across the dark fabric of the younger man’s mask. Kakashi’s hands went to his hips, slipping fingers underneath his shirt. 

“Hey, Genma?” Kakashi panted.

“Hm?” the special jounin murmured.

“I uh…”

The bathroom door flew open and slammed against the wall. The sound broke the intimate connection and sent Genma hurling into the stall at the end of the line. It took him a moment to realize what had happened, but then he almost laughed. Even intoxicated, Kakashi’s reflexes were deadly. The Copy Nin had moved around him, grabbed a hold of his arm, and pulled them both into a stall before Genma could even think about it. The tokujō found himself crushed with his shoulder blades against the concrete wall, and his chest pressed against Kakashi’s back. The blond listened to the intruding voices as he tried not to snicker into Kakashi’s ear.

“Sorry,” Kakashi whispered, his words still slurred. ”That was completely refles... reflefsi…”

“Reflexive?” Genma offered.

“Yeah, that.” 

Genma responded by sliding his hands around the jounin’s waist as they both stood huddled in the stall, listening to the men at the urinals.

“But you’ll never guess what she did, dude,” the first voice chuckled. “You know that vase in the living room at my parent’s house?”

“No fucking way, man,” the second replied. “That’s nasty, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“I swear to God!” the first insisted. “My parents were in the next fucking room and here she goes, pulling that thing off and-”

“Dude! I’m serious! That’s my freaking cousin you’re talking about! I’m gonna throw up!”

Genma listened with half an ear as Kakashi’s hair brushed across his face. He inhaled the younger man’s masculine scent and brought his fingers up to tug on the mask. Kakashi froze as he felt Genma’s hand at his face, but he made no moves to stop him as the older man slowly pulled the fabric down. The tokujō freed the Copy Nin’s throat and ran his tongue slowly up pale skin. Sweat beaded on the back of Kakashi’s neck, and Genma helped himself as the jounin started to squirm in his arms.

Water ran in the sink as the two men washed, and the door creaked loudly as they left. Genma took the opportunity to bite down on Kakashi’s ear, and the younger man made a noise that might have been a groan. He pressed back against Genma and rolled his hips, effectively putting the special jounin’s erection comfortably in the clef of his muscular ass. 

Genma could hold on no longer and pulled Kakashi around to press him face first into the wall. Kakashi’s hands made fists against the concrete, and he hung his head between his arms. “Yes,” he panted loudly, “hell yes.”

Genma reached into his pocket and pulled out a condom. He held the package in his teeth as he reached around Kakashi to unbutton his jeans and slide them down his hips. Kakashi spread his legs a little, keeping the fabric from falling all the way to the floor, and turned his head to look at Genma over his shoulder. Genma glanced up, meeting his eyes, and chuckled at seeing the bottom half of the Copy Nin’s face still hidden behind his dark sleeve.

The tokujō held Kakashi’s gaze as he used his teeth to rip open the condom. He slid the slick rubber over two of his fingers and reached down to tease the younger man’s entrance. He slid in easily as Kakashi’s body opened for him without resistance. Genma stroked in and out, loosening muscles and teasing spots that made the silver-haired man gasp loudly in approval.

The door opened again, and Kakashi’s body tightened. The jounin stilled, waiting for the familiar sound from the urinals, but Genma was not letting Kakashi get by so easily. He pressed in close against the other man and slid his fingers out and back in slowly. He watched the Copy Ninja’s shoulders and arms start to shake with the effort to hold everything in. He moved even slower, sliding his fingers out to the tips, teasing that puckered ring of flesh before pushing back in even slower than before.

There was a flush, and the door opened. Another patron returned to the party without washing his hands. 

However, Genma was too busy to care. Kakashi had started to make the most erotic sounds the moment they were alone again. He moaned and panted as Genma slowly finger fucked him. He pushed back with his hips, begging with his body. The act floored Genma and sent his arousal into dangerous temperatures.

“Oh my God,” Genma grinned and ran his tongue over his lips. “You’re such a slut.”

“Ah…” Kakashi panted as his sharingan eye watched over his shoulder. “Shut up… Get to the good part…”

Genma bit back a laugh and slid his fingers free to drop the rubber into the toilet. He retrieved another from his pocket and unfastened his own jeans. He freed himself and slid the condom over his hot length. He took Kakashi by the hips and guided himself into the Copy Nin’s body. The jounin cursed, growling low in his throat, and pressed himself flat against the wall.

Genma brought his body flush against the other man’s and whispered into Kakashi’s ear, “You okay?”

Kakashi stayed still, his forehead against the concrete, but then Genma felt his body loosening again and the Copy Nin arched and pushed back against him.

“I’m fine,” Kakashi murmured, his voice shaking slightly. “It just… felt really good.”

Genma held onto that trembling body and smiled against the flushed skin of Kakashi’s neck. “Well, in that case…” He purred and started to move. He wasted no time in getting Kakashi accustomed to him. The tokujō thrust hard and deep, rolling his hips with precision, his muscles flexing as he pulled back and roughly snapped forward.

Kakashi was getting loud. Genma had figured he would be, but not to this extent. Obscenities flowed from the normally reserved mouth, and the jounin’s pants and cries echoed off the stone walls and ceiling. When the door opened once again, Genma had to cover the younger man’s mouth with his hand. 

“Can you believe that bitch?” a low voice said, angrily. “This is the fourth fucking weekend I’ve taken her out, and she’s still not giving it up. I’ve spent so much God dammed money on her, I’m about to…”

Kakashi arched hard against Genma and bit down on the tokujō’s hand. Genma shivered and pushed Kakashi against the wall harder. He released the jounin’s mouth slowly, waiting to see if Kakashi was going to stay quiet. When the silver-haired man proved to be able to quell his cries, Genma’s hands returned to the younger man’s hips. He slowed his pace but thrust more violently into the jounin’s body. He silently dared Kakashi to make a sound as he fucked him harder. He teased and tortured the younger man, knowing that he was being cruel, but also knowing deep down, that Kakashi wanted it this way and had asked for it with that pleading bite.

They moved together like desperate animals, but made no sound. Their training over the years had made them kings of deception and masters of abating detection. They fucked hard, fast, and violently, while holding in their chakra; barely even moving the air around them. It was the most intense experience Genma had ever felt. His muscles started to burn with strain, his head felt dizzy and muddled. He felt himself starting to slip and gathered the back of Kakashi’s shirt into his mouth. He clamped down hard on the fabric to keep himself from crying out as he pounded into the Copy Nin. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind he heard the door slam shut, but that did not break them of their silence. They continued withholding themselves; holding in the words, holding in the guttural animalistic sounds their bodies wanted to desperately to make. 

Only when Kakashi’s hand slid over his and guided it to his erection did Genma let himself go. He growled deeply into the younger man’s neck and stroked the jounin until he shuddered helplessly and pulsed in his hand. Kakashi’s mouth opened to let out a cry in his ecstasy, but Genma’s hand returned to his mouth. He pulled the jounin’s head back violently against his shoulder, and felt the sting of the Copy Nin’s teeth on his fingers. Blood trickled down the back of his palm, but he couldn’t care less. He was coming in hot, thick spurts deep into Kakashi’s shaking, beautiful, sensual body.

Breathing slowed, bodies untangled; clothes were pulled back on by unsteady hands, and masks were replaced with trembling fingers. Grey and red eyes met with dark honey, and the two ninjas stared at each other for several long moments.

“I’m sorry…” Kakashi said finally, and Genma knew immediately he meant the bite on his hand.

“It’s all right,” he whispered, “it was worth it.”

“You’re amazing,” Kakashi said with awe in his voice.

Genma felt his cheeks heat but he held Kakashi’s gaze. “So are you.”

Kakashi didn’t move. He stayed leaning against the wall, watching Genma with heavy-lidded eyes. The tokujō felt the younger man wanted something from him, but he couldn’t think of what it might be. 

“This feels really weird,” Kakashi said finally.

“What does,” Genma couldn’t help but chuckle. 

Kakashi pushed off the wall slowly and brought his hand up to brush sweaty bangs from Genma’s forehead. “I feel really good, really relaxed and floaty and all that… satisfied, but…”

“But?” Genma frowned.

Kakashi moved closer, bringing his masked lips a hair’s breath from Genma’s.

“But I feel like I need to do it again… right now.”

Genma chuckled again. “Can’t get enough of me?” he teased.

The Copy Nin was quiet for a moment, and it sobered Genma considerably.

“Maybe,” Kakashi said softly.

Genma took that chance and leaned forward to press his lips against Kakashi’s. The mask was warm, and slightly damp, but it smelled earthy like Kakashi and was soft against Genma’s skin. The tokujō felt Kakashi’s breath catch and pulled back slightly to look into the younger man’s eyes. He saw the tomoe spinning slowly, and suddenly felt like he was falling. 

Kakashi caught him as his legs gave out. “I’m sorry,” the silver-haired nin whispered into his ear. “I lost myself for a second.”

Genma breathed slowly, fighting back a laugh as he straightened. “Shit, that was fucking insane. Remind me not to do that again.”

Kakashi shook his head. “My fault, it’s a fetish.”

“What is?” Genma asked, confused.

“Kissing with the mask on,” the jounin replied.

Genma bit his lip to hold back the smile. Kakashi was blushing. The tops of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose was flaming red like the tokujō had never seen before. He leaned forward while Kakashi was still distracted by being embarrassed and kissed him again. This time Kakashi staggered a little, but Genma steadied him, and pulled him out of the stall.

“Come on,” he said with a laugh. “Let’s get back to everybody before they think we’re sucking each other off or something.”

“Oh wow, that sounds good too.” Kakashi followed him, but pulled at his arm before he reached the door.

“Wash your hands first.”

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Shikamaru stared at the report in his hands. He blinked slowly, realizing he had just read the same paragraph three times in a row and still didn’t have a clue what it said. He lowered the paper to his desk and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. A dull ache had begun in the back of his head earlier that afternoon and had grown steadily into a relentless throb as the day had progressed. It probably didn’t help at all that he had been working for almost two days straight, and now he was stuck somewhere in that uncertain territory between asleep and awake. 

He knew he should have gone home after realizing that he had hallucinated the report about Tenten and the panda bear, but he couldn’t make himself leave the office. Going home meant he would be alone. Alone meant he would have nothing to do but think. Thinking meant he would start to question and worry until he made himself sick. He would fall asleep and have bad dreams, and upon waking, he would not feel refreshed.

At least tonight, he might be able to get himself drunk enough to pass out. Drunken sleep never produced the same results as normal sleep. Maybe the dreams would be kept at bay by an alcohol induced stupor. 

He reached for his cup and drank the last few dredges of the tar the office had the effrontery to call coffee. That was one setback to taking the later shift: by the time Shikamaru was able to drag his ass into work, the smell of Izumo’s natural blend, reishi and ginseng laced, gluten-free, syrup-free, home grown, environmentally conscientious _shit_ , had permeated every corner of the office. It was awful; tasted like nail polish remover. So, why did he drink it? Well, it was free, and who could complain about offensive coffee when it was free?

The lanky ninja stood and stretched his arms over his head. He pulled to both sides, trying to loosen the teres muscles. For some reason no matter how he trained, the teres were always sore.

“Nara-san?” a voice said from the doorway, the speaker hidden behind tall bookcases. Shikamaru had situated the shelves around his desk to give himself some privacy. Before, just passing down the hall, one could glance inside his office and catch him napping at his desk. 

“Nara-san,” the voice said again, “are you here?”

Shikamaru bit back a groan. If someone who used an honorific was looking for him this late at night, that could only mean one thing: an ANBU had returned, and they needed to be _debriefed_.

“What is it?” Shikamaru kept as much of the aggravation out of his voice as he could. No reason to kill the messenger. 

“Nara-san,” the voice continued, “Ibiki-san wants you for a debriefing. He’s in the Hokage’s office.”

Shikamaru sighed and grabbed the stack of reports off his desk. He hated being right sometimes. “Fine, tell him I’ll be there in a few.”

“Uh…” there was shuffling, “Ibiki-san said immediately.”

Trying not to growl openly, Shikamaru counted to three in his head before he spoke. “Forty-one hours, man. That’s how long I’ve been here. I’ve been staring at reports for so long, my eyes are bleeding. Ibiki can wait five minutes while I get another cup of coffee and take a piss.”

A head of light brown hair peeked around the shelves. “Ibiki-san said you would say that, sir.”

“Yellow line,” Shikamaru said simply, pointing to the floor. “There’s a sign.” 

The ninja started, remembering the rules for entering the ANBU strategist’s office. He moved once again behind the yellow line, effectively placing him out of Shikamaru’s line of sight. “I’m sorry, sir,” he mumbled, “but Ibiki-san said you would say something like that, and he told me to remind you that you could have gone home any time. It was your decision to stay here.”

Shikamaru clenched his jaw and spoke through his teeth. “Why does Ibiki need me this second?”

“He just said come now, sir.” The younger ninja stammered. “He needs two for debrief and Iruka-san and the Hokage are both gone for the night. He said you’re the only one with the clearance that’s available.”

_That’s because everyone else is already off getting plastered._ “Okay, I’m coming. Don’t want Ibiki to get his freaking panties in a bunch.” 

Shikamaru placed the reports in a desk drawer and locked it with a chakra signature release. Grabbing his bag from the floor, he slipped the long strap over his shoulder and made the hand signals for teleportation. He appeared in a whirl of dark smoke before the Hokage’s office door and slapped at his face a few times trying to force the heaviness out of his eyelids. 

However, upon entering the office, Shikamaru realized that he would have no problem staying awake during this debrief. The ANBU that stood around the Hokage’s desk, clad in the standard issue black and white uniform, caused a painful knot to tighten in the Nara’s chest. Four heads turned to look at him; greeted him with a slight nod. A fifth however, only glanced in his direction and turned back to Ibiki. 

Who would have known the whole reason for his sleep depravity would be waiting for him in Naruto’s office? What a _fantastic_ night this was turning out to be. 

“Second squad?” the Nara remarked smoothly, carefully concealing the rush of emotion that churned beneath his cool exterior. “You guys aren’t due back for another two weeks.” _No wonder this required the highest clearance._

Ibiki stood behind the desk, his hands on his hips. “Things seem to have gone well.”

“No shit.” Shikamaru dropped his bag by the door and made his way around to the desk. He picked up the report and scanned the small, crisp writing he knew so well. “No injuries I assume.”

“None, sir,” Crane, second squad’s medic, stood the closest. His wild head of blond hair stood on end, jutting out in all directions. “The civilians were in pretty good condition too, aside from the psychological effects of course. For slaves, they were surprisingly well treated.”

Shikamaru nodded. “All fifty-three girls were recovered?”

“Uh, there were over sixty,” Bear spoke up.

Shikamaru looked up from the report, his eyebrows raised, “Really?”

“Yes!” Bear said enthusiastically. The tall nin calmly folded hiss arms over his chest, but his body practically _radiated_ with energy. “I cried manly tears of joy at discovering that none of the fragile ladies had been killed.”

Shikamaru suppressed a smile. “I figured. There was bound to be a few that were never reported.” He placed the report back on the desk and made himself comfortable in the Hokage’s chair. “Okay, let’s do this. Cat?”

Cat didn’t move from his place at the window; his body remained silhouetted from the street lamp outside. The Nara felt nothing from him, not a hint of a chakra signature. It was normal to feel nothing from an ANBU, but when it came to Cat, it was almost like staring into a void. 

“Third squad’s recon was good,” Cat started. His voice was soft and silky. “They were exactly where we were told. We were given a three minute window. Crane and Bear took up position on the roof, while Badger and Owl readied the charges at the two entry points.”

“You used the civilian explosives, not tags, correct?” Ibiki asked.

Cat nodded to the older man and continued.

Shikamaru, at the mention of Owl, let his eyes wander to the ANBU standing in the back. His long hair was pulled back neatly into a thick braid. He stood at attention, even as the rest of the squad relaxed. The Nara suffered a sharp pang in his chest and suddenly felt ashamed that he let himself be so vulnerable. Just the sight of that dark hair, or that long supple neck made his knees weak. 

The mask was frightening however. The owl face was as cruel as it was majestic. Its colors were gray and black, with the slightest hint of lavender around the large, black eyes. To someone who didn’t know what lay behind them, the eyes were exceptionally alarming. Owl’s mask had no holes in which to see through, and even if you knew why, it was still terrifying to look at. 

“Shikamaru!” Ibiki barked, pulling the Nara violently from his thoughts.

Taking a quick look at the clock on the wall, Shikamaru was startled to see that almost twenty minutes had passed. Is that what Owl was doing to him now? Unknowingly placing him in trances? Maybe he had just fallen asleep. Shikamaru quickly went through everything his partitioned brain had picked up unconsciously while he had been distracted.

“You did well,” Shikamaru nodded to the squad. “Crane, you said you volunteer to head the team getting the girls back to their families?”

Crane nodded. “I have another five ninja as well. They’re just waiting for a go.”

“Understood,” Shikamaru rubbed at his eyes again. “I’ll send you a few more chuunin tomorrow for escorts.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“If there’s nothing else, you’re dismissed.” Shikamaru stood and scratched the back of his head lazily, “Go home. Go to bed.”

He handed the report to Ibiki as the ANBU started to disappear from the room. Shikamaru wanted to wait and see if he could catch Owl before he left, but then thought how troublesome that would no doubt turn out to be. Owl was obviously not in the mood to talk to him. He was already moving to speak with Ibiki. The Nara sighed and decided to just go back to his office and wait for Kiba. 

Bear followed him out of the office and fell into step beside him as they made their way down the stairs.

“You look very tired, Shikamaru.”

Shikamaru shrugged. “Long day. I’m still filing reports from the mass mission.”

“Your sense of duty and motivation to your work is truly inspiring!” Bear pumped his fist. “Would that everyone have the fire of youth that burns in you, my friend!”

Shikamaru chuckled. “I don’t know about ‘motivation’ or ‘fire of youth’. I just like to get shit done.”

“Ah, such modesty,” Bear sighed. “You are awesome, Shikamaru.”

“Thanks,” Shikamaru stifled another chuckle. “Hey, are you going home to rest? Or are you going to stop by the club tonight? I think that waitress with the black hair works tonight.”

Bear almost stumbled as he descended the last few steps. “I um,” he stammered, “N-no, I would love to. Naya-chan is a charming and compassionate woman whose beauty is like a rose in the midst of a desert!” Bear caught himself then and after clearing his throat, reeled back in his enthusiasm. 

“But I have a promise I must keep.”

“Oh yeah?” Shikamaru opened the door to his office, and threw his bag down on a nearby chair. “Promise to whom?”

Bear seemed hesitant before he turned and closed the door behind him. He slouched dramatically, and lowered his voice. “I am not supposed to tell you!”

Shikamaru stopped in the middle of reaching for his coffee cup and turned back to his friend. “Excuse me?”

“Ah, see, that is why I wanted to speak with you.” Bear crossed Shikamaru’s yellow line without a second thought and made himself comfortable in the chair in front of Shikamaru’s desk. The Nara bit back an irritated grunt for this was a feat he hadn’t thought possible. He had bought that chair specifically because it was _uncomfortable_.

“I’m already hating this conversation,” Shikamaru muttered and sat down.

Bear folded his hands together in his lap and looked at Shikamaru, seriousness becoming tangible as he leaned in. “You have to promise me you will not get mad.”

“No.” Shikamaru muttered, leaning over his desk and resting his elbows on the polished wood. “But tell me what’s going on anyway, and I promise to try.”

Bear nodded, accepting. “I am worried about Owl.”

Shikamaru closed his eyes. The one thing he didn’t want to talk about, think about, _anything_ about, had just found its way back into his direct attention.

“You promised you would try, Shikamaru.”

“I know,” Shikamaru said quietly. “I am. Go on.”

Bear leaned forward further. When he spoke again, his voice had acquired an intensity that seemed to aid in Shikamaru’s brain trying to push out through his skull. “He went on the mass mission, as you know, and when he came back, he was immediately sent on this follow-up.”

Shikamaru nodded. “It happens. I’m sorry. Sometimes ANBU missions conflict with jounin missions. Nothing I can do about it.”

Bear shook his head. “I am not finished. If you look at the logs, you will find that N—I mean Owl went on a mission with Tenten the week before the mass mission. And then if you look before that, you will find that he also volunteered for that operation with the ninja from Suna.”

Shikamaru blinked. “He went on that rescue thing with Temari?” 

Bear nodded again. “That is three missions in a row with no downtime. Now, I have absolute faith in Owl’s skills, and would never question his determination but... His passion burns with such ferocity that sometimes I get quite emotional and—” 

“I get it, I get it.” Shikamaru held up a hand for a cease and desist.

“I never see him at training anymore, never around the village; he has stopped meeting me for dinner. He is always gone. I will bet you that if you checked the logs further, you will find that he has been volunteering for back to back missions for several months. I will climb the Hokage Mountain with my sensei on my back one-hundred times if I am wrong!”

“No!” Shikamaru cried. “No, you don’t have to do that. I believe you.” The Nara ran a hand over his face, trying to think through the invisible man using a sledgehammer on his forehead. “I haven’t been authorizing all of his missions, so I didn’t notice.”

Bear played with a string clinging to the arm of the chair. “There is more.”

Feeling his chest start to tighten on top of the pain in his head, Shikamaru rubbed at his temples to distract himself. “Okay.”

Bear looked away, perhaps noticing how the conversation was affecting the Nara.

“He has volunteered for another. I promised him that I would help ready him tonight. He leaves tomorrow for two weeks. That is what he is talking to Ibiki-san about right now.”

Shikamaru slammed his hands down on his desk, “Son of a bitch!” 

Bear sat up straighter. “Please do not get mad, Shikamaru.”

The Nara growled fiercely and leaned back in his chair. He ran his hands over his face. “He’s such a fucking idiot! What the hell is he thinking?”

“I do not know.” Bear folded his hands in his lap and sat quietly for a minute as Shikamaru stewed. “I… am sorry for bringing you this news.”

Shikamaru shook his head slowly. “No, you did the right thing. You did your duty.”

“Yes, but I came to you, not only because it is my duty. I came to you because…” Bear trailed off.

“What?” Shikamaru asked.

The ANBU leaned forward, motioning Shikamaru to come closer. When the Nara moved in, Bear whispered intently. “Is there something going on between the two of you?”

Shikamaru stilled. He hadn’t expected Bear to be so forward. Relationships between ninja in the same sections were illegal, but they were not uncommon. Most Konoha ninja however kept it to themselves if they noticed their coworkers getting friendly. 

“I do not mean to pry, and I hold no prejudice against such unions. Sensei says love is not bound by race or gender, and should be free to flourish in every heart!” Bear once again cleared his throat and quelled his enthusiasm. He continued in a softer voice. “I came to you because if you are indeed in a relationship with him—”

“There’s no _relationship_.” Shikamaru regretted his outburst immediately. His voice had been much harsher than he had intended, but it hurt so much to admit what weighted his heart aloud. 

Bear physically deflated in front of him. “I… I am sorry. I know it is none of my business.” The ANBU sat back in his seat.

Shikamaru let out a breath. He needed a drink desperately. “No, Bear, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.”

Bear perked back up.

Shikamaru leaned to the side and rested his chin in his hand. He wanted to crawl in a hole and never come back out.

“There’s nothing serious going on.” _Shit it hurt._ ”Just some… stress relief now and then. I’m sure that whatever he’s going through doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

Bear studied him intently for a few long seconds; the bear mask coolly watching him without expression. Then he slowly nodded. “I am sorry.”

Was he that transparent? “Don’t worry about it,” Shikamaru sighed again, feeling a familiar chakra coming closer from down the hall. He straightened, nodding to Bear who also noticed that they were about to be walked in on. 

“Just… talk to him tomorrow. You’re closer to him than anyone else. If anybody’s gonna get anything out of him, it’s going to be you.” 

“I think you are wrong about that, but all right.” Bear stood, and lifted his hands to make teleportation seals. “We will talk again later?”

Shikamaru nodded, unable to hold back a tiny smile. Bear was immeasurably caring when it came to his friends. 

The ANBU disappeared, just as Kiba came around the shelves, bypassing the yellow line and flopping down in the chair that Bear had just vacated. The Inuzuka wore faded jeans and a bright pink shirt with the words ‘ _I’m manly enough to wear pink_ ’ written across the chest. He grinned at Shikamaru and laced his fingers together behind his head.

“Ready to get crunk?”

* * *

Genma downed a fourth Gold Digger and slammed the glass down on the table. Shino sat staring at the remaining full glasses for a moment before he actually turned green. He silently shook his head and leaned back into the couch cushions.

“Aw, are you serious?” Mitarashi Anko cried beside him. “Shino-kun you drink like a ten year old girl!”

Shino shrugged slowly, his movements sluggish. “I can’t do another one. I have no idea how Genma-san can just—hic—toss them back like that.”

Genma high-fived Kakashi, who nearly missed, and reclined back onto the opposite couch. “It’s no big secret; my taste buds are all dead.”

“You really are kind of a bottomless pit,” Aoba stared across the table at his friend, his face a picture of drunken aw.

Masaru, the ninja with the long silver hair, chuckled and took one of the remaining glasses. He raised it to his lips, took a small swallow, and grimaced.

“God, no wonder they sell these so cheap. That is really is disgusting.”

“They used to give you free rounds of whatever you wanted if you could down an entire Gold Digger in one go.” Iruka said as he watched the crowd over the railing.

Ume, the blonde girl, brushed her bangs from her eyes. “They don’t anymore?”

Iruka shook his head. “Naw, ‘cause there’s always freaks like Genma that’ll down two just for shits and giggles.”

“Nasty…” Shino murmured, his voice barely heard over the loud music.

“Hey, Iruka,” Aoba called across the table. “What the hell are you looking at?”

A small, mischievous smile pulled at the Hokage assistant’s lips, and he turned away from the railing. “Nothing.”

Ume sat forward and glanced over the railing herself. “Come on, Iruka-chan, you’ve been watching somebody down there all night! We all can tell, don’t try to hide it.”

Iruka’s smile widened. “I mean it, it’s nothing.”

Genma slipped sideways as Kakashi sat forward. The special jounin had been leaning against the Copy Ninja’s arm, but now his support was gone.

“Iss the bouncer,” Kakashi slurred. “He’s had the hoss for Iruka for like… a million years.”

“Really!?” Ume got up on her knees to get a better look at the tall, thick man standing by the door. “Oh wow, he’s so scary-looking!”

Genma craned his neck to see over the railing and down to the door of the club. A tall, muscular man with close cropped, black hair stood at the entrance with his tree trunk arms folded across his chest. He was intimidating indeed, with jagged scars across his jaw and down his neck. His face was set in a permanent scowl, and his stance was cool and unfriendly. But when the man turned and scanned the crowd, Genma got a better look at him straight on, and the special jounin understood why Iruka was interested. The man had kind eyes; soft and dark. The kind of eyes you didn’t mind looking at you. 

“He’s a sweetheart,” Iruka said. “I’ve been stringing him along forever.”

“You’re such a jerk,” Anko snickered.

“I know.” Iruka took another swallow from his drink and went back to watching the crowd below. 

“Hey, I have a question.” Aoba sat forward, addressing the entire group. “How do you know who to hit on? ‘Cause I mean, not all of you guys run around in high heels. How can you tell who’s gay and who’s not? Have you ever made the moves on someone and they were like ‘woa’?”

“Of course,” Iruka said over his shoulder. “Everyone does that.”

“Nope, never happened to me,” Genma said with mock arrogance. “Everyone’s gay by the time I’m done with ‘em.”

Kakashi chuckled and turned to whisper into the special jounin’s ear. “Weren’t you juss saying a couple days ago about how you d’know where your reputation comes from?” 

Genma shrugged, scooting closer to the younger man. “Shut your mouth. You’re prettier when you don’t talk.”

Kakashi laughed and reached for another drink.

“But,” Aoba was asking, “what about tops and bottoms? What if you’re a top and you hook up with someone and you’re totally into them, but you get ‘em home to find out that they’re been plannin’ to put their man meat in your meat.”

“Oh my God,” Anko pinched the bridge of her nose. “If I never hear the words ‘man meat’ again, that would make me very happy.”

“I’ve never had that problem,” Iruka grinning into his glass.

“What, you never taken a top home?”

Iruka’s smile did not falter, “I’m a bottom, Aoba.”

Aoba’s eyes opened wide. “Wow, really?”

Iruka didn’t answer, he just kept smiling and continued to drink his drink.

Aoba, looking a bit frazzled, took a long swallow of his drink and set it down on the table. “So, okay, Iruka’s never had that problem, but what about you two?” He turned to Genma and Kakashi.

Kakashi waved his hand back and forth in a so-and-so motion. “I mostly prefer bottom.”

“ _Are you kidding!?_ ” Aoba cried. He turned to Genma. “Are you a bottom too? Where are all the tops?”

“It doesn’t really matter, Aoba,” Genma tried not to laugh. 

“When it comes to sex, I have absolutely no problem with anything that anyone else does ever. More power to ya. But the thought of someone shoving something up _my_ ass is scary as fuck. I could never do it.”

“You really should try it sometime,” Genma waggled his eyebrows, “It’s weird the first time but it can feel so, so good.”

“Girls do it too, Aoba,” Ume added, “It’s totally natural and Genma-san is right, it can feel really good.”

“Unless,”Anko cut in, “you’re with someone that doesn’t know what they’re doing. Like the guys that do those fucking little half thrusts and you start to chafe before you even get going.”

“Oh my God, I know!” Ume made a face. “Ugh that just brought me back.”

Iruka rolled his eyes dramatically and shook his head, “Straight guys.”

“Cheers,” Genma chuckled and took another swallow of someone’s drink.

“So, Aoba?” Ume asked.

“What?” Aoba answered as if he was being interrogated.

“You wouldn’t even consider having sex with a man, even if you were the ‘top’?”

Aoba shook his head.

Genma shrugged, “That’s too bad. I had great plans for you if you’d said yes.”

Anko raised her hands like she was surrendering. “I don’t understand people. Girls are sexy, boys are sexy, men and women are sexy. Non-gendered, non-binary people are sexy. If you can have anal sex with a girl, why can’t you with a guy? Everyone is beautiful!”

Reaching across the table, Aoba grabbed another half-full drink and put his lips to the rim. “I’ve never had anal sex before.”

“Really!” several people shouted at the same time.

Eyes incredulous, Aoba swallowed and shook his head. “What if I get shit on my dick?” 

Everyone around the table laughed, Kakashi nearly fell off the couch as he doubled over. Genma pulled him back by his t-shirt and settled him into the cushions beside him.

“Oh my God, Aoba, I love you,” Masaru clapped the blushing shinobi on the back, “You’re so funny.”

“Hey, Genma,” Iruka said from across the table, “You never answered Aoba’s question.”

“Oh, I don’t care. Either way is fine, I have no preference,” Genma shrugged.

“Cool,” Iruka held up his glass, “a switch.”

Genma held up a glass as well, grinning at the former sensei. He took another swallow as well and settled back onto the cushions. He felt Kakashi pull at the hem of his t-shirt and slip his warm fingers underneath to run over the skin of his lower back. The special jounin resisted the urge to put his hand on Kakashi’s thigh, chuckling at the image of not so discreet touching beneath the table. It was like being thirteen again. 

“So what’s the bouncer’s name?” Anko asked.

Iruka smiled and straightened the collar on his shirt, “Kaito.”

“He really is scary-looking,” Masaru looked behind him, down at the doors. “Those scars are crazy.”

“He got them defending his little sister,” Iruka said with a smile.

“Aw,” Anko nudged Iruka’s foot with hers. “That’s how he’s wiggled his way into your heart, sensei! So cute!”

“Who’s wiggling their way into Iruka’s what?”

Heads turned as Kiba slipped into the booth beside Shino and relieved his teammate of his drink.

Anko waved to the Inuzuka, “We were just talking about how the bouncer here is in love with Iruka-sensei.”

Kiba took a swallow and his eyebrows lifted, “Kaito? Really?” 

Anko continued talking to Kiba, but Genma was suddenly distracted by a tall, lanky body in blue jeans, and a form-fitting, dark green t-shirt. Shikamaru slid over the back of the couch, and settled down in between himself and Aoba. The Nara said nothing and reached for the last Gold Digger that sat lonely on the table. He brought it to his lips and downed the entire glass in a few swallows.

“See?” Iruka motioned to Shikamaru. “That would be like the eighth free round for us. The club would go out of business.

Shikamaru turned to Genma and took the special jounin’s glass. “What the hell is he talking about?” then he downed Genma’s drink as well.

“Somebody’s in a good mood,” Kakashi said softly at Genma’s side. 

Genma took the empty glass from his friend and set it on the table. “He’s just talking about when the club gave free rounds to anyone who could take one of those in one go.”

“Oh,” Shikamaru pinched the bridge of his nose. “Well, I’ve been drinking Izumo’s organic bullshit coffee all day, so nothing tastes bad anymore.”

Genma chuckled, “It’s not that bad.”

“For tar, I guess.” Shikamaru’s eyes were red, and his skin had an unhealthy grey pallor. He looked like he hadn’t slept in several days.

“Hey,” Aoba perked up again, “so what about if you’re a bottom and you pick up a bottom? What the hell do you do then?”

Anko and Iruka started laughing. Kiba coughed as he inhaled some of his drink. “What? Aoba-sempai, where did that come from?”

“It’s been an ongoing theme,” Genma snickered.

“Aoba is trying to understand the highly secret and mysterious world of the gay pick-up,” Anko explained.

“Oooooh,” Kiba nodded and turned to Aoba. “What have you learned, man? I’m not educated in the rituals of gay pick-up either.”

“I’ve learned that everyone in the world has had anal sex but me,” Aoba muttered, his speech was slowing and his tongue seemed to be getting heavy, “Also, that I should try it on myself. Oh, and that everyone is beautiful. But they haven’t answered me about the picking up tops and bottoms thing.”

“What do you mean?” Kiba asked.

Sai spoke up from the other side of Shino. “Aoba is confused as to how one picks up another man with the possibility of ‘top verses bottom’ being an issue.”

“Ah,” Kiba nodded, “Okay, so how does that work?”

“It’s never really a problem unless you’re a top and you pick up another top,” Iruka explained.

“But these guys won’t ever have that problem,” Aoba put his head on the table, the alcohol starting to wear him down, “At least it’s easy for you guys, so that’s good.”

Kiba laughed and took a swallowed the remainder of Shino’s drink. 

Iruka reached out and patted Aoba’s head. “Did you think we were all one way or the other?”

Aoba nodded against the wood.

“Troublesome…” Shikamaru muttered.

Iruka’s eyes flashed mischievously as he glanced at the young special jounin. “Well, Shikamaru? You ever taken another top home and things went sour?”

Shikamaru didn’t look up, but kept studying the inside of his glass. Aoba turned to look at him, smashing his cheek against the table top. 

“You’re a top?” Aoba asked.

Shikamaru shook the glass, rattling the half melted ice cubes. He nodded slowly but still didn’t look up.

“Really?” Aoba lifted his head. “Like most of the time? Or like, you prefer it that way?”

Shikamaru finally looked up and Aoba and smirked. “I’m the top all the time.”

Aoba stared for a moment before he lifted his hand to put a fist on the table top. His thumb went up in a thumbs-up. “Good job. I’m sorry your sex life is harder though.”

Laughter erupted around the table, and even Shikamaru was forced into a reluctant chuckle. Genma watched the younger man, seeing that being around friends was indeed helping with whatever was bothering him, but there was still an underlying sadness that never quite left.

“You all right, Shikamaru?” Genma asked quietly when the attention turned back to Anko and Kiba.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Shikamaru’s voice was slightly hoarse. “Just a long day reviewing the goddamn mass mission reports, and then I got to stay way into overtime. Notice how I got here way past midnight? Right when I thought I was gonna get to leave, I had to debrief fucking second squad.”

“Second squad?” Kakashi leaned over Genma. “Second squad iss back? They’re not s’pposed to be back for—”

“Two weeks, I know,” Shikamaru interrupted. “Things went really well. I can let you see the report tomorrow.”

“Cool,” Kakashi’s eye crinkled and he settled back.

Genma couldn’t stop watching Shikamaru as the younger man stared into his empty glass. There had been genuine happiness in his voice as he had relayed the information about ANBU second squad, but as soon as he went back to his own thoughts, that sadness returned. Kakashi probably noticed it as well, even drunk, but the Copy Nin had never been an upfront ‘hey what’s wrong?’ kind of person. 

“You want another?” Genma asked.

Shikamaru turned those dark eyes on him and Genma’s stomach did a little flip-flop. Damn, the Nara men were gorgeous.

“That would be very much appreciated,” Shikamaru said softly.

Genma nodded, “I’ll be right back then.” He stood, saluting everyone. “I got next round.”

To the cheers and thank you’s across the table, Genma made a small bow before he headed to the bar. Kakashi followed, putting a hand on the special jounin’s shoulder for balance. The two stood behind the small group ordering shots, and spoke in low voices.

Kakashi shot a look back at the table, making a small head gesture towards the young Nara. “He makes you hot, doesn’t he?” 

Genma couldn’t stop the smile that pulled at his mouth. “Well, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers. Why? Jealous?” 

“Very.”

Genma snickered, shaking his head. The girl in front of him kept turning and looking at him over her shoulder. He pretended not to notice and slipped his arm around Kakashi’s waist. She got the hint and stopped looking.

Kakashi pressed close, his voice pinching with a whine. “Would you kick me out for eating crackers?”

“No,” Genma shook his head. “I don’t think there’s anything you could do that would make me kick you out of bed.”

“Aw,” Kakashi bumped Genma’s cheek with his masked nose. “That a marriage proposal?”

“Hell no,” Genma grinned.

The group in front of them left with their drinks, but Kakashi pulled away and stepped to the side to let the next couple in line pass. Genma went with it, guessing Kakashi wanted another minute to speak to him alone.

“What’s up?” he asked, his lips close to the Copy Nin’s ear.

Kakashi’s manner had turned serious. His visible eye seemed a little clearer as he leaned in and spoke softly to the special jounin.

“Be careful if you’re going to do what I think you’re going to do.”

Genma frowned. “What?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” Kakashi said softly, doing that utterly adorable head tilt thing. 

Genma felt his face heat, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his reaction to Kakashi’s flirting, or real embarrassment at being caught ogling a twenty year old. “Don’t be stupid, I’m almost old enough to be his dad.”

Kakashi moved in close to speak softly. “Get his mouth around your cock and you won’t notice how old he is.”

Genma closed his eyes, fighting the mental picture. “Shit, that’s all I need right now.” 

Kakashi chuckled, but his manner turned serious again. “I just say be careful because Shikamaru’s going through some stuff right now, and he’s pretty messed up about it.”

The tokujō turned back to the younger man. “Like what kind of stuff?”

Kakashi sighed and slipped his hands into his pockets. He looked up at the ceiling, his eye wandering, searching for something above them.

“Imagine if you and Radou had gotten together before, like, years ago, and started having sex once in a while. Nothing serious, just stress relief now and then. But then that sexual thing sort of dissolved your friendship, so now, instead of Raidou being your best friend that you’re in love with, he’s not you’re friend anymore at all. But you still love him, and you still have mind-blowing, completely superficial sex once in a while. This is all of course while he doesn’t talk to you outside of work and if you try and contact him he disappears on a mission for months.” 

There was no way to disguise the horror in his voice and so Genma just stood shocked and whispered, “What the hell? Who is doing that to him? Can we kill him?” 

Kakashi stepped aside to let another club patron by. “I’ll give you one guess as to who this former best friend is, and no it’s not Chouji.”

Genma made a face, trying to think of who could have been friends with Shikamaru, but then do something so horrible. What kind of person could possibly…

“Oh shit,” Genma breathed, “You’re not talking about Hyūga Neji, are you?”

Kakashi held up his hands. “You guessed it, I didn’t say anything. I am completely innocent.”

Genma rubbed the back of his neck and moved forward to the bar. He waited as Kakashi ordered a round and though about what he had just been told. If it were true—and it probably was; no reason to doubt Kakashi—than Shikamaru was no doubt in tremendous emotional pain. Just thinking about being in that situation with Raidou had made Genma almost physically ill. Now he understood why Shikamaru had torn apart the village to help Genma mend his relationship with is best friend.

“Here,” Kakashi said, handing him several drinks, “Help me carry.”

Returning to the booth, Genma set down the glasses. Kiba and Iruka partook enthusiastically, as did Sai and the others. Anko however stood as Sai went for the drinks. “I have to go to the bathroom. Will you come with me, Ume?”

Ume stood as well, untangling herself from Masaru’s arms. “Yes, let’s go.”

Genma, taking the opportunity, grabbed two of the glasses he had just brought back and motioned to Shikamaru. “You wanna smoke?”

Shikamaru looked at him with lidded eyes. “I’m all out.”

“I got you, let’s go.” He turned and headed for the balcony, confident that Shikamaru would follow.

The air was cool on Genma’s face as he stepped through the doors. He turned and leaned back against the railing, which he sat both glasses on, and pulled out two cigarettes. Shikamaru had indeed followed and accepted the stick with a nod of his head. The two stood side by side, smoking, and watching the club’s patron’s come and go through the balcony doors.

“So,” Shikamaru moved closer to Genma to take one of the drinks, “tonight are you my sensei, ‘the friend that understands’, or ‘the older and much more experienced senpai’ that’s going to lecture me on the dangers of inner office relationships?”

Genma pulled a long drag. He understood Shikamaru’s defensiveness. Hell, hadn’t they been in a similar situation a few days ago? Just reversed?

“I’m just a friend buying you a drink and sharing a smoke. Take it as you like.”

Shikamaru swallowed, studying the inside of his glass as if possible answers were there swirling, mixed with the alcohol. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again. He took a drag. Blew the smoke out slowly, still studying the glass’ contents.

“Sorry…” he said softly.

Genma shook his head. “It’s fine.”

“No,” Shikamaru murmured, “it’s not fine. I was being an asshole. But I’m not sleeping, I’m fucking up left and right at work, I’m making people worry about me… and for what? Nothing.” Another drag and his voice softened as sadness laced through his raspy tenor. “Shit, I was so full of myself that day when I took you to Raidou’s. My moral compass was all the way up, and here I am now…” The Nara’s jaw tightened before he took another drink, swallowing thickly. 

“Here I am, a goddamn hypocrite.”

Genma frowned. “You’re not a hypocrite. Your situation is different.”

Shikamaru finished his drink, set it on the railing. “Maybe,” He took the second glass and drank from it slowly. 

Genma turned his body to rest against his hip. He leaned in close to the Nara and spoke softly. “You know, I never thanked you. I mean, I thanked you, but I never really let you know how much I—”

“It’s okay,” Shikamaru cut him off gently, “I understand. And you should know that I did it to help you, yes. I did it to help Raidou but, I did it mostly for selfish reasons.”

Genma pulled a drag and looked up as he exhaled. “What do you mean?”

Shikamaru sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. The way he stood, it looked as if his burdens had manifested and were sitting on his shoulders. 

“I thought that if I helped Raidou find out what was going on, and got you to own up to what you did, well, I thought if I got you guys to work out things, then I might…” he closed his eyes and let out a breath. “I don’t know, maybe make up for what I’m doing now?”

Genma frowned in confusion, putting a hand on Shikamaru’s arm. “What do you need to make up for? What are you doing now that’s so horrible?”

Shikamaru made a sound that wasn’t quite a laugh, but more of a sob. “I don’t know, “he ran a hand over his face, rubbing his fingers over the light stubble that covered his chin. “Something? I must have done something.”

Genma wanted to shake him, hug him, _anything_ that would knock him out of this uncharacteristic sulk. His heart hurt with sympathy and a horrible kind of understanding. The younger man tossed back another large swallow and, as if knowing inherently what Genma was thinking, turned his tired eyes on the older man once again. The pleading look Genma saw there made him stop and remember how it had felt as Shikamaru had dragged him to Raidou’s house. He remembered the fear and the intense shame, the helplessness that had frozen his muscles. Shikamaru’s situation, though different then Genma’s had been, was in many ways worse. Shikamaru was trapped. His options were live with it, or step away. And really, Genma knew stepping away was no real option. 

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Shikamaru said softly.

Genma nodded and pulled out another two cigarettes. “Okay, what do you want to talk about?”

The Nara finished the drink and set the glass next to the first on the railing. He turned his whole body to Genma and scooted in close, taking the offered cigarette. A playful smile started to break through the despair that had only moments ago covered his face. Shikamaru was nothing if not determined.

“How about: what’s going on with you and Kakashi?”

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Genma lit his cigarette and inhaled slowly. The grin that pulled at his lips was impossible to stop. It turned up the corners of his mouth as if by some unseen hands tugging at his skin.

Genma had known from the start, as had Kakashi, that it would be impossible to hide the fact that they were seeing each other casually. Their friends were ninja after all, they lived their lives watching and observing; trained to notice subtle tells and details from an early age. Nothing was kept a secret in Konoha for long. But that didn’t change the fact that despite his reputation, Genma was a very private person. He was never one to broadcast who he had sex with, and where, and how often like some people. The rumors about the tokujō’s sexual escapades were extensive, but also unsubstantiated. He never officially confirmed or denied anything. No one knew what to believe and what not to believe, so Genma had always lived comfortably in the wide and ambiguous shadow of his legend.

He should have remembered however, that Shikamaru would not only figure it out, but he would do so swiftly and with a hell of a lot more accuracy than most of his other colleagues. The young Nara’s intuition was hardly ever wrong, and his reasoning skills were more than a little uncanny.

Genma let silence stretch between them before he responded. “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Shikamaru snickered. “Oh, sorry, let me remind you then. He’s this tall, kind of lanky ninja with crazy silver hair and a mask? Was all over you a few minutes ago in the club?”

Genma’s eyes opened wide in mock surprise, “Oh yeah, that one.”

“Yes, the one that’s ’burning with the flame of youth’ for you.”

Genma laughed. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t?”

“No,” Genma sucked on the cigarette. “It’s casual, it’s fun. It’s not serious.”

“Oh, I see.” The Nara leaned back against the railing watching the older man through a haze of smoke. He clearly didn’t believe the ‘casual’ part.

Genma’s stomach surprised him by doing a flip-flop. The tips of his fingers tingled, and his lungs suddenly needed air desperately. It was sort of the opposite of a panic attack, if there was such a thing.

“I…” Genma almost laughed when his words caught in his throat. What was the matter with him? “What are you getting at? Are you saying Kakashi is… like he loves me or something? That’s ridiculous.”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “It’s not absurd, but no, I didn’t say he was in love with you. I’m just saying he’s really, really into you. The last time I saw him, he was huddled on Raidou’s roof, watching over you in case things went sour. That goes a little further than just casual sex I think.”

The flutter in Genma’s chest turned into an all-out marching band. “Kakashi was there?” Kakashi had been hiding on the roof? Why? Why hadn’t he said anything?

“Gah…” Shikamaru turned around and leaned his elbows on the railing, “lame…”

“Lame?” Genma almost sputtered, but he managed to keep his tongue from tripping over itself. He took a breath and maintained a somewhat cool exterior. “That doesn’t make any sense. I mean, I knew he didn’t just ‘happen to be there’ but, why follow me like that, and then only show up when I’m trying to burn down a fruit stand?”

Shikamaru turned to him, one of his eyebrows cocked. “Maybe because you were trying to burn down a fruit stand?”

Genma pulled his best deadpan glare and retrieved a senbon from his flack vest. He placed it between his lips; the familiar weight and cold metal against his tongue calming him. He watched a moth fluttering around one of the covered lights above and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“You’re such a brat,” he growled.

Shikamaru smoothed out his grin with his fingers and straightened. “For all I know, he was just being a creep and stalking you. I don’t presume to know anything about why Kakashi does what he does, so you shouldn’t be asking me. I just wanted details.”

It was Genma’s turn to roll his eyes. “Don’t tell me you actually care. Isn’t this all—what’s that word you like to use so often—troublesome?”

Shikamaru crushed out his cigarette and shrugged slowly. “If I get a feeling that two of the hottest ninja in the village are fucking each other, I’m going to do some recon. I need material for later tonight when all I got is a pack of cigarettes, my hands, and a bottle of Easy Glide.”

Genma stood for a moment, trying to put his brain around everything Shikamaru had just said all at once. Not only had the Nara referred to him as one of the village’s hottest ninja, but he had also alluded to masturbation, and using him and Kakashi together as fantasy material. The tokujō had a quick flashback to another time, when he had used another Nara, older and a little rougher around the edges, for the exact same purpose and his face heated in embarrassment. He turned away, knowing it was futile to try and hide, but he couldn’t let himself be seen coming so undone by someone more than fifteen years his junior.

“Oh wow,” Shikamaru drawled from beside him, “Genma-senpai is blushing. I should go buy a lottery ticket or something.” The older man felt the shadow manipulator’s warm breath against the shell of his ear and he shivered.

“What gets you off more? The fact that I think you and Kakashi are hot together? Or is it just the image of me jacking off in general?”

Hadn’t the plan been to get Kakashi to blush and fluster tonight? Hadn’t Genma come here with an agenda to get the Copy Nin out from a slump? How had this all turned around on him so fast he was having trouble breathing? And who did Shikamaru think he was, speaking like that to someone twice his age?

This kid was about a thousand years too early.

Genma slowly calmed himself. He relaxed against the railing and watched Shikamaru watch him with those hooded, yet severe eyes. Eyes a lot like Kakashi’s not even an hour ago when the special jounin had the Copy Nin pinned to the wall.

_Maybe I can’t get enough of you…_

The tokujō wasn’t a pushover; he wasn’t even submissive (most of the time). If Shikamaru thought he was going to play the Top card, then he was about to learn what it was like to try and dominate a Power-Bottom.

“Actually,” Genma said softly, his voice like honey over smooth skin. He watched Shikamaru physically react to it and felt a spike of triumph. “The thought of any Nara jacking off gets me pretty hot. But I have to admit the thought of them squirming while I got their cock in my mouth is a lot better.”

Shikamaru blinked, clearly thrown. His mouth fell open slightly before he murmured, “Really…”

Genma turned, bringing his body close to the younger man’s, but not close enough for them to touch. He tossed his head, sending the few loose hairs that had slipped from his hair tie back from his forehead.

“So, am I right in assuming that you have no plans for tonight after we’re through here?”

Shikamaru swallowed, nodding, dark eyes flashing hungrily. “Right.”

Genma smiled and watched with satisfaction as Shikamaru followed the roll of the senbon across his bottom lip. “I have an idea.”

Shikamaru’s gaze turned wicked.

“Excellent.”

* * *

Legs stretched out, body slumped comfortably into the worn cushions of the couch, Kakashi floated in a pleasant haze of thrumming bass and alcohol. He had blended into the background to watch his friends talk and laugh. He felt most comfortable this way. He made comments here and there that evoked more laughter, but mostly he just listened and observed. He moved aside when Tenzo returned with a stunningly attractive girl with long, copper-colored hair, and stood several times so Anko and Ume could make frequent trips to the bathroom. Girls seriously had the smallest bladders.

Once or twice Kakashi caught himself glancing over at the doors to the balcony. He wasn’t really worried per say, just curious as to what Genma and Shikamaru were talking about. For as lazy and uninterested as Shikamaru appeared, Kakashi knew the young Nara was never actually uninterested. He pulled the long con of laziness and boredom, but in reality Kakashi knew of no one that had an ear firmer to the ground than Shikamaru did.

Then there was the body language. The way Genma leaned into Shikamaru’s space when the Nara spoke into his ear; the way cigarettes were shared and hips brushed as they lit up. The _eye fucking._ If only there was a jutsu that created thought bubbles above people’s heads, Kakashi would never want for porn ever again. Whatever went through Shikamaru’s head when he looked at Genma—like he was looking at him now—was probably freaking epic. Who could argue though? Genma was sex manifested.

“Would you like another, senpai?” Tenzo asked, pushing a glass towards the Copy Ninja without waiting for a response.

“Don’t mind if I do, thanks.” Kakashi took the glass and sipped at it as he watched Shikamaru lean into Genma once again. Whatever he was saying must have been good, because Genma’s face was like a cherry tomato. Who knew he could blush like that?

Kakashi suddenly felt like his pants had gotten smaller.

What was it about Genma that pulled Kakashi in so hard?

And why did Kakashi just let it happen?

Fingers slid over Kakashi's shoulder, catching him off guard. The jounin froze, taking in the sensation of icy cold skin through the thin layer of his shirt. His entire body tensed with almost thirty years of learned survival instincts. His brain worked as fast as it was capable in assessing the situation: Find the exits. Locate all threats. Signal the others.

He hadn’t felt anyone approach, not even the slightest hint of a chakra signature. For an instant, Kakashi wondered if at that moment, he was being visited by a ghost. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Warm breath tickled his ear. A soft voice rumbled against his skin.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Oh, he should have known. He must have been more drunk than he thought. Who else could sneak up on him like that?

Turning slowly, fighting instincts melting away, Kakashi looked up out the corner of his eye. A tall figure in slim, dark jeans stood beside him, watching him carefully from underneath the hood of a black sweatshirt.

“You,” Kakashi slipped back into indolent, drunk speech, “were not supposed to be back for another week. Now I have no time to clean up the house. There’s still leather chaps and pieces of edible underwear all over the place. I think someone even tossed a gag-ball in the fish tank.”

Impossibly dark eyes narrowed as confusion pinched handsome features. “Are you being serious right now?”

Kakashi’s heart gave a horrible pang beneath his ribcage, but he grinned despite. “What do you think?”

Shoulders shrugged. “I don’t ever know for sure.”

Kakashi tugged on the sweatshirt and pulled his visitor down beside him into Genma’s seat. A pale face glanced around wearily, but the others around the seating area were immersed in their own conversations. The Copy Nin watched a hand clench and unclench uncertainly over a knee.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes…” Kakashi ached beneath his ribcage.

“I can’t stay long.”

“I know,” Kakashi replied, sliding an arm around muscled shoulders. He feigned amusement and hid his concern under humor—something he had more practice with than was probably healthy. “But I missed you so much. I thought we could take a few minutes to bond.”

“Tch, right.”

The sound of sarcasm on that voice eased the tightness in Kakashi’s chest. The silver-haired ninja took a small swallow of his drink and studied the face before him. Even for an Uchiha, Sasuke was stunning. His hair was a striking shade of black, glossy, and finer than any Kakashi had ever seen. His skin was flawless over defined features. Every shade, color, every curve and angle was perfection. The boy he had trained so many years ago had grown into a fine young man.

…Which made looking into those dead eyes all the more heartbreaking.

Clearing his throat, Kakashi pushed those thoughts from his head and let his arm slip from Sasuke’s shoulders.

“So?”

“Oh,” Sasuke blinked slowly, “I just came to tell you that second squad completed the mission.”

“Well, obviously if you’re home.”

Sasuke’s brow knotted. “Well, yeah but... I thought I should...”

Kakashi took another swallow, covering a small smile when he replaced his mask. "Sasuke, are you reporting to me?"

He regretted poking fun at the younger man as soon as Sasuke looked away. Confusion and frustration pulled at the lines around the Uchiha's eyes so hard that Kakashi had to physically restrain himself from reaching out and wrapping Sasuke up in a clumsy, half-drunken hug. What Sasuke didn't know, and would perhaps not understand for a long time, was that he was probably here just to let Kakashi know he had come home in one piece. Letting loved ones know they were safe was a normal thing to do, instinctual for most people, but for Sasuke it was still foreign. He had not had family to come home to for the greater half of his life, and now here he was with a guardian, friends, and a lover all at once. Kakashi couldn't even begin to understand how difficult the transition must be.

"I'm just teasing," Kakashi said softly, "I'm glad you stopped by. I heard it went well."

Sasuke's eyes opened, and he turned back to Kakashi with a peculiar look. "Yeah, I think so."

Then Kakashi realized what it was. Sasuke hadn't come here on any suppressed instinctual urge or sense of duty. No, it was much simpler than that. The truth that lay in those endlessly dark eyes was something so innocent and real that Kakashi had to stop and take a breath. He was thankful for the eye patch, because Obito's eye burned as it filled with unshed tears.

This had been Sasuke's first mission as team leader, and he was looking for the one thing that every boy wanted.

He was looking for approval.

More importantly, he was looking for Kakashi's approval.

Reaching out, Kakashi put a hand on Sasuke's head, mussing the Uchiha's hair though the thin cotton of the sweatshirt hood. He smiled, his eye crinkling merrily, and chose his words carefully. "Shikamaru said you guys did awesome. I'm really looking forward to reading the report."

Sasuke came so close to smiling, Kakashi almost stood and clapped himself on the back. He refrained though when the Uchiha paused and looked around once more as if searching for attackers hidden within the throngs of the club goers.

"I have to go," Sasuke said quietly, "the curfew."

Kakashi nodded, pulling the tip of the mask down once more to take another drink. "Go ahead. I won't be home tonight. There's leftovers in the fridge."

Sasuke turned back, his eyes narrowing. "What makes you think I'm going to your place?"

Kakashi grinned beneath the mask and tilted his head the way he knew Sasuke had always hated.

"‘Cause Naruto's there, sleeping in your bed."

Sasuke's expression softened. He looked at the ground. "Oh..." To his shock and delight, the Uchiha’s cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink. "Okay then."

Kakashi chuckled and leaned in to speak softly into Sasuke's ear. "Don't be too rough with him. He's gotta work in the morning."

Sasuke made a face that was somewhere between amusement and distain. How he pulled that off was kind of a mystery to Kakashi, but he let it go. The fact that Sasuke could find any amusement in anything was a really good sign.

Sasuke stood to leave, but Kakashi tugged on his sweatshirt sleeve again.

"Hey," he said seriously.

"Hm?" Sasuke cocked an eyebrow.

"What'd we talk about?"

Sasuke glanced around again, worrying the inside of his cheek. He looked even more embarrassed than he had a moment ago when Kakashi had brought up Naruto.

"Come on..." Kakashi coaxed.

Sasuke sighed and leaned down to speak softly so only Kakashi could hear.

"I uh..." he cleared his throat, "I'm home..."

Kakashi's smile could not have been wider. He raised his glass as Sasuke straightened, feeling that wet burn once again from Obito's eye.

"Welcome back."

* * *

Once Genma let Shikamaru in on the details of his idea, the shadow user decided it was a good time to go grab another drink. He saluted casually, and moved towards the doors with that small half smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. The Nara’s slow swagger as he walked away sent a shiver of longing straight to Genma’s groin.

The tokujō waited a few beats before he let out a long breath. He stood slowly and let his body settle into his customary slouch before he made his way back to his group of friends. Genma thought about Shikamaru’s reactions to his various… propositions, the way the Nara’s eyes widened at the things that fell so easily from Genma’s lips, the sounds Kakashi had made, and what had happened earlier in the restroom.

Genma’s body relaxed, confidence building.

The look on the Copy Nin’s face was going to be priceless.

As Genma reentered the club, he slowed when he saw a tall figure leaning over Kakashi. He was hooded and made a point of keeping his face well hidden, but that only made the special jounin more interested. He didn't recognize the posture, and he couldn't think of anyone with that height and build. Maybe he was a civilian?

No, the way his body moved when he straightened proved he was definitely a ninja, maybe an ANBU from third platoon. Genma didn't know many of the nins from third.

Kakashi met Genma's gaze over the rim of his glass. The Copy Nin's visible eye crinkled and he gesticulated clumsily for Genma to come closer.

"Hey there, Gen," Kakashi slurred. "Welcome back."

"Good God," Genma chuckled. "You're trashed."

The tall ninja in the black sweatshirt stepped aside to let Genma back to his seat. "Excuse me," he said softly.

"No problem, man," Genma said, trying to discreetly get a glimpse of the man's face, but finding it impossible. The guy didn't want to be seen.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Kakashi,” he said, and with that the mysterious guest was gone.

Genma sat, and leaned back on the couch cushions. He watched Kakashi watch him as he drained what was left of his glass through the fabric of his mask.

"That's kind of gross," Genma chuckled.

Kakashi shrugged. "I only dussn’t work with tea."

Genma glanced in the direction Kakashi's strange acquaintance had gone. "So, who was that just now?"

“Nobody,” came the thick reply, “ask me again when I'm not a blubbery mess,"

"What?"

"Never mind. So whuss up?"

Genma shrugged disinterestedly. “Nothing much, Shikamaru’s miserable, I haven’t had enough to drink-”

“—Definitely haven’t had enough to drink,” Kakashi added.

“Thinking I need a change of setting,” Genma continued.

Kakashi looked at him, his visible eye glazed over. “Change of setting?”

Genma nodded, pushing an empty glass around on the table. “Thinking it’s too crowded.”

The Copy Nin set his glass down slowly, turning his body to lean closer into Genma’s space. “What d’you suggest?”

Genma turned his head, finding Kakashi’s masked lips mere centimeters from his own. He breathed slowly, watching as Kakashi’s eye started to clear, to focus on him with such intensity that the blond had no choice but to react to it.

“You have a switch that you can turn your drunk on and off?” Genma chuckled.

Kakashi’s smile was outlined in the dark fabric of his mask. “It’s possible.”

Genma tilted his chin up ever so slightly, gently brushing his nose against Kakashi’s. The Copy Ninja made like he was going to close the distance, but Genma pulled back, a teasing smile drawing up the corners of his mouth.

“Start something here, and I’ll finish it, I promise,” Genma whispered, only semi-serious. “Don’t think I won’t bend you over the table. Remember what I said in the bathroom?”

“I’m okay with it,” Kakashi moved his body closer, eager as a puppy being offered a treat.

Genma snickered. “You’re okay with it when Kiba and Sai are sitting across the table?”

Kakashi blinked. The consequences of his former students and team members seeing him in compromising positions apparently gave him pause.

“Okay yeah, don’t listen to me. I’m drunker than I think I am.”

Genma laughed and scooted closer so that his thigh pressed up against Kakashi’s. He tugged on the front of the Copy Nin’s shirt and whispered into the other man’s ear.

“You wanna get out of here?”

“Is that a trick question?” Kakashi replied.

* * *

Stumbling through Genma’s front door, Kakashi laughed at his complete lack of control of his motor functions. He leaned against the wall as Genma closed the door behind him and slipped an arm underneath the Copy Nin’s. The tokujō didn’t bother turning on the lights, and proceeded directly into the kitchen.

He deposited Kakashi against the sink and moved to retrieve a lantern that sat on the bar separating the kitchen from the living room. He lit the wick with a flick of his lighter and passed back into the hallway to light another lantern, identical to the first.

When he returned to the kitchen, he stopped to chuckle when he found Kakashi pilfering his cabinets. The silver-haired ninja had already found a bottle of sake that was more akin to rubbing alcohol than actual booze, and was reaching up to the top shelf to grab glasses.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Genma leaned against the entry.

Kakashi hummed happily, “Iss not for me.” He filled a glass and held it out to the special jounin. “You’re still not drunk enough.”

Genma smiled and took the drink. He brought the glass to his lips and took a large swallow, watching Kakashi’s visible eye watch him with that same intensity as he had at the bar. He liked it when Kakashi looked at him like that. He liked it a lot.

He used his free hand to reach out and pull at the younger man’s belt. Genma guided the off-balanced ninja to him and turned to settle Kakashi against the counter. He feigned disinterest by looking away and taking another long swallow as he started to deftly undo the buttons on Kakashi’s shirt. He set the empty glass on the counter and pushed the black fabric off the Copy Nin’s shoulders. Kakashi continued to watch him with that half drunk, half starving gaze and Genma felt a little bit of the power he had felt earlier starting to pulse through him once again.

“So,” Genma said quietly, “back to what we were talking about earlier.”

“Mm?” Kakashi tilted his head.

“All this boning you like to imagine us doing.”

“Oh yeah,” Kakashi’s mask stretched with his smile, “Iss actually quite… disstracting sometimes.”

“Really?”

Kakashi nodded. “Yeah, like earlier today, I was ordering udon from that place down the street from the academy, and when the lady asked me if I wanted it to go, I didn’t answer ‘cause I was too busy thinking about smearing ice cream all over your nipples.”

Genma threw back his head and laughed. “What!? Why? How did you come up with that while ordering udon!?”

Kakashi shrugged. “I was thinking about what dessert would go good with the tea I was ordering, and my mind came up with ice cream. But then I was all disappointed ‘cause I didn’t see it on the menu, and then I thought that was fine because ice cream’s kind of boring anyway, and then I started thinking about how to liven up a bowl of just plain ice cream and thought that ice cream served on your chest would be like some kind of forbidden foreign delicacy, or something.”

Genma scratched at his chin. His cheeks were starting to hurt from all the smiling Kakashi made him do whenever they were together.

“You’re crazy,” he said softly, “you know that right?”

Kakashi nodded proudly. “I could go on. Like earlier at the club, I was wondering where you were and got distracted by Iruka leaning over Tenzo with his back all bent weird and stuff, and it got me thinking about the last time we had sex and he wore this crazy gothic lolicon thing. I’m not really into the dressing up thing myself, but I thought that if you wanted me to, I’d totally do it.”

Genma put a hand over his mouth to keep the laughter at bay.

“And then you finally showed up and Sai’s all ‘here, let me brush my crotch against you as I push past’ and I thought how awesome it would be if you ever fucked Sai and let me watch—”

“Okay,” Genma put a hand over Kakashi’s mouth. Hearing his own thoughts verbalized by an intoxicated Copy Nin was doing little to keep himself under control.

“Wow, you have absolutely no brain-mouth filter when you’ve had a few.”

Kakashi shook his head. “On th’ contrary,” the Copy Nin reached up, gently tugging at Genma’s hair band, “Iss got nothing to do with the drinking.”

“Oh, it doesn’t?” Genma’s body pushed Kakashi’s against the counter. He had the younger man where he wanted him, and he was enjoying every second. He let Kakashi know it too, by pressing an unmistakable hardness against the other man’s hip.

Kakashi sighed softly and his one visible eye slipped closed. He let Genma pull the eye patch from his brow, and arched when the tokujō pushed his undershirt up over his chest. He raised his arms as Genma pulled the top completely off, leaving him in only his jeans and mask.

Genma slid his hands down Kakashi’s chest; let his fingertips play in the thin line of silver curls just above the Copy Nin’s jeans. Because all times Genma had been with Kakashi previously, he had not yet seen the other man’s body. His eye had been covered the first times, and earlier in the club there hadn’t been a lot of time for reflection. Now Genma let himself touch and caress every inch, every scar and expanse of smooth, pale skin he had missed. He slid his hands down Kakashi’s hips, the sharp contours accented by the gentle flickering of the lamp light. Catching the top of his jeans under his thumbs, the special jounin pulled the denim down the younger man’s thighs. Genma lowered his head, and slowly followed with his lips where his fingers had touched. He left a wet trail over tensing muscle, and smiled in satisfaction when Kakashi started making small, whimpering noises.

A proud erection stood over a bed of trimmed silver. Genma ran his palms over the taut flesh, wrapping his fingers around the long shaft. Kakashi groaned as the special jounin thumbed the slit gently. His hand pumped the Copy Nin with slow, even strokes, letting the tension build. He felt Kakashi shaking under his hands and his smile widened against pale skin.

He lifted Kakashi and set him on the edge of the counter. The Copy Nin whined, “Iss cold…” as Genma pulled his jeans the rest of the way off his legs.

Genma chuckled and pulled the other man’s legs apart, sliding in between muscled thighs. “It’s okay, you won’t notice in a second.”

“I don’t know,” Kakashi said, his voice still thick from the alcohol. “This tile iss really freezing, and my ass is really sens—ah—sensitive.”

Genma almost laughed at the Copy Nin’s sudden verbal derailment. As his tongue ran up the underside of Kakashi’s cock, the younger man’s hands fumbled for purchase on the edge of the countertop. Pleased with how this was going, Genma wrapped his hand around the base of Kakashi’s shaft and slid his lips over the smooth head. The younger man made another whimpering noise and Genma happily continued, trying to illicit more of that sound from Kakashi’s throat.

Genma liked the Copy Nin’s taste, his smell; the feel of him as he trembled beneath the special jounin’s hands and tongue. He felt fingers in his hair again, and a tug as Kakashi pulled the band free. Genma’s dirty blond locks fell around his face, making a curtain that the Copy Ninja quickly brushed back with his hands. Genma sucked the swollen flesh expertly while pressing and stroking the underside with his thumb. His tongue curled around the pulsing vein, sliding slowly but firmly up and down, again and again, building pressure, undoing, unraveling…

When Kakashi’s breathing turned ragged and the tugs on his hair became painful, Genma released the Copy Nin’s length and trailed wet kisses up toned abs. He gripped Kakashi’s thighs, grinding against the erection he had so thoroughly tormented. Kakashi’s arms went around his neck. Masked lips found his throat but did little more than breathe heavily against his skin.

Genma lowered his mouth to Kakashi’s ear and murmured softly. “Got you riled up?”

“Oh yeah,” Kakashi panted. “What’re you gonna do to me now?”

Genma pulled away gently, the smallest of smiles playing at the corners of his mouth. He slid his hands into his pockets and took a few steps back, leaving Kakashi posed provocatively on the edge of the countertop; his pale skin glowed like fine silk in the flickering light.

“I personally am not going to do much…” Genma hummed, watching the shadows dance over all that stretched muscle.

Kakashi tilted his head to the side, his brow furrowing in confusion. “What?”

Genma tried to keep himself from gaping as Kakashi’s body slowly was enveloped by those flickering shadows. He had known it was coming—he had even suggested it—but to actually see it firsthand, was quite the trip.

Both Kakashi’s eyes snapped open when he realized what was happening. He struggled for only a fraction of a moment before he relaxed and let the jutsu take over his movements. His eyelids fell and he watched Genma’s face as he was caught in a complex shadow bind. Ribbons of darkness covered the Copy Nin’s body, wrapping around his limbs and coiling around his torso. Kakashi’s head fell back, and his back arched as he groaned softly.

Slim, tanned fingers emerged from the darkness surrounding Kakashi and slid over a pale shoulder and down the Copy Nin’s chest. Long legs appeared on either side of Kakashi’s hips, and a lean body pressed up against the jounin’s back. Genma could make out the Nara’s lips before anything else became distinct. The shadow user’s tongue flicked out, teasing the shell of Kakashi’s ear. The Copy Nin gasped and arched harder against the binding.

When his face was finally revealed in the lamp light, Shikamaru’s dark eyes turned to Genma and he smiled playfully.

“Damn,” Kakashi gasped, “this is the second time today I’ve been snuck up on. I’m losing my edge.”

“No,” Shikamaru said quietly into silver hair, “you’re not losing it. You were just… distracted.” He glanced up again and this time Genma mirrored his smile.

Kakashi seemed to tense, his body straightening slightly. Genma figured this was a response to Shikamaru possibly tightening the shadow bind.

“Shit,” the Copy Nin murmured. “I don’t know if I should be scared, or just really, really excited.”

Shikamaru bent his head, running his lips along the top of Kakashi’s shoulder. Genma felt his knees go weak at the simple, yet tremendously erotic gesture. His cock jumped in the confines of his jeans, and he suddenly wondered if he had the stamina—not to mention the self-control—to keep up with these two.

“I would say both, Kakashi-senpai,” Shikamaru drawled, “definitely a little of both.”

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

There were too many hands. It already seemed like Shikamaru was touching him everywhere, but then the shadows started to caress Genma’s skin along with the real flesh of the Nara’s fingers, and the older tokujō was torn between freezing and staring in shock, or letting his head fall back and just _writhing_. 

However, when the dark tendrils of Shikamaru’s jutsu caressed over Genma’s thighs and curled in and around his balls, he sighed in defeat and decided the pleasure outweighed the strangeness. His back arched and his arousal ground against Shikamaru’s stomach. The younger man held him in his lap, Genma’s fingers slid through the few strands of dark hair that had slipped from the Nara’s pony tail. Flesh and blood hands were hot as they gripped at his hips. Lips were scorching as they trailed up Genma’s chest. Kakashi had been right: once Shikamaru’s mouth was on you, you forgot how old he was.

Shikamaru had made quick work of Genma’s clothing before they even made it to the bedroom. The trail of t-shirt, jeans, and underwear was almost funny as it lay in the hallway, quickly tossed aside without a thought. Genma had found it slightly more difficult to rid Shikamaru of his clothing, (even underneath his civilians the man stood on tradition and wore the trademark Nara mesh) but, naturally, it hadn’t impeded the older man for long. 

Genma had also been surprised by how much metal pierced the flesh hidden every day beneath Shikamaru’s uniform. Nipples, navel, scrotum, and cock head, all held small, silver barbells. The visual effect the metal had against the tanned skin was positively mouthwatering.

“Your mom know you have these?” Genma teased as he flicked a nipple with his pointer finger.

Shikamaru smirked. His eyes were hazy after finishing the bottle Kakashi had found in the kitchen. “Probably, but what’s she gonna do? I’m in a rebellious phase.”

Genma snickered and bent to cover one piercing with his tongue. Shikamaru hissed quietly, released Genma’s hips, and leaned back on his hands. Genma moved to the opposite nipple and teased it the same as the first.

“You gonna give all my piercings the same attention?” Shikamaru asked. The smile was obvious in his voice.

“Of course,” Genma answered softly, “that’s what they’re there for.” He looked up through his lashes as he trailed his lips down the Nara’s toned stomach. “Or maybe for you they’re just for show?”

Shikamaru’s eyes flashed as Genma flicked the bar through his navel. “No. I plan on putting a few of them to good use here in a few minutes.”

Genma grinned with the stud between his teeth, “Promise?”

Shikamaru’s fingers were in his hair, brushing loose bangs from his brow. The Nara’s smile was soft and lazy, barely there on his lips at all.

“You should turn around and face him,” Shikamaru said softly. “He’ll squirm.”

Genma chuckled and complied by rising up and repositioning himself so that he was straddling Shikamaru backwards. He faced the man sitting a few feet away and licked his lips as he leaned back against the Nara’s hard body.

Eyelids heavy, back slouched, cock stiff and red, Kakashi sat on the footlocker against the bedroom wall. His hands were still bound by Shikamaru’s shadow jutsu, the ribbons of darkness standing out in stark contrast against the lightness of his skin. He looked as if he were being held with cuffs and wrapped in leather straps, ready for flogging. Genma almost chuckled as he thought what Iruka would say if he saw Kakashi right now.

“I like him like this,” Shikamaru breathed into his ear. Genma felt those hands trail up his sides. The shadows followed, caressing him like ghost fingers over his hips and stomach.

Genma shivered. He loved the way Kakashi’s eye watched them; flashing in the flickering light of the lamps. Being tied up, the Copy Nin’s survival instincts were no doubt kicked into overdrive, but he sat perfectly still, just watching. Genma had felt the way the jounin’s body reacted to his forceful assault earlier in the restroom, and he had come to the conclusion that Kakashi got off on relinquishing control. He had to live with being the best, one of the most powerful ninja in Konoha every day, so when he could, he liked giving the power over to someone else.

And then, of course, there was the fact that _everyone_ knew Kakashi was a voyeuristic pervert.

Genma shifted again, raising his knees to give the jounin a better view. He trailed a hand down his stomach, brushing through jutsu’ed shadow. He slid fingers down past his manhood and started to tease the sensitive skin just above his anus. His eyes never left Kakashi’s and to his delight, the great Copy Nin lost just a little of his composure. His visible eye widened and, ever so slightly, he pulled against the shadow restraints. 

“Mm,” Shikamaru’s lips brushed Genma’s jaw, “this was a good plan.”

“Thank you,” Genma smiled, and then gasped as shadow hands slithered up his cock. The phantom touches became more potent as they wrapped themselves around the straining flesh. They stroked and caressed, trembled and pulsed. It felt like a hand job, a blow job, and the warm inside of someone’s body all at the same time. Genma let his head fall back onto Shikamaru’s shoulder and he groaned in appreciation.

“How do you do that?” he whispered.

“What?” Shikamaru’s tongue flicked the shell of the older man’s ear.

Genma brought a hand to his mouth and carelessly wet his fingertips. He grinned at the look Kakashi threw him before lowering his fingers back to his puckered entrance. He teased the jounin, spreading his legs wider and slipping a finger inside himself.

“How can you hold him and do this to me at the same time?” 

“Mm,” he felt Shikamaru shrug behind him, “not that difficult if you know how to partition off parts of your brain.” Genma felt the younger man grip him beneath his knees and spread his legs even wider. “This is pretty tame, actually.”

Genma slipped another finger inside himself. “Really…”

“Yeah…” Shikamaru’s voice had taken on a raspy edge. The Nara’s mouth latched onto Genma’s neck just below his jaw. His teeth clamped down on the skin, but not hard enough to create a mark. He followed the soft bite with a long lick of his tongue and a graze of his bottom lip.

Genma responded by arching again and tilting his head. This gave Shikamaru better access to his throat and even more of a dominating position.

“Show me,” Genma said softly.

Shikamaru bit the skin between Genma’s neck and shoulder, much harder than the first time. “Sure you can handle it?”

Genma snickered and planted his feet on the mattress. He put a hand up and gripped the nape of Shikamaru’s neck. Grinding back, he felt the Nara’s pierced arousal slip along his clef. He rolled his hips and shuddered when he heard the younger man’s quiet grunt of approval.

“You know,” Genma turned his head to murmur against Shikamaru’s chin, “you’re cute that you think you could be too much for me.”

He felt a hand in his hair before the Nara pulled back his head. Teeth scraped his jaw for a moment and more hands slid down his stomach. Lots of hands. Too many hands. Genma felt himself pitching forward, but his own hands caught him before he landed face down on the sheets.

Genma’s body moved. His back arched, his knees spread, the hand that had been pleasuring himself, reached around behind him and continued with what it had been doing moments ago. His middle finger slid into him, teased him; prodded his hot insides with a vulgar invasiveness. He felt his head turn and look at the Nara over his shoulder. 

Shikamaru watched the erotic display with his hands laced behind his head and a lazy smile pulling at his lips. The brunette’s piercing eyes were hot, hot like the shadows manipulating Genma’s movements. Genma chuckled as he was finger-fucked by the Nara with his own fingers.

“Impressive,” he purred. “Can you make Kakashi dance too?”

The Nara smirk turned into a sly smile. Genma heard shifting from in front of him and his head turned forward once again. Kakashi stood motionless, one hand hanging at his side, the other resting at his hip. However the pale skin of his toned body looked frantic with motion. The shadows slithered all over every inch of that creamy expanse. They pulsed and pulled until the Copy Nin moved forward, climbing onto the bed, his heavy cock inches from Genma’s lips.

Shikamaru moved behind Genma. The tokujō heard the drawer to his night stand slide open. “This is where this all gets a little tricky,” the Nara drawled. “To do any more, I need your explicit approval.”

Genma understood. Tying up, gagging, or blindfolding someone was one thing, but actually manipulating the body was something entirely different. This was a new set of rules and a completely new territory that needed to be carefully negotiated before acting out.

He licked his lips and turned his head when Shikamaru let him. He looked at the Nara through his lashes, seriousness softening his voice.

“You have my permission,” he said. “You can do whatever you want with me.”

Shikamaru rolled the salve he had retrieved from the drawer between his fingers. His gaze was calm and infinitely calculating as he studied the container.

“Sure?”

Genma nodded slowly. “I trust you, Shikamaru.”

The Nara’s gaze rose to meet his, and Genma was shocked to see the pain that pinched the corners of those dark eyes. The look was only there for a moment, but that was all it took. Genma has seen it, and he wouldn’t soon forget it.

Shikamaru nodded and turned his attention to Kakashi. He smiled softly and tilted his head to the side playfully.

“And I’ve already gotten yours, haven’t I, Kakashi- _san_?”

Kakashi only grunted in response. If Genma hadn’t been slightly versed in Kakashi-speak, he might not have caught how that particular grunt would have been like a giggle from most other people.

“Get to it, Nara,” the Copy Nin murmured around a grin. “My dick’s starting to hurt.”

Genma saw a flash of teeth from Shikamaru before he was on his back. Shadow hands pulled at his hands, spread his legs, and tilted his head back. He had only a moment to marvel at the power of the shadow jutsu before Kakashi’s body came down over his. Genma’s hands went to Kakashi’s arousal and guided the long shaft into his mouth. He felt the jounin mimic his movements with his own cock and almost screamed at the sensation. Usually, this position was difficult for Genma. He loved a good blowjob, but he had found that trying to enjoy one while giving one was almost impossible. This way, however, he wasn’t really doing anything. Shikamaru’s jutsu was doing all the work, so he was able to enjoy Kakashi’s length in his mouth, but also focus on the divine way the Copy Nin was sucking on his own. It was all the pleasure without the muscle strain.

He was going to have to get Shikamaru drunk more often.

When Kakashi’s mouth left his cock and moved to lick across his entrance, Genma wanted to cry out. He wanted to arch and hiss and thrash his head from side to side, but his body was not his own. He felt himself try and move, but his muscles didn’t respond. Kakashi’s mouth tormented his anus while the Copy Nin’s—or maybe they were Shikamaru’s—hands pumped his cock. The pleasure built up with no way for Genma to relieve the rapidly mounting tension in his loins. His orgasm was mounting and there was no way to hold it back or slow it down. 

He felt himself come. The orgasm washed over him like an ocean tide. He screamed in his head, thrashing only in his mind as his mouth steadily sucked Kakashi’s cock. The hot length pulsed once, and the fruits of Kakashi’s orgasm hit Genma’s tongue and slid down the back of his throat. The jutsu allowed him to swallow, suck, and breathe through his nose without strain through the after effects of his own release. The experience was surreal, out of body, and sent the tokujō’s head reeling.

“Oh fuck…” Kakashi was gasping over him. “Shit… Shit, you’re awesome, Shikamaru.”

“I know,” Shikamaru said lazily. Genma watched him as he got to his knees, fingers coated with the salve. He made a small motion with his free hand, and Kakashi moved off Genma. “We’re not done yet though.”

Genma glanced down at his glistening sex. He was still hard. Tendrils of shadow were wrapped tightly around his length and sack like a make-shift cock ring. He had come, but hadn’t ejaculated. Shikamaru thought of everything apparently—not really that big of a surprise. 

The young Nara moved in between Genma’s spread legs and lowered his hand to Genma’s erection. He slicked the turgid flesh with a small amount of salve and used what was left on his fingers to slide carefully inside Genma’s already twitching entrance. Wiping his hand on the sheets, he backed off, resting against the headboard, and made another small gesture.

“Been waiting for this all night,” the Nara licked his lips.

Kakashi moved then, turning to face Genma and straddling the older man’s hips. His mask had been pulled back up, and for a moment, Genma was stricken with a flash of jealousy that maybe Shikamaru had seen Kakashi’s face. Maybe he had asked when they had been together before?

No. Genma reconsidered his thought as his legs bent and his hands went to Kakashi’s hips. Shikamaru didn’t seem like the type to ask at all. He probably never would.

The Copy Ninja watched Genma’s face. That intense scrutiny was back in full. The blond didn’t know how to react sometimes when he was hit with that look. He wanted to recoil like he had been physically shoved, but at the same time, he wanted to smile, to cry, to scream. Kakashi’s body moved over Genma’s cock, he took the length in his hand and sank down. Genma felt that same need to move or thrash about, but his body went against him and began to thrust up evenly.

As he watched the shadows writhe over Kakashi’s skin and his own, Genma was hit with the realization that for the first time, he could actually _see_ the Copy Nin. The tokujō watched in amazement as Kakashi’s hips rolled. He marveled as the muscles in the other’s torso and thighs fleshed and shifted. He was exquisite. He was perfection. He was dangerous and beautiful and far, far too enticing. 

Genma faintly heard the sound of plastic tearing and looked at Shikamaru as the Nara moved up behind Kakashi. The tokujō heard the distinct sound of a condom snapping, and then Shikamaru lifted his eyes and attention back to the two older men. His fingers found Kakashi’s throat, the shadows parted, and the Copy Nin’s body stilled so Shikamaru could caress the silver-haired ninja’s skin.

“All of you submits but this,” the Nara murmured quietly, his lips pushing through sweaty hair to graze across the scarred eyelid. “Such control…” He moved slowly, slipping between Genma’s legs and sliding his knees underneath Genma’s thighs. He wrapped an arm around Kakashi’s waist, the other disappeared between the two and Genma felt the press of Shikamaru’s head against his anus. 

“Should I let you go?” Shikamaru asked.

Kakashi shivered so hard it rocketed through him and into Genma. The tokujō gasped and struggled against his immobile body. The idea of fucking and being fucked at the same time without having to work was very appealing, but he ached to touch Kakashi the way he wanted.

Apparently, Kakashi was thinking something similar. He groaned and whispered softly to be released, and when the shadows fled, his leaned forward and his hands went immediately to Genma’s chest.

Genma wasted no time celebrating his freedom. When he felt his control return to his body, he reached for Kakashi’s half-hard cock. The Copy Nin made a noise that was something between a whine and a sob, and started to move his hips again. Satisfied, Genma lifted his legs, wrapped them around Shikamaru’s waist, and pulled the younger man into him. The Nara growled in approval, and slid his hands forward to grip the inside of Kakashi’s thighs.

With the help of Shikamaru’s shadows supporting Genma’s lower back, the three moved easily together as one. Shikamaru thrust slow and powerful into the older tokujō, and his movements set the pace for Kakashi as he rolled over Genma’s hips. The view was fantastic. Genma watched the Copy Nin’s hair, darkened and heavy with sweat, fall over his face. He arched into Shikamaru with every thrust, and the young Nara took full advantage of every bit of pale skin he could reach. Already Kakashi’s neck below the mask was blossoming with small red marks.

Then, abruptly, Shikamaru changed the pace. His thrusts came slower, but the motions were more forceful, much harder. He moved one hand to join Genma’s on Kakashi’s renewed erection. The Nara stroked the Copy Nin with him, the young man’s lip quirking at the delicious sounds his touch tore from Kakashi’s throat. 

Genma, loving the slow, steady pound, reached up with his free hand and held fast to the edge of the mattress. There was nothing to compare with this. He felt violated, but almost euphoric at the same time; pain, but intense pleasure as well coursed through him so thick he was dizzy. He felt the scrape of Kakashi’s blunt nails on his chest, and the metal of Shikamaru’s piercing as it hit the clef of his ass every time the younger man pushed into him. He felt another orgasm building in his lower gut, and gasped at the pressure of Kakashi tightening around his erection. He squeezed his legs around Shikamaru’s waist, and the youngest of them made a panting, groaning sound that Genma knew so well. Shikamaru was close.

Using his free hand, Shikamaru pushed on Kakashi’s back, pressing the jounin forward, repositioning him over Genma. The Copy Ninja brought his masked lips close and rested both hands on either side of the special jounin’s head. Looking up into that one grey eye, seeing that intensity up close, Genma suddenly felt very exposed and more naked then he had been a moment before. He felt stripped of not just his clothes, but his skin, his muscle, and his bones. He felt Kakashi could see his soul and what was waiting there for him was not something Genma wanted to deal with just yet. He brought his hand to the Copy Nin’s face and brushed the sweaty, silver hair back. Kakashi was coming to his peak as well, Genma could feel it building is his body and in his chakra. Shikamaru felt it too and straightened and started to move faster, his hips making a loud ‘smack’ every time they hit Genma’s thighs. Tension coiled, the heat between the three mounted. Sweat coated Genma’s skin, and his heart raced faster with every soft ‘ _ah!_ ’ that escaped from between Kakashi’s lips.

And then the Copy Nin did something unexpected. He moved one of his hands to cup Genma’s cheek, his thumb caressing over the tokujō’s chin. He leaned in close, his breath puffing through the mask and over Genma’s mouth.

“Say you want to see my face,” he whispered breathlessly.

Genma was almost hurled into orgasm by just those simple words and he didn’t even know why. “Ah… what?” he panted.

Kakashi’s voice shook as his cloth-covered lips brushed Genma’s.

“Tell me… you want to see my face. Please…”

Genma’s eyes slipped closed as he felt himself breaking apart. He shook his head. “Not… ah, not yet…” He started coming inside Kakashi, the jounin’s words ringing in his ears. Shikamaru growled low and fierce, pulsing inside him at the same time. 

Kakashi said nothing, but moved his hand to cover Genma’s eyes. The special jounin whimpered as he felt Kakashi’s naked lips press against his own the same moment the Copy Nin’s cock throbbed in his hand. Warmth splashed over Genma’s stomach and he shuddered as he came down from his own release. No one moved for a few seconds, they just gasped and groaned and shuddered together.

Shikamaru moved to break away first, pulling out of Genma slowly and lowering himself to the bed beside him. Kakashi kissed Genma once more before he moved away and removed his hand from the older man’s eyes. He lifted himself off Genma’s withering cock and stretched out on his stomach. Genma could do nothing but breathe. He tried to compose himself, but every muscle in his body was still shaking from the intensity of his orgasm.

“I’m so spent right now, I don’t think I’ll ever need sex again,” Kakashi commented.

Shikamaru made a noise and rolled to the edge of the bed. He slowly sat up and let his feet over the side to rest on the floor. “I got a ryō that says you’re gonna want to fuck Genma again in less than an hour.” 

“Not happening,” Genma groaned. “There isn’t a word for how satisfied I am right now.”

Shikamaru chuckled softly and stood. He went to the hallway, grabbed Genma’s pants, and pulled the cigarette pack and lighter from the pocket. The two older ninja said nothing as he strode naked, back through the bedroom to the balcony doors and slipped outside.

“He’s fucking beautiful,” Genma said quietly.

“I know,” Kakashi murmured into his elbow. 

Genma turned his head and studied the Copy Nin. He dozed quietly, his breathing soft and even as he lay stretched out beside the special jounin. Several parts of him were touching the tokujō’s skin: his arm, his leg, his hip. Genma wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not, but he liked it.

“You’re beautiful too, you know,” Kakashi said after a long stretch of silence.

Genma scoffed and turned away. “Shut up. What are we now, boyfriends?”

Kakashi chuckled. “What? I can’t tell you you’re beautiful? How sad.”

Turning to his side, Genma studied what wasn’t hidden beneath the jounin’s mask. “Why don’t you just show me your face?”

Kakashi made a soft noise. He closed his eyes and burrowed into his folded arms. “Can we just forget I said that? I was really caught up in the moment.”

“It’s okay,” Genma said, surprised that Kakashi was embarrassed. 

“No, I’m sorry. It just sort of slipped out.”

“Don’t apologize,” Genma frowned, “that makes it sound like it was wrong.”

Kakashi lifted his head and caught Genma’s gaze. He held it for a few seconds before he shifted so he was lying on his back. He sighed and ran a hand through his disheveled hair.

“It’s just weird…” he murmured.

“What’s weird?” Genma asked.

“You’re weird.”

“What!?” the older man laughed, “Fuck you, what are you talking about?”

Kakashi chuckled as well. “I’ve never been with anyone—boyfriend, girlfriend, fuck buddy, whatever—that lasted as long as you. Asking about the mask, I mean.” The silver-haired ninja ran a finger over his unscarred eyelid as he suppressed a yawn. 

Genma bit his lip, wondering if his next question was dangerous or not. “It bothers you?”

Kakashi shook his head. “No. Not anymore. It used to be a big deal, but after the fight with the Akatsuki a few things changed. I didn’t get so angry when I looked at myself. It’s more of a necessity now than anything else. I wouldn’t be as ‘hip and cool’ without it.”

Genma snorted at the Guy-ism.

“I have to think of the village ladies as well,” Kakashi crooned. “If I started walking around all day with my face exposed, they might all die from the perfection that is my face.”

Genma laughed into the sheets. 

“I’m serious!” Kakashi feigned exasperation. “These looks could kill!”

“You’re dumb,” Genma smiled. He slid a palm over the jounin’s bare chest without thinking. The touch seemed so natural.

“So you’ve told me,” Kakashi’s mask outlined his smile as he brushed a few hairs from Genma’s forehead. He lapsed into another long silence as he studied the special jounin’s face. The look wasn’t as intense as it had been during their sex, but it still pulled Genma in. The tokujō stared back, wondering if he should lean in and kiss the Copy Nin or not.

“Why don’t you ask?” Kakashi whispered.

The question caught Genma off guard, but only for a moment. He had already thought through his answer.

“Because the moment hasn’t been right,” he said softly. “I understand it’s not really a big deal to you anymore, but your face has always been this crazy mystery to me. I’ll ask when I feel it’s a good time. For now I want to, I don’t know, savor it, I guess.”

Kakashi watched him for a moment before he leaned in and pressed his masked lips against Genma’s. He rolled so Genma was lying on his back once again, and Kakashi had half of his weight on top. 

“You’re so awesome, Genma,” Kakashi did a very good impression of Guy’s voice. “Let’s get married!”

Genma hollered with laughter and pushed the Copy Nin off him. “You’re such an idiot!”

“Aww,” Kakashi whined, “but Genma, I _wuv you!_ ”

From outside, Shikamaru’s lazy drawl carried in through the sliding door.

“You guys are disgusting.”

Genma laughed and rolled to his stomach. His lower back ached a little and the dull throb in certain other places made him wince inwardly. It wasn’t a bad pain, but it would make itself known for the next couple days.

Kakashi lay back down beside him, closing his eyes. He traced shapes onto the skin of Genma’s lower back with the tops of his fingertips. The two ninja returned to that comfortable silence and after a while Genma felt himself drifting off.

Suddenly however, a flash of half-asleep insight had Genma pushing up on his elbows. “Kakashi?” the special jounin asked, fully awake once again. “Kakashi, can I ask you something?” 

“Mm?” the Copy Nin grunted. “Sure.”

“Tonight at the club when I came back inside after talking to Shikamaru, there was someone at the booth talking to you.”

Kakashi’s eye opened and it rolled slowly to look at Genma’s face. He detected nothing in the way the jounin lay that said he should back off. Kakashi must have known what he was going to ask, but he waited patiently for the tokujō to say the words.

“Was that…” Genma scratched at his chin. “Was that who I think it was?”

Kakashi nodded slowly. “It was.”

Genma blinked. “I thought he was under confinement in the compound.”

Kakashi nodded again. “He was, for a while.”

“They have him on some kind of service status?” 

“Sort of,” Kakashi rubbed at his eye again. “It’s complicated, and pretty highly classified. You’d have to get clearance from the supervisor.”

Genma nodded. “Yeah, I figured. Sucks being deactivated.”

Shikamaru, who had moved to sit against the outer wall, pushed the door open further with his foot. He didn’t look at them as he puffed on his cigarette.

“I don’t fucking care.”

Genma turned back to Kakashi as the Copy Nin chuckled.

“Guess you have the supervisor’s clearance.” 

Smiling, Genma turned back to the silver-haired nin. He rested on his elbow and put his head in his hand. “So what’s going on? How did Uchiha Sasuke get the okay to move around freely in Konoha?”

Kakashi sighed. “You know that knew research the medics are doing that suppresses the chemical imbalance in schizophrenic patients?”

“I think so,” Genma said quietly. “I heard that they were working on ways to block the relapses that some ninjas have with post-traumatic stress experience. They wanted to keep them effective in the field.”

“That’s exactly what they were doing.”

“But I heard the technique also suppresses chakra and they couldn’t seem to separate the two. That made the research ineffective so they dropped it.”

Kakashi shook his head. “They didn’t.”

Genma’s eyebrows lifted. “Really…”

Kakashi turned to his side and pillowed his head on his arm. Genma mimicked the movement so the two of them were eye to eye on their sides, inches from each other on the spread of warm sheets.

“After Tsunade-baba stepped down as Hokage, she got with a team of ANBU medics to do further study on the project. They proved that suppressing a chemical balance in the brain was impossible without significantly crippling the subject’s chakra. But,” Kakashi’s voice dropped as he continued, “they discovered, sort of by accident actually, that the same methods in dealing with chemical suppression could be used in emotional suppression.”

Genma frowned. “Not following.”

“They brought in a couple Hyūga, and with their unique knowledge of chakra flow and tenketsu, Tsunade and the other researchers were able to suppress feeling by blocking certain nodes in the brain. Now ninja with post-traumatic stress can have a quick procedure done that blocks the specific part in their brain that feels the anxiety towards the traumatic event.”

Genma looked away, taking all the information in. He rolled to his back and ran his fingers across his lips. “So it’s kind of like when someone takes medication for depression?”

“Yes,” Kakashi said, “almost exactly like that. Except this way, you don’t have to worry about taking any pills or overdosing or under-dosing or anything like that.”

Genma frowned and turned he head to the Copy Nin. “And this isn’t dangerous? Blocking chakra nodes in the brain?”

“It doesn’t sound like it,” Shikamaru stepped inside at that moment, and moved across the room to retrieve his pants and mesh shirt from the floor. “What they do isn’t invasive. They’re not actually blocking the emotion or stopping an actual chemical flow. They’re just impairing the ability to _feel_ the emotion. It’s like a potent drug with zero side effects.”

Genma twisted to look at the Nara as he pulled on his clothes. “And the Hyūga are the ones that do the procedure? Are they cool with all this?”

Shikamaru went still as he was pulling on his shirt. His back was to them, but Genma could see the tension in the younger man’s shoulders. After a moment, however, the brunette shook his head and looked around for his shirt. 

“Of course they’re cool with it. The Hyūga clan has always been cool with suppression.”

“Shikamaru…” Kakashi said softly.

“It’s okay,” the Nara lifted his shirt from the floor and moved to sit on the bed. “Anyway, I think the procedure is a good thing in some cases.” His brow furrowed and he shook his head, “If the subject consents, of course. I don’t think we should do it if they refuse. They’re pushing for mandatory procedure for all ninja exhibiting any kind of emotional distress and I think that’s fucked up.”

“God,” Genma breathed.

“It won’t happen,” Kakashi assured him. “Naruto would bring down all the fires of hell on the counsel before he let them pass a law like that.” 

“Yeah,” Shikamaru said softly.

“So,” Genma’s head spun, “they did this to Sasuke?”

Kakashi nodded. “His rage and his guilt were so great, we weren’t sure if he’d be able to cope with everything. They offered him the chance to stay out of prison if he volunteered to be the first human test subject. Most of what the counsel was worried about in his case, was him regressing and letting loose on the village anyway.”

Shikamaru nodded. “With the procedure, he’s rendered relatively harmless. He also makes the perfect weapon. He knows the difference between right and wrong, but has no emotional bias to anything.” The Nara shook his head. “Not to mention he’s a hell of a lot less troublesome now.”

Genma let out a long breath. He understood, but that didn’t make the knowledge any less horrifying.

“So, he’s just going to live like that for the rest of his life?”

“No,” Kakashi said firmly. “Hell no. I won’t let them do that. Neither will Naruto.”

Genma lay still, watching the shadows of the trees outside play across the wall and ceiling. “Does he feel anything now?”

“Very little,” Kakashi answered. “Mostly just frustrated.”

Genma closed his eyes, “That’s so awful.”

Shikamaru grumbled as he rose from the mattress. “We don’t like it either, but the alternative was keeping him sealed in an underground cell for the rest of his life.”

“Or execution,” Kakashi breathed softly.

“Yeah,” Shikamaru sighed, “or execution.”

“Well, I guess it’s great then,” Genma snorted sarcastically. “How is Naruto dealing with all of this?”

Kakashi chuckled. “He’s so happy Sasuke’s back and living with him he’s pushed the finer, more delicate details aside for now.”

“That’s very mature of him.”

“Yeah, well, notice I said ‘for now’. I’m sure he’ll think of something real soon that gets Sasuke released and cured, and manage to destroy a couple buildings all at the same time.”

“Aw,” Genma smiled. “Love just isn’t love anymore without some destruction.”

“Cheers.”

Genma noticed Shikamaru slip out the door and head silently into the kitchen. He inclined his head in the same direction when Kakashi glanced over at him.

“Do you think he’ll be alright?”

Kakashi nodded. “He’s tougher than most. That’s why he’s the boss.” The Copy Nin rolled once again to press his body up against the tokujō’s. “And don’t worry; he’s always moody after sex.”

“Always?” Genma asked incredulously. “How many times have you two had sex?”

Kakashi shrugged, “More than me and you, but less than me and Iruka.”

Genma growled playfully and pushed the Copy Nin onto his back. He pressed the jounin’s arms into the mattress and hovered over the younger man’s covered lips.

“Well, we’ll just have to fix that, won’t we?” 

Kakashi’s grin was unmistakable. “Hell yes.” 

In the kitchen, Shikamaru tipped the last of the water from the glass into his mouth. He listened to Genma’s soft murmurings and rolled his eyes as the bed hit against the wall. He looked at the clock and shook his head. He had guessed less than an hour, and it had been about forty-one minutes. 

Placing the empty glass in the sink and locating his shoes, Shikamaru pulled them on and redid his hair tie as he slipped out the door. The cool night air felt good on his flushed cheeks as he made his way down the stairs and out to the street. He smiled, thinking about Genma and Kakashi. It was so obvious what was happening, but they didn’t seem to get it. Or maybe they just didn’t want to get it, yet.

The Nara shook his head. No deep thinking. He had turned his brain off for the night, and he intended to keep in that way. He still felt a little tipsy; just slightly unsteady on his feet, but he also felt more relaxed than he had in a long time. Kakashi was a good friend, and Genma was just a generally good person. As he set out toward the Nara compound at a lazy, leisurely pace, he made a mental note to thank them somehow later.

His headache was gone.

* * *

Across town, another ninja had swooped from a balcony to land silently onto a wooden porch. He had turned emotionless eyes towards his ANBU escorts before dismantling several traps and pushing open the door. They had thought he had not sensed them, when in fact Sasuke had known every breath they had taken; every soft footfall over tree limb and roof tile.

Now, his dark eyes surveyed the room as he passed through the entryway. He shed his shoes and pulled the soft hoodie over his shoulders. He had taken a shower at the barracks upon his return, so there was no reason not to just head directly to bed. He stepped over a discarded pack filled with various scrolls and unopened packets of instant ramen. This was where the Uchiha knew he would have normally made a face, or at least some kind of noise that showed he disapproved of his best friend’s eating habits. But there was nothing. His reservoir of anger and annoyance, so easily dipped into for so long, was now iced over. He still searched for the emotion he knew was there, but his cup continually came up empty.

Sasuke heard a soft sigh and a quiet murmur from the bedroom Kakashi had announced belonged to him. The dark-haired nin moved down the hall and paused at the door.

Naruto lay on his back under his sheets, his naked torso exposed, and his limbs spread to the edges of the futon. His blond hair was in his face and splayed out over the pillow. He breathed evenly, his snoring soft for once. Sasuke felt a tingle in his belly and his breath caught.

It did not matter what they had done to his head, Sasuke still felt something when he looked at Naruto. He couldn’t quiet put a finger on what it was, but he knew it was there; a fleeting pang in his chest, or a tightening of the muscles around his heart. He had no memory of how it felt to love Naruto before, but he did know beyond a shadow of all doubt that he had. Nothing and no one else in the world had been the reason for his acquiescence through the suppression procedures. He had done it for Naruto, so they could be together. So he could see his best friend smile.

He moved toward the bed, silently as a cat on the hunt. He shed his t-shirt and jeans, laying them out on the top of the chest of drawers. The Uchiha lowered himself to the futon and slid underneath the covers. He laid his head on the pillow and watched the rise and fall of Naruto’s chest for a long time. The rhythmic movements made Sasuke’s eyes heavy and he felt the delicate hands of sleep pulling him down.

Then Naruto moved. He sighed, smacked his lips, and turned to his side. His eyes fluttered open and blinked through the haze of sleep. He seemed to focus on Sasuke’s face and the corners of his lips turned up into a soft smile. He reached a hand out and gently pushed a lock of raven-black hair from the Uchiha’s brow.

“You’re back,” he whispered.

Sasuke nodded.

“Did Neji help?” Naruto bit back a yawn. “Did it do anything?”

Sasuke nodded again. He was sure the Hyūga had, even if the change wasn’t that apparent. “I believe he did.”

Naruto’s eyes cleared and the pools of blue that stared up at Sasuke were suddenly alert and hopeful. 

“Really?”

Sasuke reached out and took Naruto’s hand. He pressed the tanned palm against his chest and let the young Hokage feel the heart that beat so violently beneath his ribs.

“This started the moment I saw you lying here.”

Naruto let out a shaking breath. He looked like he was going to say something, but instead, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sasuke’s. The Uchiha startled, this having been their first kiss in several months, but he slowly relaxed into it and pressed back. He closed his eyes and slid a hand down Naruto’s toned stomach. The blond moaned softly and pulled Sasuke close. 

As Sasuke reached out, searching again for the feelings he so desperately wanted to find, he realized that icy lake of emotion seemed to be a lot easier to touch. Maybe, just maybe, if he pushed hard enough against the cold, frozen surface, it would crack. 

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Kakashi laced his fingers behind his head and sighed heavily. He looked up at the starry sky, half hidden behind a shifting curtain of clouds. The night was beautiful, tranquil, even with the mounting excitement of the coming mission. He was due at the East Gate in a little less than five hours, so that meant he had about six to pack and drag his ass across town. 

Unfortunately, at the moment, Kakashi was currently experiencing a minor emotional dilemma, it was throwing off his psych for the mission attitude and setting him up for some honest to God brooding. Brooding during a mission may have been okay for Sasuke when he was eleven or twelve, and it sometimes suited Shikamaru just fine, but genuine, authentic, Real Life Kakashi Brooding was a distraction, and Kakashi didn’t like Real Life distractions. He liked creating pretend distractions to throw off enemies or torture his young genin students. 

No, this brooding thing would not do at all. He had to figure this thing out in the next hour, or he was as good as, well, a _normal_ ninja.

Rolling to his side, Kakashi propped himself up on his elbow and listened to the sounds coming up from the open window below him. He heard a clatter, and then Kotetsu’s laugh. Izumo said something dipped in sake and feigned exasperation, and then there was more laughter.

Kakashi sighed again. He really should just go inside. It wasn’t like anyone else knew about his problem. It wasn’t written across his face or anything—and even if it was, he wore a mask, no one would be able to read it. Flopping over onto his back once again, the Copy Nin growled low and slapped his cheeks. He was being stupid, childish, and just all around “not cool”. If anyone could see him now, they would probably think he was some lame imposter disguised as Hatake Kakashi. 

He swallowed and relaxed back into his original position. He laced his hands behind his head, and willed his body to think this was where he was going to stay for the next hour or so. His heart started to believe him and slowed from an uncomfortable pound, to a steady thump-thump. His lungs, however, were not buying it and stayed just as tight as they had been for the past two weeks—the thirteen days that had passed since the last time he had been with Genma. 

His problem was simple. It was so simple it was stupid. Things with Genma had gone from good to great, then great to really great, and now it was somewhere between awesome and really shitty, because somewhere along the way he had developed feelings for the sexy special jounin and Kakashi wasn’t sure how to act around him. It was obvious that Genma wasn’t ready for any kind of relationship yet. He was still pining for Raidou. Their first time together, Kakashi had been a replacement for crying out loud! 

Really, who was he kidding? Kakashi knew that he probably wasn’t ready for a new relationship either. He had spent three years with Ibiki, and now suddenly Genma rides in on his white horse to swoop him off his feet, mend his broken heart, and the two of them would live happy, love-love times forever and ever? No.

The whole situation was fucked up. Kakashi knew that he and Genma were probably the most sexually compatible people in the village—okay, maybe the Fire Country. Or quite possibly the universe. But sex didn’t make up a relationship. Sex was a big part of it, but if there wasn’t… if Genma didn’t… 

Kakashi groaned. Real Life Brooding sucked big hairy ball sack.

There was no way anything was ever going to come out of his sex-friendship with Genma. The guy was awesome, and he was awesome to be around, but it didn’t change the fact that Genma was never going to be serious about being with Kakashi. He made that fact quite clear when he cracked jokes about being boyfriends or that they should get married. No, Genma was just in it for the fun and the comfort, nothing more.

It was kind of breaking Kakashi’s heart.

The Copy Nin felt a shift in the air and slowly sat up. He perceived no threat, but the fact that someone was close and watching him when he had his chakra restrained, meant that there was either a very, very powerful, or very lucky ninja nearby. Kakashi rested his arms on his bent knees, and started to pick the dirt from underneath his fingernails.

“ _My esteemed rival!_ ” a whisper sounded from across the rooftop. “ _What are you doing up here!?_ ”

Kakashi felt the corners of his mouth turn up, but he pretended to ignore the voice. The air shifted again behind him, and the Copy Nin felt Guy’s chakra prodding him gently as his friend crouched down carefully beside him. 

“ _It is amazing, Kakashi, how you are able to pull off such a hip and cool image by doing nothing! May I sit here and study you in this thoughtful and contemplative state!?_ ”

“Uh, well,” Kakashi feigned boredom, “if you feel you must.” 

Guy fist pumped and lowered himself to a sitting position. He folded his hands in his lap and stared intently at Kakashi. The Copy Nin would have laughed out loud at the man’s ridiculous expression, but it was more important to maintain the custom the two of them had created for themselves.

“What are you doing here, Guy?” Kakashi asked, with as much lack of interest as he was capable. 

“ _Oh, I was just on my way to Umino Iruka-kun’s party!_ ” Guy was still speaking in that loud whisper that could probably be heard from the next building. “ _I have just returned from a mission and thought I could use a night of youthful revelry and manly bonding!_ ”

Kakashi snickered. “Well, there’s definitely some _bonding_ going on down there. Just might not be the kind you’re into.”

Guy was silent for a moment, but then leaned in close and quirked his bushy eyebrows questioningly. “ _Kakashi, are you all right!? I seem to have mistaken your aura! What I thought was awesome-and-imperturbable-perching-to-create-an-even-deeper-and-more-authentic-mystery on the edge of Iruka-kun’s roof, is actually you sitting-lonely-and-troubled-about-something! Is there something I can do for my most awesome of rivals!?_ ”

Kakashi turned to his friend—his best friend—then and couldn’t stop the soft chuckle. “No, not like that you can’t.”

Guy was on his feet then, crouched over Kakashi’s laughing form with his hands laced together.

“ _Then, oh most worthy and noble of my comrades, would you be so kind as to release the jutsu you have placed on me!? I would be ever so grateful, and I will use the time you give me to help you in any way I can!_ ”

Kakashi thought about it for only a moment. Guy was someone he could trust with his current problem, and damnit, he really didn’t know what else he could possibly do. Just the act of complaining about it to another person might make him feel better.

He nodded to Guy and bit into the tip of his thumb. He made a few quick hands seals and then pressed chakra into Guy’s chest. The dark-haired man blinked once, dropping the smile, and then flopped down onto the roof, massaging his jaw and groaning softly.

“I fucking hate you, Kakashi,” Guy’s low, gravelly voice growled.

Kakashi grinned and pulled down his mask. “I know.”

* * *

“…yeah,” Guy murmured thoughtfully, “that really sucks.”

Kakashi scoffed. “I pour my heart out to you and that’s all I get? ‘That sucks’?”

“Well, it does. What else do you want me to say? You get yourself involved with someone who’s going through something like that and expect it to work out? Come on, Kakashi, you’re a goddamn genius. What the hell did you think was gonna happen?” Guy turned his head and shot him a glare. “Despite what people think, you’re a very vulnerable person, and you tend to fall in love at pretty alarming rate. You should distance yourself from Genma before you really get hurt and screw up your friendship.”

The two elite nin were lying side by side on the roof tiles, watching the cloud cover as it slowly floated past. Guy had one leg crossed over the other, and his hands laced lazily behind his head. Kakashi tapped his fingers on his flack vest and kept rolling from side to side. The conversation had turned out exactly like he had figured. Guy brought things into focus, rather bluntly, and managed to put everything into perspective for him in just a few sentences.

That did not, however, make Kakashi feel any better. He knew he needed to hear everything his friend was saying, but that didn’t mean he _wanted_ to.

As he studied a cluster of stars around the highest point of a tree, Kakashi sighed heavily.

“It’s been like two months and he hasn’t asked.”

At this, Guy actually sat up. He stared down at Kakashi incredulously, his eyes comically wide.

“Are you fucking kidding?”

Kakashi shook his head. 

Guy turned to stare out over the sea of rooftops. He tilted his head thoughtfully and rested his arms on his knees.

“Wow… That’s really something. No one’s ever lasted that long, have they?”

“Nope,” Kakashi’s lips slid over that lie perfectly. Guy didn’t need to know that Shikamaru had indeed lasted that long (and longer) without asking to see his face. He would receive more than just a tongue lashing if Guy knew he was fucking one of Asuma’s former students. 

Even if Shikamaru had come onto _him_ , and Kakashi was actually the one _being fucked_. Mechanics like that wouldn’t matter to Guy.

Kakashi sat up as Guy let out a long breath. “Well, maybe this mission will be good for you. You’ll be gone a few weeks, gives you some time to think. When you get back, if you’re still feeling it, talk to him about it.”

Kakashi made a very undignified whining noise and pushed his face into Guy’s thick shoulder.

“I don’t _wannaaaa_.”

Guy snickered. “I can’t believe he hasn’t asked to see your face though. That’s hilarious. It’s probably driving you insane isn’t it?” 

“Shut up,” Kakashi growled without menace.

“You do that whole ‘everyone can see it but you’ thing?”

“Yes,” Kakashi muttered.

“Did you tell him to ask you?”

Kakashi felt his face heating at the memory of him pleading breathlessly just before coming all over Genma’s stomach. He cleared his throat. “Yes…”

Guy laughed. “Gah, I love it. Serves you right.”

Kakashi sat up straight and glared at his friend. “At least my jutsu was creative.”

Guy punched his shoulder. “Sealing that mask to your face was creative! And at least I made it so you could eat!”

“But no one ever just asks for me to take it off!”

“That’s the fucking point!” Guy laughed again. 

Kakashi grumbled and picked at some buildup on the corner of a tile. It really wasn’t so bad. In fact, it could be a lot worse. Guy could have jutsued _him_ to wear green spandex and spew things about “youth” and “manliness” all day. Having his mask sealed and the only way to remove it in front of someone was for them to ask, wasn’t really that horrible of a thing in comparison. 

“Ah,” Guy leaned back on his hands, a contended smile playing across his lips. “I guess I’m used to it now anyway. My only regret is Lee.”

Kakashi cringed. “Yeah, let’s never release you just so that the poor kid will never find out his sensei is actually a grumpy, antisocial, pervert.”

“That hates green.”

“You don’t hate green.”

“Oh, I do _now_.”

Kakashi laughed then. He felt the tightness in his chest lessen. Talking to Guy had been a good decision. Even talking to a jutsu enhanced Guy was relieving sometimes. Kakashi really didn’t care what form he came in, the man was his best friend, and would always be there for him, grumpy or not.

“You need me to cock-block Genma tonight? Or were you thinking of trying to get a little nookie before you left?”

Kakashi chuckled and pulled his mask back up. “What happened to distancing myself?”

Guy waved a hand. “After the mission. After.”

From over the side of the roof, came a barrage of pottery pebbles. Several of the small rocks hit Kakashi in the back of the head and shoulders. He had known they were coming, but had decided that it wasn’t worth the effort to try and doge them. 

Guy, on the other hand, batted them away with a deep scowl. “What the hell is that?” he growled.

“I’m guessing Kotetsu and Izumo.” Kakashi stood slowly and moved to the edge of the tiles. Below him, the two troublemakers stood grinning up at him through drunken smiles.

“Kakashi-saaaan,” Kotetsu drawled, “Iruka said to come inside or he was gonna come up there with the paddle.”

“Oh, well,” Kakashi slid his hands in his pockets, “that just gives me more reason to stay up here.”

Guy moved up beside Kakashi and peered down at the swaying ninja. “Oh yeah, those guys: Syrup and Shellfish.”

Kakashi held in a giggle.

“Guy-sensei!” Izumo cheered. “What are you doing here!? We haven’t seen you in forever!”

Guy cleared his throat and waved. “Hello. I was just stopping by for some booze.”

Kakashi looked at him out the corner of his eye and Guy scratched his chin uncomfortably. 

“And… youthful… manly bonding… stuff…”

Izumo saluted him and nearly toppled over onto Kotetsu. “Well, come inside! We’ve got lots of both of those!”

Guy turned to Kakashi and sighed, resigned. “Well, seal me back up so I can go have a drink.”

* * *

Genma climbed the steps to Iruka’s apartment slowly. He was tired from his long day at work and hungry after skipping out on lunch and dinner. The shift hadn’t been particularly rough, there had just been a lot to do, and he had volunteered to stay late and get the rest of the reports logged. He hadn’t taken a shower, so he felt a little skuzzy, but it would have been too much work to go home before coming here. He would have probably just said “screw it” and gone to bed. But now, he was glad he was here. He wanted a drink and a little time to unwind from the busy week.

He didn’t bother knocking, the sounds coming from inside the apartment were too loud for anyone to hear him. Instead, he turned the knob and entered quietly. He chuckled at Kotetsu and Izumo, sprawled all over each other on the couch, cheering as Hayase and Anko competed in a very intense game of arm wrestling. The special jounin moved through the entry and slipped into the kitchen. There he found Iruka, Guy, and Tenzo talking to a pretty red headed chuunin. Tenzo was leaning over something that smelled absolutely divine simmering on the stove, and Genma’s stomach growled relentlessly.

“Hey, people,” Genma reached past Iruka to snag an unopened bottle from the cooler. “How’s it going?”

Iruka smiled at him. “Good. Where have you been?”

Genma twisted off the top of his bottle and took a long swallow. “Reports. Some ass-hole in the Hokage’s office decided that we’re gonna do some organizational things next week, so I was making sure everything was in order before the weekend.” He smiled his best charming smile at the x-sensei.

Iruka made a pouty face. “Aw, I didn’t mean to make you stay late. I just wanted to fix up that damn records room a little. Shikamaru keeps bitching about how he can never find anything.”

“You know Shikamaru’s gonna bitch about something. If it’s not the mess that’s Records, it’s gonna be something el-”

Tenzo cut Genma off with a slice through the air. The special jounin found himself staring at the calloused palm of jounin’s hand and he chuckled.

“Work talk is forbidden here.” Tenzo said simply. “It kills my buzz.”

“Genma-san!” Guy exploded in a cheery flourish of hands and bowl-cut hair. “I have not seen you in several weeks! How is the most awesome and mysterious special jounin in the great Fire Nation!?”

Genma snickered and brought the bottle to his lips. “I’m great, Guy. How’s life?”

Guy put an arm over Tenzo’s shoulders and flashed a fanatical grin. “I have just returned from a mission with one of my precious x-students! We reminisced together and spoke of the happy times when he was just a genin!” Tears formed in the jounin’s eyes but he blinked them back. “I remember it like it was yesterday! He was so cute and willful! But now he is grown, and I am so happy and proud to see the awesome and powerful man he has become!” The tears flowed freely, and Tenzo offered Guy a dish towel.

Genma bit his lip to keep his laughter at bay. He had definitely seen Lee at the market a few days ago, so that meant that Guy’s “x-student” had to be Neji. Poor, poor Neji. At least they were home now and the Hyūga could have a breather.

“I can’t believe he’s still standing,” the pretty red head said, amazement lightening her voice. “He’s had three times as much to drink as any of us.”

Tenzo grinned as he comforted a sobbing Guy. “The Green Beast has trained himself into a higher than average tolerance.” Tenzo then turned to Genma and motioned to the young woman.

“This is Hanata Raiko. She works at the hospital.”

Genma nodded, “Hello.”

Her eyes were chocolate and her skin was a light olive. She was beautiful in that easy girl-next-door kind of way. She smiled prettily at him and sipped at her drink.

“I’ve heard a lot of things about you, Genma,” she said softly. 

Genma grinned and scratched the back of his head. “Not all of them bad, I hope.”

Her smile widened, “All good.”

“Oh, well,” Genma chuckled. “Yay then.” 

Breathing in those delicious smells from the frying pan, Genma excused himself and moved closer to the stove. He stood next to Tenzo as the jounin stirred slowly and added spice to the mixture of sliced meat and vegetables. 

“I didn’t know you could cook,” Genma smiled.

Tenzo retrieved a pair of chopsticks, and with a flourish, picked out a slice of meat and carrot for the special jounin to sample. Genma accepted and groaned softly at the assault of flavors that melted over his tongue. “Oh my God, what is this?” he moaned.

“Chicken stir fry in a mild peanut sauce. It’s not mine, but it’s simple enough that I could pick up easy.” Tenzo explained. “We just whipped it up ‘cause Anko hasn’t eaten anything since lunch, and Ino-chan was working in her parent’s flower shop all day. If you’re hungry, there’s plenty.”

“I am,” Genma heartily agreed.

“Well, then it’s ready,” Tenzo smiled. “Grab a few bowls from that cupboard to my left.”

When Genma was laden with rice and stir fry, Iruka slipped an arm around his waist and pulled him gently out of the kitchen. They pushed past Iwashi and Tonbo as the two laughed at something a pretty blonde was saying. Genma nodded to the chuunin as they made their way down the hall, and turned to Iruka when they were out of earshot. 

“So, Genma,” he cooed, “how are… things? What have you been up to in the last few weeks?”

Genma sighed and smiled around his chopsticks. “If you’re asking about Kakashi, I haven’t seen him since the last time we went to the club.”

Pulling Genma further down the hallway, Iruka lowered his voice. “Oh, you mean that time you left with him? I distinctly remember you two couldn’t keep your hands off each other, and then you both just disappeared without a word.” Iruka grinned up at him and wiggled his eyebrows. 

“He’s nuts over you, you know?”

Genma sighed and turned to lean against the wall. He shook his head at Iruka and shoveled more rice into his mouth. “He’s not. It’s just a sex thing. We’re good together physically, so we’re taking advantage of it.”

Iruka waved his hands dismissively. “Okay, whatever, think what you want. I’m too tipsy to argue with you.”

As Genma rolled his eyes and took another bite, the bedroom door opened wide to accommodate a large figure. As a tall jounin stepped over the threshold and into the hallway, Genma froze, chicken and peanut sauce halfway to his lips.

Raidou saw him and paused. The wide smile that had been plastered to his lips wavered, but he held fast and nodded.

“Hey, Gen,” he said softly.

Genma nodded back, unsure of what to say or do, so he shoved the bite in his mouth. “Heh Ra’how.”

Iruka stood straight, a terribly suspicious smile plastering his lips. “Oh, I forgot I need to put more beer in the cooler. See ya.” With that, he was down the hall and around the corner.

Raidou moved slowly, almost cautiously, stopping a few feet from Genma and leaning back against the opposite wall. “How are you?” he asked.

Genma shrugged and swallowed, his heart pounding. “Oh, you know. Same shit.”

Raidou watched Genma push another large bite into his mouth and his smile turned genuine. “You like it?”

Genma nodded. “Hu’king ah’hum.”

Raidou’s eyes sparkled. “It’s my recipe.”

Genma almost choked as he swallowed, “Really?” He looked at the bowl, and then back at Raidou. “But, Rai, you hate peanuts.” He knew Raidou had always been a good cook, but this was extraordinary. 

Raidou chuckled and absently rubbed at his scars. “Yeah, but Raiko doesn’t. She’s always asking for peanut sauce stir fry, chicken with spicy peanut sauce, rice noodles with peanut sauce. She’s like you are with that damn sesame mustard stuff.”

Genma sighed at the thought of chicken in sesame mustard seasoning. “Oh, but it’s _soooo gooood_.” 

A thought struck Genma then, and his eyes widened. “Wait, Raiko? The red head?” Genma craned his head to peek around the corner and into the kitchen. 

“Yeah,” Raidou chuckled. “I had to go in for a couple stitches after a detail a couple weeks ago. She’s the nurse that patched me up.”

Genma turned back to his friend and grinned. “She’s a babe, Rai, a total babe. You’re a lucky son of a bitch. Is she cool?”

Raidou nodded. “Yeah, she’s cool.”

It was unbelievable. Raidou was smiling so openly at him. Raidou was _talking_ to him! Genma felt his heart clench at the thought of how easily the two of them had slipped into their old way of conversation. It was strained, but not enough to be completely uncomfortable. It said something about how deep their friendship had been before. 

Raidou seemed to have noticed it at the same time and his expression softened. He ran his fingers over his scar again, he always did that when he was nervous, but then he realized what he was doing and slipped his hands in his pockets.

“It’s good to see you, Gen,” he spoke quietly.

Genma chewed on a piece of meat and studied his friend. He felt strange. Raidou’s dark eyes were the same as he remembered: clear, polished ebony. His lips, his hair, his strong jaw were all exactly as they had been before, but Genma’s heart didn’t race when he looked at them. His knees didn’t go weak just from hearing Raidou’s deep voice. He was still handsome, still beautiful and perfect in Genma’s eyes, but that magic that had been there before was somehow gone. 

It was staggering, because for the first time in twenty years, Genma was not completely taken by Namiashi Raidou.

“It’s really good to see you too,” Genma answered.

A crash sounded from the living room, and the sound broke the spell. The two men straightened and Raidou cleared his throat as Iruka started yelling drunkenly from the kitchen.

“I’m gonna make sure Raiko’s not dying from Guy overload,” Raidou said.

“Good idea,” Genma snorted.

Raidou grinned and headed to the kitchen. He stopped at the last second, however, and turned back. He was nervous again, Genma could see it in his eyes, but he seemed to push past it and spoke softly at the floor.

“Oh, um, there’s a copy ninja in the bedroom who’s been twiddling his thumbs, waiting for you to show up all evening.”

Genma felt his face go scarlet. He tried to come up with something witty to say in retort, but he couldn’t make the words come out. Raidou noticed and chuckled.

“You’re doing the fish face, so it’s true, isn’t it?”

“It’s not like that!” Genma sputtered. “We’re just… I mean, we’re only—”

Raidou put his hands over his ears and chanted “la la la la” as he disappeared into the kitchen. 

Genma stared down into his empty bowl and let out a breath that was half chuckle. Well, it couldn’t have stayed a secret forever. Raidou was bound to find out, as was every other ninja in the village. What sucked though, was how people thought it was some kind of real relationship. It wasn’t like Kakashi and him were boyfriends. It wasn’t like they were _together_ or anything. It was just fun. Just sex… 

…wasn’t it? Isn’t that what Kakashi wanted? 

Genma felt a small twist in his chest as he thought about Kakashi. What did Kakashi want? Did he really want to be just sex friends? They had never really talked about it besides the occasional joke or side comment. Should they talk about it? Was it really an issue?

Then something else pulled at Genma’s heart. His breath caught for a moment and the tokubetsu stilled.

How did _he_ feel about _Kakashi?_

Genma quickly shook himself, turned on his heel, and headed for the bedroom. The sounds of laughter and playful groans hit his ears as he moved down the hallway. He didn’t want to think about the intricacies of his and Kakashi’s relationship at the moment. He was tired, and at a party, and he was going to have to face Kakashi in seconds, and it just wasn’t a good time. 

He peeked in through the doorway to the master bedroom to reveal a cluster of half-dressed nin playing cards around a small cardboard box. They all looked up as he appeared, smiled and shouted greetings in various stages of drunkenness. Kakashi sat, fully clothed, his chin resting in his palm, and his masked face hidden behind his hand. The Copy Nin didn’t move at seeing Genma standing in the doorway, but his one visible eye flashed and gave the special jounin a quick once over.

Genma swallowed his thoughts and grinned. He held up a hand in greeting. Aoba, Ino, Ume, and another dark-haired girl he didn’t know, all waved back.

“Hi, Genma-san!” Ume said cheerily. Her cheeks were pink and her tongue seemed a little thick for her mouth.

“Hi,” Genma parroted.

“You should join us, Genma,” Ino said. “We need another guy.”

“Nooooo,” Aoba whined. “There’s enough wang in this room already.”

The dark-haired girl giggled and placed a hand over her mouth as she hiccupped. Kakashi sat quietly, watching Genma with that deceptively lazy eye, and ran his fingers over the tops of his cards. The special jounin felt a small shiver run up his back as he remembered what he had been doing the last time Kakashi had looked at him like that.

“I uh, forgot my beer in the kitchen,” he said lamely. “And I want a smoke. I’ll be back.”

“Okay!” Ino smiled sweetly at him and placed her cards on the table. Aoba groaned and pulled off his leg wraps.

* * *

Genma had barely taken a drag before Kakashi stepped out onto the porch. He moved silently to stand beside the special jounin against the rail. Guy and Tenzo’s laughter could still be heard inside, but the sounds of the party were, for the most part, muffled behind the closed door. The Copy Nin stole Genma’s beer and took a quick sip before returning it.

They stood in comfortable silence. Genma took a drag and blew it out slowly. Kakashi tapped his fingers on the rail. Genma’s hips shifted, bumping into Kakashi’s. Kakashi chuckled and pushed Genma’s shoulder gently.

“I talked to Raidou,” Genma said quietly.

Kakashi nodded. “It looks like he’s doing good. He’s happy, and that Raiko seems nice.”

Genma exhaled, smiling. “Yeah, I’m really… really happy for him.”

Kakashi tilted his head. “Are you?”

Genma turned to him and nodded, his smile was soft and easy, “Yeah.”

Kakashi turned to face Genma. He left one elbow resting on the railing and slipped the other into his pocket. He was smiling, but his one visible eye was troubled as he regarded the special jounin carefully. His posture was relaxed, but Genma could see there were a lot of things brewing beneath the surface.

He knew the look. Every ninja knew that look, because every ninja had at one time held that look themselves.

“You’re leaving,” Genma said simply.

Kakashi nodded.

“How bad?”

Kakashi shrugged, “Off the books.”

“Shit,” Genma crushed his cigarette between his fingers and straightened. He turned to Kakashi and tugged on his flack vest. “Shouldn’t you be with Sasuke?”

Kakashi shook his head. “I had dinner with him and Naruto. They understand, and I didn’t want to drag it out.”

Genma felt a hand clench around his heart. This was not the way he had envisioned his night with Kakashi going down. He was also surprised—and maybe just a little guilty—to discover just how delighted he was at hearing Kakashi wanted to spend his last few hours in Konoha with him. 

“How long?”

“Uh,” Kakashi shrugged. “Two weeks. One, depending how fast we can find these guys.”

Genma nodded. “What do you want to do? We can go somewhere, if you want.”

Kakashi shook his head and stood straight, bringing his face up to Genma’s level. His breath was warm through his mask and Genma itched to kiss him, right there on the balcony for anyone to see.

“Just come back inside with me. Play cards, have a drink. Let me cop a feel or two.”

Genma laughed and put his hands on Kakashi’s arms. “Okay. Cop as many feels as you like. Everybody knows already anyway.”

“Yeah.”

Kakashi watched his face, his grey eye dark and contemplative. His hands went around Genma’s waist and gripped his hips tightly. There was something in the Copy Nin’s posture that hinted there was much he wanted to say, but Genma was not one to press if Kakashi wasn’t ready. Instead he waited, searching what he could see of the silver-haired ninja’s face. He brushed his lips across the dark fabric. He slid his hands up to Kakashi’s neck and rubbed his thumbs over the other man’s jaw. He rested his forehead against the lopsided plate of Kakashi’s hitai-ate.

“I’m here, Kakashi…” he whispered, soothing. “I’m listening…”

Kakashi’s body shivered. His hands tightened their grip. He tilted his head and brought his covered lips to Genma’s ear.

“You still haven’t asked me,” he said softly. “It’s been months and you still haven’t asked. It’s never happened before, so I don’t know what to do.”

Genma melted a little then. He didn’t understand why Kakashi insisted that he had to be the one to initiate the lowering of his mask, but it didn’t really matter. The sincerity and the desperation in the Copy Nin’s voice when he asked him tugged at Genma’s heart. 

He pulled Kakashi back and looked into his nervous, grey eye.

“Do something for me, and I’ll ask you to take the mask off.”

Kakashi physically reacted. He straightened from his slouch, the grip he had on Genma bordered on painful as he clenched his fingers. His semi-hard erection filled and pressed hotly into the hollow just inside the special jounin’s hip. 

“Anything, Genma. Ask me anything.”

Genma’s heart fluttered at Kakashi’s pleading. He took a shaky breath and wondered if it was possible _not_ to fall completely head over heels for the Copy Nin. 

“Just…” he started, leaning into Kakashi’s warm body. “Just come home. Make it back from this mission.”

Kakashi breathed heavily across Genma’s lips. He twisted and pressed the special jounin against the railing. He kissed Genma on his nose, his forehead, his eyelids. Genma reached up and pulled the mask down, keeping his eyes firmly closed as he crushed his lips against Kakashi’s. The Copy Nin’s tongue slid against his own and Genma groaned appreciatively from deep in his throat. He felt Kakashi pull the hitai-ate from his head and run his fingers through his hair. The special jounin pushed all thoughts of missions and danger and tragedy from his mind, and just kissed Kakashi until he was light-headed. 

When they pulled apart, Kakashi replaced the mask and leaned his forehead back against Genma’s. They breathed heavily, leaning together on the railing, marveling at the fire they both ignited in each other’s bodies. 

Genma could feel it. There was something more between them then just the sex. It ran deeper than the physical attraction and the craving for each other’s touch. It was frightening to think about it, because there was always the possibility that he was reading Kakashi wrong, and he was the only one with these complicated feelings.

Would Kakashi miss him as much as he was going to miss Kakashi? Genma knew the two weeks would be long, and even though Kakashi was as about as elite as they came, he was still going to worry. He couldn’t help it. Unranked missions were always S class, sometimes even higher. 

“What am I going to do while you’re gone?” Genma whined softly.

Kakashi snickered. “Organize Records before Iruka has an aneurism. Find something or someone to do.”

“Someone?” Genma laughed.

Kakashi shrugged once again. “Videotape it or something so I can watch it when I get back.”

Genma grinned and cocked his head to the side playfully. “Would you rather I record me playing with someone, or playing with myself?”

Kakashi let out a breath and let his gaze shift. He looked like he was searching far away into the distance. “Oh, wow, I don’t know. Both sound really good.” He sucked in through his teeth and cleared his throat. Turning back to Genma, he said in a softer voice. “Maybe we should go back to the card game? I wanna see if I can get you naked before I have to go.”

Genma laughed and pulled Kakashi back inside.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Shikamaru carefully dragged the pencil across the map, following the edge of the ruler for one long stroke. He connected the line to a series of the same, calculating distance and time as he went. He didn’t have to glance at his notes, all the figures were carefully catalogued in his head. He plotted courses and cycled through names and abilities without much thought as he charted the points for the newest missions. 

At the moment, the young Nara’s mind was partitioned in three. About seventy percent of him was working on the current task, while twenty percent was calculating the ranks and abilities of the ninja he was going to assign to the next one.

The last ten percent, well, he was working on that.

It wasn’t as if he couldn’t do his work, he could manage through pretty much any distraction. Naruto being elected Hokage had taught him a new level of patience and focus. The blond and his boisterous and chatty manner had all but killed the Nara’s sense of concentration in the beginning, but Shikamaru had eventually adapted and found yet another method to keep his way of doing things, even with the troublesome (and very frequent) disturbances of his office. 

But today all of his mental training, all of his self-discipline, meant shit. He had been doing just fine, getting much needed work done, minding his own goddamned business, but then _he_ had waltzed into his office. 

Neji had returned with Guy and stood calm and disconnected as the report had been read. He hadn’t said a word, and hadn’t even given Shikamaru a sideways glance as he had left, exiting like a fucking noble on a dignitary’s mission, shoulders back and head high, his damn hair flowing down his back like some cruel taunt. 

Shikamaru hated Neji. He loved him. He _despised_ him.

The Nara knew what was coming, and that was why his work was slow. That was why he had to keep taking breaks, stop and reassess lest he mess up on something simple and get another one of those damn looks from Naruto: that innocent, caring, fucking concerned look that always dug into the flesh of his heart and ripped it still beating from his chest. He didn’t want that from Naruto. He didn’t want that from anyone. The whole thing was his fault. He had let it happen, and he would keep letting it happen because he was weak.

The worst part of it was, he didn’t even _want_ it to stop.

He felt Kakashi before the jounin opened the door. Shikamaru ignored the older man and continued plotting the points. Now his mind was splitting into four parts, and the headache that had started to pound over his right eye pulsed harder. _Fifty percent on task, eleven on the next, thirteen percent on Neji and what’s bound to happen later, twenty-six on two weeks ago._

The night he had spent with Kakashi and Genma had been almost _too_ good. The sex had been fantastic, and Genma had been like a drink of cool water to a severely parched throat. Unfortunately, the encounter had also left him with something like a gaping hole in the center of his chest. Seeing Kakashi and Genma together and witnessing the easy way they touched and talked, hurt him so deeply that he had hidden himself away in Records for almost a week.

It wasn’t as if he had fallen in love with Genma, no, that would be stupid, but Shikamaru was not going to lie to himself and pretend that he hadn’t at least fallen in love with what Genma represented. Kakashi and Genma had developed something between them that Shikamaru couldn’t even hope for. He didn’t even bother wishing for it, because even with all his exceptional intellect and problem-solving skills, he would never find a solution to the troubles he now faced. There was no hope for him and watching Genma and Kakashi had been like watching what he would never have, and it tore viciously at his heart.

“Shikamaru,” Kakashi said softly.

The young Nara straightened and glared down at the maps. “What?” 

“I just came to get the mission scroll.”

One of the nice things about Kakashi, was that he had an uncanny ability to _not_ press and _not_ ask stupid questions at just the right moments.

Shikamaru grabbed the scroll from a stack on the wide table and tossed it to the Copy Nin without looking up. “It’s all there. Get to it. You were supposed to be at the gate a half hour ago.”

Kakashi stood quietly, watching as Shikamaru returned to the map. The Nara ignored him as best he could, trying to block the images of Genma’s skin and hair as they flowed freely and cluttered his concentration.

When almost five minutes had passed, and Kakashi was still watching him silently, Shikamaru felt the thin wire of his restraint snap and he carefully placed his palms on the table.

“What do you want, Kakashi-san?”

Kakashi moved slowly, coming close to the table, and leaned a slim hip against the polished wood.

“I was wondering if you could do me a favor,” Kakashi said softly.

His head pounded. “Right, a favor. What is it?”

Kakashi waited a beat before he answered.

“I was wondering if you’d keep an eye on Genma for me while I’m gone.”

The silence that followed Kakashi’s words was thunderous. It rang so loud in Shikamaru’s ears that he had to consciously restrain his hands from reaching up and covering his ears. The Nara slowly raised his head and looked at Kakashi for the first time that night. He straightened. He folded his arms over his chest and double checked that his placid stare was in place.

Kakashi must have understood what he was asking, otherwise he wouldn’t be asking it. He knew what he was giving Shikamaru permission for, but it didn’t make sense why. With all their cuddling and connecting and impenetrable bonds, how could the Copy Nin just hand the special jounin over like that? For a fraction of a moment, Shikamaru’s brain split into a thousand different parts as he considered all the reasons and possibilities. What was he up to?

“He needs looking after?” Shikamaru asked, carefully trying to pull the pieces of his mind back together.

Kakashi chuckled. “Not really. I was thinking maybe you did.”

That hit Shikamaru like a punch to the gut. He shouldn’t have said anything to anyone besides Chouji about his problem. Now he was getting gestures from _Kakashi_. The Copy Nin was looking at him with concern and worry and _pity_. He couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t bear the thought that someone knew he was so weak and incape—

“Don’t make that face,” Kakashi said casually. “You don’t have to accept the offer, but I know with everything you’re going through, you need some kind of… respite. I know that Genma can provide that. And I know he’d do it happily.”

Shikamaru forced the sneer off his face and lowered his gaze to the maps. _Ten percent on task, four percent on the next one, twenty-one on later tonight, sixty-five on Genma and everything that entailed._

“I’ll think about it.”

Kakashi nodded, satisfied with Shikamaru’s answer. “Then I’ll be going now. I think I may be keeping some ninja waiting by the gate.”

Shikamaru snorted at that, and picked up the ruler and pencil once again. As Kakashi stepped through the doorway, the Nara spoke.

“Kakashi-san.”

The Copy Nin paused, “Hm?”

His voice barely above a whisper and his eyes still on the precise lines of the map, Shikamaru murmured, “Tread carefully.” 

Kakashi lingered for a moment, but then disappeared through the doorway.

A half an hour later Shikamaru had lost most of his concentration on almost everything. An hour past and he found himself staring blankly at the map, drowning in his own head. The ruler and pencil lay discarded on the thick paper. _Three percent on task, thirty percent on Genma, sixty-seven on tonight._ There was no possible way he was going to get anything done, so he put away his logs and closed up the office. He locked the doors behind him—a stupid thing really in a village full of ninja, but it was habit.

He walked slowly, ignoring how his legs trembled. He was not afraid, not really. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, excitement of a very uncomfortable sort swelled in his chest and stomach. He willed the beating of his heart to stay steady, even if it was a tad too fast. By the time he reached his family’s home, sweat beaded on his forehead and trailed down the back of his neck. 

The house was quiet. Shikamaru sensed nothing as he moved slowly down the hallway, but that didn’t surprise him. His aunt was expecting her third child in the next few weeks, so his mother had been spending most of her time with her sister. It was a small favor. Shikamaru didn’t know what he would have done if he had to deal with Yoshino on top of everything else that was going on.

He stripped out of his clothes and dropped them in a pile beside his bed. Nude, he padded down the hallway to the bathroom and washed himself thoroughly before sliding into the tub. The hot water felt good on his sore muscles, but it did nothing to ease the tension his body refused to release. He sat for what seemed like hours, brain spinning and twisting in hundreds of different ways, but when he glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, he found it had only been a little over forty minutes.

Sighing, forcing his brain to shut down, he focused his thoughts on the few simple acts of drying off, combing his hair, returning to his room. He considered his drawers, thinking it was cool enough to wear wool pants and a long sleeved shirt, but then he thought better of it and climbed into bed naked.

He propped himself up against his pillows. He tossed his blanket to the floor, and covered his lower half with nothing but a sheet. He lay back, listening to the sounds of the breeze outside and watched the window with his heart hammering in his throat.

He knew he was pathetic. He knew it with every strained breath that he took. This was the weak part of him, the little piece of himself that he was ashamed of. He sat, frustrated for waiting like some starving fool. Anger burned beneath his composed surface because he wanted something so much it physically hurt him.

Something that might not even happen.

He managed to stay alert for longer than he expected. Usually, his fatigue overtook him after only three quarters of an hour or so and he passed out. But tonight, something tingled beneath his skin. Tonight he felt it would actually happen, and he managed to fight off his exhaustion for more than ninety minutes. In the end, however, the strain of the past few days caught up with him and he felt himself drifting off into sleep.

A pulse of cool chakra woke him suddenly. Shikamaru startled and his heart clambered into his throat. He knew the signature instantly and his body flared to life with adrenaline and arousal. He turned and glanced out the corner of his eye at his clock. 3:17 a.m. He had been asleep for more than an hour.

The window was open. It was always open. Shikamaru watched as a shadow rippled behind the curtain. Slim fingers pulled at the fabric, revealing a lean figure dressed in white. Long legs lowered from the window sill and a lithe body followed. The figure turned to Shikamaru and stood silently, watching, waiting. Strong, angular features stood out against the darkness and milky eyes regarded Shikamaru with quiet intensity. The Nara was sure his visitor could sense his pulse. It rang so loudly in his own ears, there was no way it escaped the eyes of a Hyūga.

Shikamaru bent a knee, pulled an arm back to rest on one elbow. He dare not speak yet, speaking wasn’t usually allowed at first. He made no moves to encourage or deny, only let the Hyūga decide on his own if and when he would approach. 

Neji finally moved. He stepped away from the window, gliding across the wooden floors like a wraith across the still waters of a lake. Shikamaru fought a noble battle with himself as the other man reached up and slowly unbuttoned the top of his robe. Steeling himself, the Nara managed to keep all of his surging emotions in check and showed nothing of his inner storm, other than his hands clutching sheets and pillow with a grip that could shatter bone.

Fabric slid over white skin, and in seconds, Neji stood before Shikamaru’s bed, naked and radiant in the gentle light of the moon. He reached one pale hand down to take the sheet in his fingers. He pulled slowly, revealing Shikamaru’s body, inch by tanned inch. The Nara’s arousal made a soft _smack_ against his stomach as it was freed from the thin cloth and Shikamaru licked his lips in anticipation. His cock stood proud and stubborn, the metal of his many piercings shining in the semi-darkness. His chest rose and fell silently and he prayed that Neji could not see how much effort it was taking to keep his breathing steady.

Neji climbed up onto the bed, moving slowly, deliberately; a cat stalking prey. His long braid spilled over his shoulders and tickled Shikamaru’s shin. Soft lips grazed over the Nara’s kneecap and Shikamaru arched slightly. Hands slid up his thighs, teeth grazed his skin. The inner flesh of Neji’s leg brushed against the outside of his own. Shikamaru pulled his other arm back so he was resting both his elbows on the pillows behind him. He let out a soft gasp as Neji’s teeth scraped over one of the small piercings in his nipples. 

Every touch was like fire. Every soft press of lips was like a bolt of lightning straight through his body. Shikamaru knew that someday, it would be too much—Neji’s touch would be too much. His skin would char black and his lungs would burn. He knew his heart would finally stop from too much sensation, too much electricity and emotion. He would die under the Hyūga’s skilled fingers as he was tortured by Neji’s merciless tongue. 

Settling in Shikamaru’s lap, Neji placed one long leg on either side of the Nara’s narrow hips. He brushed a hand through Shikamaru’s hair, studying his face with cloudy eyes.

“You have not been sleeping again,” he said quietly. 

Shikamaru shivered at the soothing voice, spoken so gently against his skin. Not often was Neji in a talking mood, so on the rare occasion when words were allowed, Shikamaru drank in the elite jounin’s sultry tones like elixir. 

“Work’s been busy,” Shikamaru answered. 

Neji shook his head. “You still need to rest. You will get sick.”

_Like you really care…_ “It’s fine.”

Neji’s head tilted as his brows lowered thoughtfully. He pulled a lock of hair from behind Shikamaru’s ear and studied it. The younger man’s heart threatened to burst from his chest. It was pounding so hard, he felt like he had just run miles and could not catch his breath. No one ever touched his hair because he didn’t really like it, but Neji was heedless of what Shikamaru felt about it. The Hyūga reached up with his other hand and pulled all of his fingers through the dark brown strands. Shikamaru grit his teeth and commanded his body to stay still. He dare not move. He dare not reach out like he was aching to and slide his palms over those creamy hips. Doing so without consent could mean Neji might leave, and Shikamaru couldn’t handle that, not when it had gone this far.

“Your hair,” Neji said quietly, “it is uneven.”

Shikamaru’s eyes opened. He hadn’t even realized he had closed them. “What?”

Neji’s lips pulled up in the smallest of smiles, just enough to mock him.

“Your hair is uneven. It looks ridiculous.”

And there it was: the condescension. Neji always had to remind him. He had to remind Shikamaru of where and who they were, that these times together in the darkest parts of the night were fantasy. He had to bring the Nara back, show him there was nothing special or real about this. There was nothing more than lust and need between them. It was nothing more than an itch, a simple, primal compulsion. 

Shikamaru bit down on his cheek. He let the bitter, coppery taste of his blood ground him as he tried to speak. 

“I cut it myself. And who cares anyway? No one ever sees it.”

Neji’s head tilted further. His nose bumped the underside of Shikamaru’s chin. He seemed to be trying to raise the younger man’s gaze from his chest.

“I see it.”

Shikamaru breathed slow, tried to control his chakra as he struggled to bring his heart rate down.

But then Neji placed his palm on his chest and Shikamaru’s world spun out from beneath him. He pulled in a broken, choked gasp and lifted his eyes. He searched the other man’s face, and bit back the words that threatened to spill from his lips. He should have known there was no way to hide his racing heart from a Hyūga. 

Neji was watching him. He leaned in slowly, sliding his body against the younger man’s, rubbing his cock against the Nara’s hardness. Glancing down, he spread his fingers wider, feeling the hammering pulse beneath his palm. His smile widened and he lifted his eyes, bringing his lips a fraction of an inch from Shikamaru’s. 

“Is this what I do to you?”

Shikamaru shuddered, his breath and his words catching in his throat. Arousal clouded his mind and filled his chest to near bursting. His erection throbbed painfully between Neji’s legs. He panted against the Hyūga’s mouth, everything inside him tensing, straining against his willpower.

“You know what you do to me.”

Neji was breathing his air. His lips were so close a mere twitch of his jaw would bring them together. Shikamaru felt a heady weight already coiling in his loins. It was too much. Neji was too much.

As if he could hear Shikamaru’s thoughts, Neji’s hand slid from the center of the Nara’s chest. His fingers trailed over smooth skin and found the hard nub of a nipple. He took the small, silver ring in his blunt nails and pulled.

Shikamaru cried out as pain and electricity and hot, hot desire shot through his body. Neji crushed his lips with his own, muffling the shout, and plunged his tongue into the Nara’s mouth. Shikamaru kissed back with a desperation that was almost fanatical. He sat forward, taking the weight off his elbows, and braced his hands on the mattress. He curled into Neji and the Hyūga wrapped an arm around his neck. Pale hips rolled over his, and Shikamaru felt his balls tightening with pending orgasm. He half growled, half whimpered into Neji’s mouth and the older man pulled once again on the ring.

Shikamaru threw back his head and Neji took the opportunity to push him back on the pillows. He ground his hips ruthlessly, crushing Shikamaru’s erection against his own hot length. The Nara felt the first pulse of his cock, and Neji’s hand on his shaft. Chakra flowed into the metal from Neji’s fingers. Tenketsu closed as orgasm ripped through Shikamaru like a knife. He pulsed dry, screaming through clenched teeth as Neji manipulated his body.

“Fu—fuck… ah… ah…” Shikamaru gasped for air. He felt Neji’s lips on his jaw, his neck. He heard the drawer to his night table open, and then Neji shifting above him. He opened his eyes, squinting through the haze and the almost-darkness of his room. 

Neji was leaning over him, watching his face. One hand was behind the sharp curve of his pale hip, no doubt slicking himself with the oil Shikamaru kept in his drawer. His eyes were fierce as arousal had taken the reins, pushing him from his controlled state, and into a more primal one. His cheeks were flushed, his breath came in short, quiet pants. He was almost there, almost to the place that Shikamaru dreamed about. He was almost in the form that the Nara lived for. He was almost, _almost_ within reach. 

Lips covered his once again, and Shikamaru moaned into Neji’s mouth. He felt the oil on his throbbing and abused cock. Neji’s hand stroked him for a few short seconds before he rose up and braced his hands on the pillow on either side of Shikamaru’s head. The Nara held his breath, took his length in his shaking hands, and guided it up as Neji came down on him slowly.

Such heat. Heat, and softness, and Neji. Sweet, powerful, beautiful _Neji_. Shikamaru fucking hated Neji. He loved Neji. He _hated_ him. He adored him. He _worshiped_ him. As the Hyūga pressed his body down on him completely, Shikamaru let out a moan that came from the deepest parts of his soul. He arched a little as Neji started to move in slow, powerful thrusts that set his blood afire. He looked up to Neji’s eyes. The older man panted against his lips and let out a soft _ah_ with every meeting of their hips.

Almost there…

Shikamaru’s hands itched to move from the sheets. Neji’s braid had come undone somehow and his chocolate locks spilled out around his face and rested on the Shikamaru’s shoulders. He wanted desperately to run that hair though his fingers. He wanted more than anything to put his arms around Neji’s waist. He wanted to grip those pale thighs and grind the other man down on him until it was painful. 

He pushed his hips up and was rewarded by Neji’s soft cry. The older man sat up, throwing back his head and speeding up his movements. Every slap of skin was punctuated by the Hyūga’s moans, still so soft, but loud enough for Shikamaru to know that Neji was almost where he wanted him.

Almost there…

“Oh…” Neji’s head came forward, his hair sliding over his shoulders. “Oh… fuck…” 

Shikamaru growled and pushed up with his hips. Any moment…

Neji’s nails raked down Shikamaru’s chest. His eyes opened and those grey, beautiful, beautiful eyes looked down at him. Pleaded silently with him.

Yes…

“Sh…” Neji’s voice was breathless.

Yes…

“ _Ah… Shikamaru…_ ”

That was it. Shikamaru raised his hands and put his palms on that fair skin. He sat up, attacking Neji’s neck. He thrust up hard, drinking in the Hyūga’s cries. He felt Neji tensing over him, but it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t deep enough.

Shikamaru slid a hand behind Neji’s knee and flipped them. He pulled muscled legs around his waist and pounded into the older man’s body, crushing him into the mattress. Neji arched, his cries echoing through the room. He scratched down Shikamaru’s sides, pulled on the Nara’s lower body, urging him inside, deeper, harder. 

“ _Yes…_ ” Neji whispered, “ _Harder!_ ”

Shikamaru watched the older man’s face as pain mixed with pleasure. He watched milky grey eyes squeeze shut and lowered his gaze to watch the Hyūga jerk himself roughly. Neji’s orgasm splattered across his chest, hitting his neck as he gasped and moaned softly. The pressure around Shikamaru’s cock almost did him in, but he held on, and when the other man’s body relaxed, Shikamaru slowed his movements and lowered his head. He ran his tongue through the salty fruits of their sex and left open-mouthed kisses along Neji’s jaw.

Opaque eyes opened after a few moments, and Neji’s hands trailed up Shikamaru’s chest. Shikamaru kissed him slowly, deeply, savoring these few moments when Neji was his. He ran his hands up the Hyūga’s sides, letting his fingers touch the places he dreamed of every night. The places he had memorized years ago and now could never get out of his head.

Muscled arms came around his neck, and Shikamaru felt something already broken inside of him shatter once again. He reached up and gently pushed Neji’s hitai-ate from his forehead. The Hyūga blinked heavy lids, but made no move to stop him. The Nara ran his fingers over the lines etched into the soft, white skin. He remembered a year ago when he had first tried this, Neji had sent him flying across the room. Shikamaru had broken three ribs and cracked his collar bone that first time, but as of late, Neji had taken to giving Shikamaru this one indulgence in his few moments of vulnerability. 

Lowering his lips to the curse mark, Shikamaru kissed the scarred skin. He felt Neji’s breath catch beneath him and he continued to press his lips to the other man’s eyelids, his cheeks, and jaw. He braced one hand beside Neji’s head and gently ran the fingers of the other through dark hair. 

Soft lips brushed the shell of his ear, and warm breath waft across his sweaty skin as Neji whispered, “You feel so good…”

Shikamaru didn’t reply; he couldn’t. There were not enough words to describe how Neji felt to him, not the right words anyway. If he opened his mouth and spoke of what he felt at that moment, the fantasy would crack. It would split in two, reality would come crashing down, and there would be no way to ever go back. Instead, he slid a hand down to Neji’s thigh, buried his nose in soft, mocha hair, and pushed himself deeper into Neji’s body. 

Neji arched and moaned his name. He bit into the flesh of Shikamaru’s shoulder. The Nara felt tightening around his waist as Neji’s legs squeezed him. He thrust slow and hard; deep, and powerful. He tried not to feel the cool hands on his face as he kept his head low, his forehead brushing against Neji’s chin. He didn’t want to see those pale eyes. He didn’t want to see what might be brimming in them because it wasn’t real. Nothing was real except the feel of him sliding in and out of Neji’s body, the sweat beading on his back, trailing down his sides. The feel of Neji’s hands on his face—no, Neji’s legs tight around his waist, the feel of orgasm coiling in his loins, Neji’s cries in his ears. 

They rocked together as Shikamaru felt himself slipping. He clenched his teeth so hard his jaw creaked. He felt himself start to pulse inside Neji’s body, hot and hard and oh, so sweet. Neji’s fingers returned to a ring through his nipple and pulled. There was pain and light and pleasure so intense that Shikamaru lost his breath, lost his mind. He growled into the curve of Neji’s neck and felt himself break open and bleed out all over the man beneath him. There was no one, nothing else in the world. Neji belonged to him at this moment, just like he belonged to Neji every moment of every day. He was lost, he was found; he was broken, he was mended.

“ _Neji,_ ” he groaned between shuddering breaths, “ _Neji… Neji…_ ”

He collapsed. He couldn’t move. Laid out on top of the older man’s body, Shikamaru tried to catch his breath, tried to bring life back into his spent and shaking limbs. Neji’s hands slid over his back and threaded through his hair. The press of his lips on Shikamaru’s skin was gentle and heartbreaking and he held onto the fading glow of his release as long as he could, because he knew when it was gone, Neji would be as well.

The older man continued to slide fingers through his hair and whispered the words that Shikamaru had started to hate with every part of his being.

“I have to go.”

The emptiness Shikamaru had grown so accustomed to over the last two years started to close in around his heart. Pain gripped his insides, threatening to choke him. He wanted to desperately to hold Neji until the morning, lay with him for hours, just touching each other, being with each other. He wanted what Kakashi had with Genma, that intimacy that didn’t require the sex. The closeness that let them be together without complications and doubts, restrictions, duty to family, and _fucking pride_.

He commanded his body into motion. He raised himself up on his arms, pulled their bodies apart gently and rolled to the side. He lay on his back, listening to Neji gather his clothes and dress with sure and precise movements. Shikamaru’s already damaged heart cracked like the ice on a thawing lake as he lay so still, trying so hard to make it seem like he didn’t care. He used every piece of his brain to hone in on making it seem like he was as okay with the distance as Neji so obviously was.

How long would it be before he saw him again? How many dangerous missions would Neji take this time before he decided to come back? Would he come back at all? 

Pulling himself up slowly, his body loose and rubbery, he threw his legs over the edge of the bed and grabbed a pack of cigarettes from the night stand. He ripped a match from the book he found inside the drawer and lit up. The smoke filled his lungs with a comforting burn. 

He realized then that Neji had gone silent. He was still in the room, but the Hyūga had been standing by the window, watching him for a while. The Nara felt a prickling sensation at the base of his skull, and willed himself to not look back. He feared if he looked Neji in the eyes at that moment, the other man would see right through him and right to his grief. He didn’t need that, and neither did Neji.

Another minute of silence ticked by and Neji finally lifted himself onto the sill, and in a voice so calm, so free of the emotion and chaos that Shikamaru felt churning inside of himself at that moment, spoke softly.

“I’m taking that mission to Hidden Rain you posted yesterday. May I have Tanami Kuro and Watana Yuki? I will need both their skill sets.”

Shikamaru sighed softly, almost thankful that he hurt so much that there wasn’t much left of him for Neji to destroy. 

“Yuki is recovering in the hospital right now,” his mouth moved, and his voice sounded from out of his throat but Shikamaru was sure that it wasn’t really his, “The guy got a stake through his shoulder a few days ago.”

Neji made a sound and shifted on the sill. “All right, Inuzuka Toboe then. His tracking skills are not like Kiba’s, but his familiar will be an asset.”

Shikamaru nodded and took another long drag from the cigarette. His movements were mechanical and involuntary. “I’ll send out a notice in the morning.”

Neji moved again, hesitated, and then whispered. “Thank you, Shikamaru.”

Shikamaru’s eyes burned, his throat closed up and he almost wasn’t able to utter the words as he replied, “Tread carefully, Neji.”

He was gone in the next moment, and Shikamaru snuffed out the cigarette. He rested his arms on his knees and let his head fall between his shoulders. He took several calm, deep breaths, and forced the emotion that brimmed behind his eyes back down. He stayed that way for a long time, letting his mind go in as many directions as it was capable. He cycled through mission plans, strategic scenarios, statistics, weapons catalogues, and reports. He figured it would keep his mind off his weakness and his inability to end it. 

He figured it might exhaust him enough so he could sleep.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Genma studied the rain as it ran patterns down the glass of the mission room. This was where he usually ended up on Saturdays, watching the comings and goings of the various chuunin and jounin as they handed in reports, and then the occasional unlucky genin that was sent out on a weekend D class. Good old fashioned people-watching was a good way to keep your focus and your attention to detail sharp. Not to mention the mission room was usually a hub of local information and gossip. 

Currently, Aoba was sitting next to Genma regaling him with tales from the night before. After several more rounds of strip poker, Kakashi had won after removing nothing but a single shoe. The dark-haired girl, whose name was Fumino, had stood on wobbly feet and invited Aoba to join her for another drink in the kitchen. Neither of them had been seen for the rest of the night.

“…and I’ve seen flexible ninja before, man, but this girl…” Aoba whistled.

Genma grinned and pushed the senbon at the corner of his mouth to the opposite side. “Are we talking like, feet behind the head, pretzel stuff?”

Aoba laced his hands behind his head. “That was just the beginning. After a while I wasn’t sure whose leg was where or what hands were touching what. It was amazing. I bet she’s ANBU, I’ve never seen a body that could bend like that.”

“You gonna see her again?” Genma asked.

Aoba shrugged, “Eh, maybe. She’s not really my type.”

Genma snickered. “Beautiful, dangerous, extremely flexible? Yeah, I can see how that could be a turn-off.”

Aoba laughed. “No, I mean she’s all bio-engineer, nerdy type. When she’s not drunk, she’s talking about enzymes and splicing shit.”

“Beautiful, dangerous, extremely flexible, and smart?” Genma made a face. “It just keeps getting worse.”

“Shut up,” Aoba flashed his teeth in a wide smile.

“You both should shut up,” Izumo grumbled. “My brain is trying to escape through my eyes.”

Aoba chuckled and turned his attention to the two nin behind the mission’s desk. Izumo was barely keeping it together, but Kotetsu had given up and was slumped over on the polished wood with his head cradled in his arms. 

“You know,” Aoba smiled evilly, “I don’t feel sorry for you guys. I’m not the one who decided to drink my weight in alcohol before I had to pull a double.”

Izumo glared at the two special jounin from behind his curtain of bangs. “We weren’t supposed to pull a double today. Shikamaru decided to just not show up for his shift.”

“What are you guys even doing manning the desk anyway?” Aoba’s smile was still wide.

“Shit rolls downhill,” Kotetsu explained into his arm. “Shikamaru didn’t show up, people’s tasks were shifted around. Izumo and I got stuck on detail. Sad story is sad.”

“Well,” Aoba relaxed back into the seat, “I still don’t feel sorry for you guys.” 

“I don’t know what’s crawled up Shikamaru’s ass lately,” Izumo complained. “He’s always moping around, jumping down people’s throats. He should just slap a fan on his back and call himself an Uchiha.” 

“You know Shikamaru’s been working triples for three weeks in a row, right?” Genma murmured. “Maybe you should cut him some slack.”

“Oh, I’ll cut him something,” Izumo groaned. He leaned back in his chair and pressed his fists into his temples. “Just as soon as I reconstruct my brain, I think it’s leaking out my ears.”

Aoba turned to Genma and spoke softly. “Has he really been working triples?”

Genma nodded.

“What the fuck?” Aoba made a face. “Is he on something?”

Genma just shrugged and shook his head. Currently, there were no rumors circulating about Shikamaru, or anything having to do with him at all. Whatever was going on in his life, he had managed to keep it a secret—an extremely difficult task in a town comprised mostly of ninja—and Genma didn’t want to add to a nonexistent rumor mill if he could help it.

Even if he did have a pretty good idea of what the problem was.

“Well, anyway,” Aoba stretched and stood lazily. He turned back to Genma and slipped his hands in his pockets. “What are we doing tonight?”

Genma smiled and teased the tip of his senbon with his tongue. “I’ve got a month’s worth of laundry to do, man. I’m out of uniforms.”

Aoba scoffed, “Underwear, uniform top, soap. Sink. Ten minutes.”

“No!” Genma laughed. “Seriously, I have to do laundry.”

Aoba folded his arms over his chest defiantly. “No you don’t, you’re a guy.”

Izumo snickered from the mission’s table, but Genma ignored it.

“No, seriously,” Aoba kicked softly at Genma’s foot. “What the hell am I supposed to do tonight? Everyone’s got work or ‘date night’ or some stupid shit.”

Genma stood slowly and put his arms behind his head, pulling his back into a long stretch. “I don’t know, man. Go visit bio-engineering or something.”

Aoba’s face went a little slack as he turned his gaze away. He stared out the window for a moment, seeming to watch the rain as it fell in rivulets. 

“Oh, he’s considering it,” Izumo chuckled.

“I am not,” Aoba growled.

“You like her,” Genma said as he clapped Aoba on the shoulder. “And she’s got to at least think you’re all right since she went home with you. Invite her to dinner or bring her some flowers or something. At least go see her, make her night.”

Aoba rubbed the back of his head and walked with Genma to the door. “Maybe, I don’t know, man. We don’t really have anything in common.”

“Besides a great sex drive.”

“Well, yeah, besides that,” Aoba grinned.

Genma waved to Kotetsu and Izumo, who flipped him off lovingly as he and Aoba exited the mission room. Outside, Aoba made one last attempt to get Genma to reconsider.

“You’re really leaving me to my lonesome on a Saturday night?”

“Unless you want to come hang out with me while I do laundry and clean my apartment,” Genma said over his shoulder. “I usually have hardcore gay porn playing while I do chores. We can have our own little party.” He made sure to shake his ass a little as he walked away.

Aoba waved a hand dismissively, “No thanks. I’ll go eat a bucket of razor blades or something.”

“Well, I hope you enjoy that.”

“Jerk.”

“You complete me.”

* * *

Heavily laden with bags from the market, Genma pushed open the door to his apartment with his foot and shambled over the threshold. He shook his head, sending droplets of rain water flying across his entryway. Moving into the kitchen, Genma set the bags on the counter and opened his fridge to put away milk and veggies. Laundry detergent and other various household cleaning supplies filled the space around the sink when he finished unloading.

Grumbling softly, thinking about all the things he would rather be doing, Genma plucked the detergent off the counter and headed down the hall to start a load in the wash.

His footsteps slowed, however, when he heard a soft knock on his door. He set the detergent down and moved back into the entryway. When he opened the door, he startled at seeing who was waiting there for him.

“Sh—Shikamaru?” 

The young Nara stood with his hands in his pockets, hair hanging limp and heavy in his ponytail, his uniform soaking and muddy. Dark circles hung beneath deep, brown eyes that regarded Genma with a quiet kind of exhaustion. The fingers that reached up to pluck the cigarette from between ashen lips were bleeding from a few torn knuckles. 

Genma’s mouth opened and closed around words that wouldn’t move past his throat. His mind raced to try and piece together why Shikamaru was here, at his apartment. Why Shikamaru was bleeding. Why Shikamaru was here at his apartment and also bleeding.

“What are you doing here?”

Genma hadn’t planned on those specific words, and he definitely hadn’t planned on them sounding so harsh, but there they were, unbidden and hanging in the air between them. Shikamaru actually smiled then but there was no humor in the pull of his lips. 

“Kakashi asked me to keep an eye on you while he was gone.”

Genma stopped himself from rolling his eyes. He leaned against the door frame and his tongue searched for a senbon that wasn’t there.

“He’s ridiculous,” he mumbled. “What the hell could happen to me while he’s gone? I’m doing laundry for God’s sake.” He paused, watching the younger man as he lifted that bloody hand again to take another drag from his cigarette. 

“What the hell happened to you?” Genma asked.

Shikamaru shrugged and exhaled, “Training.”

Genma just shook his head and sucked on his teeth. _Bull-shit,_ he thought to himself. Shikamaru’s blasé attitude contradicted the grief that was so obvious in his eyes. Taking a step back, the older tokujō moved aside and gestured with his head.

“Come inside. You’re soaked.”

Shikamaru crushed his cigarette butt out in the offered can by the door and stepped inside. He slowly stripped out of his flack vest and shed his sandals. Genma took the vest and motioned for him to remove his uniform top as well, and when the Nara was down to only his pants and mesh shirt, Genma moved past him to toss the sodden top in the general direction of the laundry.

No words were spoken as Genma removed a small med kit from one of the shelves and tore open cleansing gauze. He reached for Shikamaru’s hands, which the younger man gave up easily, and dabbed at the dirty skin and deep scratches. 

“What’s going on?” Genma asked quietly.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Genma sighed. “Oh yeah, I’m sure it doesn’t. You don’t show up for work today and then you appear at my doorstep looking like you just returned from an S class.” 

Shikamaru studied him from underneath those heavy lids, his jaw clenching and unclenching slowly, and Genma suddenly felt an incomprehensible pull to try and break through that infamous wall the Nara men built around themselves. After many years and many long missions with Nara Shikaku, Genma had learned that the Jounin Commander held in complex emotions to study and explore on his own time. Shikamaru did the same thing, but he was young, and Genma had the sneaking suspicion that Shikamaru was slightly less analytical and felt things a little deeper than his father had. 

Genma tossed the bloody gauze at the trashcan and returned to the injured fingers. His voice was gentle as he continued. “Don’t move,” he instructed. “I’m not very good at this.”

Holding his palm over the scrapes, Genma tried a simple healing jutsu. It was rudimentary, but it had gotten him and his team home on more than one occasion. The flesh slowly started to knit together and the dark bruising faded under the concentrated green glow. Unfortunately, before Genma could finish, his fingers started to tingle and he stopped abruptly. He flexed his hand a few times and looked back up into Shikamaru’s dirt stained face.

“Sorry, that’s the best I can do.”

Shikamaru was still studying him with that look that could be either boredom or fascination. The inability to differentiate between the two frustrated Genma and he looked away. He ran a hand through his hair and, for lack of something better to do, folded his arms across his chest.

“You need a bath,” Genma muttered. “You smell.”

Shikamaru snorted but voiced no objections. Genma turned down the hall and opened the sliding door to a closet. He reached for a towel and slid the door shut again.

“You can use my shower,” he said as he made his way toward the bathroom. “Soaps and shampoos and stuff are all in there. I’ll get you some clean pants too.”

“You don’t have to.”

Shikamaru’s voice was so quiet it was almost inaudible. Genma turned and looked at the younger man over his shoulder. He was leaning heavily against the wall, his normal expression of boredom or aloofness was gone entirely, replaced with a look that Genma couldn’t place.

Knowing it wasn’t the best thing to say, but unable to stop himself, Genma cleared his throat and murmured softly, “Are you gonna be okay?” 

Shikamaru lifted his eyes. He stared at Genma for a few long seconds before he nodded his head slowly.

“Yeah,” he pushed off the wall and moved down the hallway towards Genma. He opened his mouth to say something more, but he hesitated, stopped.

Genma, not buying Shikamaru’s answer for a moment, turned to the younger man and cocked his head inquisitively. “What is it?”

Shikamaru scratched at his chin. He didn’t seem nervous or sheepish, but his hesitation seemed to be some a kind of significant inner battle.

“Would you mind,” he cleared his throat. “Do you think you could cut my hair?”

Genma almost choked. Thinking of Shikamaru with short hair almost hurt. That couldn’t have been what he had asked, could it? 

“C-cut?” Genma stammered. 

“Yeah,” Shikamaru nodded.

Genma blinked. “Are you sure? But, you’ll look so different! What will your mother—”

“—I mean a trim.” Shikamaru explained. “I couldn’t cut it all off. I just need it trimmed. It’s um…” There was that inner battle again. The Nara was struggling hard with something as he looked away and leaned his shoulder against the wall. His eyes became unfocused as he gazed through the floor and into a possible memory. 

“It’s uneven.”

Genma stood staring for several moments, unsure of what to think. However it seemed Shikamaru wasn’t going to say any more on the subject and so Genma would have to make do with his insecure footing. 

“Sure,” Genma murmured. “I can do that for you.”

Shikamaru nodded slowly and then looked at him.

Pain. Pain so deep and so powerful swam in those dark eyes that Genma almost staggered backwards. Shikamaru looked at him with eyes reflecting so much despair and hopelessness it was heartbreaking. For the first time that Genma could remember, Shikamaru studied him in a way that didn't reduce him to mere pieces of a puzzle. Shikamaru's gaze was raw and open, nothing like Genma had ever seen before from any Nara. 

Stepping forward, Genma reached out to run his fingers over Shikamaru’s jaw. He came close and cupped the back of the younger man’s neck. He whispered softly, as if they were sharing a secret and didn’t want to be overheard.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

Shikamaru laughed abruptly, a hard exhale he had been holding in. He shook his head slowly and looked away. He stood a moment, thinking, measuring his response. When he finally turned back and spoke his voice was a dry whisper.

“No…”

Genma had been a jounin for a long time, and he had seen many kinds of break downs. Some were angry rampages that ended in broken bones and damaged property. Others were fits of hysterics that sometimes required medication and a short stint in the hospital. Then there were the kind that was just a simple break down of the body. The mental and physical stress manifested as absolute exhaustion, and when the ninja couldn’t take it anymore, they found someone they could trust and just let go, leaving themselves in that person’s care. Genma had done this with Kakashi, unintentionally, when he had given himself over and had let the Copy Nin hold him up as he fell.

Thinking of Kakashi, Genma suddenly understood why his friend had sent Shikamaru to him. This had nothing at all to do with Genma, or Kakashi’s strange sense of possessiveness. This was about how Genma would not just support Shikamaru, but he would understand what the younger man was going through as well. Kakashi had known that Genma would understand Shikamaru’s pain. 

Genma took a breath, watching Shikamaru’s eyes carefully. Shikamaru’s quiet “no” had been a request. He was asking for permission, and Genma was willing, no, he was glad to offer his help and support. He would have to be cautious at first, but he had a fairly good idea of what Shikamaru needed. 

“Here,” he said quietly, handing Shikamaru the towel. “Shower first. Let’s get you warm.”

Shikamaru took the towel, wrapping it in his arms. He nodded slowly and followed Genma into the bathroom. Inside, Genma pushed the laundry basket out the door and turned on the water in the tub. Shikamaru watched him quietly, waiting.

“I can stay,” Genma said, “but if you want, I can leave you alone.”

Shikamaru glanced at the tub and then back at Genma. “I’d like to just sit in the water for a while, if that’s okay.”

Genma nodded. “You can sit as long as you like.” What that he turned and slipped out the door. Before he closed it, however, he was stopped once more by Shikamaru’s mournful voice.

“Genma…” 

Genma turned back and watched the line of Shikamaru’s shoulders, “Yeah?”

“Thank you…” 

Genma, knowing words wouldn’t mean anything in this moment, said nothing and closed the door. He stood in the hall listening for a few minutes as Shikamaru undressed. When the sound of running water ceased, Genma sighed softly, pushed off the smooth wood, and went to start a load of laundry. He threw Shikamaru’s uniform top in with his things and pulled the plates out of the Nara’s flack vest. He placed the plates on the shelf above the dryer and started to empty the pockets. 

Like any seasoned nin’s vest, Shikamaru’s had hidden compartments, and, like any seasoned _elite_ nin, some of those compartments were custom. What was interesting however was Shikamaru’s vest had pockets _within_ pockets. The complexity of the hidden folds astounded Genma, and before the tokujō knew it, the top of the laundry shelf was covered with enough scrolls, kunai, cigarette packs, lighters, soldier pill packs, blank tags, and other miscellaneous paraphernalia for three ninja. It was mind-boggling to think how everything fit.

Checking the gutted armor once more, Genma deemed it ready for the washing machine. He started to toss it in, but his thumb traced over something folded in the bottom seam. Upon closer inspection, Genma realized that whatever was hidden there was almost completely sewn in. 

Curiosity hit like a punch to the gut as Genma studied the seam. There had to be a way in, and it was most likely a jutsu. He ran his finger over the shape, feeling the chakra holding it. He concentrated, focusing on the lines of the binding and found the tie. He released it, and a simple pocket opened.

Thinking because it was such an easy thing to open, whatever was inside couldn’t be that secret. There had been more complex pockets in the vest that had held cigarettes, but hen Genma reached inside, he found three pictures encased in a small, airtight bag. The first was a handsome photo of Shikamaru and his family. His mother and father looked proud, and Shikamaru was actually sort of smiling. The second was a recent picture of Shikamaru and his genin team. Choji and Ino had their arms wrapped around Shikamaru from both sides, and the Nara was feigning the most annoyed face he possibly could. The picture was charming and beautiful at the same time. In smiles and easy touches, it showed a timeless friendship and affection between the three.

Genma had to open the bag to see the last picture, because it was hidden between the other two. When he pulled it out, his heart gave an awful pang in his chest.

The Shikamaru in the photo was younger, but not by much. He had his jounin vest on and was standing in the mission room. Close beside him was none other than Neji. They were both dirty and worn, but they had that sparkle in their eyes that one gets when they return from a particularly successful mission. Genma guessed they had just come home to Konoha and were talking in the reports line when someone had caught them off guard in taking the photo. It was not a mystery why Shikamaru obviously treasured this picture. The two of them looked like best friends. Their body language spoke of trust and a camaraderie that ran so deep you could actually see it. 

Sighing softly, Genma slipped the photos back into the bag, and placed it underneath one of Shikamaru’s cigarette packs. He then tossed the vest into the washer, added detergent, and turned on the machine. He tried not to think about the picture as he tidied up his apartment, but of course he couldn’t think of anything else. That photo was a measurement of how much Shikamaru felt for Neji, and also a reference for how much pain he was probably in. There was nothing quite like a broken heart, and a broken heart that stemmed from an unrequited love was the worst kind.

Genma would know.

After about a half hour, Genma decided he would return to the bathroom. He knocked softly on the door, but he received no answer. He didn’t wait long for one, however, and pushed inside without excusing himself. 

Shikamaru sat in the bathtub, his arms resting on the rim. His head lay on his crossed wrists, his face hidden. Genma moved inside and closed the door behind him. Slowly, he made his way across the room and knelt on the floor. The Nara showed no reaction to his approach and made no sound as Genma carefully brushed back wet, dark hair.

“Shikamaru…” Genma whispered.

Tears slid slowly down tanned cheeks. They dripped softly from a strong chin, making tiny ripples that barely disturbed the calm surface of the water. Shikamaru sat staring off into nothing, his eyes red-rimmed and anguished. Gooseflesh broke out over his skin as the water cooled around his body.

Maybe it was the way those dark locks fell so haphazardly over Shikamaru’s eyes, or perhaps it was just the novelty of seeing a Nara with his hair down. Whatever it was Genma found Shikamaru exquisitely beautiful in that moment. His heart ached at his friend’s misery, but Genma found himself so drawn to the younger man that he had to take a few deep breaths to calm the storm that had risen inside him.

Shikamaru sniffed and lifted a hand to palm at his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

Genma ran his hands over the other’s head, caressing wet hair and down the slippery skin of Shikamaru’s back. He brought his lips to a furrowed brow and spoke so softly it was barely a whisper.

“Don’t be sorry.”

Shikamaru sniffed again. His lips trembled. “Did you know, I can run six missions on a com simultaneously? I can decipher eight lines of code in less than three minutes. And I can beat everyone I know in shogi—handicapped,” he stopped for a moment, clenching his jaw as a fresh well of grief filled his eyes. He squeezed them shut tight as if that would stop the tears from falling. 

“I can run ANBU division… but I can’t figure out… I… I can’t…”

Genma ran his fingers through dark hair as Shikamaru buried his face in his arms. His shoulders shook as Genma rubbed them gently, placing light kisses on shivering skin. The ache in the older man’s heart tightened into a crippling sting as he listened to the sounds of someone in true agony. He wondered briefly if this was what it had been like for Kakashi when he himself had broken down: so close, and yet unable to do anything at all.

When Shikamaru finally stilled, and his breathing evened out, Genma turned the hot water back on, and quickly stripped out of his clothes. He climbed into the tub facing the other man, and tangled his legs in with Shikamaru’s. This way he was as close to the Nara as he could get without sitting in his lap. He touched and caressed as Shikamaru’s body warmed. He ran his hands up and down the other man’s arms, massaged his biceps and shoulders. The shivering ceased, and when Genma turned to shut the water off again, Shikamaru sighed and lowered a hand to knuckle at his eyes. He blinked slowly several times, squeezing his eyes shut, and then opening them wide. “God, my head hurts,” he pressed his palm into the temple and groaned softly.

“Tension headache, I’m sure,” Genma murmured.

“I’m beginning to think steady pounding behind my eyes might actually be my baseline,” Shikamaru answered quietly.

“If you sit up a little, I can wash your hair. A scalp massage might ease it a bit.”

Shikamaru looked at him for a moment with more surprise than Genma had expected. “Really?” he asked.

Genma frowned. “Of course, I’m going to cut it, might as well wash it too.”

Shikamaru’s face slipped back into that thoughtful blank Genma was so familiar with. It was comforting to see the younger man coming back from where he had been earlier, but he couldn’t understand why Shikamaru had suddenly become so contemplative.

“What?” Genma asked.

Shikamaru blinked, and his eyes focused again. “Nothing. I was just thinking about how no one’s ever washed my hair but my mom. And that was when I was like, three.”

Genma chuckled. “You’ve never had it done at an onsen? Or at the barber?”

Shikamaru shook his head. “I don’t really like people touching my hair.”

“Oh,” Genma wanted to laugh, but Shikamaru’s face reflected seriousness. “Well, are you going to be okay with me cutting it? It requires quite a bit of touching.”

Shikamaru nodded. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Genma’s attention strayed from the conversation as he watched Shikamaru’s eyes follow the line of his jaw. The Nara’s gaze slid slowly down his neck and dipped into the hollow around his collar bone. Genma marveled for a moment at how he had become the subject of such a critical study. Somehow, in the past month, he had managed to fall under the gaze of the two most intensely focused men in Konoha, and he still wasn’t sure why. He knew he was fairly easy on the eyes, but Genma didn’t think he deserved this almost reverent observation.

It seemed like Shikamaru did, however. He lifted his fingers and trailed them across the plane of Genma’s shoulders. His touch was exploratory, not sexual, but Genma’s pulse still raced at the feel of it. The older man racked his mind to think of something to keep him grounded, keep him in control of his own thoughts and actions lest he lose himself in such an innocent contact. Nothing came, of course.

Then Shikamaru stopped suddenly and pulled his fingers away. He blinked several times and lowered his hands into the water. At first, Genma thought he was imagining things, but then he realized that what he was seeing was indeed real. Shikamaru’s skin had reddened at the tops of his cheeks and over the bridge of his nose. Embarrassment, clear and simple, burned in the young Nara’s eyes and Genma though he might be dreaming. He had never considered Shikamaru cute before, but that was the only way to describe the young, blushing, self-conscious man before him now. Shikamaru was being cute, and Genma wasn’t even sure what had happened.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Shikamaru’s voice was admonitory, but the ghost of a smile pulled at his lips.

Genma grinned, “Like what?”

Shikamaru responded by flicking water at Genma’s face. Genma retaliated in the customary way, and soon enough, there was water everywhere and laughter instead of sobs rang out in the small bathroom.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Shikamaru stayed with Genma for the next few days. The two ninja’s routine didn’t change much, they still went to work, pulled long hours, ate too much, and slept too little, but Genma was glad of the company and Shikamaru seemed more and more like himself with each passing day.

Genma learned more about Shikamaru as the week passed; small details that he had not noticed before, like the Nara actually didn’t like smoking, he just did it because he was addicted. Genma also learned that Shikamaru was an excellent cook, and that he really didn’t like socks. And finally, Genma was schooled in the fact that there was absolutely no chance of winning any kind of game against the damn strategist. Unless luck was involved, of course, and even then Shikamaru could somehow turn the odds to his favor and Genma was left baffled.

The atmosphere was easy and comfortable. Five days turned into six. Genma was grateful for the distraction. As long as Shikamaru was there, playing cards, cooking, watching movies or reading with him, Genma didn’t have to think about Kakashi. He wondered sometimes if that was the young Nara’s intent, but the more he watched, the more he listened and read the atmosphere, the more he felt that Shikamaru was just happy to be near someone that didn’t want or expect anything from him. They were acting as each other’s support, and it was going smoother than Genma could have ever hoped or planned for. 

When Genma realized this, he also realized how obvious it was that this had also been a part of Kakashi’s plan.

There was no sex, at least not for those first six days. Shikamaru was still a little raw and Genma didn’t want to shake the perfect groove they had fallen into. He wanted Shikamaru that was for sure, but not so badly that it was distracting. Genma appreciated the way the younger man left his hair down after a bath, and the way he chewed his lip when he was reading something particularly interesting, but Genma was not so overcome with desire that he wanted to pounce.

That is, until the seventh day.

Genma had finished a large task load the night before and had decided to spend the day cleaning and tending to his small herb garden on the porch. As luck would have it, Shikamaru came home early and Genma could tell straight away that the younger man was in high spirits. He talked more than he usually did, and his eyes were brighter and his air was more engaging than it had been for several months.

“What’s up with you?” Genma asked as he swirled the chopsticks around in the sizzling stir fry.

Shikamaru shrugged, “Records is done.”

Genma almost toppled over. “Are you _serious?_ That’s amazing! Has Records EVER been completely organized?”

Shikamaru smiled softly and shrugged again, “Probably not.”

They decided to celebrate. Whether what happened later was because of the alcohol, or the relief that months of endless organization was finally over, Genma would never know. What he did know however, was that suddenly every move that Shikamaru made drove him wild. Every brush against Shikamaru’s arm or thigh as they washed dishes sent shivers coursing through him. Every look Shikamaru sent his way seemed to be loaded with suggestion. The Nara’s hips, his ass, his _whole body_ seemed to be moving, twisting, posing in the most perfect ways to make all of Genma’s parts tighten almost painfully. 

It was the smile though, that sexy, Nara half-smile that finally sent Genma over the edge. Shikamaru was sitting adjacent from him at the kotatsu and seemed to be expecting it as Genma leaned in and kissed him. The Nara slid his hands into Genma’s hair, effectively pulling the older man into his lap. The press of bodies was so welcome, so natural, that Genma found himself moaning desperately as Shikamaru kissed down his throat. 

“Mmm, senpai,” Shikamaru murmured, “I wasn’t expecting this tonight.”

“Liar,” Genma growled as he rocked in Shikamaru’s hold.

The rest of the night was a blur.

Everything about Shikamaru was methodical, especially when it came to sex. Every touch, every kiss, every movement was agonizingly slow. Every push into Genma’s body was deep and powerful. Shikamaru kept Genma on the edge for what seemed like hours and when release finally came, it was so intense, so overwhelming, that Genma couldn’t even find his voice to cry out.

After a second round, Genma pulled the young Nara into the shower where they spent a good amount of time washing each other. After they dried, and decided to forgo clothes and eat a snack naked, Genma switched his attention to Shikamaru’s piercings. He sat watching Shikamaru’s naked body as he moved about the kitchen and smiled as he felt himself hardening once again at the thought of all that metal through that smooth, tanned skin.

“So, do they do anything?” he asked finally, “The piercings? I heard hood piercings make orgasm easier for girls. Is it the same kind of thing?”

Shikamaru shook his head and took a long drink of water from Genma’s glass.

“They feel good, but that’s not why I got them.”

Genma sat forward, leaning his chin playfully in his palm. “So why did you get them?”

Shikamaru set the container of cold stir fry on the table and sat. He picked up a pair of chopsticks and slipped a pea pod into his mouth, chewing slowly.

“They’re all tenketsu nodes.”

Genma’s eyes widened, his chopsticks halfway to his mouth. “What?”

Shikamaru took another bite. “It’s complicated.”

“Uh, wow,” Genma was fully hard now. “Okay, wait. I’m pretty damn sure that there’s only one point in the groin area, and you’ve got like eight hundred piercings up your dick, man. Explain.”

Shikamaru looked away and took another sip of water. His cheeks were red. “The one at the bottom is through the node. The rest work like conductors.”

“Okay,” Genma gestured with his chopsticks. “So, you pierced yourself in all these places to enhance pleasure and pain receptors during sex? That’s kind of dangerous when you think about it.” Genma slipped a piece of chicken into his mouth and chewed for a moment as he thought. “That would be real tricky to do. The piercer would have to have extensive knowledge of ten…ketsu...” 

Shikamaru, still looking away, cleared his throat and took another bite of stir fry.

“The only ones who could have done that…” Genma breathed as things became clear. He set his chopsticks down and leaned in close to Shikamaru.

“Did Neji pierce you?” he whispered.

Shikamaru nodded.

Mouth suddenly dry, Genma spoke softly, “And he uses them to…”

“Whatever he wants,” Shikamaru finished.

Genma sat back, running his hands through his hair. He’d have never figured Shikamaru for masochist. Using the piercings and his knowledge of chakra points, Neji could no doubt do more than just send pleasure or pain through Shikamaru’s body. With the placement of the piercings, the Hyūga could probably halt orgasm, or lengthen it, or suspend feeling or freeze it or whatever the hell else he wanted to do.

“Damn, Shikamaru,” Genma’s voice trembled slightly, “That’s really hot.”

Shikamaru’s eyes widened and he looked up at Genma. The surprise was so evident on his face that Genma was taken aback.

“Really?” the younger man murmured.

“Uh,” Genma made a face, “duh? That’s genius! Thank God someone out there is using clan abilities for something useful other than killing people! And hello, I’m Genma! Why wouldn’t I think tantric sex manipulation is _awesome?_ ”

Shikamaru blinked, his body relaxing. “I thought you were going to tell me it was weird or unnatural or something.”

It was Genma’s turn to be surprised. Shikamaru was self-conscious about this? Did he really think he was doing something unnatural? 

Genma scooted his chair closer and slid his hand over Shikamaru’s. He spoke earnestly, from his heart.

“If you like it, then there’s nothing weird or unnatural about it.”

Shikamaru smiled then, that sexy half-smile that made Genma want to suck his cock. “When did you become the smart one?”

Genma made a noise and picked up his chopsticks. “Whatever, you’re such a brat.”

They ate, they laughed, and when Genma asked if he could try working the piercings, Shikamaru shuddered and let Genma lead him into the bedroom. However, Genma soon found that he couldn’t keep his head around naked Shikamaru for very long. He worked the Nara’s piercings all right, but once Shikamaru had his mouth and hands on him, Genma sort of just melted into a pile of submissive putty. 

Genma liked true tops, they made him feel pampered and gave him the chance to let go and just feel for a while. He couldn’t do this on a regular basis, but every now and again it was a nice change.

After four more rounds, Genma could barely move his arms. He lay face down, his hands twisted into sheets as Shikamaru gently pulled out of his body. He felt a warm tongue on his back, and hot breath against the shell of his ear. Hands trailed up his sides, and Genma knew immediately that there was weight behind that touch. He turned his head as Shikamaru spoke so softly, it could barely be called a whisper.

“I wish I could fall in love with someone like you.” 

Genma held his breath, tightened his grip on the sheets. As Shikamaru lowered his head and kissed down his spine, Genma felt his heart breaking. Even after everything that had happened with Raidou, he still had probably not even come close to how much pain Shikamaru was in now. He pushed gently against the younger man and rolled to his back. He slid his arms around Shikamaru and let that long, beautiful, pierced body settle against his. It wasn’t much, but Genma didn’t think there was anything else he could do besides give this physical comfort.

He lay there, running his fingers through Shikamaru’s hair and fantasized about pressing that bastard Hyūga’s face into the concrete. That could possibly have been the worst idea he had ever thought up since Neji could snap him in half, but it was still a nice image. Genma replayed it in his mind a few times and he felt a little better.

“Genma…” Shikamaru said softly.

“Hm?” 

Shikamaru shifted and slid an arm around the older man’s waist. “Am I a fool?”

It wasn’t Shikamaru’s words, but the tone of his voice that brought tears to Genma’s eyes. It made him think of Raidou, and unexpectedly, Kakashi. He swallowed thickly and held the young man tighter.

“No,” he whispered. “No, Shikamaru, you’re not a fool at all.”

Genma held Shikamaru the rest of the night. He barely slept, and as he lay watching the sun come up between the leaves of the trees outside his window, Genma realized that he missed Kakashi so much it hurt.

* * *

Kakashi crouched on a rooftop about thirty feet above street level and brushed his damp hair aside. The targets moved through the crowd like parasites. They stood out, they didn’t even care. They had an entourage of elite nin watching their backs. They had known Kakashi and his team was coming and had prepared. The Copy Nin wiped at his eyes, brushing away the light raindrops. This sucked.

Five weeks out, and not much closer than they had been when they started. At least the reinforcements had arrived. If they could get the ball rolling tonight, the eradication shouldn’t take more than a few days at most. He was glad Owl was here. As much as he knew the young ANBU had been overdoing it lately, the Copy Nin knew they would need his Byakugan.

Crow appeared at his side, smelling faintly of ink as he always did.

“Reinforcements have been assigned. Falcon and Goat have point.”

“Good,” Kakashi replied. “We move out in an hour. Pull back and wait for Falcon’s signal.”

Crow followed him as Kakashi abandoned the roof. The two nin scaled the city wall and leapt into the trees just outside the limits. Kakashi found a place high up were they could watch the gates but stay hidden, as well as dry, and slid down to a seated position.

“I’ll be glad when this is over,” he murmured as he brushed water off his jounin vest. He may have been leading a team of ANBU, but Kakashi had retired the black and whites a few years ago. He was too high profile for it anyway.

Crow nodded and squatted on the limb close to where Kakashi sat. “This mission has gone on a lot longer than first anticipated. Sakura will be worried for me.”

Kakashi nodded. “She will, but she’s strong. She’ll be all right.”

Crow turned his head and set cool, dark eyes on Kakashi. “Are you anxious to return to your lover as well?”

Kakashi stilled. The statement had hurt, surprisingly. He tried to cover with something inappropriate. “Ha, no, I don’t have a lover. I just have sex with a lot of people.”

Crow’s head cocked and the movement was very birdlike. “Really? I was sure that you and Genma—”

“—Maybe we should go over the OP one more time?” Kakashi interrupted. “Make sure we’ve covered all possibilities? Don’t wanna get caught off guard.”

Crow looked away, his posture slack. “We have exhausted all possibilities. This plan was formed by Nara Shikamaru and Hyūga Neji. I do not think that it needs any more adjustments.”

Annoyed that Crow thought Shikamaru and Neji’s plan was too good for his expertise, but amused with the blunt way his young teammate stated it, Kakashi snorted and turned his attention back to the city gates.

“Well,” Kakashi mumbled, “for your information, not that it’s any of your business, Genma and I are just friends. We have a little fun once in a while, but nothing serious.”

Crow made a humming noise. It was obvious the ANBU didn’t believe him.

“I mean it,” Kakashi said.

“Of course, senpai,” Crow answered.

Kakashi growled under his breath and turned away. His face felt hot. Was it really that obvious? Or was everyone just thinking that’s how it was because they were having sex? Couldn’t two guys have sex without everyone thinking they were getting married anymore? What happened to friends with benefits? Why couldn’t everyone just mind their own damn business?

Sighing, Kakashi put his chin in his palm. Who was he kidding? Not himself, that’s for sure. He was so head over heels for Genma it wasn’t even funny. He had tried, he had taken Guy’s words to heart but it was no use. His friend was right: Kakashi fell for people hard, and he fell quickly. Everything about his life was fast and intense, so why should his feelings for someone be any different? 

But really, it was fine. Kakashi knew Genma didn’t feel the same, but it wasn’t the end of the world. So he loved the special jounin, that didn’t mean anything had to change. It was obvious Genma liked his company, and their sex was unreal. Kakashi knew that all he had to do was just stay interesting and never lose his mojo. If he could manage that, he could stay with Genma in a semi-not completely fucked up kind of way. Kakashi also knew that Genma was a cool guy and would always be cool with him. If the sex stopped that would suck big time, but there were more important things. Like being Genma’s friend. That in itself was the best prize of all.

He was just going to have to start thinking of the sex as a really, really fantastic, amazing, super awesome bonus.

“Senpai,” Crow’s voice was low. “Are you all right?”

“Oh, I was just thinking of my neighbor and her cat,” Kakashi drawled. “She’s supposed to have kittens sometime this week and I’m going to miss it. The cat I mean, not my neighbor.”

“I figured, senpai,” Crow said flatly.

Damn, what had he been thinking when he told Shikamaru to keep an eye on Genma for him? Shikamaru had been all mopey, depressed puppy when he had left and Kakashi had sent him to Genma? Nara men were always twice as appealing when they were moody. Kakashi had wanted Shikamaru to feel better, and the thought of Shikamaru with Genma had set his blood on fire, but he really hadn’t thought that whole thing through. Shikamaru was _extremely_ good at sex, and on top of that, he had all those sick piercings. What if Genma got all attached to Shikamaru while he was gone? And there was no way Shikamaru could resist Genma, that was just fucking possible. The kid was so lonely and depressed about Hyūga Fucking Neji that he was probably—

A shift in the air pulled Kakashi from his thoughts. As deep into distress as he had been, it still didn’t overwhelm more than twenty years of ninja training. He pushed aside his worries and troubles at home as a cold feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. The Copy Nin listened carefully for a moment before he moved from his comfortable position. 

“Senpai?” Crow stood at his side. “You feel it?”

“Yup,” Kakashi whispered.

“What is happening?” Crow murmured. “It feels strange.”

Kakashi stretched his chakra out, feeling for disturbances. He could feel Falcon’s chakra but it felt faint and far away. Goat and one other ANBU were closer but they seemed fine. Then Kakashi felt another presence, and moments later Owl landed on the limb beside him.

“What’s up?” Kakashi asked.

Owl sat perfectly still, his face turned towards the city gates. His long, thick braid hung down over his shoulder, brushing softly against Kakashi’s arm. The young Hyūga was silent for a moment, but then his low voice rumbled softly behind the mask.

“I’m not sure… but I think we may have a problem.”

Kakashi waited. Whatever the problem was, it was something both he and Crow could not feel. Only Owl could see it, so they had to be patient.

Minutes went by before Owl’s frozen body moved. He inhaled sharply and pointed to the ground in the opposite direction of the city.

“They’re coming.”

* * *

Shikamaru shuffled the stack of files he was carrying from one arm to the other. He took one last sip of the horrid office coffee and tossed the empty cup in the trash can. He knew his days would be infinitely better if he could just remember to get his own damn coffee pot and put the thing in his office. Izumo’s coffee was definitely going to kill him.

As he rounded the corner, he spotted Raidou. The bodyguard saw him as well and waved. 

“Hey, Shikamaru, haven’t seen you in a while.”

Shikamaru nodded. “Hey.”

“What’re you up to?” 

“Now that Records is done, Iruka has me going through storage.”

Raidou chuckled. “That’s not really in your job description, is it? Can’t you get some unfortunate chuunin to do that stuff?”

Shikamaru had considered that at one point, but the thought of some young chuunin rifling through piles and piles of equipment and other assorted shinobi equipment, some potentially explosive, turned the Nara’s stomach.

“No,” he answered simply. 

Raidou’s smile widened. “Yeah, I guess not. Hey, where’ve you been lately? I came by your house a couple times last week and your mom said you were out.”

Shikamaru shrugged and started down the hallway, “I was at Genma’s.”

Raidou seemed to falter in his steps. “Genma’s?”

“Yeah,” Shikamaru answered. “He’s a good cook, and he keeps his house real clean. He’s also quiet, which is something of a rarity in this particular village. Ironic, seeing as this is a _hidden shinobi village_.”

Raidou chuckled again, walking in step beside Shikamaru as they both made their way up the stairs towards the Hokage’s office. He seemed hesitant, but not uneasy. It wasn’t that hard for Shikamaru to decipher what the older man was thinking.

“How is he?” Raidou asked.

Shikamaru stopped and turned to his friend. “Uh, he eats too much salt. He waits too long to do laundry. He leaves the window in the kitchen open so bugs get in. He doesn’t sleep enough, and when he does sleep, it’s the restless body twitching type of sleep. He also has nightmares a lot. Not enough for it to be a problem, but definitely more often than normal.”

The surprise on Raidou’s face would have been comical, but Shikamaru was distracted by the fact that he had just given himself away. Really now, he was supposed to be a genius.

Trying to play if off, Shikamaru remarked snidely, “You know, you could ask him yourself.”

“I…” Raidou murmured. It was obvious he was trying to deal with Shikamaru’s accidental confession. “You and him, um… what about…?”

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. I came to him, okay? Forget it, it’s not a big deal. What’s important is that he could really use his best friend now. He’s been stressing over Kakashi being gone so long and it’s wearing him down. There’s only so much that I can do for him.”

Raidou ran a hand over his mouth. “I have been trying to think of how to talk to him.”

“Just do it.”

Slipping his hands into his pockets, Raidou nodded slowly. Shikamaru had just dumped a lot on him at once, unintentionally of course but now the older man had to sort it out. 

“Thank you, Shikamaru, for telling me.”

“I’ll see you around,” Shikamaru nodded back and turned to go. That hadn’t been exactly how he had envisioned his afternoon going.

Stepping through the door to Iruka’s office, Shikamaru pulled on a blank face and tried to look as bored as he could. Iruka had an uncanny ability to sniff out if something wasn’t right, especially for one that was not considered an elite ninja. The last thing Shikamaru felt like doing at the moment was hashing through his own stress and his own personal feelings about ninjas who shall remain nameless with his former teacher. 

“I got those files you wanted, sensei.”

Iruka looked up from his own stack of paperwork and made a face. “Don’t call me sensei, Shikamaru, I’m not a sensei anymore.”

Shikamaru shrugged. “I can’t help it. It’s a habit that was beaten into me when I was eleven. It’s never gonna go away.”

“Snot,” Iruka made a noise and returned his attention to the papers in front of him. “Just set that stuff on the desk over there.” He made a motion with his head and returned to shuffling. 

Shikamaru assumed he had been dismissed and so after relieving himself of his file burden, he turned to head for the door.

Iruka’s voice stopped him, however. “Shikamaru, I need to speak to you about something.”

 _Oh shit._ “What’s up, sensei?” he didn’t turn around.

If Iruka was annoyed with Shikamaru’s refusal to drop the title, he didn’t say anything. Instead, Shikamaru heard him close the file on his desk and lean back in his chair.

“What do you know about Sasuke’s condition?”

Shikamaru turned swiftly. That had been so unexpected the Nara almost lost his balance. His curiosity spiked as the conversation now had his complete attention. Everything he had read about the emotion suppression jutsu—which wasn’t a lot actually—flashed through his head at once. Thousands of possible ways this conversation could be going played out in his head like some complex shogi board.

“A little,” he said calmly.

Iruka laced his fingers together at his chin and spoke softly. His dark eyes became intense as he regarded Shikamaru from underneath his lashes.

“The file for the case is under S-class in section thirteen. The number is thirteen, eighty-one, fifty-one, zero, zero.”

Shikamaru’s eyebrows narrowed as his brain suddenly went in a thousand more directions. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I think you should have a look at it,” Iruka’s voice was calm, noncommittal, as if he was speaking about the weather or prices of fruits at the market. 

Confused, his head starting to hurt, Shikamaru took a step toward the ex-sensei’s desk and slipped his hands into his pockets. “I would, sensei, but I don’t understand what it has to do with me. And besides, I don’t have clearance for section thirteen.”

Iruka waved a hand dismissively. “Oh come now, Shikamaru. Clearance? You’re going to let that stop you?” 

Shikamaru felt his heart racing. Iruka speaking to him in this grave tone, the strange air in the room, the classified subject matter... His head started to pound with the implications of it all. Why did Iruka want him to look over the file on Sasuke’s sentencing? Why would it matter to him?

“I’ll look into it, sensei. Thank you.”

With that, Iruka’s expression softened dramatically, and he leaned back in his chair. “Good, I’m glad. Now, on to more personal matters.”

Shikamaru’s mind once more exploded into thousands of possible scenarios and outcomes, but he reeled himself back in quickly enough to choke out. “Excuse me?”

Iruka stood suddenly and pointed at Shikamaru. His voice was high pitched and bellowing as he shouted.

“ _HOW THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING MY PANTS!_ ”

It probably wasn’t the smartest reaction, but Iruka’s outburst was so random and unexpected that Shikamaru had to laugh. He covered it as best he could with a fist over his mouth, but he might as well have been rolling on the floor with the look the ex-sensei was giving him.

“Don’t you dare, you brat!” Iruka snarled. “First Kakashi’s got them, and then Genma, and now you? __What the hell!”

“Shit, sensei,” Shikamaru tried desperately to stifle his chuckles, “your pants are slutty.”

“God damnit, Shikamaru!” Iruka slammed his fists down on his desk. “You’re nineteen!”

Shikamaru was finding it harder and harder to keep himself from laughing. There was no one in the village that reacted better than Iruka when you pushed his buttons. It was completely understandable why Kakashi liked him so much.

“I’m old enough to consent, so what’s the problem, sensei?”

“My problem is that you’re still a teenager and you’re sleeping around with men twice your age!”

Shikamaru put his hands in his pockets and let his mouth slide into that half smile he knew got a lot of people worked up.

“But those men that are twice my age also happen to be some of the greatest shinobi this village has ever seen. They’re loved and respected and would never do anything to hurt me.”

Iruka hesitated for a moment, his posture losing its haughty assurance as he closed his eyes and took breath.

“That’s not the poin—”

“—What is the point, sensei? Are you jealous?”

“No,” Iruka opened his eyes and leveled the younger man with a serene gaze, “I’m not jealous. I’m merely trying to look out for you.”

“You’re being a hypocrite,” Shikamaru said softly.

“I’m not being a hypocrite!” Iruka barked, “I’m just worried! You haven’t been yourself in a long time! You’ve been distracted and you always look so sad and you’re so hard to talk to because you talk circles around everyone and I get frustrated with you before I even start and so I _start yelling and turn into some stupid rage monster before I can give you any real advice or comfort or anything!_ ”

Shikamaru was taken aback. He hadn’t meant to make his former sensei so angry, and he was horrified that Iruka was so worried about him and felt like he couldn’t say anything. Standing there, watching his teacher, his friend, his comrade, looking so angry and upset, caused a fresh wave of guilt to wash over him. He was such an ass, Iruka just wanted to help.

“I’m sorry, Iruka-san.”

Iruka folded his arms over his chest and shook his head. “No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. You don’t deserve it and you certainly don’t need it on top of whatever else is going on in your life.” 

He did need it, but he wasn’t going to admit that out loud. Shikamaru knew full well that his relationship with Kakashi was purely for fun, just some stress relief now and then, but with Genma it was different. If he continued on this path with Genma, he would develop genuine feelings for the man and that would lead straight into yet another broken heart.

“You should know, sensei,” Shikamaru started, “my relationship with Genma is—”

“—No, it’s okay, Shikamaru,” Iruka interrupted, “It’s not any of my business. You don’t have to tell me.”

Shikamaru held up his hands, “But I’m going to tell you anyway because you’re a good fucking person and you worry about everyone when you really don’t have to.”

Iruka hesitated for a moment, but finally nodded and sat back down.

“It’s true I’ve had a rough year,” Shikamaru said, “but it’s pretty much all due to stupid shit that I’ve done—and I want to you understand that I was completely aware of how stupid it all was so I take full responsibility for it. Kakashi has been a good friend the past few months, and Genma, well…

“Genma has been more than a good friend, he’s been a good distraction. I know that I’ve been working myself into a corner with this situation, but I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt in thinking that I’m smart enough to know when too much of a good thing is too much.”

Iruka nodded again, thoughtful.

Shikamaru sighed and turned to look out the window as he spoke. “I’m going back home this weekend. It’s been just harmless comfort and support up to this point, but if I stay with him, if it continues like this, it’ll turn into something more and that just can’t work.”

“Because of Kakashi?” Iruka asked.

It took a moment to quiet all the reasons and possibilities and scenarios going in his head, but Shikamaru finally nodded.

“Because of a lot of things.” 

Silence stretched on for a few moments and Shikamaru figured Iruka was taking the time to process. When the former sensei finally spoke, it seemed to lift some of the weight sitting on the young tokujō’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry I was harsh,” Iruka murmured, “I know you’re analytical about everything, I just know that even geniuses get caught up in emotion.”

Even through the hurt that blossomed in his chest, Shikamaru turned back to his teacher and smiled, “Kakashi get emotional on you sometimes, sensei?”

Iruka scoffed and waved him away. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Go back to work.”

“Sure, sensei,” he turned on his heel and headed towards the door, “You want your pants back, you know where to find me.”

“You’re a brat, I’m telling your mother.”

“She already knows.”

* * *

Blood ran down the side of Kakashi’s face like sweat on a hot summer day. It made a horrible squelching noise as he tightened his fingers around the hilt of the kunai. The ninja whose flesh he had sliced to ribbons lay at his feet, gurgling, trying to suck his last breath in through a mouthful of gore.

Kakashi moved across the room and knelt beside Boar. Her long, blonde hair was matted and her ANBU uniform was torn. She leaned against the wall, clutching her side. Her mask was on the floor by her feet.

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi whispered.

Boar actually smiled at him. “Not your fault, Kakashi-san.”

Kakashi reached out his hand and placed it over hers. “Is there someone you want me to speak to, when I get back?”

Boar closed her dark brown eyes. “Just my brother. Tell him I did my duty, and I have no regrets.”

Squeezing her hand, Kakashi nodded and stood. “It was an honor.”

“Oh no,” Boar’s smile widened and she looked up at him. “The honor was definitely mine.”

Kakashi said nothing and turned to leap from the window. He made it to the trees just outside and down to the ground before the explosion went off. Boar had successfully activated the explosion tag, wiping out the top floor of the building. 

Now the real games began.

The Copy Nin moved into the street, blood still dripping from his chin and his fingers. He wasn’t even sure if it was his own or not anymore. Had they hit him? He couldn’t feel it if they had. That was probably a bad sign.

He heard shouting, screaming, hard footsteps of a large crowd coming his way. He stood his ground, ready. He glanced up and saw a flash of black and white. Crow was still there. He was sure Owl was too.

Everyone else was dead.

Kakashi wiped the blood from his left eye, wondering if Boar’s brother was all she had, or if he was just the person she had held most dear. Did Kakashi have someone like that? Would he ask his comrades to tell Sasuke he had fulfilled his duty? Tell Iruka to not worry? Tell Naruto that he had no regrets? If he were to die today, would he ask Crow to tell Genma that he had loved him? That he wished he had told him? Kakashi missed Genma with all his heart. He wanted to see him once more. He wanted Genma to know he had missed him.

The shouting continued. Figures came around the corner brandishing all kinds of weapons from pitch forks to katana. The first to spot him screamed to the others and motioned for them to follow. Kakashi stood ready, his kunai held tight in his bloody hand.

He wanted to go home.

* * *

Genma tried to convince himself it was not a big deal. The mission was supposed to have been two to four weeks. What was an extra week or two? Missions rarely fit within the time estimations, especially S-class. There was no need to worry, Kakashi was fine.

Fresh off a shift, and straight from the coffee stand, the special jounin approached the Hokage tower with a cool mask covering the storm of turmoil raging through him. He teased the tip of a senbon with his tongue and tried not to scream. Kakashi’s team wasn’t technically late yet, but Shikamaru had come to his place to tell him that he had ordered reinforcements. Genma had noticed right away that there was something wrong, and quickly caught on that Neji was one of the reinforcements that had been sent. Genma had made dinner then, but neither ninja had eaten much. When Shikamaru had followed him to the couch and laid his head in Genma’s lap, Genma was once again grateful for the younger man’s company. As he tried to soothe his brooding friend he forgot his own worry, and later that night Genma had found sleep easy as a warm body curled around his.

That had been two weeks ago. Shikamaru had gone home that weekend and since then, Genma had only seen him at work and a few times for dinner. Their relationship was easy and still very comforting, but the tokujō understood that Shikamaru needed his space. 

Now, the special jounin climbed the stairs and turned down a dimly lit hall. Shikamaru’s office was the first door on the right, and when Genma entered, he smiled at the sound of quiet snoring.

Shikamaru was slumped over on his desk, head resting on his folded arms. Stacks of paper and files made up a crude pillow. Genma chuckled and stepped over the bright yellow line designed and jutsu’ed specifically to keep people out while the Nara slept. Obviously, the jutsu didn’t include Genma. He set the coffee he had brought his friend on the desk and ran a hand over the younger man’s hair. Shikamaru did not stir. No doubt he was used to Genma’s touch by now. 

Genma sighed and leaned in to lay a gentle kiss on furrowed brow. His lips grazed over the shell of Shikamaru’s ear as he whispered, “Sleep well, my friend.”

Genma straightened and moved quietly out of the office. He was headed to the mission’s room to meet up with Raidou. His friend had passed him in the hall earlier that day and had stopped in his tracks.

“Genma,” the scarred ninja had breathed. “What the hell happened to you? You look like death.”

“Oh, thank you,” Genma made a face. “It’s nice to see you too, man.”

Raidou smiled crookedly and clapped him on the shoulder. “No, I’m serious. You got a hangover or what? You seriously look like you’re about to die.”

Genma sighed then, pressing the heels of his palms into his temples. “I’m just… I’ve got a lot of things on my mind that’s all.”

Raidou hadn’t responded, and when Genma looked up at his friend the scarred ninja was regarding him with a peculiar look.

“What?” he asked.

Raidou cleared his throat and slid his hands into his pockets. “Well, I have a meeting later this afternoon, but I don’t have anything planned for afterward. If you—I mean, if you’re okay with maybe, um, do you want to…”

Genma had never been happier to have Raidou for a friend than he had been in that moment. He had teased him unrelentingly for several minutes, but had finally gotten his scarred friend to ask him to dinner. 

Raidou wasn’t in the mission room when Genma arrived, but he knew he would be there shortly so he leaned casually against the wall, watching the other ninja come and go, sign and turn in reports, and gossip. Genma swished the senbon from the one side of his mouth to the other and back again.

Finally, Raidou’s voice sounded from the doorway. “Hey, Gen! You been waiting long?”

Genma turned and made a face. “Gah, yeah, like three hours,” he smiled over the lie. “What the hell were you guys doing in there?”

Raidou laughed and threw an arm over Genma’s shoulders, “The safety and security of you and every other person in this village, my friend.”

“Oh,” Genma rolled his eyes, “You know I love it when you start to sound like a politician.”

They headed to a place the two of them used to frequent together. It was a small restaurant tucked back behind a grocer and a book store. It was run by a family of seven. The food was excellent, and the grandchildren of the owners loved it when Genma told them fabricated stories of his missions. They welcomed the two nin and showed them to a private booth in the back. As Genma sat he felt a sweet wave of nostalgia settle over him and he smiled warmly at his friend.

Raidou cocked an eyebrow at him. “You’re looking at me kind of creepy-like.”

Genma chuckled. “I don’t mean to be. I was just thinking of the time when you spilled your drink on that lady and she smacked you in the face with her purse.”

Raidou laughed at that. “Ah, that sucked so bad, especially since _you_ spilled it.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Genma grinned.

They ordered food and drinks, and talked about inconsequential things as they ate. By the time the plates had been cleared and Raidou was pouring him a second cup of sake, Genma finally was able to completely relax against the cushions.

“Thank you for this, Raidou,” he said softly. “I really appreciate it.”

Raidou shrugged. “You just looked like you needed it. And I’ve been trying to think how I could, you know… ” the larger man made a motion between the two of them.

Genma nodded. “I understand. It’s really cool of you.”

Raidou smiled again, easier this time, and drank from his cup. The air between them was finally like it used to be. That same feeling of nostalgia swept over Genma again, but this time it was even sweeter.

“How’s your woman?” Genma asked with a grin, “Raiko?”

Raidou grinned back. “She’s great. She’s really, really great.”

“Getting serious?”

Raidou looked away, his cheeks reddening. “Yeah, a little.”

Genma pushed his glass forward and nodded happily. “I’m glad you’re happy.” 

Raidou refilled his glass and Genma took a long swallow. His eyebrows raised slightly when his friend rested his arms on the table and leaned in conspiratorially.

“So,” Raidou said softly, his face serious, “I have a question.”

Genma stayed slouched and tried not to let anything show on his face. Raidou could be asking him several things, but Genma had a pretty good idea which it would be.

“Okay, shoot.”

Raidou cleared his throat. “Is there something going on between you and Shikamaru?”

Genma swallowed slowly, keeping his face blank. He knew someone was going to find out someday, he just hadn’t wanted it to be so soon. It wasn’t that it was particularly wrong, Shikamaru was of a consenting age after all, but it was still a little unethical, not to mention unprofessional.

“Interesting…” Genma took another sip. “Where did you get that idea?”

Raidou was looking at him with eyes that were soft and easy. There was no judgment, no anger or condemnation in his gaze. There was only a quiet curiosity and concern. 

Genma sighed heavily. Raidou wasn’t going to let this one go, it was obvious. Genma sat forward then, resting his elbows on the table. He rubbed at his face with his palms and groaned softly. If there was ever going to be a chance to get everything off his chest, now was the time. Raidou had been his friend for as long as he could remember. Not even the events of a few months ago had changed that, so it was safe to assume that this wouldn’t either.

“Okay,” Genma started. “I’m gonna start from the beginning, but you have to promise that you’ll just listen. Don’t freak out on me.”

Raidou nodded. “I promise.”

Genma then told his friend what had happened after his mission with Kakashi. He told him about the way the Copy Nin had taken care of him after thinking he had lost Raidou forever, and how that relationship had developed over the last few months. Raidou already knew about Shikamaru and how he had helped Genma find the root of the whole fiasco with the drugs, so Genma explained how his relationship with the young Nara started. He also explained what he knew of what was happening between Shikamaru and Neji, and all that entailed. 

Genma’s voice grew quiet as he recounted the events of that night with both Kakashi and Shikamaru, and even though he glazed over the more explicit parts, the special jounin still felt his face heating. He told Raidou about Kakashi leaving for the S-class mission, and then about Shikamaru staying with him for almost a month. 

Raidou listened quietly, his only reaction being his eyes widening as he learned about Shikamaru’s undisclosed sex life.

“I just,” Raidou murmured as Genma took a breath. “I just never thought that kid had a sexual bone in his body.”

Genma almost snorted sake up his nose. “Oh man,” he coughed a few times to clear his throat. “Oh hell, that ‘kid’ could write a _bible_ on sex, I’m telling you.”

Raidou held up his hands and grimaced around an amused smile. “Okay, I don’t need to hear it.”

Folding his arms on the table again, Genma mumbled into his sleeve. “I’m just all scrambled up now. Shikamaru is great but he’s all hung up on Neji and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“So, wait. You’re in love with Shikamaru?” Raidou asked, almost dropping his sake cup.

“No no no,” Genma sat up quickly. “Not like that. I care about him, yeah, but it’s not like a ‘I wanna marry you, let’s have babies’ kind of thing.”

“So you love him but you’re not _in love_ with him.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly it,” Genma nodded into his cup. “I would be pretty upset if Shikamaru decided he never wanted to see me again, but not completely devastated like I’d be if Kakashi decided to end things between us.”

Genma realized what he had said, but only after it had passed between his lips. He felt his face heating up, and his palms were suddenly damp. How could he have just blurted that out so carelessly? 

A moment of silence stretched between the two ninja and Genma felt himself wanting to squirm as he waited for Raidou to speak.

Finally, Raidou said softly, “I had a feeling.”

Genma’s heart did a little flip-flop. “What do you mean? Feeling? What feeling?”

“I mean I had a feeling there was something more to you and Kakashi.”

Genma stared into his empty sake cup and chewed the inside of his cheek. Of course there was something more. There had always been something more, even before that first night when Kakashi had comforted him. But it was mostly one-sided, of that he was sure. Kakashi liked him, liked what they had now, but it was impossible that the Copy Nin’s feelings went any deeper. 

“How did you know?” Genma asked quietly.

Raidou slowly turned his cup between his palms as he spoke. “Little things; I already knew you two were together, but then the way I saw you looking at him…” Raidou’s cheeks suddenly reddened and he looked away, embarrassed. 

“It reminded me of how you used to look at me.”

Genma didn’t know what to say to that, so he just looked up and smiled softly—gratefully—at his friend. At least it had been Raidou he had experienced a momentary lapse of sanity in front of and not someone like Aoba, or Kakashi himself. 

There was much more Genma wanted to talk about, so much he wanted to get off his chest, but he never got the chance. Suddenly, the two ninja heard Iruka’s voice.

“No, this is fine, thank you.”

Raidou’s eyes widened. Genma put a finger to his lips. They listened as Iruka and another person slid into the booth beside them. The privacy curtain was still drawn, so there was no way the ex-sensei had seen them, and they hadn’t been speaking when he had arrived.

“Yes,” Iruka continued, “I’ll have some ginger tea please.”

Iruka didn’t know they were there.

Raidou must have come to the same conclusion at that very moment because he looked at Genma and grinned. Genma mirrored the smile and suddenly, he felt like he was twenty again, sneaking around with Raidou and terrorizing the young genin and chuunin of Konoha.

“Thank you so much for accepting my invitation, Iruka-san.”

That voice wasn’t familiar, and very formal. Genma glanced at Raidou, but the scarred nin made a motion that said he had no idea who it was either. Slipping carefully underneath the table, Genma joined his friend in the booth that was connected to the one holding their friend.

“Oh, you don’t have to use ‘san’,” Iruka chuckled. “I’m younger than you.”

“Yes but,” the deep, quiet voice continued, “You’re one of the ninja of this village. You protect and serve the people of this country, to address you as something less would seem very ungrateful.”

Genma couldn’t see it, but he was positive he could _hear_ Iruka blushing.

“Ah, I don’t,” the Hokage assistant stammered, “I don’t really deserve all that. I’m just a paper pusher.”

Genma heard silverware and glasses being moved, and then that deep voice rumbled again.

“Please don’t put yourself down like that, Iruka-san. You’re amazing.”

A moment of intense silence passed before Iruka spoke in a breathless voice.

“Your hand is so warm…” 

Genma made a face at a grinning Raidou. “It’s like a fucking shojo manga,” he whispered.

Raidou nodded and smoothed out his fanatical smile. “Any idea who the other guy is?”

“Nope,” Genma said softly, “but if we go over there, I’ll get shit jobs for the next ten years.”

“Oh come on, Gen,” Raidou made a face. “Iruka-kun wouldn’t do that.”

“Obviously you don’t know Iruka very well,” Genma muttered.

Raidou sucked air in through his teeth, thinking. “Okay, Iruka’s facing away, so all we have to do to see this guy is glance all nonchalantly as we step out to pay.”

“If the privacy curtain is open,” Genma whined, “which it probably won’t be.”

Raidou shrugged. “We have to take that chance. If it’s closed, I’ll wait outside with you until they come out.”

Genma slapped a fist into his palm. “It’s a plan.”

The two nin stood and stepped through their own privacy curtain. Genma glanced at the booth as he made his way out toward the cashier, and low and behold, it was open partway. Sitting across from Iruka was a large man dressed in casual civilian clothing. His eyes were dark and kind, and the scars that decorated his jaw and continued down his neck reminded Genma instantly of where he had seen this man before. It was Kaito the bouncer.

Genma paid for his meal and the sake, and almost ran out the door to meet Raidou in the street.

“I can’t believe it!” Genma exclaimed. 

“I know,” Raidou smiled at him. “Iruka’s been stringing Kaito along for a really long time!”

“How do you know about Kaito?” Genma asked.

Raidou shrugged. “I’ve been going to Kiba’s poker games the last few months. Kaito’s come a couple times and whenever Iruka’s name comes up, he turns this amazing shade of red. Hence why Kiba likes bringing up Iruka every two and a half minutes.”

Genma chuckle, “Ah, poor guy.”

Raidou shook his head, staring wistfully off into the distance somewhere. “I’m so stoked to see them out together. Kaito’s a real good guy.”

“And badass looking,” Genma added.

Raidou chuckled and slid his hands into his pockets. Genma felt the cool breeze on his face and watched it dance through the tips of Raidou’s spiky hair. He was so happy to have his friend back, he almost wanted to cry. Tonight had been just what he had needed too. That was Raidou for you; intuitive enough to know exactly what his friends needed, and kind to a fault.

“Thank you for having dinner with me,” Genma scuffed his sandal on the gravel, a little surprised that he felt embarrassed all of a sudden. “I’ll see you at work?”

Raidou smiled and nodded his head. “You’re welcome. And yeah, I’ll see you.”

They parted ways, Genma waving over his shoulder as he moved down the street towards his apartment. 

Konoha was quiet. The streets were empty but bright under the moon as Genma made his way home. It had rained a little while he had been in the restaurant and he couldn’t resist tiptoing playfully through a few puddles. Genma’s breath puffed in front of him as he walked slowly through the cold, night air. When he arrived at his apartment complex, he reached into his pocket to grab a smoke, but realized that he had left his pack back in the drawer at the office. He almost went back, but then realized it didn’t matter, he didn’t really need one.

He climbed the stairs as he pulled out his keys, unlocked the door, and stepped inside.

He smelled blood. 

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Standing in the entryway, Genma’s brain and body went through a series of trained reactions. He closed the door naturally and made a lot of noise. If in fact there was someone in his apartment and they were hostile, he or she would have to hide and prepare to strike and Genma needed to keep up the pretense that he thought he was alone. 

Blood on an intruder could mean two things: one could be there was a foreign shinobi in the village that had been injured while carrying out a mission and now he or she was hiding out in Genma’s house. Another possibility was that the blood was from a Konoha nin, just back and injured from a mission. Both were unlikely scenarios. If there was a foreign ninja in the village, why would they hide out here? There were many other apartments and houses along this street that would have been significantly easier to get inside. Considering Genma’s traps were some of the best, his apartment would be nearly impossible to break into unless the shinobi was of an extremely high rank or genius level. As for the possibility of the intruder being a Konoha nin, Genma had walked past the Hokage tower to get home and there had been no signs that any teams had returned tonight. The place had been dead.

However, all that reasoning did not change the fact that there really was someone bleeding in Genma’s apartment at this very moment. Friendly ninja or not, Genma needed to be extremely cautious. 

He did not turn on the lights and he left his sandals on as he stepped onto the soft carpet. Every one of Genma’s senses was heightened as he moved silently from the entry to the living room area. Pulling a senbon from his vest, the special jounin flattened his back against the wall and inched down the hallway. The smell of blood was coming from either the bathroom or the bedroom. As he turned the corner, he ruled out the bathroom. The door stood open and the space was empty.

That left his bedroom. Genma pulled another two senbon from his vest and held the three slim pieces of metal between his dexterous fingers. His heart beat steady in his chest as he neared the bedroom door. His breathing was slow and light, his body tensed and ready to spring into action if he was attacked. The bedroom door was open a few inches and the smell of blood from inside was strong. Genma took a breath, and then moved. 

His body came around in one fluid motion. He kicked the door open with his foot, brought a hand holding a single senbon out in front of him, and held the other two in an easy grasp by his side. He was half covered by the doorframe as his sharp eyes quickly took in everything. The moon gave enough light through the window to see that his futon still sat neatly on the floor, and the pile of dirty clothes he had put off washing had not moved. The window was even closed and the trap looked to still be in place.

Straightening, Genma moved into the bedroom cautiously, senbon up and ready. The smell of blood was overwhelming now, and getting stronger.

Genma froze. Sitting in the corner beneath the window, cloaked by heavy shadows, was a lanky Konoha ninja, the left side of his silver-white hair matted with dried blood. He sat with one leg straight out and the other bent, his arm resting on his knee. One tired grey eye rolled up and regarded Genma with a weariness that was so deep Genma could almost feel it. The nin’s left eye, which was usually hidden by his hitai-ate, was bare but covered by a scarred eyelid.

Genma swallowed a heavy lump in his throat. “Kakashi?”

Kakashi didn’t believe it for a moment. From the floor he looked up into the face of the person he wanted to see more than anyone else in the entire world. He needed to be cautious. In the hour or so he had spent sitting here waiting, Genma had entered this room six times. Was this one real? Or was he another hallucination brought on by Kakashi’s own extreme fatigue and chakra depletion?

When Kakashi didn’t respond, the Genma that stood in the doorway called him out. 

“ANBU!” Genma barked. Authority rang in his voice, unmistakable. “Call sign and serial number!”

“Hound,” Kakashi responded to the protocols without hesitation, “zero, zero, nine, seven, two, zero.”

The other Genma that had come through that door had not said anything to him. They had been mere shadows. Was it okay to believe this one was the real one? This Genma moved closer to him, another thing the apparitions from before had not done.

“Kakashi, what are you doing here? Did you report in? Where’s the rest of your squad?”

He was so beautiful. His hair, his skin, even the way he moved. Kakashi wanted nothing more than to just touch him. Would he be able to touch him? Or would his hand sink right though? Was he really there?

Hesitating, Genma spoke again. “Is any of that blood yours?”

Kakashi shrugged, “Probably.”

Genma was about to ask about the report again, but then the Copy Nin held out his hand. His pale fingers trembled slightly; his one visible eye looked up at Genma with such sadness and want that the special jounin couldn’t be cautious anymore. Genma moved close and knelt between Kakashi’s legs. He took the younger man’s hand in his and slid his fingers in between Kakashi’s.

The Copy Nin’s breath caught. His hand squeezed Genma’s.

“Are you real?” Kakashi asked.

Genma felt his heart skip a few beats. The worry and the stress from the last several weeks fell from his shoulders like a heavy mantle. He felt he could breathe again. Kakashi was home, here in his apartment. Suddenly his lungs were too big for his chest.

“Yes,” Genma whispered, “I’m real.”

Kakashi breathed out, his heart started to beat faster, his skin felt warmer. This Genma was real. Genma was there for him, holding his hand. The relief was so intense that Kakashi’s eyes filled with tears and he was so tired that he wasn’t even ashamed of it. He felt the hot wetness sliding down his cheeks as he searched for words to explain himself.

“I lost five…” Kakashi murmured. “Crow and Owl made it back with me, but we lost the rest.”

Genma’s thumb caressed his skin. It felt so good Kakashi almost gave up on what he was talking about. He didn’t want to talk about it anyway. Couldn’t he just sit and let Genma touch him?

“Did they die well?” Genma asked. “Did you accomplish your mission?”

Kakashi felt another tear slide out from the corner of his eye and collect at the top of his mask. He nodded, wishing he could pull himself together. He had never taken the loss of a comrade very well. Even after more than twenty years, it still hurt like it was the first time.

“I told Boar’s brother, she asked me to.” God, his chest was so tight. “He’s just a little kid, but he took the news like a man. He just thanked me and went back into the house.” Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut, as if that would stop the tears that flowed so freely. “He was so cool…”

“That will mean a lot to him in the future,” Genma said softly. “He’ll always look back and remember Copy Ninja Kakashi himself came to tell him about his big sister.”

Kakashi’s heart hurt. “Won’t he hate me for it though? Won’t he hate me for not being able to bring her back safe?”

Shaking his head, Genma squeezed Kakashi’s hand. “No, he won’t.” 

Genma wanted to touch him so badly. He wanted to hold Kakashi in his arms and kiss the Copy Nin until his pain lessened. He remembered how good it had felt when Kakashi had comforted him after what had happened with Raidou. Would that be something that Kakashi wanted? Would he respond? Or was he the type that needed to be alone after something like this?

No, Genma decided. If Kakashi wanted to be alone he would not have come here.

With that in mind, Genma lifted his free hand to move the matted hair from Kakashi’s brow. He searched the area gently with his fingertips and found a deep gash. The wound had been closed quickly with a crude glue stich, but that would only hold for a short while. Kakashi needed medical attention immediately.

“Don’t move,” Genma said firmly and slowly stood. Kakashi looked like he wanted to protest, but he said nothing as Genma pulled off his sandals and dumped his flack vest by the bed. The special jounin grabbed his first aid kit from the bathroom and ran a cloth under hot water. When he returned to the bedroom, he found that Kakashi had also removed his sandals, flack vest, and leg wraps. 

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi said softly, “I’m getting everything dirty.”

“No, no. It’s okay,” Genma moved once again between Kakashi’s legs and sat on the floor. The Copy Nin didn’t move. He sat slumped with his hands folded in his lap, his head hanging low. 

Genma knew getting Kakashi to go to the hospital now would be impossible, so he made do. He cleaned the wound and held the skin together with one hand as he carefully removed the glue stich. When it started to bleed, he handed Kakashi a compress. “Hold this here.” From the kit, the special jounin took needle and thread and field-stitched the gash as best he could. He cleaned the area and then used the cloth to wipe the blood from Kakashi’s hair and forehead.

The Copy Nin sat through all of this with his eyes closed, unmoving. The feel of Genma’s hands and the gentle way he took care of his wound felt so good, so comforting. The warm cloth through his hair and on his skin was so welcoming it brought fresh tears to Kakashi’s already burning eyes. 

Then the cloth disappeared and he felt Genma’s hands on his cheeks. The special jounin’s fingers skimmed the top of his mask. Kakashi’s heart almost stopped when those fingers started to pull the fabric down. The Copy Nin lifted his own hands and stopped them. When he opened his eyes he found Genma looking at him, studying him.

Kakashi’s breath was heavy as he whispered, “Why? Why now?”

Genma tilted his head, letting his gaze travel over Kakashi’s covered face. “I made a promise.”

Kakashi’s heart beat so frantically he felt it would burst. Every muscle, every fiber in his body was frozen in fear even though Genma’s eyes were soft and so warm, staring at him so closely. He had wanted Genma to ask for this for so long, but now that Genma wanted it Kakashi didn’t feel like he was ready. Lowering his mask now would mean baring so much more than just his face. Genma would be able see everything. He would be able to see that Kakashi was in love with him. He would be able to see that Kakashi wanted him so much it hurt. 

Worst of all, Genma would be able to see that Kakashi couldn’t live without him, and the Copy Nin was so frightened by that he almost couldn’t breathe.

“Kakashi… Kakashi, it’s okay.”

Looking into Kakashi’s one visible eye, Genma could see that he was afraid. Of what, Genma didn’t know, after all Kakashi had been so insistent in trying to get Genma to ask him to lower the mask. Why was he afraid now? 

“Hey,” Genma murmured. “You saw me at my worst and you brought me back. Let me do this for you.”

Kakashi let out the smallest of sobs, a horribly anguished sound that pulled at Genma’s heart. “This is different.”

Genma moved then, pressing himself up against the younger man as close as he possibly could. He slid his knees underneath Kakashi’s thighs and placed his hands on the wall on either side of the Copy Nin’s head. There was no space between their bodies now and only a hair’s breadth between Genma’s lips and bloody fabric. 

“Kakashi, let me see your face.”

Silence hung thick around them. Kakashi’s frame had gone so tense it was almost as if he had turned to stone. However, Genma did not back down. He wasn’t going anywhere; he wasn’t giving up.

Finally, Kakashi moved. He lifted his hand and took one of Genma’s hands. He guided the special jounin’s movements, bringing his fingers to clutch at dirty fabric and slowly pull down, down over smooth skin. As inch by inch of the Copy Nin’s face was revealed, Genma’s breath seemed to leave him. 

Kakashi had high cheekbones, a pointed nose, a pair of thin lips, and a strong jaw over a long and supple throat. He was very handsome, almost beautiful with his perfect features and pale, pale skin. 

Genma took his fingers and traced those perfect lips, unable to speak for fear of shattering this moment. 

“Genma…” 

_Those lips_. Genma had felt those lips on his skin in the dark. He had kissed those lips with his eyes covered, imagining—fantasizing what they might look like. Genma knew they were soft, he knew they were sweet, and he knew that they felt amazing around him, but nothing, _nothing_ compared to watching those amazing lips move around his name.

Genma couldn’t stop himself. He leaned in, pressing his mouth to Kakashi’s. He knew if he didn’t he would surely die. He slid his hand into sliver hair and he groaned softly as Kakashi responded. The Copy Nin whimpered and clutched at Genma’s shoulders. The kiss deepened as Genma tilted his head and slid his tongue inside Kakashi’s mouth. His hands moved to lithe hips and Kakashi followed his lead, letting himself be pulled into Genma’s lap as the special jounin sat back onto the floor. Genma felt Kakashi’s arms come around his neck and he groaned appreciatively as the new position caused a delicious friction against both of their erections.

Kakashi was almost frantic. He rolled his hips, desperate for more contact, more skin. He wanted to feel Genma’s cock against his. He wanted Genma’s lips on his cock. He wanted Genma’s cock inside him. He wanted to be pushed onto the floor and fucked from behind until his knees bled. He moaned as he felt Genma’s mouth on his jaw, his throat. The special jounin’s tongue was scalding and his teeth were sharp as he licked and sucked and nibbled flesh that only a handful of people alive had ever seen. Kakashi lifted his arms as Genma pulled his uniform top over his head. However he practically ripped Genma’s from his body in his haste to bare the special jounin’s skin.

Bare flesh to bare flesh, the two elite nin rocked against each other. Kakashi arched in Genma’s hold as the special jounin’s hands slid down his chest. Those tanned fingers pulled at Kakashi’s pants, slipped inside, and wrapped around his straining, aching length. Kakashi cried out as Genma stoked him, he threw his head back as Genma feasted on his neck. It was so good, _it was so good,_ but not quite good enough, yet. Kakashi knew that he needed a little pain. It wouldn’t be enough tonight if it there wasn’t any pain.

The Copy Nin lowered his head and curled around the special jounin. It wasn’t hard as Genma was curling into him as well. Kakashi threaded his fingers into dark blond hair and panted desperately into Genma’s ear.

“Fuck me,” his voice was hoarse. “Please, please fuck me. Right now.”

Genma pulled away, breathing hard. He nodded and pushed at Kakashi’s waist. 

“Take your pants off. Get on the bed.”

After Kakashi moved from his lap, Genma stood as well and pulled off his leg wraps. He took his time undressing himself, watching Kakashi slide his pants over his hips and drop them on the floor. The Copy Nin’s expression was so frantic, so desperate as he lowered himself to the futon. The look in his eyes, the sweat glistening on his neck and chest, and the way his mouth, _his beautiful mouth_ , hung open as he panted heavily, was enough to make someone crazy.

Genma liked this side of Kakashi, this vulnerable, needy side. He had seen it before, but only glimpses of it. Not like this. Not like now. The Kakashi before him now was raw, reckless, and so in need of a good fucking he was almost sobbing.

This was Kakashi’s breakdown. Genma’s own had been the need for companionship, of true and honest comfort, just like Shikamaru. However, the Copy Nin’s was the need to be controlled, to let go and not be the one with all the answers, all the elite techniques, and all the power. 

Genma knew exactly what Kakashi needed, so when the special jounin finished shedding his clothes, he bent and retrieved his leg wraps from the floor. He moved towards the futon and spoke in a quiet but commanding voice.

“On your stomach.”

Kakashi whimpered, but complied quickly. Like so many other instances during the times they had been together, Kakashi exhibited signs that he could read Genma’s mind. He rolled to his stomach and put his hands behind his back in the exact position Genma was going to put them. Again, like so many times before, Genma felt connected to Kakashi like he had never felt connected to anyone in his life.

It was so much more intense this time however, because at that moment the two of them were not even touching. 

Genma crawled onto the futon and straddled Kakashi’s legs. He bound the Copy Nin’s wrists, being very careful not to wrap them too tightly. He then wrapped both of Kakashi’s arms directly above the elbows and bound them together, forcing Kakashi’s arms in a straight position behind his back. Then he leaned over the Copy Nin’s body and murmured softly against a sweaty temple.

“Too tight?”

Kakashi gasped beneath him. “It’s fine.”

“Good. Get on your knees.”

Kakashi obeyed and Genma backed off to give him room. When the silver-haired nin started to straighten however, Genma moved forward. He knew that Kakashi had pulled himself up just so that Genma would shove his chest back down on the mattress. He knew Kakashi wanted him to be a little rough. He just knew.

Kakashi moaned, his voice muffled in the sheets. It felt so good being manipulated like this. Genma’s forcefulness turned him on, made him crave more of that firm hand. He arched his back to give the special jounin a nice view of his ass. He wished that Genma would hit him a few times, just once or twice, even though he was sure that Genma was not into that kind of thing.

He was wrong.

It was like Genma was reading his mind. Just as Kakashi thought about how much he wished the special jounin would be rougher with him, a hand came down on his ass. The slap was like fire, burning his flesh. Genma hit much harder than Shikamaru. He hit harder than Ibiki—surprisingly. A second blow flashed across his ass and Kakashi started to sob again, not because of the pain, but because he loved Genma. He loved Genma for giving him what he needed, for respecting him and caring about him enough to really hurt him. No one had ever gone all out before. No one had ever understood how much Kakashi wanted this.

Another slap—a backhand across his thigh—and another flash of fiery pain roared through him. Another. A third. A fourth. Kakashi wailed into the sheets, the pain flowing through him freely, blotting out his hurt and his unhappiness. The stress and the despair from the mission that had clouded his every sense vanished. All that was left was the pain, the sweet, sweet pain that Genma gave him. 

Kakashi felt the special jounin shift behind him and then that voice, Genma’s sexy, commanding, erotic voice growled breathlessly behind him.

“Spread your legs wider.”

Kakashi happily obeyed and felt the slick tip Genma’s cock against him. When the special jounin pushed inside there was more pain, but like the bound wrists and the blows, it was sweet. It was liberating.

Genma let out a shaking breath. He was fatigued. Sweat ran down his back between his shoulder blades and his hands hurt from striking Kakashi’s flesh, but oh, oh it was good. He rocked his hips forward, burying his cock deep into Kakashi’s body. The Copy Nin was hot and tight around him, his cries were sweet, his body was riddled with beautiful tension. Genma pulled out and pushed back in hard, and the cries got sweeter. 

Gripping pale hips, Genma started a slow, steady pound. Kakashi keened beneath him. The things slipping from the silver-haired nin’s mouth became more incredible, more unbelievable. Even if it was meaningless babble from an exhausted shinobi’s breakdown, it was still staggering to hear Kakashi crying his name, sobbing _“Yes! Yes!”_ into the futon. Hearing Kakashi moaning that he loved what Genma was doing over and over fueled a primal instinct inside the special jounin and he bore down, rocking his hips violently into Kakashi’s.

Genma had never fucked like this before. He had never fucked this _hard_ before. If Kakashi had wanted this all the time, Genma probably wouldn’t be able to do it. But times like this, when Kakashi needed him like this, Genma was glad to give. He _wanted_ to do this for Kakashi. 

With quick, sure movements, Genma pulled out and rolled Kakashi to his side. Straddling one long, pale leg, Genma hooked the other around his waist and slipped back in. This way he could watch Kakashi’s beautiful face. He could see his tears. He could look into his sexy, steel-grey eye. Kakashi moaned and lifted his gaze to meet Genma’s. It was funny, the lower half of his face was no longer covered by a mask, but Genma still could not see it from behind that pale shoulder. 

Genma slowed his movements and whispered, “Let me see you…”

In response, Kakashi closed his eye and turned his face back into the sheets. Genma chuckled and pulled out. He rolled Kakashi once again, placing him on his back. The strain on his arms would be great, but the Copy Nin had asked for it. Genma slid his knees underneath Kakashi’s thighs and guided himself back into that thinly muscled body. He ran his hands up Kakashi’s chest and curled down to lick a long trail up the younger man’s throat.

Kakashi arched. His arms burned, his cock throbbed. What should he do now? Genma could see everything. He was there, _right there._ Genma’s lips were on his neck and his jaw, and Kakashi could feel his tortured length sliding roughly against the special jounin’s hard-packed stomach. He was going to come soon. Kakashi knew he was about to break apart, his body, his mind, and his soul. He knew he was about to bare everything of himself like he never had before in his life. 

But strangely—amazingly, Kakashi didn’t care. At that moment, the Copy Ninja realized that all he wanted was all of Genma. 

Genma started to move again in that same slow, steady rhythm. He rested his weight on one hand at Kakashi’s side and brought the other up to the other man’s face.

“Kakashi,” he breathed. “Kakashi, look at me.”

Kakashi could not resist. Even if his life had depended on it he wouldn’t have been able to make himself look away. He opened his one eye and met Genma’s intense but gentle gaze. Kakashi’s heart pounded in his throat. This was all he had wanted for a long time. This. Genma looking into his eyes as he came. He felt the familiar tightening in his groin. He felt the pressure coiling, building, aching to be released.

“Harder,” he whispered. “Ah… please, harder.”

He kept his gaze locked with Genma’s as the special jounin shifted and rocked into him violently. Kakashi’s hands bunched in the sheets beneath him as he started to feel light headed. When Genma’s hand wrapped around his length, his release came. His orgasm flooded through him, seizing all his muscles and making him cry out in ecstasy. Pleasure shot through him so hot and so powerful that the edges of his vision went black. 

He had just enough of his mind left to feel Genma’s lips on his before he blacked out.

* * *

Shikamaru shut the door to the storage area and let out a long, tired sigh. He needed more hands. Even if that meant roping in chuunin that would eventually blow the place up, he was not going to do the whole thing by himself. Fuck that.

The strategist trudged wearily down the hallway, nodding to the last of the office workers on their way out. It was late, probably past midnight. Shikamaru groaned as he thought about how he could have been home right now if he hadn’t fallen asleep after lunch. He had lost what, five hours? At least Genma had brought him some real coffee. 

Smiling softly, Shikamaru opened the door to his office. Genma would probably never know how much he had done for the young Nara, and in the back of his mind Shikamaru hoped he never would find out. It was pathetic really. All it had taken was a haircut and a little affection and Shikamaru was questioning his feelings for a senpai almost twice his age. Was he really that easy? 

Shikamaru stopped just inside his office. He closed the door and leaned against the heavy wood. He closed his eyes and let out another long breath. Get your stuff, go home. Take a bath. Get it together.

Moving past the shelf and stepping around the desk, Shikamaru was about to reach for his bag but stopped cold.

Someone was at his window.

They had not been there long. Shikamaru hadn’t sensed them when he had entered the office. They were also exceptionally skilled. The traps on the railing and sill were of the highest quality, as were all the traps around the Hokage tower. To have disarmed them so easily the intruder must have been at least jounin level, if not higher. 

Pulling a kunai from his pouch, Shikamaru readied himself. His brain slowed down to a single line of thought; one primary focus. When he heard the soft click of the window latch and the quiet scrape of the wood over the sill, he twisted and sent the kunai flying. 

The ninja at the window deflected the kunai easily, but couldn’t stop the shadows Shikamaru had sent. Two long tendrils of darkness wrapped around slender ankles and a third slid around the hand on the window frame. 

The figure turned a pair of annoyed, milky grey eyes on Shikamaru, “What the hell?” he growled. 

Shikamaru’s legs felt they were going to give out. It was all too unbelievable. There, crouching on the window sill was none other than Hyūga Neji. Haggard, deathly pale, and covered in dirt and blood, but still calm, regal, beautiful Neji.

“I…” Shikamaru stammered, unable to form the words he was thinking.

Neji brushed off the shadows like they were dust or debris and dropped to the floor. His ANBU mask was missing, as was his leg pouch and most of his left glove.

“Ah,” he said softly, “I did not think you would be here.”

Shikamaru blinked. “Uh, what? Then why are you here?”

Neji sighed and pulled his hand from his ruined glove. “I know you keep extra uniforms in your office. I was going to borrow one and give it back to you later.”

Confused, Shikamaru folded his arms across his chest. He didn’t mean it as a hostile gesture, he just didn’t know what else to do with his hands.

“So,” he murmured, “is this something you do often?”

“What?” Neji asked absently as he moved across the room and started going through drawers like he owned the place.

Shikamaru’s jaw tightened as his anger started to rise. “Sneak into my office and take my stuff.”

“No,” Neji replied, “just tonight. I cannot return home like this.” The jounin pulled a pair of uniform pants and long-sleeved shirt from one of Shikamaru’s cupboards. “I went to your home first, but obviously you were not there.” His voice dropped and his next words were barely audible. “You haven’t been there at all recently from what I understand.”

Frustrated, Shikamaru ran a hand over his face and growled, “I don’t get it. Why can’t you go home like that? It’s not like anyone will see you anyway.”

Neji turned away from the cupboards and regarded Shikamaru as if he were an obstinate child. “My uncle will know the moment I return to the compound. He will summon me, and I have lost my mask. I cannot show myself in such a dishonorable state.”

Shikamaru ground his teeth. “Have you at least reported in?”

Neji rolled his eyes and pulled off his pack. “Have you not been listening to me, Shikamaru? I will not show myself to anyone like this.”

Shikamaru’s heart skipped a few beats. What did that mean? He already was having trouble juggling being angry and watching Neji basically strip naked in the middle of his office. Aside from the obvious distraction, Neji had blood on his arms and his neck. Shikamaru was sure it was not the Hyūga’s own, but it still startled him. The Nara swallowed hard trying to get himself to concentrate on the conversation.

“But you’re here, with me… I see you.”

Neji slipped his arms into the uniform top and pulled his braid free. He did not look at Shikamaru as he took his shin and arms guards and folded them into his white breastplate. He secured the bundle by tying the strap tightly with a few hard jerks. Was he angry? 

Standing before Shikamaru now in the jounin uniform, Neji’s face was still an impassive and unreadable blank. He stuffed the remains of his ANBU black and whites into his pack and slipped the pack back on.

“What does this mean?” Shikamaru asked, his heart starting to beat frantically in his chest. “What am I to you?” The Nara took another step forward, trying desperately to contain his anger, desire, and frustration all behind clenched teeth. 

Neji’s stance turned slightly defensive. “I do not understand why we are having this conversation _now_. It does not matter.”

“Fuck you it doesn’t!” Shikamaru barked and immediately he regretted it. 

“Control yourself, Shikamaru.” 

The comment was so condescending that it snapped the last bit of restraint Shikamaru had.

“God damnit, Neji! Why did you come here? What the hell do you think I am? Why is it you can’t let anyone else see you like this, but it’s all right to come to me?” 

Finally, Neji’s eyes lifted to meet his and Shikamaru was so shocked at the coldness he saw there that he almost backed away. 

Neji’s voice was dry and cruel as he spoke. “Because, Shikamaru… you do not matter. I do not care what you think.” 

There was nothing for a moment, no shock, no pain, just a silent void in space and time as those horrible words washed over Shikamaru. It took the Nara several moments to accept what Neji had just said, and when he did, he was surprised to feel nothing but numbness all the way through to his core.

“I don’t matter.” Shikamaru nodded as he whispered in a voice like dry, brittle bones. 

Neji closed his eyes and turned away, heading for the exit. Shikamaru watched his back.

Suspecting that Neji cared nothing for him was one thing, but hearing him say it—knowing it for sure was entirely different. A cold, hard grip was slowly clenching around his heart, squeezing the life out of him. He brought his hand to his chest, swallowing past an agonizing lump growing in his throat.

“I fucking hate you.” 

Neji stopped, putting a hand on the book case as if to steady himself. 

Shikamaru clenched his fists at his sides. “Don’t come looking for me, Hyūga. You wanna fuck, find someone else. I don’t ever want to see your face again unless it’s about work.”

Neji stood frozen for a moment, but then nodded and disappeared out the door. 

Standing alone in his office, the smell of Neji still lingering in the air, Shikamaru felt himself starting to fall apart. His stomach knotted. His lungs seemed to collapse in on themselves. His breath tried to leave him. His legs gave out and he dropped to the floor, his knees hitting the wood surface hard and his hands barely catching him.

Shikamaru had thought nothing could be more painful than his relationship with Neji. Nothing could possibly hurt more than being with the person you love and having none of that love returned. Oh, but he had been wrong. Utterly wrong. The despair he felt now was so much worse than anything he had ever felt before. He wanted to die. He wanted to scream, to cry, to tear apart everything in his office.

Shikamaru squeezed his eyes shut against the pain that welled up and slammed his fist down on the floor.

What was the point? Where would screaming get him? How was crying about it going to solve anything? The Nara took several long, deep breaths to calm himself. He fought back his tears. He held in his screams and his urges to destroy things, and when he felt himself getting under control again he slowly stood. He decided to head back to storage. Mindless work would distract him, sorting through dangerous equipment would help him zone out. He left his office unlocked and moved down the hall. There was no way he was going home tonight.

His head hurt.

* * *

Genma lay on his side, a coffee mug sitting in one hand and his jaw resting in the other. He watched lashes dance over a pale cheek and ran his gaze over that pair of perfect, thin lips for the hundredth time that morning. God damn, Kakashi was handsome. Genma had suspected he would be good-looking but he really had not been prepared for the real thing. The whole package: the face, combined with the unique hair, hot body, and sexy attitude could be enough to send Genma into a coma if he wasn’t careful.

Taking a sip of the coffee, Genma reeled himself in. For a few seconds, just a few, when he had first woken up and had opened his eyes to that perfect face, the special jounin had almost wished Kakashi was a little ugly. How was he supposed to keep his feelings at bay now? Now that Genma knew that—on top of being kind, selfless, fun, hilarious, and one of the strongest nin _in the world_ —Kakashi was also _fucking gorgeous_ , how the hell was he supposed to _not_ fall completely in love with him? How could he possibly continue being just a fuck buddy when his feelings were so strong? What the hell was he going to do?

Kakashi’s breathing changed then and the jounin stirred. Genma watched as Kakashi’s brow creased and his eyes fluttered open. He seemed extremely interested in Genma’s shirt for several long seconds before his eyes closed once again and his cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink.

“I’m not sure yet if waking up to you staring at me is sweet, or creepy.”

Genma chuckled. “It’s totally creepy. But I promise won’t do it forever.”

“Why am I still naked and you’re dressed?” Kakashi asked.

“Because after I cleaned you up, I decided I liked you better with your clothes off.” Genma snickered into the coffee cup.

Kakashi made a pathetic sound. “But I feel so vulnerable with my clothes off.”

Genma grinned, “Liar.”

Kakashi chuckled as well and as his grey eye opened. He turned to Genma, his mouth turned up in a small smile.

_Oh my God…_ Genma almost dropped the coffee mug that was halfway to his lips. _Oh fucking hell, that smile is going to kill me._

Hiding behind the mug, Genma took a long swallow as Kakashi rolled to his side. The Copy Nin stared up at him from the pillow, his gaze warm.

“Thank you,” he said softly. “I came into your apartment uninvited and got blood everywhere and broke your traps. I’m really sorry, I just wanted to—”

“No,” Genma interrupted. “You don’t have to thank me and you don’t have to apologize. I uh, I owed you one.”

Kakashi looked at him for a long time. His eye ran over Genma’s face and hair, taking everything in slowly, carefully. When he finally pulled himself up on his elbow, mirroring Genma’s position, the special jounin couldn’t hold back any more. He leaned forward and touched his mouth to Kakashi’s. The kiss was slow and chaste, just a press of lips against lips. It was sweet and soft, just enough to get both men wanting more, but not so overwhelming that they couldn’t part easily.

Kakashi smiled again and took the mug from Genma’s hand. “So, what do you think?” he asked, his gaze dropping.

“About what?” Genma asked, pretending not to know what Kakashi was talking about.

The Copy Nin’s cheeks blushed pink again and Genma was smitten.

“About my face,” he said quietly, seriously, trying to hide behind taking a swallow of the warm coffee.

Genma used every ounce of his willpower to appear unfazed. Watching Kakashi’s lips around the rim of the coffee cup was unimaginably sensual. The special jounin slowly cocked his head to the side, resting his ear on his shoulder as if he was thinking hard on the question. When Kakashi looked up again, Genma answered as seriously as he could.

“Well, at least now I know why you wear the mask.”

Kakashi’s brow furrowed. “Huh? Why?”

Genma let the grin slip free as he answered. “Well, if I was as ugly as you, I’d wear a mask too.”

Kakashi’s jaw dropped. “You’re so mean!”

Genma laughed as Kakashi set the empty coffee mug aside and pushed him onto his back. The Copy Nin then slipped out from underneath the covers and straddled Genma’s thighs. His cock was full and heavy, but Genma didn’t get the chance to touch or even look at it for long. Kakashi took his wrists and gently moved them up and over his head. He ground down on Genma’s hips and the special jounin felt his own arousal pressing back through the layers of his boxers and uniform pants. He let out a soft breath that Kakashi caught in his mouth as he leaned in for a kiss. Their tongues slid slowly against each other and Kakashi groaned softly.

“Shit,” he whispered, “after all the fucking we did last night, how can I still want you so much?”

Genma lifted his head to nudge underneath Kakashi’s chin. He kissed that lovely neck and ran his tongue up that strong jaw. He was never going to get enough of Kakashi’s face. He knew it would still be a wonder to him years from now.

“Because I blow your mind,” Genma breathed.

“Hmm, possible,” Kakashi hummed as he pushed Genma’s shirt up his chest and slipped it over the special jounin’s head. Genma pulled it off completely and tossed it to the floor when Kakashi left the uniform alone to kiss down Genma’s stomach. Knowing where the Copy Nin was headed, Genma’s hands started to tremble. His breath almost caught in his throat when Kakashi started to undo his pants, and he propped himself up on his elbows to watch when Kakashi pulled out his erection and licked him from base to tip.

Genma took a moment to wonder how many men had ever been privileged enough to watch Kakashi suck their cock. If they were still alive, maybe he could find out who they were and kill them. He really didn’t want to share this with anyone. He watched Kakashi’s lips move over him, his tongue slide up taught flesh to catch a bead of precum running from his slit. Genma struggled to breathe, he felt like his nerves were on fire. It was unbelievable, Kakashi had barely started and already Genma was moaning and grunting like a fucking virgin still in academy. The asshole didn’t even use his hands!

Shifting his weight, Genma lifted one hand and slid his fingers into Kakashi’s hair. He pulled on the Copy Nin’s bangs, forcibly pushing the younger man’s mouth over him. Kakashi seemed to like it, and took Genma as deep as his throat would let him. Pleasure clouded his senses and Genma felt everything in his body tightening at the same time. Cursing and praising Kakashi in the same breath, Genma pulled the silver hair from a pale brow so he could watch Kakashi’s face as he came.

Kakashi’s eyes were already on him. Their gazes met and the look in the Copy Nin’s grey eye was enough to send Genma over the edge. With a soft cry, the special jounin’s body seized, white hot pleasure exploded through his body as his cock pulsed in Kakashi’s mouth. 

“Ah, fuck,” Genma groaned as Kakashi sucked him. “Fuck... _fuck_ …”

Wanting to continue watching Kakashi, but unable to maintain support on his elbows, Genma flopped back down on the bed. His breath was hard and there was a fine sheen of sweat across his brow, but he felt so good he didn’t care about anything else.

Kakashi released Genma’s length and made his way back up the special jounin’s torso. He left sloppy kisses on Genma’s neck as the Copy Nin jerked himself off. As he got his breath under control, Genma slid his hands over Kakashi’s thighs and whispered softly, “You want me to do it?”

“No, I’m good,” Kakashi breathed. He took Genma’s jaw in his hand, tilting the special jounin’s head to give him more access to the older man’s throat.

“You sure?” Genma grinned. “Lay on your back, I’ll finger you.”

“No, I wanna come on your stomach.”

Genma turned his head so he could lick the shell of Kakashi’s ear.

“You can come on my face if you want,” he whispered.

Kakashi shuddered and hurriedly straightened. He moved his knees up to straddle Genma’s chest and pumped himself hard and fast. Genma watched his face. Kakashi’s skin was flushed, his lips swollen from sucking his cock. His mouth fell open and he groaned once before warm wetness splashed across Genma’s chin and cheek. 

“Ah… Genma,” Kakashi panted. “Shit, you’re so hot…”

Genma closed his eyes and savored the sounds of Kakashi coming apart over him. He smiled softly as the silver-haired nin shifted and slowly lapped up the mess on his jaw. Genma let his hands wander, running over the younger man’s sides, down his strong thighs, and over the muscled curves of his ass. He had liked waking up next to Kakashi. Maybe if he played his cards right, maybe if he could keep himself interesting, keep his sex interesting, Kakashi would stick around. The Copy Nin didn’t have to be in love with him. He just had to like him. 

“Hey,” Kakashi murmured as he settled down next to Genma, “what time is it?”

“Mm,” Genma stifled a yawn, “Quarter after five maybe? Don’t know. The sun’s not up yet.”

“Oh, good.” Kakashi rolled to his side, pressing his back up against Genma. “I’ll just sleep for another couple of hours then.”

Genma chuckled. “You need to report in.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“Don’t wanna.”

“We can go back to your place afterwards and I’ll make you breakfast.”

Kakashi made a noise. “Why can’t we just have breakfast here?”

“I’m out of everything.”

Kakashi was silent for a few moments, so Genma continued.

“I’ll take a shower with you…”

Kakashi glanced over his shoulder. “Bath.”

Genma chuckled again. “Deal. Come with me and report in, and we’ll go back to your place, have breakfast, and then soak in the tub.”

“Can we have sex in the tub?”

“Sure.”

Kakashi was off the bed in the next instant. He opened Genma’s top drawer and pulled out a pair of uniform pants. As he slipped them on, he grinned at Genma.

“Shit, Gen, you are lazy. Come on, let’s go.”

* * *

“Hey! Kakashi-sensei!” Kiba’s voice was loud as it echoed through the mission room. “When did you get back?”

“Last night,” Kakashi said absently. He nodded to the young chuunin sitting at the desk. “I need a new report sheet.”

The chuunin handed him one without the usual fuss. You didn’t ask Hatake Kakashi why he needed a new report sheet, you just got him one.

“Thank you,” the silver-haired nin said softly. He folded the report sheet and slipped it into his pocket. He would need it later for when Iruka called him and Neji back in to go over the details. All that was needed now was an official sign in. The mission had been S-class and the details highly classified, but Kakashi still had to get it in the books that he was back home.

The Copy Nin quickly signed his name and straightened. He glanced at Genma who was talking to another jounin by the window. The dirty-blond was smiling softly and leaning against the sill, his hands lazily in his pockets. When the special jounin’s eyes slid over to him, Kakashi felt his face heating underneath his mask. 

_You can come on my face if you want…_

Kakashi’s cock twitched. How he still had energy to want to fuck _again_ was beyond him. He felt sixteen again. Not that he had been doing much fucking when he was sixteen, his first time actually hadn’t been until he was nineteen or twenty. But Genma made him feel young, made him feel alive and… happy. Kakashi felt like he could take on anything as long as he had Genma.

“…san… Kakashi! KAKASHI-SENSEI!”

Kakashi blinked and turned to look up into Kiba’s surprised and slightly agitated face. The young jounin was staring at him like he had just spouted another head.

“Are you all right, Kakashi-sensei? Are you hurt?”

Kakashi grinned, making his eye crinkle. “My ass is a little sore, but I assure you it was worth it.”

Kiba held up his hands. “No, I didn’t mean that, I meant…” he made a face. “You know what? Never mind. You’re cracking lame jokes so you’re probably fine.”

Kakashi grinned under the mask. “Thank you for your concern, Kiba-kun.” 

“Don’t mention it,” Kiba grumbled, “please.” 

Kakashi held back the chuckle that threatened to pass his lips. “Why are you up so early, Kiba-kun?”

Kiba made a face. “I’m always up this early.”

“Sad,” Kakashi made a face. “Why are you here?” 

Kiba rolled his eyes. “I’m trying to find out what the hell happened to Shikamaru. He was gonna meet up with me and Naruto last night. They say he hasn’t come in yet this morning but I can smell him. He’s here somewhere.”

Kakashi frowned. “You checked his office?”

Kiba bared his teeth. “No, why the hell would I check for Shikamaru _in his office?_ ”

Holding up his hands in defense, Kakashi stifled another small chuckle. “I’m just kidding, Kiba-kun, relax. He probably just got lost in work and fell asleep.”

“Yeah, but where?” Kiba frowned.

“What’s going on?” Genma stepped up beside Kakashi. 

“I can’t find Shikamaru,” Kiba answered. “He was supposed to meet me and Naruto for drinks last night and never showed.” Suddenly, Kiba’s face went a little slack and he turned to Kakashi. “Actually, now that I think about it, if you’re back, Kakashi-sensei, then Neji’s back too. Maybe I don’t want to know where Shikamaru is.”

Instinct kicked in to keep all the things Kakashi was thinking off of his face. How did Kiba know? Had Shikamaru told him? Kakashi had always known the two of them were friends, but were they that close?

Then Kiba grinned. “Wow, you’re surprise is so potent. How the hell do you think I know? I can tell who’s having sex with who _days_ after they’ve done it.” The Inuzuka then glanced at Genma, then back to Kakashi, and back again. His smile turned sly and he leaned in, his voice quieting. “You really should have washed your face this morning, Genma-san.”

Kakashi almost laughed. If Genma’s face had turned just a shade redder, he would have. 

Despite the slight blush, Genma played it off like it was nothing. “Well,” he said sounding aloof, “for your information Shikamaru has been assigned the task of organizing storage. He probably got bored and fell asleep down there.”

“Ha,” Kakashi grinned, “see?”

Kiba sighed, “Figures.” 

When the Inuzuka started walking, Kakashi followed. He wasn’t sure why, but Kakashi did a lot of things on a whim all the time. He had learned to trust his instincts at a very young age. Genma followed the two of them, seemingly bored out of his mind.

“Man,” Kiba complained as they made their way down the tower stairs, “I really, really hope Neji didn’t go seem him last night. They do some freaky shit sometimes. I remember this one time I walked into Shikamaru’s office and the whole place smelled like blood and piss. If Shikamaru’s vest hadn’t smelled so much like Neji’s jizz I would have thought he’d killed someone. And then this other time, he got up from the table at the barbeque place and came back from the bathroom fifteen minutes later in so much pain it was making my eyes burn. If he hadn’t smelled like Neji then I would have thought he’d been trying to pass a kidney stone or some—”

“—Kiba,” Genma interrupted, “I don’t think I want to hear this.”

“You’re right,” Kiba sighed. “Sorry, I just don’t have anyone to complain to about it. You guys are the only other people besides Neji he’s slept with, so I thought it was fair game.”

Kakashi almost ran into Genma’s back as the special jounin stopped in his tracks. When the hell had he gotten in front of him?

“Are you serious?” Genma asked.

“About what?” Kiba glanced over his shoulder. “Having no one to complain to?”

“No,” Genma’s aloof expression was gone, replaced by one of utter surprise. “I mean the part about how we’re the only ones… uh…”

Kiba grinned. “You’re the only ones _in Konoha_.”

Genma fell silent as the three of them rounded a corner. Kakashi was about to make some kind of inappropriate remark, but he was cut off by a loud, metallic crash from somewhere up ahead.

“What the hell was that?” Genma asked.

Kiba sniffed the air and pointed down the hallway, “Storage.”

Kakashi made it there first. He was about to turn the knob when another crash sounded from behind the door. “Ah, this is not how I wanted to spend my morning,” he grumbled.

The door swung inward and Kakashi poked his head around it. Inside the large space, the lights were on and a fine cloud of dust was flittering through the air. Several of the storage containers were open and various equipment and supplies were spilling out onto the concrete walkway between the rows.

Genma and Kiba followed the Copy Nin inside. Kiba made a noise and covered his mouth and nose. He looked like he was going to be sick.

“What’s wrong?” Genma asked him.

“Gah, it’s awful,” Kiba mumbled into his sleeve.

Kakashi took a few steps forward, spotting Shikamaru in front of one of the storage containers. The young Nara was digging through the supplies and tossing parts and equipment into sorted piles. The loud metallic crashes were him throwing the large sized shuriken in a heap against the far wall. The sound was amplified in the large space. Every time another shuriken landed on another, Kakashi had to grit his teeth against the echo.

Kakashi was about to move forward but Genma grabbed his arm. Whether it was to support or to keep Kakashi from advancing the Copy Nin didn’t know, but he stopped all the same. 

“Shikamaru!” Genma called out.

The Nara stopped digging and turned tired, bloodshot eyes on them.

“Oh, hey,” he said in a hoarse voice, “what’s up?”

His face was ashen and his eyes were swollen. It could have been from lack of sleep but Kakashi doubted it. The poor strategist looked half dead. What the hell had happened to him?

“Have you been down here all night?” Genma asked.

Shikamaru shrugged, “I don’t know, what time is it?”

“Almost six.”

“Then yes,” Shikamaru nodded and turned back around to continue his sorting.

Kakashi wasn’t exactly sure what to do, but he was Copy Ninja Kakashi. He would think of something. Gently pulling out of Genma’s grip, the silver-haired nin started to head toward his friend, but Kiba’s voice stopped him.

“I wouldn’t, Kakashi-sensei.”

Kakashi turned around and frowned through the mask. “What?”

“Why not?” Genma added.

Kiba scratched at his nose. His eyes were squinting as if something toxic filled the room. “He’s pissed. He won’t talk to you when he’s pissed.”

“So what are we gonna do?” Kakashi asked.

Kiba shook his head and turned to leave. “I’m not doin’ shit.”

“What!?” Genma growled. “You’re just going to leave him here!? What kind of—”

“—I didn’t say I was gonna leave him here,” Kiba rolled his eyes. “There’s only one person who can deal with Shikamaru’s lame ass when he’s like this.”

“Oh?” Genma’s eyebrows rose. “Who is that?”

“Choji.”

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Genma landed on the rooftop next to Kakashi just as the sun started to peek over the top of the horizon. The two nin slid over the edge and dropped soundlessly onto the ground below. As they made their way around to the front of the house, Genma chewed at the inside of his lip.

“You think he’ll be okay?” His voice was hushed, barely above a whisper. “I feel bad just leaving him there like that.”

Kakashi looked at him over his shoulder and nodded. “Shikamaru’s in good hands. Chouji’s been his best friend since before they were in academy. If anyone knows what to do, it’s him.”

Genma nodded. “I know, but…”

He almost ran into Kakashi’s back as the Copy Nin stopped. Kakashi turned around and slipped his hands into his pockets. His posture was easy and relaxed, but Genma could see that his one visible eye was guarded.

“Do you want to go back?” Kakashi asked quietly.

Genma froze, holding Kakashi’s gaze evenly. This was a tricky situation. He cared for Shikamaru deeply, and he wanted to make sure his friend was all right. But this was Kakashi. Kakashi was home, he was safe. He was alive and well and wanted to spend his first morning back alone with Genma. It was unbelievable. It was exactly what Genma wanted. 

It was also incredibly stupid. Genma was so head over heels for Kakashi it was slowly killing him. 

Genma knew that it would be all too easy to slip into this fantasy that Kakashi was in love with him and the Copy Nin was jealous of the attention Genma was giving Shikamaru. Or maybe that he was envious of the time Genma had spent alone with the young Nara while he was away. Genma knew he needed to be careful, guard his feelings, and not come across as too eager. If Kakashi found out how Genma truly felt about him, he would either break off the relationship they had now altogether, or worse, continue on like nothing was different out of pity. Genma couldn’t think of anything worse than being with Kakashi only because Kakashi felt sorry for him.

He knew he should really step away and create some space between the two of them, but looking at the younger man now, seeing his lonely eye watching him, waiting, Genma couldn’t make himself do it. And who would be able to, really? Did anyone in the universe have that kind of willpower? Doubtful. Besides, Kakashi was just back from a terrible mission. He might be functioning again, but that didn’t mean he was back to normal, or that he was all right. Genma knew Kakashi still needed someone and the special jounin was more than pleased to know that at this moment, he was that someone. 

“No, I don’t want to go back,” Genma whispered. His voice was steady and sure. “I promised you a bath and a fuck and I intend to deliver.”

Kakashi’s demeanor changed almost instantly. His eye brightened and he reached out his gloved hand to take Genma’s. 

“Excellent.”

Genma let himself be pulled onto the porch and he waited with a small smile tugging at his lips as Kakashi unlocked the door to the charming, two story traditional. When the Copy Nin slipped inside, he turned and reached for Genma’s hand. The special jounin took it without a second though and stepped over the threshold. 

The interior of the house was minimalistic but beautifully designed. Warm colors accented furniture and gave the space a welcoming atmosphere. As Genma toed off his sandals and moved through the genkan, he couldn’t stop his eyes from wandering over the few simple kakemonos hanging from the walls and various ikebana that dotted the otherwise undecorated space.

“Don’t start to think I’m all artsy or anything,” Kakashi whispered. “It’s all Sasuke. He does those with Ino and Hinata every couple of weeks. It’s like his therapy or something.”

“They’re beautiful,” Genma breathed.

“Yes they are.”

Kakashi led Genma down a hallway and motioned with a finger over his lips as they came to a staircase. Genma followed silently and stifled a laugh as he was shown into what he figured was Kakashi’s room. 

“Why are we being so quiet?” he asked.

Kakashi smiled as he rummaged around for clean clothes. “A little bird told me that the Hokage has today off. If he’s here, I don’t want to wake him up on the only day he gets to sleep in.”

Genma returned the smile. “Aw, you’re so sweet.”

Kakashi shrugged. “I don’t know how long we’re gonna be able to _stay_ quiet though.” He turned and flashed a grin in Genma’s direction. His unmasked face was haggard but nothing less than stunning in the fresh, morning light.

Genma’s heart fluttered. That damn smile really made him weak in the knees, but he had absolutely no intention of giving Kakashi the upper hand with only a pull of lips and a quick flash of teeth. Moving through the room towards the bathroom, Genma pulled at his flack vest. “Oh, I don’t know. I have a few ideas on how to keep your mouth occupied.” 

Watching Genma glide across his bedroom, Kakashi said nothing. His grin slipped away as his mind and his body took on a more serious stance. His eyes followed the special jounin as he shed the flack vest and pulled the uniform top over his head. The leg wraps came off easily, but Genma took his time sliding his pants down over his hips. Kakashi figured the older man had picked up on the fact that Kakashi loved his back, because he was milking the view for all it was worth. Genma let the pants drop to the floor and stood naked, running his hands through his hair, pulling the dirty-blond locks into a bun and securing it with a band from his wrist.

When Genma looked back at him, Kakashi felt less like the waggish predator, and more like a desperate teenager. His entire body was tense, coiled like a spring. He had given Genma the lead once again and he was ready and waiting for the older man to tell him what to do. It wasn’t surprising after the night they had just spent together. Kakashi felt better in many ways, but there was still a part of him that was suffering, still pieces of him that were aching. 

The tokujō held out his hand and after only a moment’s hesitation, Kakashi took it.

The bathtub was huge. It could have easily fit five people with room to spare. Kakashi began filling the tub while Genma warmed the water for the shower. When the Copy Nin joined him under the spray, Genma welcomed him with a kiss. They ran their hands over each other slowly, reacquainting themselves with each other’s bodies. It had been only hours since they had last been together, but that particular coupling had been raw and desperate. There had been no time to appreciate simple things like the pulse beneath Kakashi’s jaw, or the way Genma’s nipples tightened into pebbles when Kakashi pinched them.

When they finished washing, Genma turned off the water and led Kakashi to the tub. Lowering himself in, he turned and beckoned for the younger man to follow. He sat with his back against the wall and the water up to his collar. As Kakashi slipped in after him, he watched Genma’s hands run slowly over his chest and stomach. His eyes flashed as they trained on Kakashi, waiting for what he was going to do next. The Copy Nin shivered and moved to kneel between Genma’s legs, his hands moving to the edge of the tub. As he hovered over Genma’s body, Kakashi realized for the hundredth time that this man was everything he had ever wanted, everything he had ever dreamed about. 

Genma felt dizzy. Above him, with cheeks flushed, hair damp and heavy, and breath labored, Kakashi looked down into Genma’s face with a want so obvious it might as well have been carved into the lines of his face. The Copy Nin came close and pressed his lips to Genma’s, slid his tongue into Genma’s waiting mouth. The kiss was not like the ones they had shared the night before, no, this kiss was tender and slow, lips and tongues moving gently against each other. Genma brought his fingers to Kakashi’s cheeks and ran them down and over the rough stubble on Kakashi’s jaw.

Maybe he was crazy, but Genma could swear that there was something different in Kakashi’s touch. Not just different from last night, but from all the other times they had been together. Usually there was an underlying playfulness in the way the Copy Nin held him, even during the most intense moments. But tonight the touch Kakashi used as he moved against Genma in the tub was one of reverence, of complete and utter seriousness. There was no playfulness, no humor, just a feeling of intensity so potent that the air seemed to sizzle around them. The water their bodies soaked in was cold compared to the heat of their flesh as passion mounted achingly slow. Genma soon lost his breath as Kakashi’s hands explored him, touched every part of him.

Kakashi felt dizzy. There was something about Genma that was different. Genma had never held Kakashi like this before. He had never clung so desperately. Kakashi knew he was stupid. He knew it was his imagination, his desperate want for Genma to love him making the touch seem more significant than it actually was, but it made no difference. Kakashi was lost. He shuddered helplessly as Genma’s tongue slid up his neck, as the special jounin’s hands trailed up his thighs. His eyes squeezed shut as calloused hands palmed his cock, wrapped around his length and stroked him slowly, precisely. 

When Genma pushed against him, he rolled back to sit on his heels. Waiting with a desperation powerful enough to make him crazy, Kakashi watched as Genma turned around and placed his hands on the rim of the tub, right where Kakashi’s had been. His back arched deliciously and then he twisted to look at Kakashi over his shoulder. His eyes were dark, full of heat. The special jounin beckoned him with a jerk of his head, a flick of his tongue over his lips.

Kakashi did not hesitate.

He wrapped himself around Genma’s body. He slid his hands over toned abs, dipped his fingers down into the valleys between Genma’s strong thighs. He crushed his erection between the special jounin’s lower back and his own stomach. He groaned as his length slid between smooth skin and muscle, the warm water giving the sensation a new and entirely different feel.

Genma pushed back, pressed his body so tightly against Kakashi’s that the Copy Nin started to forget what parts were Genma’s and what parts were his own. 

“Come on…” Genma whispered into his ear. He felt the tokubetsu’s hand pulling at his hair.

“Do it. Fuck me right now, like this.”

Kakashi felt that if he were to die at that moment, it would be all right. It wasn’t an “I love you”, but it was as close as he was ever going to get. His hands shook as he reached up and took Genma’s chin in his palm. He kissed the older man hungrily before taking his length and pressing forward into Genma’s body. It was warm and tight, and only the smallest amount of resistance slowed him before Genma sighed and relaxed fully. Kakashi gasped as he was engulfed, as his body met the perfect line of Genma’s back. He took a moment to breath and then leaned down to kiss up that beautiful scarred skin. Genma moaned in response and slid his hand back to Kakashi’s hair.

They were moving before either of them was really ready. It didn’t matter however, all the two men cared about was giving whatever they had, taking whatever the other was willing to give. They rocked against each other, writhed together as one, lost themselves in the water and heat and desire so deep it was as if they were being swallowed whole. 

Climax was not a word that could describe what Genma felt as stars danced across his vision. His own hand pumped his length, but even that seemed to be out of his control. His entire body seemed to suddenly belong to someone else and he was just along for the ride. Pleasure clouded his senses, tension uncoiled and released from within him in such a powerful wave that he momentarily lost his mind. When he came back to himself, Kakashi was wrapped tightly around him, growling into his neck as his cock pulsed deep inside him. They hung that way for a long time, neither one of them able to speak, to move, to do anything but try and catch their breaths. 

Finally, Kakashi’s lips grazed his shoulder and his hoarse voice whispered into Genma’s ear.

“Did I hurt you?”

Genma made a noise that was half chuckle and half whimper, “No.”

Another long stretch of minutes passed as the two stayed tangled together, just breathing, coming down, coming back to reality.

“Let me up?” Genma asked.

Kakashi lifted himself off of the older man’s body and watched as Genma slowly straightened and turned around to face him. The Copy Nin’s mind was already a little frazzled, but Genma threw him for an even greater loop when he moved forward and climbed up into his lap. One powerful thigh came around each of Kakashi’s hips and the silver-haired nin had to sit back fully on his ass.

“Are you okay?” Genma asked, wrapping his arms around Kakashi’s neck.

Kakashi tilted his head up, kissing Genma softly on the mouth. The move felt natural, easy.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.”

Genma nodded once before he kissed Kakashi’s temple and embraced him gently, his hand sliding through the younger man’s hair like a child’s. 

Kakashi was stunned. Never before had someone comforted him with something as simple as a hug, and he was exceptionally happy with this unexpected turn of delicate intimacy. He slid his hands around Genma’s waist and rested his brow in the curve of the special jounin’s throat. Affection was not something he had ever seen himself lacking, but in that moment as Genma held him so lovingly, Kakashi realized that there was quite possibly a world of sensations that he had been missing. An entirely new realm of emotions and feelings that he had never before experienced because the people he had been with, and even loved on occasion, had never truly loved him back.

Startled at his own conclusions, Kakashi pulled back suddenly.

“Hey, Gen?” he asked.

“Hm?”

He looked up into Genma’s face, searching. “Gen, I uh…” 

Was it possible that Genma loved him? Just a little?

“I was just… wondering?”

_I love you. Can’t you see?_

Genma smiled and he rested his forehead against Kakashi’s. “Wondering what?”

_I love you and I wish with everything that I am that you love me too._

The moment stretched too long, and Kakashi realized it had passed.

“It’s not really that important. Do you want to get out? The water’s kind of nasty now.”

Genma laughed and kissed him and Kakashi’s heart felt as if it were going to break. When had he become such a coward?

They left the tub, drained the water, and washed once again. This time they laughed and play fought and spit water at each other. The tension was gone and the horror of the mission was forgotten, at least for now. They were back to that easy friendship they kept finding themselves returning to. It was natural and comfortable for them both and so they ran with it. They didn’t question it.

“I’m hungry,” Genma said as he snapped Kakashi’s thigh with the corner of his towel. 

Kakashi yelped at the sting on his flesh and moved into the bedroom, “Me too. What are you making me?” He grinned at the special jounin as he plucked the clean clothes he had collected earlier from the bed.

“I don’t know,” Genma made a face. “What do you have?”

* * *

Across town, Akimichi Chouji dragged Nara Shikamaru through the door to his bedroom and dropped him on his bed. The young Nara let out a long sigh and let his body fall sideways onto his pillows.

“Woa, wait, your flack vest,” Chouji said. “And take off your shoes.”

Shikamaru reluctantly sat back up and toed at the heel of his sandal. He got frustrated after a few seconds however, and pulled his leg up to grab the sandal with his hands. He tossed the offending piece of uniform across the room and cringed at the loud thud it made when it hit the wall.

“You know you didn’t have to c—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Chouji muttered as he closed the curtains. “Shut up and go to sleep already.” 

Shikamaru smiled and fluffed his pillow. He was exhausted. He couldn’t remember when he had slept last. Had he taken that nap on his desk the day before? Or had that been two days ago? He realized as he rubbed at his eyes that he had no idea what day it was, what time, or even how he had gotten home. 

“Flack vest,” Chouji said again.

Shikamaru pouted. “You do it.”

Chouji grumbled under his breath but Shikamaru could tell he was holding back a smile.

“You’re such a child.”

“Am not.”

“I’m gonna punch you,” Chouji chuckled as he opened Shikamaru’s vest and pulled it from his shoulders. He then took the gear to the footlocker at the end of the bed and disposed of it. Usually a shinobi’s footlocker was extremely personal space and was not shared with anyone, but Shikamaru trusted Chouji. After all, Chouji knew this bedroom like he knew his own.

“Now sleep for God’s sake,” Chouji muttered as he made his way toward the door. “You look like a zombie.”

Shikamaru chuckled without any real humor and stared at the floor. It was true he was beyond tired but the last thing in the world he wanted to do at that moment was sleep. 

The door closed, but Chouji did not leave. He grabbed the chair from the desk and plopped down a few feet from where Shikamaru sat. He rested his elbows on his knees and slipped a lollypop into his mouth. 

“If you’re not gonna sleep, then tell me what happened.” Chouji said.

Shikamaru felt his cheeks heating. The story was humiliating. He knew Chouji would do what he always did and just listen—exactly what Shikamaru needed at the moment—but knowing that didn’t make telling him everything any easier, or less mortifying.

Taking a breath, Shikamaru spoke so softly it was barely a whisper, “I broke it off.”

Chouji said nothing. He merely swished the lollypop stick from one side of his mouth to the other. The movement reminded Shikamaru of Genma, but he quickly pushed that thought out of his head. He did not need to be thinking about Genma now too on top of everything else.

“I told him I didn’t want to see him outside of work, and if he wanted to fuck he needed to find somebody else.”

Chouji nodded. “You mean that?”

Shikamaru suddenly felt nauseous. The gravity of what he had said before in his office had not escaped him, but it wasn’t until he said it again aloud that it finally sunk in. He had told Neji to leave, that he never wanted to see him again. It was finally over, this toxic thing they had between them. He didn’t have to wait alone in his room at night for someone who might not be coming. He wouldn’t have to plan secret meets and complicated meeting places at strange hours. He wouldn’t have to go behind friends and family’s backs anymore. He would never again have to feel ashamed for letting someone manipulate him so profoundly. 

But that also meant that he would never again feel Neji’s soft skin under his hands. He would never again feel the press of Neji’s lips on his own, or the fascinating texture of Neji’s tongue on his throat. He would never hold Neji again, lay with him, come with him. 

He would never laugh with Neji again, or cry, or just be with him ever again.

“Shikamaru,” Chouji’s voice pulled Shikamaru from his thoughts. His chest was tight. His hands trembled. He stared at the floor, too frightened of what he might do if he looked up and met Chouji’s sympathetic eyes.

“Shikamaru, seriously, are you going to be okay?”

“It fucking hurts to breathe.” Shikamaru felt like he would cry, but there were no more tears to be shed. “He said I didn’t matter. I thought he’d come to me for help, but he was just there to use my stuff. He doesn’t care what I think or how I feel or anything because I—I don’t matter.”

Chouji shifted, bringing himself closer. He spoke in a hushed voice as if they were speaking where someone could hear.

“You already know what I think, so I’m not gonna say it.”

Shikamaru nodded and the two of them sat quietly for a few minutes. Over the years long silences between the two friends had become commonplace and not the least bit awkward. If the measure of a friend was how long two people could sit comfortably together without talking, then there was no one in the world that was better friends than Chouji and Shikamaru. 

When Chouji finally spoke again, it was in the same quiet, conspiring voice as before. “You really need to sleep.”

“I don’t want to sleep.”

“Why not?” Chouji asked.

Shikamaru could feel that same mortification seeping in again but he pushed the words past his lips. It was Chouji after all.

“You know that moment, that four or five seconds of time when you first wake up and you’re just lying there? You’re still climbing out of your dream and everything is just… okay?”

Chouji nodded slowly, confusion etched into his face.

“I can’t… I can’t deal with that,” Shikamaru whispered. “I can’t wake up to that again because when it all comes back and I remember everything that’s going on and how stupid I am…”

Shikamaru trailed off. He had been about to say how he just didn’t want to wake up any more, but if it sounded that melodramatic in his head he knew it would sound worse if he said it aloud. Instead, he closed his mouth and just let the unspoken things sit in the air between him and his best friend. He sat and tried not to think about Neji or Genma or missions or the fact that he was so tired his brain could only coherently follow a half a dozen thoughts at once.

Finally, Chouji spoke. “Well, you’re not stupid. You might be a little dull around the edges right now, but that’s because you haven’t slept in like ten years.”

Shikamaru actually laughed. It was such a Chouji thing to say, obvious and to the point. When his best friend stood and pushed Shikamaru back onto the pillows, Shikamaru didn’t fight it. 

“All right, sleep time.” 

Shikamaru rolled to his side and curled up on the pillow. His body physically ached from many things besides fatigue and his heart hurt with every beat, but watching his friend as he replaced the chair at the desk and moved to the door, Shikamaru remembered that he was not alone. Far from it in fact. 

“I’ll hang out here with your mom for a bit, just in case,” Chouji said. 

The Akimichi’s worries were baseless, however. When he turned back he found Shikamaru had already fallen asleep. Finally the crease in his brow had smoothed and the tension in his body was slowly ebbing away.

Chouji smiled softly and he slipped out of the bedroom and into the hallway.

* * *

Genma rinsed and tossed a mixture of blackberries and raspberries in Kakashi’s metal colander. After setting it aside he measured flower, eggs, and salt into a bowl and whisked them together.

“I need the milk,” he said.

Kakashi retrieved the milk from the fridge and handed it to Genma before snickering, “I can’t believe you’re making them. They’re such a pain.”

Genma smiled. “Copy Ninja Kakashi, master of a thousand jutsu, can’t make a crepe?”

“It’s not that I _can’t_ ,” Kakashi pouted. 

Genma shook his head as he added salt to the mix and moved to turn down the heat on the burner. “Well, I’ll make them whenever you want them.”

_Oh, nice one. Why don’t you just ask if you can move in?_

“Do you make omelet rice too?” Kakashi asked.

“Don’t tell me you can’t make omelet rice.”

“Oh, no I can make omelet rice, I was just wondering if you did.”

Genma smile widened as he grabbed the mixing bowl and returned to the stove, “Of course.”

“Okay,” Kakashi chuckled behind him, “I’ll keep you around.”

Genma put oil in the pan and checked the temperature, but not before throwing a look over his shoulder. “Fine, but for future reference I don’t usually like to have sex first thing in the morning. Today was special.”

_What? Why did you say that!_

“Too bad,” Kakashi chuckled behind him.

There was a long silence as Genma poured the batter into the pan and tilted it in a circular motion to spread the mixture thin. The special jounin’s anxiety grew as his last words rang in his ears. So stupid! Hopefully Kakashi just took it as a joke. Just another teasing comment to add to their “let’s joke about getting married because it’s so absurd” routine. By the time the crepe was ready to flip, Genma’s heart and lungs were so knotted up he could barely breathe. He tied to push words past his lips, anything that would ease the tension, but then he was startled as strong hands came around his waist. His heart fluttered as Kakashi’s unmasked face rested against his neck. The warmth of the Copy Nin’s body as it pressed against his back was welcome and managed to slowly sooth his racing heart.

“This is nice,” Kakashi whispered.

Genma let out a long breath. Focus. He tried to keep his voice steady as he replied, “Yeah, it is.”

Kakashi’s arms tightened around him. Genma lifted his hands to Kakashi’s and ran his thumb over the Copy Nin’s scarred skin. When Kakashi’s lips ghosted across Genma’s ear, the special jounin almost moaned.

“Thank you,” Kakashi whispered. “Thank you for staying with me.”

Genma stood still, willing himself not to tremble, not to do anything that would give away his distress. His heart hurt so much. There was no way he was going to be able to do this. He loved Kakashi so much it was tearing him apart. What was he supposed to do? How was he going to bare it? 

Instead of answering, Genma tilted his head back and kissed Kakashi on the jaw. “You’re making this hard.”

Kakashi chuckled and pulled away slowly. He moved to stand beside Genma as the special jounin slid the first crepe out of the pan and added more batter. 

“Can I try?” he asked.

“Sure.” Genma relinquished the pan gratefully. Having Kakashi standing over him, watching his every move, was just not what he needed at the moment. Backing up, he leaned against the frame for the kitchen doorway. He felt his pockets but remembered his pack of cigarettes was still in the drawer in his office.

“Damn,” Genma sighed. 

“What’s up?” Kakashi asked, flipping the crepe with ease.

Genma shook his head, “Nothing. I just left my cigarettes at the tower.”

A soft voice spoke at Genma’s side.

“I have some.”

Startled, Genma turned to meet coal-black eyes and a pale, handsome face. Uchiha Sasuke stood not even a foot from him and he hadn’t felt a goddamned thing, not even the whisper of a chakra signature. For just a moment, Genma believed the stories about how the last Uchiha survivor was, in fact, a ghost. 

Feeling his mouth go dry, Genma stood frozen as Sasuke regarded him curiously. There was nothing about the Uchiha’s demeanor that said he had malicious intent, but there was no getting around the fact that there was a terrifying air surrounding Sasuke all the time.

“When did you start smoking, Sasuke?” Kakashi asked over his shoulder. 

Sasuke’s eyes left Genma for just a moment while he spoke to Kakashi. “They’re not mine. I was holding them for Inuzuka.”

Genma marveled as he studied Sasuke, he hadn’t had that many opportunities in the last few years. The boy had grown from an attractive teenager into a gorgeous young man. Dark hair, angular features, smooth unblemished skin, tall and lean, but muscular. He was like a painting, a perfect sculpture. A mixture of danger and beauty and—oh God he was nineteen like Shikamaru and Shikamaru was too damn young and that meant that Sasuke was _too damn young to be thinking he was pretty Genma what are you doing?_

__“Uh…” Genma choked out, “that would be great, Sasuke-kun. After breakfast?”_ _

__Sasuke studied him for another moment before he nodded._ _

__Genma remembered Sasuke’s father, Fugaku, and how his eyes had penetrated right through you, just like Sasuke’s were doing now. Genma shivered. It wasn’t that he was frightened he was just feeling a little cautious. The boy—man—standing before him had caused a lot of trouble and set in motion a lot of events that had killed a lot of people. He was also capable of things that Genma couldn’t even begin to imagine._ _

__Kakashi’s laugh broke Genma from his thoughts._ _

__“I wish I had a camera so you guys could see yourselves right now.”_ _

__Genma blinked. How long had he been standing there gawking like a moron?_ _

__“Go sit down, Sasuke,” Kakashi grinned and motioned with the spatula. “We’re having crepes.”_ _

__Sasuke reluctantly pulled his gaze away from Genma and headed towards the bar stools. It was incredible to watch him move. He was just like Kakashi, all grace. No movement wasted, everything was fluid. When Sasuke sat, he watched Kakashi as the Copy Nin started filling the crepes with berries, but his eyes found Genma again after only a few moments._ _

__Suddenly, there were hands on Genma’s shoulders. The special jounin twisted his head around and this time he met with blue eyes and a mop of wild, blond hair._ _

__“Be very careful,” Naruto whispered. He threw an arm over Genma’s shoulders and pointed to Sasuke._ _

__“His vision’s based on movement.”_ _

__Genma pulled on his best aloof expression and scoffed. It wouldn’t do to ruin his image more than he already had that morning. “Thank you for the warning, Hogake-sama.”_ _

__Naruto chuckled and beamed a wide smile at the tokujō. “Shiranui-san, it’s good to see you. How’s it going?”_ _

__“Fine, sir,” Genma replied._ _

__Naruto chuckled again as he pulled the orange juice from the fridge and took two glasses as from the cupboard. “Fine? Sounded like it was a lot more than _fine_ this morning.”_ _

__Genma was sure he heard a snort from Kakashi’s side of the kitchen but he ignored it. He folded his arms and leaned against the doorframe once again as years of practice kept his embarrassment off his face._ _

__“I apologize if we woke you, sir.”_ _

__Naruto waved his hands like there was something foul in the air. “Bluh, it’s too early for ‘sir’ and ‘Hokage’. I’m just ‘Naruto’ until eight thirty. Except on weekends, then I’m ‘Naruto’ until lunchtime, but that’s only if Iruka doesn’t catch me before—oh _wow_ what are you making, Kakashi-sensei? It smells sooo good!”_ _

__“Keep your hands off.”_ _

__“But I wanna—”_ _

__“—No.”_ _

__“Just a taste!”_ _

__“ _Off._ ”_ _

__Naruto made a face but didn’t argue as he took two glasses of orange juice and went to sit at the table. As he slid into his seat, Genma watched with growing fascination as Sasuke followed and sat beside him. Naruto smiled at Sasuke and the two shared a few brief, whispered words. It was beautiful the way they interacted with each other. Back when two of them had been on Kakashi’s team, before Sasuke had left the village, Genma had seen the two together once or twice out at the market or at the ramen stand. They had obviously been friends but Genma would have never guessed that there was more to their relationship then that. The whole thing brought up a lot of questions in the special jounin’s mind. Was it something that had happened between them that had made Sasuke leave? What had happened when he had come back? How was their relationship now that Sasuke’s emotions had been shut off? How did that even work?_ _

__“You okay?” Kakashi’s voice was in his ear._ _

__Genma turned and took the plate of steaming crepes from Kakashi’s hands. The sugar and berry concoction smelled divine and the Copy Nin had prettied them up with a sprinkling of powdered sugar._ _

__Holding the plate in a grip much tighter than it should have been Genma stared at the patterns of dusted sugar against the dark blue ceramic of the plate. He was suddenly unsure. He felt out of place. This was more than just a quick breakfast after a buddy fuck. This was an intimate setting of family and loved ones sharing the morning meal. Where did he fit into this? Did he even have the right to take part in it?_ _

__“Genma?” Kakashi paused in pulling down plates to look at him. “Gen? What’s up?”_ _

__Genma forced his eyes to lift and meet Kakashi’s. He shrugged his shoulders even though he felt as if a profound weight had just settled on them._ _

__“I…” he said softly._ _

__Kakashi set the plates on the counter and came closer. His eyes were full of concern. “What?”_ _

__Genma swallowed. “Is this okay? I mean it’s family…”_ _

__Kakashi surprised him with a grin. He took the plate from Genma’s hands and leaned in. He kissed the special jounin’s lips right there where Sasuke and Naruto could see everything. Genma’s first reaction was to pull away, but there was something in Kakashi’s touch. That same feeling Genma had felt earlier in the shower and in the tub. That feeling kept him from shying away, from trying to hide in front if Kakashi’s most important people. He knew somewhere deep down that if Kakashi kissed him with an audience, then Kakashi didn’t care if people saw._ _

__That thought was liberating and Genma felt lighter having realized it. It wasn’t an “I love you” or anything so concrete, but it was good enough. At least for now. When Kakashi pulled away, Genma was smiling, genuinely. When the Copy Nin leaned forward again and whispered softly into Genma’s ear, the special jounin couldn’t help but turn into him and nuzzle his neck._ _

__“You are my family,” Kakashi murmured._ _

__Genma’s heart burst. Naruto teased them as they sat down, and Sasuke seemed to enjoy making Genma uncomfortable with his probing looks, but they welcomed him to their table and that was all Genma could possibly ask for._ _

__And the breakfast was delicious._ _

____

* * *

When Shikamaru awoke, he lay quietly for a few moments drifting up and out of a dream filled with throwing stars and young genin’s laughter. He rested against the pillows, one arm by his head and the other across his chest. He floated hazily on the edges of both reality and the dream world for a few moments, enjoying the sound of the wind sending the maple branches sliding gently across his window.

And then the dream world started to slip away. The events of yesterday started filling his mind, caving in his peaceful conscious. Thoughts of missions and work and exhaustion and Genma and Chouji bringing him home after… 

Shikamaru squeezed his eyes shut. He could stop it if he tried. He could halt the rush of things he didn’t want to think about. If he concentrated on work or strategy or something like that he could keep unwanted memories at bay. ANBU training schedule. Medical reports. Documents that needed filing. That strange painting on the wall that lead to section thirteen.

Wait, section thirteen.

Shikamaru’s eyes snapped open. How the hell had he forgotten?

Throwing himself out of the bed, Shikamaru moved across the room and retrieved his satchel from the floor. He set the bag on his desk and yanked it open. Inside were an assortment of things like notebooks and kunai and empty water bottles, but what he wanted was the leather case that held various folders and files. Tossing the satchel on the bed, Shikamaru opened the leather case and took the top file from inside.

File number thirteen, eighty-one, fifty-one, zero, zero. S-Class.

The task of stealing this file had been surprisingly easy. A quick memorization of the access codes, a little shadow manipulation and the file was out the door and into Shikamaru’s bag. The whole thing had taken less than fifteen minutes. He hadn’t even been missed.

The whole thing had caused Shikamaru to rethink the security protocols in the entire Hokage tower, but that was a problem for another time.

Hands trembling, Shikamaru pulled out his desk chair and sat. He had no idea what he was supposed to be looking for, but Iruka had seemed quite intent on him getting this information and reading it. As he opened the file, Shikamaru was met with a picture of Sasuke and a breakdown of his medical records. He started reading, wanting to understand everything as thoroughly as possible.

Five pages in, he stopped. He went back and read over the paragraph again. And then once more. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing, what this file was implying.

Shikamaru looked up. His mind was racing, branching out into a thousand different scenarios. 

“Is this…” he murmured, “Is this right?”

Slapping the file closed, Shikamaru stuffed it back into the case. He quickly changed his clothes, brushed his teeth, and retied his hair. He grabbed his shoes and satchel and ran out the door. His mother called after him as he breezed through the entry, but he only spared her an “I’ll be back later!” before slamming the door behind him.

Leaping over rooftops, Shikamaru made it to the Hokage tower in less than a few minutes. He pushed through the entrance and rushed up the stairs. He passed a few people that called out to him, but he ignored them. When he came to the Hokage’s office, he didn’t knock or wait to be admitted. He pushed right in and walking in on Iruka and Naruto arguing over a stack of papers as Kakashi watched from his perch on the desk.

“Shikamaru!” Nauto’s eyes were wide. “You’re back!”

Iruka turned to him and fixed him with a similar look. “Oh, Shikamaru-kun, are you okay?”

Shikamaru nodded. “Of course I am, but that doesn’t matter. I need to speak to Neji. Do you know where he is?”

Naruto stiffened and his eyes glanced at Iruka sideways. “Did you tell him?”

“Tell me what?” Shikamaru growled. 

Iruka straightened and wrung his hands. “You know I can’t. I’ve been sealed so I can’t tell him anything. I just gave him the file number.”

Shikamaru’s mind continued work, to sort out the information he had read and combine it with what he already knew and the reactions and behavior of his Hokage and assistant. 

“I need to speak to Neji,” Shikamaru’s voice was low, menacing, “right now.” 

Kakashi spoke from the desk. “It’s not possible, Shikamaru. Neji is out on a mission.”

Shikamaru blinked stupidly at Kakashi for a moment. “Okay, fine. I need to talk to Sasuke.”

Naruto shook his head. “Sasuke’s with Neji.”

For a moment, Shikamaru considered the possibility that he was still asleep. His head was starting to hurt as his mind continued to scatter in more directions that it really should be going.

“How the hell could Sasuke be gone? He was here when I left this morning. Did something come up in the last few hours?”

Iruka, Kakashi, and Naruto all exchanged surprised glances before Iruka turned back to Shikamaru.

“Shikamaru-kun, you didn’t leave the office this morning. You left three days ago.”

Shikamaru blinked. “What?”

Kakashi slid off the desk and came close. He placed a steadying hand on Shikamaru’s shoulder.

“Chouji came and took you out of Storage on Saturday morning. It’s Tuesday now.”

Shikamaru’s mind reeled. It was no wonder his body felt so rested and his head had not hurt when he had first gotten up. He had just figured he had slept through the day and had awoken in the late afternoon. _Three days?_ How was that even possible?

“Okay,” Shikamaru turned to Kakashi, “I left on Saturday. So Sasuke and Neji left Sunday?”

“Yesterday,” Naruto corrected.

“What’s going on, Shikamaru?” Iruka asked gently. “What did you find out?”

Shikamaru’s eyes burned. His heart was throbbing as his conclusions were coming together. He had been so stupid. He was supposed to be a genius but he hadn’t seen what was going on right in front of him. 

“I…” Shikmaru’s words caught as a lump welled up in his throat. “I thought I knew. I thought I knew him but I didn’t. I was so wrong. I’m such a fucking idiot.”

“What?” Kakashi eyes were full of concern.

“Neji,” he whispered. “He—he doesn’t hate me. I fucked up. He was trying to fix it.”

Shikamaru stood immobile as the reality of what was happening crashed down around him. His chest hurt as he took a breath. 

“It’s all my fault.”

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

_Sunday morning._

“Oh come on, it’s like two in the morning.”

“Maybe he smelled the pancakes?”

“You get it, Kakashi, I’m trying to flip here.”

The messenger bird perched on Genma’s window, a tiny scroll tied to its leg. Kakashi lifted the small animal gently and pulled the release tag. There was a puff of smoke and a quiet _pop_ sending the bird back to the aviary as its mission was complete. When Kakashi tried to open the scroll, warmth spread out through his hands. It was the tingle of electricity, the power of a complex sealing jutsu designed to keep anyone but Shiranui Genma from getting inside and reading the mission details.

Cold dread dropped into the pit of the Copy Nin’s stomach and he touched Genma lightly on the shoulder.

“It’s sealed,” he said softly.

Genma paused in the middle of transferring pancakes from the pan to a platter. He glanced over his shoulder at the small scroll and sighed. 

“God damnit,” he whispered.

Mission scrolls with a blood seal were almost always S-class. 

“Seriously, on a Sunday morning?” Genma removed the rest of the pancakes and turned the heat off on the stove. He reached up and pulled free the senbon that was holding his hair back and used it to prick his finger. The seal released and the scroll rolled out onto his palm.

Kakashi waited as the tokujō read silently. The older man’s brown eyes darkened and his brow furrowed as he took in whatever mission parameters were outlined in the small writing. With every passing moment that Kakashi waited in silence it became that much harder to bear. Why now? Why when everything was going so well? They’d had the weekend. It was just the two of them, all alone in Genma’s apartment. There were no missions, no details, no paperwork; just happiness and laughter and sex.

It was quite possible that the last twenty-four hours had been the best of Kakashi’s life. Laying there in the darkness with Genma beside him, just being together, talking about friends and family, the past and careful hopes of the future, it had sometimes seemed like a dream. They had come together once in Genma’s bed, and once in the bath, twice on the couch, and then again in the kitchen as they searched for something to drink. The light from the setting sun had caught in loose strands of Genma’s hair as the special jounin had pulled himself up onto the counter and spread himself wide. That time had been a little quicker, a little rougher than the rest as Kakashi’s passion had overtaken him. Genma had not seemed to mind, and had returned the favor when he had taken Kakashi on the floor by the kotatsu not even a half an hour later.

It was hard to believe that time had been real.

Naked, hard, and buckling under the weight of his love and his worry for Genma, Kakashi tried to keep what he was feeling off of his face and out of his stance as the special jounin finally finished reading the mission scroll, but it was impossible. Genma saw it the moment his eyes met Kakashi’s.

“Hey,” he said softly and lifted his hand to Kakashi’s bare jaw, “Hey, don’t look like that.”

Kakashi let out the breath of a failed chuckle, “I can’t help it, this is my face.”

The tokujō closed the scroll and waved his hand as it disintegrated between his fingers. When it was gone, he put his hand on Kakashi’s hip, pulling him closer.

“I don’t have to report until tomorrow morning. We still have our weekend.”

Sighing, Kakashi relaxed into that warm embrace and rested his forehead against Genma’s. He slid his arms over muscled shoulders and wrapped them around the other man’s neck. “You want to talk about it?”

Genma nodded. “I’ll tell you about it after we eat, it actually sounds kind of interesting.”

“You sure you still want to eat?”

Smiling, Genma slid his hands down to cup Kakashi’s bare ass. “You’re the one who said he was craving pancakes at one o’clock in the morning.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“There’s a lot wrong with you,” Genma teased, “but craving pancakes isn’t part of it. Can you grab some forks?”

They ate at the kotatsu, sitting close, their naked bodies warm under the thick blanket. Genma pulled one of Kakashi’s legs over his lap, putting the Copy Nin immediately into his space. He alternated between slipping bits of pancake into Kakashi’s mouth, and running his hands up the inside of the younger man’s thighs. Kakashi savored the attention one moment, heady with arousal and affection, and the next, wanting to tuck his face into Genma’s throat and cry from feelings that were overwhelming.

“Where are you going?” he asked finally.

Genma wiped at the edge of his mouth with the pad of his thumb. “Somewhere north in the Land of Earth. We’re headed to Iwagakure for specifics and then further west for some kind of retrieval.”

“Retrieval?”

Nodding, Genma ran his fingers down into the valley where Kakashi’s thigh met his hip. The Copy Nin caught his breath and leaned into the older man, pushing him back against the foot of the couch. 

Genma continued as if nothing was happening at all. “It sounds like this is the hub for that slave ring. You remember that mission a few months ago with Aoba?” 

Kakashi shivered as Genma’s hands continued to torment gently. “How could I forget that mission?”

“Well, I guess intelligence has tracked that guy’s superiors to a small town a little north of Hanaishi. The ring is run by a few missing nin. Sounds like Bingo Book.”

Sighing, Kakashi shook his head. “Why am I not going?”

Genma shrugged and let his hand slip lower. Kakashi bit back a moan.

“Maybe because you just returned from an S-class a few days ago? I’m sure there’s something in the regulations about that somewhere.”

Kakashi’s eyes slipped closed as Genma’s fingers teased the sensitive skin at the base of his cock. He was hard; he had been for a while. The special jounin’s soft voice and his talented hands had sufficiently distracted him from his distress over Genma’s mission and he was slowly turning into putty. He was warm clay, pliable, ready to be molded into whatever Genma wished. Kakashi was not entirely sure if that had been the tokujō’s intention, but did it really matter?

“I can’t believe you’re ready to go again,” Genma whispered into his neck. 

“Why,” Kakashi breathed, “aren’t you?”

“Of course,” the special jounin ran his lips over Kakashi’s throat as he spoke, his breath puffed warm across the Copy Nin’s skin. “You have to remember though, I’m an old man. I can’t keep this up forever.”

Kakashi smiled as his head fell back. “Just one more. One more time and then we can sleep for a bit. Get your strength back.”

He felt Genma’s hands grip his forearms, felt the older man tremble with desire.

“You will be the death of me, Kakashi,” Genma groaned.

No, he was wrong. Kakashi knew if either of them was going to be overcome with the other, it was him. Genma would be his undoing and Kakashi had finally surrendered himself to that fact. He reveled in it. 

Slowly, in one smooth, solid motion, Kakashi climbed up into Genma’s lap. He kissed the special jounin lazily, and pushed the older man back to relax against the couch cushions. Genma gripped his hips, slid his thumbs down into the curve just above his straining sex. His tongue was leisurely, gentle as he explored Kakashi’s mouth. His hips rolled slowly, carefully as they rocked to together between the kotatsu and the couch.

Their pace had eased throughout the day and night. Besides the time in the kitchen, it had been in slow decline, going from quick and playful in Genma’s bed, to slower, more thoughtful movements in the bath, and here in the living room. Each time was longer, each time the touches became less about sexual release and more about exploration, more caress than anything. With each time, their movements slowed but the intensity increased. The passion mounted with each sigh and with each cry of release. 

This time was the slowest, the most languid of them all. This unhurried, gentle sex against the couch was more intense, more overcoming than anything Kakashi had yet experienced. When he sank down onto Genma’s length, he took a moment to just look, just appreciate the way the special jounin’s eyes clouded over with desire. The way his mouth came open and deep, panting breaths slipped from between his lips. 

Kakashi leaned in close, braced his arms on the couch cushions, and wrapped himself around Genma. The special jounin’s arms came up around his waist and those brown eyes bore into him as Kakashi started to move. It was so slow, like they wanted it to last forever. Genma’s cock slid in and out of Kakashi’s body so smoothly, so perfectly. He felt it inside of him, touching places he didn’t even know could feel good. He felt strong hands holding him down, holding him steady against Genma’s shuddering frame.

They spoke no words, gave each other no commands, and voiced no requests. There was no need. Their bodies did all the talking for them. As Kakashi felt himself getting close, starting to come, he wrapped his arms around Genma’s neck and held him tight. The tokujō’s hand was on his cock, stroking him as slowly as their grind would allow. 

_I love you,_ Kakashi breathed into Genma’s mouth, screaming the words in his head. _I fucking love you._

“Ah, fuck,” Genma groaned and Kakashi felt him start to come, but then he himself was lost in a shattering moment of pleasure and electricity. Every one of his muscles tensed before everything released at once. He saw stars before his vision blacked, and then he felt Genma’s lips on his face, kissing his cheeks and eyelids.

“…shi… Kakashi…”

He had lost time again, blacked out. When he came to, he opened his eyes and found Genma there, panting, flushed. His eyes were tired, his skin hot and damp, but he was still kissing Kakashi’s face, still running his hands over the Copy Nin’s back.

This would be the time. If there ever was a time to tell Genma that he loved him, this was it. He could just open his mouth right now, let the words fall out. There were already there and waiting, just on the tip of his tongue. It would be all right, Genma wouldn’t hate him. Even if Genma didn’t love him back, they would be okay. He would understand.

“Kakashi?”

No, he was a coward. Kakashi had lost so much and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing what he had with Genma as well. Besides, he was so tired. So very, very tired.

“You wanna... sleep now?” Kakashi asked, having a little trouble finding the words.

Genma nodded against his forehead.

They stood together and headed to the bedroom, neither bothered with clothes or cleaning up, they just fell onto the futon and tangled themselves together underneath the sheets. Kakashi tucked himself in underneath Genma’s jaw and felt his heart break at the way the special jounin pulled him tightly against his chest. 

Kakashi was done for. He knew it. He just wished he had the courage to say it out loud.

* * *

_Monday morning._

Monday morning came too soon. Genma still had laundry in piles around his apartment and he had forgotten to empty the fridge. Unfortunately, three weeks was just enough time for takeout to grow feet and escape. He hoped Iruka had assigned someone competent to take over his duties until he returned, because the last time he had left on a mission that was longer than three days, Genma had returned to chaos. It had taken forever just to correct all the errors.

As he locked the door and reset the traps, Genma felt a tightening in his chest unlike anything he had ever felt before. A sadness pulled at him from deep inside and he knew it had nothing to do with leaving his apartment and his things, or the possibility of his work being tampered with. No, there was really only one thing on his mind. One singular thing that was causing an ache in his heart that was so profound that he almost couldn’t breathe.

He was dreading leaving Kakashi.

The weekend they had just spent together had been the best two days of Genma’s life. However, those two days had also torn him apart inside. Kakashi’s touch, his breath, his skin, the taste of his lips, and the feel of his body were all Genma could think about, all he could see. He wanted more and he wanted it to be okay that he wanted more. He wanted, for once, to be able to love someone openly. He wanted to be free to give everything he had without the possibility of everything falling apart. He wanted to be with Kakashi without fear and without guilt. 

Maybe this mission was a good thing. Maybe a few weeks away, with his focus on something else, he could distance himself a little. 

“Hey Gen,” a familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts and he turned around. 

“Hey Raidou.”

His friend smiled and adjusted the pack strapped to his shoulders. “You ready?”

Genma nodded. “Yeah, let’s go.”

That was a lie, he hadn’t said goodbye to Kakashi yet. The Copy Nin had left his apartment late last night, promising to see him before he left, but had not shown his face since, and now Genma was headed to the gate. It hurt more than Genma wanted to admit, but there could be any number of things that were keeping Kakashi from coming to see him and say goodbye.

“You all right?” Raidou asked as they made their way over rooftops.

Genma sighed, “Just stupid stuff. I’ll get over it.”

“You know you can talk to me,” Raidou said.

Genma smiled over his shoulder as they slowed and dropped to the street below them. “I know, Rai, thanks.”

Sakura and Kiba caught up with them as they made their way through the market. Sakura waved to them and Kiba nodded a greeting as he tore into a bit of grilled meat on a stick. He tossed a piece to Akamaru and licked the remainder from his fingers.

“Fine day for an S-class isn’t it?” he grinned.

“Suppose so,” Raidou said, “Iwagakure’s gonna be cold as balls though.”

“Yes,” Sakura said, pulling small packets from her bag, “please remember to wear your gloves. I have extra soldier pills and heat rations but I’d rather not use those up.”

“Is it really going to be that cold?” Kiba asked.

“For some of the journey, yes,” Genma answered.

As they turned the corner, the West Gate came into view. The rest of their team stood waiting, gathered in a small group. The green of Lee’s obnoxious spandex was obvious, as was the white of Kakashi’s silver hair.

Genma almost stopped in his tracks, the relief that washed over him was so powerful he almost laughed out loud. Of course Kakashi would see them off, Sasuke was here too. The young Uchiha was a part of this mission and so Kakashi had no doubt been with his charge, helping him get ready. 

Sasuke stood with his hands settled lazily in his pockets as Lee regaled him with some tale or another. He feigned disinterest in the same manor Kakashi feigned disinterest with Guy. It was almost charming the way both men stood listening, but making an obvious effort in looking like they were not. 

Sai was there as well, but he was not pretending to do anything. He had his nose deep in his sketchbook, his focus on something far away. 

The last of their party stood a few feet behind Lee, away from the group, his attention on the tree line just outside the village. His long, dark hair fell across his shoulders and down his back, tickled by the gentle breeze that filtered through the open gates. 

“What the fuck,” Kiba muttered under his breath, “What the hell is Neji doing here?”

“We need him,” Sakura said simply. “Don’t complain.”

Kiba growled low and Akamaru followed suit. “If I had known that asshole was gonna be here I would have told Iruka to go fuck himself.”

“Kiba!”

“Sorry, Sakura-chan, but seriously.”

“Hi Kakashi-sensei,” Sakura ignored Kiba’s apology and joined her team members, “Hey Sasuke-kun. Did you remember to eat?”

Sasuke nodded and put a hand over his flat stomach. “Yes, I am full of ramen.”

“Of course,” she replied, laughing softly.

Genma caught a look from Raidou and his friend grinned at him. He took the unspoken signal and made his way around the group towards Kakashi. The Copy Nin met him halfway, his one visible eye was crinkled, but Genma could still see the anxiety there that was not quite hidden enough. 

“It’s only three weeks,” Genma smiled, “I’ll make sure he’s okay. Not that he needs my help, I mean he could kill me with his pinky, but you know what I mean.”

Kakashi continued to look at him with that same quiet trepidation. Genma wanted to believe it was for him, that Kakashi’s worry and sadness was for his leaving more than Sasuke, but he knew that was not very likely.

Finally, the Copy Nin motioned with his head. “Walk with me for a sec?”

Curious, Genma nodded, “Sure.”

They moved away from the group to stand underneath one of the trees lining the inside of the wall. Kakashi slipped his hands in his pockets and looked as if he was about to say something, but he only managed to whisper a soft hum before he fell completely silent. 

Genma could feel the other man’s anxiety heighten and for a moment he panicked. What if Kakashi was planning to end this thing between them now? It was a good time to do it. They had just spent that wonderful weekend together. He could end it now on a high note and then they would have three weeks apart to separate themselves effectively. 

Stammering, tripping over his words, Genma tried to break up the silence before he did something stupid.

“I um, could you maybe water my plants while I’m gone?” he asked. “I usually have Aoba do it but I forgot to ask him.”

Kakashi watched him, unmoving for several moments before he finally nodded.

Pain tightened in Genma’s chest and in his gut at the way Kakashi’s shoulders seemed to slump.

“Hey, I just wanted to say that I had a good time this weekend. You were, I mean, it was really fun, but if you wanted to maybe tone it down when you get back it’s okay. I’m not—”

“—I love you,” Kakashi said softly.

Genma felt the ground beneath his feet fall away. Something swooped in his stomach as his limbs suddenly felt weak. He found questions piling up in the back of his throat but his mouth, his tongue, and lips could not form them into words.

His heart pounded inside his chest; thumped relentlessly against his ribcage.

He tried to form the word ‘what’ because that seemed the only logical response. He wanted to understand how and why, and could this even be real, but he couldn’t get sound past his lips.

“I’ve been trying to think of how to tell you all weekend,” Kakashi said, his voice still quiet. “I’m not expecting an answer. You don’t have to answer ever if you don’t want to. I just needed to tell you and three weeks would have been enough time to make me lose my nerve forever.”

A gentle warmth of happiness started to fill Genma from the deepest, most hidden and lonely parts of his heart, all the way out to his head and toes and the tips of his fingers. He had never known such a feeling existed. He had never known that he could feel this good. He wanted to scream, to jump up and down, to dance in the middle of the village until he passed out from exhaustion, and cry every last one of his tears all at the same time.

_Kakashi loved him._

“I uh,” the Copy Nin was watching the ground at his feet, “When you get back… you don’t have to…” he shifted his stance, lifted a hand to scratch at the back of his neck. “You should know my pride’ll be okay with a pity fuck now and then. But hey, that’s completely up to you, so don’t—”

Genma moved before the Copy Nin could talk himself into a hole. He closed the distance between them and lifted a hand to pull down Kakashi’s mask. The younger man’s eyes found his and widened as Genma came close. His breath was sharp as their lips met in a soft kiss. The Copy Nin stood stiff and unmoving for a fraction of a moment, and in that moment Genma suspended his doubt and his worry and everything else that had been holding him back for the last few months. He let the moment happen and waited patiently, hoping, believing.

And then that moment fell away and Kakashi moved. He made a soft noise and opened into the kiss. Genma felt hands in his hair and then arms around his neck. Kakashi kissed him and held him tightly, possessively, like a lover. When Genma’s arms came around the other man’s waist, it felt right. It felt _perfect_.

They broke apart to look at each other. Kakashi’s one grey eye was so bright and so full of affection, even underneath the heavy eyelid. It crinkled at the corner as he smiled and Genma felt like swooning.

“Kakashi I—”

“—Wait, no,” Kakashi held up his hand to interrupt, “Don’t say anything.”

Genma chuckled softly, “Why?”

Shaking his head, Kakashi put a finger to his lips and leaned in close. They came together again, kissing sweetly underneath the branches of the tree, out in the open, unashamed in the eyes of their friends and team members. They did not care if anyone saw. 

“Save it,” Kakashi whispered as they pulled away. “Hold onto it for me. Give it to me when you come home.”

Genma’s heart fluttered at the thought of coming home to Kakashi, not just in his mind or in his dreams, but coming home to Konoha where Kakashi would be waiting for him, missing him.

He rested his forehead against Kakashi’s and nodded.

“Promise you’ll come back to me,” Kakashi breathed.

“I promise.”

Several yards away, Sasuke ignored the way his teammates were talking and laughing over Lee’s confusing and convoluted jokes. The young Uchiha was watching the way Kakashi’s body leaned into Genma’s. He could not see the Copy Nin’s face, but he could tell when he spoke because Genma’s smile would widen. Sasuke liked Genma’s smile, that smile would make Kakashi happy.

Even with his emotions hindered, Sasuke understood more than anyone how hard it was for Kakashi to be happy.

* * *

The next few days were a strange blur of forest and the back of Rock Lee’s uniform. Genma commanded his team competently and efficiently through Fire and across the border into Grass, but spent most of the time in his own head. He was aware of the trees as the shinobi leapt from branch to branch, and he noticed when the terrain started to flatten and the ground hardened into a strange and dry topography, but paid it no mind. His thoughts were far away, replaying moments he and Kakashi had shared, but he was now remembering them with new clarity, the knowledge that Kakashi had been hiding feelings for him.

At night, the special jounin lay awake, staring up into an infinite sky of stars, thinking about pale skin and silver hair. 

When they were in sight of Iwagakure, Genma reigned himself in. They had been out almost a week and he hadn’t been paying attention. He chided himself rather harshly for letting his focus wander. He was not some genin on his first real mission, but a seasoned veteran. He should know better. Thankfully, his team had ether not noticed his state, or they were kind enough to have said nothing about it. 

Thoughts of Kakashi pushed back and controlled, he conducted himself like a proper shinobi and responsible squad leader. 

That was when he started noticing things were off.

It started with simple incidents: a purposeful trip here, an ‘accidental’ flash grenade there. If Genma had been paying attention he would have stopped it sooner, but he had been preoccupied. He had not noticed it.

“Kiba, stop,” he growled.

The Inuzuka paused, his hand on the strap of the makeshift slingshot. The small pebble was pulled back and ready to be sent flying at the back of Neji’s head.

“Are you serious?”

Genma glared at him. “Yes, I’m serious. Leave him alone.”

Kiba’s hands dropped. “Just so I’m clear, you’re telling me to ease up on the biggest asshole that ever walked the face of the earth.” 

Putting a hand on Kiba’s shoulder, Genma halted. Raidou glanced at him, ready to signal a full stop, but Genma waved him on. “It’s okay, Rai, keep going.”

Raidou nodded and gave a jerk of his head for Sakura and Sai. The group continued, leaving Genma, Kiba, and Akamaru standing alone on the path between two large rock mesas. The special jounin turned to the younger man when the others were out of earshot and folded his arms over his chest.

“You’re acting like a child.”

Kiba rolled his eyes, “He deserves it.”

“What he deserves and what he doesn’t deserve is not the issue right now.”

“Hey, what’s your problem anyway?” Kiba growled, “You know what he did. You know he’s a heartless, unfeeling, bastard that only cares about himself. How long before you think—”

“You can’t let your personal issues with your teammates interfere with the mission!”

“That prick is not my teammate!”

“—Inuzuka Kiba, you are currently on a top level mission, arguing with a superior officer about harassment of a high ranking jounin. Are you gonna cut this shit out, or do you want your conduct and insubordination to go on record?”

“ _Do you know what I smell on him, senpai?_ ” Kiba barked, his hand pointing furiously to the stretch of road where their team had just disappeared over a gentle ridge, “ _Absolutely fucking nothing!_ No remorse! No pity! Not even any anger! He ruined— _fucking tore apart one of my best friends_ , and he doesn’t give a shit! And now I’m just supposed to go on a mission and call him ‘sir’ and follow his orders _like it never fucking happened?_ No disrespect, Genma-senpai, but _FUCK you_. I’ll take the disciplinary action.”

Genma stood silent, carefully watching the furious young man and his equally furious familiar snarling up at him. Kiba was still in the wrong, but he had a point. It was almost impossible to trust and rely on a comrade who had so thoroughly betrayed another. Genma still trusted Neji, but only as a ninja, and he had not taken time to really think about what that meant. 

“Kiba,” he said softly, soothing, “Kiba, I understand your frustration.”

The Inuzuka said nothing, and his stance did not change, but his lips relaxed over his sharp teeth. 

“Shikamaru is my friend too. I’m… there aren’t enough words to explain how pissed I am about what Neji did to him,” at this Kiba snorted, but Genma pressed on. “However, we are on a mission. Neji is your squad leader. As much as that sucks, we have a duty and an objective. We can’t let personal stuff interfere with things that could cost people lives.”

Kiba studied him for a moment, watching his superior with dark eyes. Then after a few moments, he relaxed his postured and lowered a hand to pet Akamaru behind his ears. The ninken relaxed physically, squatting to the ground and rubbing up into his best friend’s touch.

“So, you’re not actually defending him, you’re just saying I should cool it until the mission is completed.”

Genma nodded.

“So what about after the mission?”

Shrugging, Genma lifted his hands in defeat. “I don’t have any say what you do on your own time. When you get home you can tie him down and shave his head for all I care.”

Akamaru barked as Genma turned and readied himself for a leap onto the rocks.

“You’re totally right, Akamaru,” Kiba snickered, “That is a really good idea.”

A few minutes later, as the three traveled over natural rock towers and outcrops, Genma spotted Raidou waiting for them on the road, but interestingly, the rest of the team was nowhere to be seen. Landing next to his best friend, Genma looked around warily.

“What’s up? Where is everyone?”

Raidou’s face was a mixture of confusion and worry. “I’m not sure what’s going on. According to the map, we need to head northwest along this cliff if we’re going to get to Iwagakure before nightfall. But Neji said we have to go east.” As he spoke, Raidou pointed in the opposite direction from where the sun was beginning it’s decent towards the rocky hills. “I didn’t want to argue with him and Sakura seemed to know where they were going so…”

Genma frowned, “That doesn’t make any sense. I saw Iwagakure when we were up on top just now. Are they actually headed east?”

Raidou nodded. “Sasuke asked if I would stay here and point you three in the right direction.”

Shaking his head, Genma glanced again in the direction of the sun. “That’s so fucking weird, why would they go that way.”

Kiba lifted his arms and laced his fingers together behind his head. “Personally, I think considerate Uchiha is a lot weirder than that.”

“Well,” Genma sighed, “We have to catch up with them. We can’t all get separated.”

“Let’s go, Akamaru.”

The four took off down the path, following the Inuzuka’s noses. It took only ten minutes to find where the rest of their team had gone, as the group had come to a large tor and, from what Kiba told them, had climbed to the top.

After climbing what he figured was some kind of sandstone and pulling himself up to the top shelf, Genma stood and took a moment to process what he was seeing. A flat, circular area about twenty feet across had been carved into the top edge of the outcrop. Runes had been painted and etched into the stone in patterns that Genma did not recognize. Lining the outer rim were eight small pillars. 

Sai was taking note of the different runes in his book and Neji was speaking softly to Sasuke in the middle of the circle when Genma and the others arrived. When Genma finally moved past his initial shock and started to make his way into the circle, Sakura came forward and put her hands up.

“Be careful,” she said softly.

Genma and Raidou halted in their tracks. 

“Why?” Genma asked.

“The ground here is a natural chakra node. Kind of like a hot spring, but with energy instead of water. The force flowing through this rock face is some of the most powerful I’ve ever felt, so, just be careful.”

“Damn,” Raidou murmured.

Genma watched as Sasuke removed his jounin vest and uniform shirt. Sai came forward, and with what looked like instructions from Neji, started to paint runes across the Uchiha’s pale skin.

“Sakura,” Genma said softly, “What exactly is going on here?”

He had an idea, but it was so unbelievable the special jounin didn’t want to voice it aloud for fear of sounding insane.

Sakura turned her bright green eyes to him and smiled sadly.

“I’m sorry we lied to you, Genma-senpai.”

* * *

_Tuesday morning._

“What’s going on, Shikamaru?” Iruka asked gently. “What did you find out?”

“I…” Shikmaru’s words caught and he swallowed hard. “I thought I knew. I thought I knew him but I didn’t. I was so wrong. I’m such a fucking idiot.”

“What?” Kakashi asked.

“Neji,” Shikamaru whispered, “he—he doesn’t hate me. I fucked up. He was trying to fix it. It’s all my fault.”

Kakashi pushed himself off the desk and stood. The Nara’s body was sagging, like he was going to collapse at any moment. The Copy Nin moved across the office and caught the younger man just as his legs gave way. He helped Shikamaru back towards the desk and lowered him to one of the chairs across from where Naruto usually sat.

“You’re probably starving, “Iruka said. “Naruto, you still have those muffins in your pack?”

“No,” Naruto made a face, “You think sweets last more than ten minutes on my person?”

“I’m not hungry,” Shikamaru leaned his elbow on the arm of the chair and rested his forehead in his palm. “Can I just have some water?”

Kakashi poured a glass from the pitcher by the window and handed it to him.

“What’s going on?” he asked as the young Nara swallowed greedily.

“He read the file,” Iruka said softly.

Kakashi turned to his friend, confusion pulling at every corner of his brain. “What file? What are we talking about?”

Naruto raised his hands in a helpless gesture. “Like Iruka said, we’re sealed. We can’t talk about it—not that I really know a lot anyway. I just signed the paperwork and felt really shitty about it.”

Iruka nodded beside him. “If we had known what was wrong we could have helped sooner.”

“Like two years ago sooner,” Naruto mumbled.

Kakashi looked down at Shikamaru, who was now staring blankly into the empty glass, and then back up to Iruka and his Hokage.

“Okay, someone better tell me what’s going on right now,” he said, his voice dropping. “I’m starting to get a little pissed off.”

“Sasuke’s seal,” Shikamaru said.

Kakashi’s head whipped back around so fast he felt his neck crack. “What about it?”

Shikamaru’s lip trembled as he ran a hand over his partially disheveled hair. There were no tears, but the Nara’s voice wavered as he spoke so softly, Kakashi could barely hear him.

“He did it to himself, because of what I did to him. He volunteered because he thought that way he could make it right.”

Exasperated, Kakashi knelt down in front of Shikamaru and laced his fingers together over his mask.

“Shikamaru, what the hell are you talking about? What does all this have to do with Sasuke’s seal?”

Shikamaru’s eyes lifted and pierced Kakashi’s with so much pain it was crippling.

“Neji _is_ the seal.”

* * *

“What do you mean ‘he is the seal’?” Genma asked.

Sakura led Genma past the pillars and over to where Sai was helping Sasuke to lie down in the center of the circle. Neji had moved to kneel at Sasuke’s head, directly below a set of runes that looked identical to the ones painted on Sasuke’s chest.

“It’s difficult to explain,” she said.

“Try me,” Genma growled.

“I don’t really understand how it works, but as it’s done now, in order to successfully inhibit all emotion in a person’s brain, there has to be a secondary frame, like a backup. Neji’s mind is working like a storage unit for the suppressed emotions. He stores them all, Sasuke’s and his own, and keeps them locked away until the seal is removed. The missions he’s been going on, all these back to back weeks of being away from the village, have been him looking for natural chakra nodes like this one. He found several but they weren’t powerful enough.”

“Enough to break the seal, I’m assuming?” 

Sakura nodded. “Because he does not have the approval of the counsel, and because Hinata is gone on a diplomatic mission, there is no other Hyūga to assist him. Neji knew he needed a source of powerful chakra to syphon from otherwise, he could kill himself and Sasuke trying to undo it all.”

The implications of what Sakura was saying flashed through Genma’s head at light speed. When things started clicking into place, his heart gave a lurch of pain at his conclusion.

“So, wait,” he murmured, “are you saying that because Neji is the backup, and he’s holding all the emotions for Sasuke and himself, does that mean that he’s also completely suppressed? Emotionless, like Sasuke?”

Sakura nodded, not looking at him.

Genma let out a breath and turned to Raidou. The scarred man ran a hand over his face and turned away, shaking his head.

“You know, there are certain people who could have really benefitted from knowing these things. You could have saved a certain person a whole lot of pain if you had told him.”

Sakura’s face turned dark as she turned to Genma. “I only learned about all this until the day before the mission. I didn’t know.”

“I did not know either,” Lee’s voice was uncharacteristically quiet as he moved to stand beside Sakura. “It seems everyone who was part of the jutsu was sealed up along with it. They could not say anything.”

“Then how did you all find out?” Raidou asked.

“Iruka-sensei must have found a loophole because he kept telling us about this file in the restricted section of Records. He didn’t tell us anything about it, just the number. Sai and I went in and made a copy.”

Kiba appeared beside Genma, his face grave and his voice quiet. “Does Shikamaru know?”

Sakura shrugged, “He didn’t before, but he should by now.”

“Hey,” Sai interrupted, “we are ready for you, Genma-san.”

Startled, Genma almost took a step back. “What? Why me? What the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Your knowledge and understanding of tenketsu nodes is almost as good as a Hyūga’s. We need that knowledge and we need your skills with senbon.”

Turning to Raidou, Genma put his hands on his hips and let out a harsh breath. His friend looked at him, his eyes steady, supporting, everything that Raidou had always been and always would be. That look of trust and complete friendship strengthened Genma’s resolve and he sighed. 

“Can you believe this shit?” he growled.

Raidou smiled softly, “Fucking kids.”

Genma turned back around and reached for his tool kit.

“All right, what do you need me to do?”

It was not actually that complicated. As Sai explained where they needed the flow directed and for how long, Genma began to understand the basics of what they were doing. He would never understand the seal itself, but the power and the power flow behind it were right up his ally. He had gotten many a rogue shinobi to give up information with similar procedures.

He wasn’t sure what that said about this jutsu exactly but that was something he would ponder at a later time.

Sasuke looked up at him with dark, dull eyes when Genma knelt at his side. 

“I thank you for this, Genma-san,” he said quietly.

Genma shook his head, “Don’t thank me just yet. This will probably hurt a lot.”

“It will be worth it.”

Genma’s eyes rose to look at Neji, who was kneeling inches from where Sasuke’s hair was spread out across the stone. His eyes were that milky grey-white of the Hyūga clan, his hair long and thick over his shoulders. His skin was pale and smooth, perfectly unblemished. He was beautiful, perfect in physique and form. Only his expression was wrong. It was not so obvious, if one did not know about the suppression it would be impossible to tell, but Genma could see it now. There was an unnatural stillness, a lack of anything human behind those eyes. They were cold and dead. Unimaginably empty. 

Genma thought about what it must have been like to be Shikamaru and look into those eyes. To love this man with all of his heart, but see nothing looking back at him when the Nara desperately needed it.

But then, it was so much worse even than that. 

“Neji,” he said softly.

“Yes,” the Hyūga answered.

“I’m so sorry.”

The lines of Neji’s forehead, just below his hitai-ate, furrowed. Not in confusion, merely from the strain of processing incomprehensible emotion.

“Do not apologize to me, Genma-san,” Neji said, “I do not care.”

Genma’s heart stung and he smiled softly, sadly. 

“You will.”

It took almost three hours. Three hours of straining, fighting against Sasuke’s thrashing body. Sakura and Lee held him down while Genma blocked tenketsu nodes with his senbon, directing the flow of chakra to pool where Neji needed it. The special jounin could feel the power in the ground, he felt the rumble of the chakra being manipulated by the runes Sai drew on the stone. Raidou, Kiba, and Akamaru defended the outcrop against the animals that were drawn towards the power. Bears and mountain lions came in large numbers, attracted by the outpouring of natural energy.

Sasuke screamed like he was being torn apart, and maybe he was. Neji’s hands dug into his sides, his neck, bruised the flesh of his chest. Tears ran down Sakura’s cheeks as she held him down, whimpered softly every time her best friend’s cries ripped across the evening sky.

Genma’s hands were covered in blood. At first, he had thought it was Sasuke’s from all the piercing of the senbon into his skin. But as the hours ticked by, he realized that it was Neji’s. The bandages on the Hyuga’s fingers were shredded, his flesh was raw and bleeding from clawing against the seal, pulling it apart piece by agonizing piece. 

Finally, sometime after the sun had disappeared behind the mountains, Neji placed a hand over Sasuke’s chest and ordered Genma to remove all of his senbon. The tokujō obeyed, and at the insistence of Sakura, everyone but Neji came away from Sasuke, leaving the two alone in the center of the circle.

“Breath, Sasuke,” Neji said, his voice punctuated by his fatigue. “I am releasing the seal… now.”

Neji’s hand came away from Sasuke’s chest. There was a feeling of an explosion, like an explosive tag going off in the distance. The ground shook one last time, and a flash of bright light erupted from Sasuke’s body and shot out in all directions. It blew through Genma and the others like they were not there, and then disappeared into the night.

Then there was nothing.

No one moved for a few moments, but finally Sakura went carefully to Sasuke’s side and knelt beside her friend.

“Sasuke?” she whispered. “Sasuke, can you hear me?”

Sasuke took a breath, spread his hands out against the stone underneath him and opened his eyes slowly.

“Sakura…” he murmured.

“Are you okay?” she said again, wiping at her eyes. Sai joined her and knelt next to his teammate.

“Do you… feel anything?” Sai asked.

Sasuke lay there, blinking up at the starry sky, eyes wide. His lips fell open as many different things started to play out across his face. “There’s a lot…” he said, and his voice caught on nothing. “I don’t… I’m not sure…” tears slid down his temples. Sakura leaned over him, feeling for his pulse.

“But you’re all right?” she asked.

Nodding, Sasuke reached for her hand. She took it, gripped it hard.

“Yeah, I think so.”

Genma smiled and wiped sweat from his face and neck. He was exhausted, but they had succeeded. Kakashi would be ecstatic when they returned. His charge was whole again and was free to feel the affection and love from his family. And, most importantly, he would finally be able to return it.

Content, drowsy, and satisfied, Genma was not prepared for the quiet intensity of Lee tugging furiously on his arm.

“Woa, woa, Lee-kun,” he said, “calm down, what’s wrong?”

Lee whispered to him in that way Guy whispered, which was not a whisper at all.

“I cannot find Neji!”

Genma was not entirely sure why, but for whatever reason, instinct perhaps, cold, hard dread dropped into his gut and in the midst of his exhaustion he nearly panicked.

“Don’t draw too much attention,” Genma said softly. “I don’t see him, so he’s obviously not up here. Take this side, climb down and see if he’s on the ground somewhere below. I’ll take the other side.”

“Roger!”

Moving swiftly, but not enough to attract attention, Genma went to the opposite end of the tor and climbed down the side of the outcropping. Rocks and pebbles slid from underneath his feet, but he managed to make it to the bottom without making too much noise.

“Neji!” he called out. “Neji, where are you!”

Surprisingly, it didn’t take long to find the jounin. Neji was only a few yards away, kneeling in the grass around the side of another small rock mesa. He was doubled over, coughing, retching onto the ground. Genma slowed, eyeing the blood smeared into the grass, shining black in the darkness of the early evening.

“Neji,” he moved closer.

“I’m fine.”

“But you’re—”

“I said _I’m fine!_ ” the Hyūga straightened, slowly pulled himself to his feet, and wiped at his mouth with the back of his bloody hand.

“I don’t want your help. I don’t need anyone’s help. Just leave me alone.”

Anger simmered underneath Genma’s cool exterior. He had just come from three hours of agony, torturing his lover’s charge, working himself close to exhaustion, and this was how he was treated in return?

“Look,” he said quietly, “I understand you have your Hyūga pride, but you should probably have Sakura take a look at you. You’re bleeding and your chakra’s probably depleted. You need medical attention in case—”

“—Don’t tell me what I need, Tokubetsu. I will see the medic when I need to see the medic. Right now I need to be alone.”

Despite the condescending way Neji spoke to him, and the anger that started to boil just beneath the surface, Genma realized that Neji had just gone through almost exactly what Sasuke had just gone through. He had been storing away emotions for two people for more than a year and now suddenly they were all back. If all feeling had come back all at once, there was no way it was not completely overwhelming. 

“I mean no disrespect,” Genma said, “but you’ve just been through a pretty traumatic event. Don’t you think you should—”

“What part of ‘I need to be alone’ don’t you understand?” Neji snarled. “Get away from me. You are the last person on this _entire fucking planet_ that I want to see right now.”

Stunned, Genma’s anger melted away into utter confusion. Neji was angry with him? 

“Do you have a problem with me?”

Neji turned on him, he moved close, his eyes cloudy and terrifying in the twilight. “YES! I have a problem with you!”

“What the fuck did I ever do to you!?”

“It’s not what you did, it’s what you are! You disgust me!”

Rage twisted in Genma’s gut and rose into his chest. Who the hell did Neji think he was talking to? What the hell was his problem?

“You may technically be my superior, Hyūga, but you are more than ten years my junior and I _will not_ tolerate such disrespect!”

“You’re going to talk to me about respect!? That’s fucking rich!” Neji’s voice shook as reached up to pull the wraps from his arms. He yanked at the fabric, tearing the bloody strips from his skin in violent, jerking movements. “You just take whatever you want! Have whoever you want without any thought to who you might be hurting! You make me sick! You and all you’re group! You all just fuck around with each other! You don’t care about anyone else! You don’t care!”

Slowly, the pieces began to fall into place. 

“Neji… what are you talking about?”

“What do you think I’m talking about!?”

There was a desperation in Neji’s posture that made Genma hesitate, a hopelessness in the young Hyūga’s voice that Genma himself knew all too well. It cut at the tokujō’s heart, knowing that feeling and being a part of what was causing it in someone else.

“Are you talking about me and Shikamaru?”

Some of the anger and unchecked rage that Neji seemed to be so caught up in started to slip away. The hard lines between his thin eyebrows softened. The tension in his body, in his shoulders, loosened and he turned away as if embarrassed. 

“He was with you,” he said softly, his voice strained. “I came back from the mission and he was in your home, sleeping in your bed.”

Shit. “No, Neji, it’s not what you think—”

“—Do you love him?”

Running his hands over his face, Genma tried to calm his racing heart. How had this happened? How had this situation gotten so completely and utterly screwed up?

“I care about Shikamaru as a friend, yes, as a comrade. Not as…”

He trailed off as Neji turned back to look at him. “Does he love you?” 

“No! Bloody hell, Neji, he loves _you!_ ” 

“He hates me.”

Confusion pulled at every part of Genma’s mind. Shikamaru was stupid over Neji, everyone who knew him knew that. How could Neji be so blind? What was actually going on? Finally hearing things from Neji’s perspective made Genma realize that maybe there was something pertinent to the story that he was missing. 

“Why do you say that?”

His heart gave a soft pang as Neji’s face pinched slightly and tears started to slip from those lovely gray-white eyes. The young jounin looked up into Genma’s face and the pain the tokujō found there was so familiar it stopped his breath.

“Because he's angry with me,” Neji murmured through his tears. “He has always been angry and disappointed in me.”

“No,” Genma murmured, “that can’t be. Why do you believe that?”

“Because it’s true,” Neji’s face went slack, even if the tears continued to stream down his face. He spoke in a voice that was so quiet, so anguished, that Genma had to come within inches of Neji’s lips to hear it.

“We were together, our first time after months—years of dancing around it. For so long we were like pieces on a shogi board. Our paths were already planned and our lines were inevitably going to cross, but we took our time and savored the game. For several weeks it was perfect, I finally had something in my life that was just mine. 

But then I was tasked to create the suppression jutsu. It took me weeks but I completed it, and when Shikamaru found out, he was furious. He said it went against everything I was trying to fight, everything that I stood against in my clan. I tried to explain but he wouldn’t listen to me. And then he left.

He was gone for weeks. I didn’t know if he was ever coming back and so I continued with the preparations. The night before Sasuke’s sealing was planned, I heard he was back. I went to the ramen stand where he had met with Chouji. I was going to interrupt, take him somewhere quiet and explain the jutsu and the sealing…”

Neji took a shuddering breath. The tears had ceased, but his face was so full of pain and despair that Genma almost couldn’t bear it.

“I heard him talking,” Neji’s voice was haggard, his breath hitching as he tried to speak. “He had been in Suna.”

“What’s in Suna?” Genma asked gently.

“Gaara,” Neji said flatly. “He had gone back to Gaara because he was done with me. He was disappointed in me and angry because he thought I was doing the very thing that my clan had done to me, only worse. I was a hypocrite in his eyes.

I wanted to make him understand, but I was also hurt, and so I left. I didn’t speak to him before the sealing, and then after that, I didn’t care anymore.”

Genma watched as Neji’s body started to sag. The young Hyūga leaned against him as exhaustion began to overtake the side effects of the jutsu’s release.

“What did you want to make Shikamaru understand?” Genma asked.

Neji coughed and spit blood into the grass before he continued. “I wanted to tell him that I created the jutsu with a failsafe, that it could be undone if I was the backup and I had a second. We could undo the seal and keep it a secret from the counsel. But I’m assuming my family anticipated that because Hinata has been on a diplomatic mission for almost two years now. I had also not anticipated that everyone involved would be sealed into silence.

…I had no way of telling him.”

“Neji, you know that Shikamaru will understand,” Genma said softly.

“No,” grief welled up in Neji’s pale eyes, “I’ve been cruel to him. He said that he never wants to see me again.”

“You’re wrong,” Genma said, and took Neji by the shoulders. He pulled the younger man close and willed the Hyūga to meet his eyes. “You are so wrong. Shikamaru loves you more than life itself. He’s an absolute fucking mess over you.”

Neji shook his head. “I don’t believe y—”

“NEJI, GENMA-SAN!”

Turning from the Hyūga, Genma met with the impossibly wide eyes of Rock Lee. The young jounin was panting, his face shining with a thin layer of sweat.

“The emissaries from Iwagakure that Sakura sent for have come! I met with them a few miles down the road! They are filled with such vigor and were very enthusiastic about getting their message to us!”

Neji straightened next to Genma and ran the back of his bloody hand across his cheeks, “And?”

“It seems our mission timeframe has moved up! There is movement to the north and Rock’s squads are meeting with us in one hour! They gave us coordinates!”

“Good work,” Neji replied. “Make sure Sai erases the extra sigils. I’ll check on Sasuke and make sure—”

“WAIT!” Lee held up a hand as if signaling for a halt.

“What?”

“Are you…” Lee swallowed, and for a moment he seemed unsure. “I heard you speaking to Genma-san and I did not want to interrupt, because you have told me one-hundred and twelve times to not interrupt when you are having serious conversations. But I wanted to know if you were okay.”

“Yes, Lee,” Neji sighed, “I’m fine now.” 

Lee studied his friend carefully, his head cocking to the side, very birdlike, before he straightened, and then did the same movement again on the opposite side.

Genma watched, caught somewhere between amusement and complete awe. The way the two interacted was almost identical to the times he had seen Kakashi and Guy speak to each other. The friendship between the two young jounin was unique, but so genuine that it was practically flawless. They were opposites but complimented each other in many ways. It was wonderful to see that Neji had someone like that.

Beside him, Neji sighed again, “What is it, Lee?”

Lee straightened. “I was just observing. Are you sure you are all right?”

“Oh my fucking…” the Hyūga made a growling noise and then barked, “Yes!”

To Genma’s surprise, or maybe not, Lee smiled wide.

“It is good to have you back, my friend. Let’s go!”

With that, Lee dashed away in a blur of orange and green, while Genma and Neji were left regarding the spot he had just vacated.

“Don’t say anything,” Neji said, his face deadpan.

“I wasn’t going to.”

When Neji readied himself to leap up to the top shelf of the rock formations, Genma reached out and gently placed a hand on the younger man’s bloody wrist.

“You know you’re going to have to tell Shikamaru everything.”

For several long moments, Neji merely stood. The after effects of the jutsu had worn off and now he was back in control and in check. On the outside, it was almost like he was back under. He was as still as the mesas surrounding them; as serene and calm on the surface as an untouched pool of water. However, now when Genma looked into those eyes, there was no longer nothingness. There was a wealth of pride and strength and feeling just behind that veil of milky-grey. 

Genma understood now. He understood that there were storms of emotion hidden beneath that cool exterior. Hidden behind a mask. 

Finally, Neji’s pale eyes slid over to Genma and he nodded.

“I’ll talk to him when we get home.”

Satisfied, Genma let him go, watched him jump to the top of the tallest arch, and then followed.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, folks. This is the end. Of this fic I mean. It's taken seven years and two months, (I can't believe there are people out there that have been reading my crap for that long) a lot of frustration, sometimes tears, and a lot of laughing at my own jokes.
> 
> I want to thank everyone who kept messaging me, prodding me, poking me, or just taking the time to remind me that this story was still out there and unfinished. It was rough for a while with certain characters dying in the canon, and also with the canon ending. I couldn't make myself sit down and work on this, it was too emotional. But thank you all again anyway, you got me through it. You helped me to finish. I couldn't ask for better readers.
> 
> I'm sure there's a ton of typos, please ignore, or shoot me a message if you're so inclined. Other than that, please enjoy this final chapter.

It did not go as planned. Nothing went as planned.

Genma was not sure if it was the faulty information, the staggering lack of preparation as a result, or just the simple fact that his team was outnumbered eight to one that had gotten them into this particular mess. Whatever the reasons, they were irrelevant now.

He had lost communication with Neji’s team about twenty minutes ago. Raidou and Kiba were badly injured, and Akamaru was nowhere to be found.

“Genma-san,” Lee not-whispered as they rounded another corner. The young man had Kiba’s bleeding body thrown over his shoulder but he didn’t seem to be hindered in the slightest. “I try to have a positive outlook on everything, so when I ask this, please don’t think I am trying to be discouraging.” 

“Oh my God, Lee, out with it.”

“Because we have lost communications with everyone, how will we know when to coordinate flanking maneuvers? And for that matter, if we cannot communicate, how do we even know if they are still here?”

A kunai whizzed by Genma’s ear and the special jounin flinched backward.

“Well, Lee, it’s simple,” Genma sighed, “We don’t.”

* * *

“I’ve got a bad feeling,” Kakashi murmured into his soup.

Iruka grunted as he slurped noodles from his bowl but other than that he made no indication he had even heard Kakashi’s words.

The two shinobi had stopped by Ichiraku on the way home from the office. At first Kakashi had figured it was because he had been pacing and fretting in the coolest way, being the perfect combination of distracting and adorable, enough that Iruka had felt sorry for him and decided to treat him. However, now he figured it was simply because Iruka had been hungry.

Sasuke’s team had been gone for two weeks, and they were not due back for another two. There was no reason for Kakashi to feel as uneasy as he did, but he could not make himself relax. He knew it was unprofessional of him, but it was impossible not to be at least a little worried when the stakes were so high. The unsealing ritual Shikamaru had talked them through sounded extremely dangerous, not to mention painful and terrifying. And then there was the fact that even if they made it through that ordeal, there was still the S-class mission to complete.

How exactly was Kakashi supposed to maintain his daily life when the two people he loved most in the world were in such peril?

That thought set loose an entirely separate wave of trepidation in Kakashi and he leaned into his noodles to hide the sudden shift in emotion.

Yes, that was right, he had told Genma he loved him. He had said it, and Genma had seemed okay with it. But what did that mean, exactly? _How_ cool about it was he? Genma was cool with practically everything so, was he _just_ cool, or was there something more? Did he feel the same? Was it stupid that Kakashi had blurted that out right before a mission? Should he have not said anything?

What was going to happen when Genma got back? Oh, god, _if_ he came back.

“Okay,” Iruka said softly at his side, “Kakashi, you’re going to have to calm down or I might punch you.”

“Right here in the restaurant?” Kakashi pouted.

“I’m sure they’re used to it.”

“Iruka-sensei, you’re so mean.”

Sighing, and using his napkin to dab at the corners of his mouth, Iruka finally turned and looked at him.

“You know, my former students won’t stop calling me that, and I’m beginning to believe that it’s your fault.”

Kakashi’s mouth widened into a smile behind his mask. “You think everything is my fault. _Sensei_.”

“That’s because it usually is.”

The two shared a quiet chuckle before Kakashi buckled and finished off the rest of his ramen. He wasn’t hungry, not in the slightest, but he knew that if he left anything in his bowl, Iruka would pester him until there wasn’t.

“Worrying isn’t going to help anything,” Iruka said, “You need to find something to do to get your mind off it.”

“Yes,” Kakashi sat up straight, “that’s a great idea. A mission sounds like the perfect thing. I know this one that’s west of Iwagakure right now. I’ll head out as a backup; I could be there in a few da—”

“No.”

Iruka’s voice was not harsh, but the finality in it was obvious.

Kakashi backed down easily, he had only been half serious anyway. He knew Sasuke and Genma were two of the best, and they were with an amazing team. He trusted and believed in them enough to know that if anyone could get things done, it was them.

* * *

There was blackness all around him. His head hurt. What had happened? Had someone hit him? Cold stone touched the side of his face and he was lying in something wet. Genma hoped it was water and not blood. Even urine would be better than blood. He had woken up in his own blood before and it had felt terribly similar to this. He pushed himself up on his hands and pain shot up his side like chakra burning through his flesh. He had been hit, possibly stabbed. Where was Lee? Where was everyone?

“You probably shouldn’t move, unless you want to die faster.”

Genma froze. He didn’t know that voice.

“Where am I?” he asked. “Who are you?”

“Well, to be frank, this is the place you’re going to die, and I’m the one that’s going to kill you.”

Genma pulled himself up and turned to sit, holding his side where the pain was most intense. He carefully probed and found a deep gash just below his ribs. He glanced around the dark room and made out a few familiar figures but he couldn’t determine their status. Damn, his teammates could be dead but he couldn’t tell. He needed to stall.

“Wow,” he chuckled against the pain, “so forward, and this is only our first date.”

The voice seemed to find him amusing. A laugh echoed through the room, bouncing off walls, giving Genma a clearer idea of how big the space actually was. He counted six prisoners other than himself. Four were on the floor near him, the other two were hanging from the ceiling in cuffs.

_Neji… Sakura…_ The young Hyuga was lifeless, naked from the waist up, bleeding from cuts across his face and chest. Sakura’s hair hung in dark, heavy clumps, and her body was restrained by another set of chains. The others were in similar states, except for Kiba, Genma could not tell if he was breathing.

“What do you want?” Genma asked.

“Oh, I don’t really want anything from you,” the voice said, “We are moving operations from this location now that we’ve been discovered. When your people finally find out what happened to you, we’ll be so far gone you’ll never find us again.”

Genma winced as another wave of pain rocketed through his side. “How did you know we were coming? You must have a spy, there’s no way you could have gotten the intel otherwise.”

Another laugh, “Not a spy really, just someone easily bribed. He was already in trouble anyway, third strike. You know how easy it is to get someone into your mission desk rotation?”

Genma filed that away and tried to stem the bleeding from his wound.

“You gonna talk me to death or did you have something sexier in mind?”

“Oh, definitely something sexier.” Footsteps, and a figure emerged from the darkest corner of the room. He carried a long, slim, dagger in his hand and flipped it gracefully between his fingers.

“I’m going to have you watch while I kill your friends… Except maybe this pretty one,” he put the tip to Neji’s chin, “I think he’s already dead.”

Genma held his breath.

* * *

“Mirai, seriously, do you want me to show you this or not?”

“Kakashi-san,” the young Sarutobi made a face, “no offence, but you suck at this game.”

Kakashi looked at the board, and then incredulously at the little girl in front of him. “I do not suck at this game, you just play with Shikamaru all the time so your standards are ridiculous.”

“I don’t know,” Shikamaru said from the kitchen, “I’m not actually that good at hanafuda. You could actually suck.”

“Okay, enough talk about sucking,” Kurenai laughed, “it’s time to eat.”

Dinner was delicious, and Kakashi enjoyed most of it listening to the way Shikamaru and Mirai spoke to each other. It reminded him of the way Naruto spoke to Konohamaru when he didn’t think anyone was listening.

Afterwards, Mirai washed the dishes so her mother could relax and Kakashi joined Shikamaru outside. The young Nara lit a cigarette, but didn’t smoke it. He just stood, holding the stick between his fingers, staring into the flame.

“How are you holding up?” Kakashi asked.

Shikamaru said nothing for a few moments, and then he finally took a drag.

“I’ve got a really bad feeling.”

Kakashi sighed and looked out over the sea of rooftops. That cold dread in the pit of his stomach started to twist.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

* * *

There was a scream from outside, or perhaps upstairs? Genma couldn’t tell what kind of structure they were in. The first floor of a large building? The basement of a house? His head was getting a little fuzzy. There was no way he wasn’t dangerously close to bleeding out any minute.

The figure with the knife to Neji’s throat turned at the sound. He seemed surprised.

Another shout sounded from somewhere above, but it was cut off and quickly followed by a heavy thud. Genma assumed that was a body dropping. It was the most likely scenario.

“What the hell?” the figure murmured.

“Oh,” Genma snickered groggily, “seems whoever you’re with has discovered third squad.”

The figure whirled around to face him. “Third? There is no third! You were supposed to have seven shinobi and one ninken! There was no other group!”

Genma made a face as he shifted his body, “Well, you’re right and you’re wrong. There is no other group, yes, but we do have a third squad.”

“What!? What the hell does that mean!?” the figure moved to the door and peered out through the tiny window. The hand that held the dagger was trembling.

Placing one arm on the ground, Genma started to laugh. It hurt, but he needed the disorientation it would cause.

“Shut up!” the figure screamed at him, “Shut up!” He was fast, definitely jounin level, at the very least. He grabbed Genma by the collar and jerked him up to his eye level. He was young, maybe younger than Iruka, with a handsome face but with cold, brutal eyes.

“I’ll fucking kill you before they get here!”

The door burst open and several people, all of them shinobi, burst through.

“Tai! What’s going on!?—”

“—You said we had them all!—”

“—He let the damned dog out! What the hell is happening!?—”

Genma laughed in the man’s face. Those terrible eyes ignored his comrades as he brought the dagger to Genma’s throat.

“How many are in your third squad?” he whispered.

Grinning, Genma replied, “Just one. And let me tell you, friend, you are _fucked_.”

He got his feet set underneath him and twisted. Genma’s side exploded with pain, he could feel what was still intact, rip apart as he slammed his knee up and under the man’s ribs. When his collar was released, he lashed out. The knuckles of his pointer and middle fingers easily crushed the man’s larynx.

They both fell to the floor. Genma’s hands returned to his side in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding and the man with the dagger lay on his back, struggling to breathe.

No one else had time to react. Sasuke was at the door.

The Uchiha took out three before Genma could even roll to his uninjured side. The fourth tried to flee, but Akamaru was waiting and took his legs out from underneath him.

There were screams, and a little gurgling, but Genma lost interest as he felt himself fading. He fell back and welcomed the darkness that surrounded him.

* * *

“Maybe you just haven’t had enough to drink, my esteemed rival!”

“Guy, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, I really do,” Kakashi stared down into his half-empty glass, “but I’m just not into it. And the fact that you won’t drink with me is making it even less appealing.”

“All right!” Guy exclaimed. “Then how about a challenge! We can—”

“—No, I don’t think so.”

When Guy was silent for a moment, Kakashi had to look up and check if he was still there. Not a lot got the man to calm down when he was on a mission, and tonight’s “mission” was apparently: Make Kakashi Feel Better.

It turned out the man had not moved from the stool next to Kakashi, so the Copy Nin went back to nursing whatever it was Guy had ordered, and tried not to chuckle at how intense his friend got when he was thinking really hard.

“What if we went back to my house!?” Guy said suddenly, startling Kakashi enough to spill a few drops over his hand.

“Why would we do that?” Kakashi asked disinterestedly.

“Because I may have been going about this all wrong,” Guy explained. “You, Kakashi, my most awesome friend, are trying to forget someone that you care very deeply for, and I have been trying to help, because that it was the greatest of friends and rivals do.”

“Get to the point, Guy.”

“Kakashi, I believe that the answer to your heartache is not in forgetting, but in remembering.”

Maybe he was more drunk than he thought because Guy’s logic was not making any sense—not that it ever did, but go figure. Kakashi knocked back the rest of his drink and turned to meet Guy’s excited face.

“I need you to explain, because now I’m unhappy _and_ confused.”

Guy stood, and with a flourish, paid the tab and reached out a hand for Kakashi to take.

“Come with me, and I will show you old photos of when Genma-san was a cool and hip genin!”  
Kakashi’s eyes widened and the little butterflies in his stomach woke up and started to flutter.

“Wait, what?”

* * *

“…ma… Come on Genma, look at me.”

His head spun and the ground tilted, but Genma blinked away the inky darkness in front of his eyes until he could make out the blurry lines of a face.

“S… Sasuke?”

“Genma, you’ve got to stay awake while Sakura does this. It’s going to be painful but you need to not pass out again.”

That was going to be hard, his vision was already clouding over again. Blackness was seeping in from every side. He glanced down and watched as Sakura leaned over him and started to press something into his side. It was green, and glowing, and extremely uncomfortable.

“Ah shit,” he gasped.

“That’s it,” Sasuke murmured, “focus.”

The pain brought his senses back and he remembered the conversation with their captor.

“Oh! Sasuke, listen!” He grabbed the younger man’s arm and pulled him close.

“Don’t move!” Sakura barked.

“Sasuke,” Genma panted, “there’s a traitor. Someone in the mission desk rotation. On his third strike… he passed the information to… these guys.”

The pain was lessening, but so was Genma’s ability to keep his eyes open. It was just no use; he had lost too much blood. He felt himself slipping again.

“God damnit, Genma,” Sasuke growled, but it sounded like it was far away.

“Sasuke…” Genma spoke softly. He wanted to shout, try and reach his teammate wherever he was. “Sasuke, tell Kakashi—”

“—Shut up, old man,” Sasuke said, “I don’t wanna hear it. Tell him yourself.”

The last thing Genma thought before slipping back into that darkness was how much he wished he could see Kakashi one last time.

* * *

It was almost as if Kakashi had been expecting it.

When the chunin opened the door to the Hogake’s office, Kakashi felt like he already knew what the young girl was going to say. He felt it in his bones, in his heart. He had known his entire life. He had known this day was coming before he was even born.

“Sir! At the western border! We have returning shinobi and some are seriously injured!”

Naruto shot to his feet. “Are the medics on their way? Get someone to tell Shikamaru but _escort_ him! Iruka-san! I need you to please…”

Kakashi didn’t hear the rest, he was already out the window headed west. If it was Neji’s team, the best thing he could do was to just get there. He could take the wounded back to the hospital faster than anyone. He could keep them alive if he needed to. Besides he needed to know. He needed to _know now_.

When he found them, he wasn’t sure how to react. He had seen this sort of thing play out in some of his worst nightmares, and some part of him knew this was a part of being a shinobi, but he was not ready for it. Not at all.

Sasuke was all right, that was for sure. That in itself was an immense relief, but there was so much blood and so many people were being carried, at first Kakashi wasn’t even sure what he was looking at.

He flew to Sasuke’s side and took Sai from his shaking arms. “You all right?” he asked.

Sasuke’s eyes were dull with fatigue, and his body hung limp and trembling, but he managed to nod and motioned to Lee.

Genma turned and almost wept with another powerful wave of relief. Lee had Genma draped over his back. The special jounin was unconscious and heavily bandaged, but his color was good, and Kakashi could actually feel his chakra signature. It was faint, but it was there.

Kakashi helped unload the wounded from shoulders and assisted as Sakura laid them down for treatment when the med nin arrived. Raidou, Genma, and Sai had serious injuries, while Kiba, Sakura, and Lee had come out with only a dislocated shoulder, a concussion or two, and a few cuts that would definitely need stitches.

Kiba slid from Akamaru’s back and limped over to Kakashi as he knelt beside Sai.

“Kakashi-san,” he said softly.

Kakashi looked up and froze at the sight of tears in Kiba’s eyes.

“Oh shit, Kiba, what is it?”

“Um…” Kiba’s lips trembled and he motioned for Kakashi to follow him.

Kakashi’s heart stopped when he saw.

Akamaru wore a harness, and attached was a stretcher carrying Neji’s broken body. The Hyuga was battered beyond mere battle wounds. It was obvious he had been tortured. He was bandaged, but his wounds were so severe, even a talented med nin like Sakura did not have enough chakra to repair all the damage.

As Kakashi reached out, searching for a signature, a heartbeat, anything, he heard the med nins approaching. He looked up at Kiba, his eyes wide.

“Shikamaru…”

Kiba flinched and the two turned to search the group of incoming nin. Kakashi spotted him first and was at his side before Shikamaru could get close. He put a hand on the young man’s chest to stop him.

“Hang back,” he said softly, “you don’t need to see this.”

Shikamaru’s jaw clenched hard but he remained stoic.

“Are they all here?”

Kakashi nodded.

Dark eyes flashed and the Nara swallowed thickly.

“Is he dead?”

“I don’t think so.”

Sagging, Shikamaru took a few breaths before he centered himself. “Let me go, Kakashi. I have a job to do.”

Reluctantly, Kakashi dropped his hand and let the younger man pass. If there was one thing Shikamaru was, it was professional. Tactical. He would go for a debrief from Sakura first and get the facts. He would keep his emotions in check until it was okay to release them.

Something Kakashi was not very good at anymore.

Turning around, the Copy Nin returned to Genma’s side. “How is he?”

The medic nin looked at him with bright blue eyes and she nodded. “It’s bad, but it’s nothing we can’t handle back at the hospital.”

“Good, then move.”

She stood and Kakashi took her place. He lifted Genma and threw Sasuke a meaningful look. His charge understood and nodded.

Kakashi ran.

* * *

The mission, while devastating in regards to injury, was a success. Per Sakura’s report, all missing nin involved in the slave trade ring that had not been taken care of at the base had been either rounded up by Iwa shinobi, or had disappeared, leaving their prisoners to be found or escape on their own. The counsel was confused as to why Sasuke was present but not in the official mission statements, but after Sakura’s account of how he had saved the two squads nearly single-handedly, they not only waved the infraction, but also said they would consider lifting his curfew.

There was a full inquiry into who the traitor was, but it was cut short when a chunin named Ahiko went missing. Further investigation found Ahiko had two strikes against him, and another pending before he disappeared. He also was on the roster for the mission desk. Sasuke was assigned to find this chunin and question him. Akamaru happily accompanied him, and the pair returned to Konoha with a mission report only a few hours later.

Raidou, Kiba, and Sai’s injuries were extensive but easily treatable. They, together with Sakura, were out of the hospital within a day. Lee was not quite as lucky. His concussion was more severe than on first inspection, and he had to remain under the medic’s supervision for at least a few days. Genma’s wounds were more complicated, but Tsunade managed to patch him back together.

Neji was in surgery for thirty-nine hours. It had seemed impossible that he would survive, but now there was a chance. It was not for sure yet, but there was hope.

Kakashi stayed at Genma’s bedside through it all. The tokubetsu slept through the night and all through the next day, no movement at all but a steady, rhythmic breathing that was more of a comfort to Kakashi than was practical. Once or twice, someone brought food, and the Copy Nin ate but paid little attention to what he was actually putting in his body.

Finally, as the sun started to set, Genma stirred and opened his eyes.

Kakashi’s heart sped up and he sat forward, leaning on the mattress.

“Hey…”

Genma blinked at him and a small smile tugged at his mouth. “Hey,” he murmured.

“How are you, um…” Kakashi wet his lips. Why was his mouth so dry? “How are you feeling?”

“Mm,” Genma swallowed, “thirsty, actually. Is there water anywhere?”

Kakashi reached for the glass waiting on the bedside table. “Yes, we have water here. We also have technology to help you drink it. This is called a straw.” God, what was he even saying?

Genma’s smile widened as Kakashi helped him sit up and take a few small sips. When he was back resting against the pillows, he touched his hand to his side and slowly shook his head.

“So, do me a favor and never, _never_ make Sasuke angry, okay? It’s the scariest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

Kakashi chuckled and placed the glass back on the table.

“Remember when I said he could kill me with his pinky? I was mostly joking.” Genma turned and looked at Kakashi, whispering dramatically.

“But it’s not a joke.”

Kakashi scooted forward and rested his elbows on the bed. He wanted to reach out and take Genma’s hand but he was afraid.

“I heard what you did,” he said softly. “Sakura told us you talked them down long enough for Sasuke to locate everyone.”

Genma made a noise and rolled his eyes. “Wow, that makes me sound so cool. No, I managed to run my mouth enough to almost get myself killed faster. Sasuke deserves all the credit. And Akamaru. You ever seen a dog rip off someone’s head? It’s terrifying.”

Kakashi glanced down at Genma’s hand again, trying to work up the courage to actually take it, but again, found himself too afraid. When he looked up, he found Genma’s eyes closed. Maybe he was falling back asleep?

The Copy Nin’s heart pounded in his chest; he had no idea how to handle this. He had no experience. He had told Genma that he was in love with him, so did he have to wait for Genma to make the next move? Was there even going to be a next move? Should he even be worrying about that right now? He should just be happy that Genma was alive, right? What was he even thinking? How selfish can you get?

“Kakashi…” Genma said, his voice sounded like he was drifting off.

Realizing that he hadn’t been breathing this whole time, Kakashi let out the air he had been holding in his lungs. “Yes?”

Keeping his eyes closed, Genma swallowed and ran his tongue over his lips.

“You gonna kiss me or maybe hold my hand or something? I’ve had this wounded soldier fantasy in my head for a while and it’s—”

Kakashi cut him off by sliding his arms around Genma’s chest and tucking his face into the crook of the older man’s neck. The carefully constructed dam that Kakashi had built to keep back all of his growing feelings and crushing emotions in check, broke, and the Copy Nin let out a breathy laugh against Genma’s skin. He gave the special jounin no time to recover from that before he pulled away just enough so he could kiss all over Genma’s cheeks, his nose, his chin.

“Ouch, ouch,” Genma said, but he was chuckling too. “Yeah, there we go, that’s more like it.”

They held each other for a long time, long past when the sun had set and moonlight started to fill the room. Kakashi finally pulled himself up on the bed and stretched out. He stayed tangled up in Genma’s arms, but now he could look into his eyes as well.

“Is everyone okay?” Genma asked.

Kakashi nodded. “Superficial scrapes and bruises. Lee has a concussion, but he’ll be okay.”

“And Neji?”

Kakashi sighed, “I don’t know. Last I heard he was out of surgery, but I don’t know how he’s doing.”

“Shit,” Genma murmured, “Have you talked to Shikamaru?”

Shaking his head, Kakashi scooted closer. “No, I haven’t really… left this room in a while.”

Genma scoffed and ran his fingers down Kakashi’s cheek. “Ah, that’s why you smell so bad.”

“What?” Kakashi made a face, “Okay, you wanna talk about smelling bad? Mr. I-haven’t-taken-a-bath-in-weeks-and-am-covered-in-guts-and-dog-slobber?”

“I have an excuse.”

“So do I!”

They shared another soft chuckle before the seriousness of their previous conversation returned. Kakashi took a breath and laced his fingers with Genma’s.

“I heard some interesting things about Sasuke’s seal and… how it works while you were gone.”

Genma sighed. “Yeah, I got the whole story from Neji. He was… upset doesn’t even cover the halve of it. They’re both… I don’t know.”

“When Neji gets better someone needs to just lock Shikamaru and Neji in a room together with no windows and let them figure everything out.”

Smiling slyly, Genma leaned in and bumped the bottom of Kakashi’s jaw with his nose. “Can we lock ourselves in a room together with no windows when I’m better?”

Kakashi felt himself shiver. “Yup. Absolutely.”

He felt Genma’s lips on his neck and he shivered again, but the special jounin took it no further. He merely slid an arm around Kakashi’s waist and settled in against his chest.

“I’m falling asleep,” Genma said, “sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Kakashi wrapped both his arms around Genma’s body and pressed his lips into the older man’s hair.

“Don’t leave,” Genma whispered, “Want you here… gotta tell you I love you… when I wake up.”

Kakashi’s heart swelled. There was no way it could get any better than this.

* * *

Shikamaru stood just outside the room, back far enough into the corner that anyone coming or going wouldn’t be able to see him against the shadows. He was not sure how long he had been there. Since Neji had gotten out of surgery? No, that was impossible, Neji had gotten out of surgery yesterday. There was no way he had been standing there since then. That would be crazy.

No matter how much he wanted to, he could not make himself cross the threshold. Neji’s family had come and gone, his team, nurses. The room was empty now though; the last visitor had left an hour ago. Lee had been there through most of it, faithfully by his best friend’s side.

Shikamaru took a breath, isn’t that where he should be now? No. He didn’t deserve to be at Neji’s side.

Someone was in his space. Shikamaru’s head jerked around and he was surprised to find Choji, leaning against the wall next to him, no snacks, just a small flashlight in his hand.

“Choji?” Shikamaru murmured.

“That thought you had a little bit ago, the one where you weren’t sure how long you’ve been here?”

Shikamaru’s eyes widened. He knew Choji usually knew what he was thinking, but that was ridiculous.

“What about it?”

Choji shrugged and glanced down the hallway towards the waiting room.

“Well, to answer your thought, you’ve been here a little over eighteen hours. I’m sure you haven’t eaten or slept in a couple days, but I’m also sure I won’t be able to make you eat or sleep, so I’m going to do the next best thing.”

Frowning, and not liking where this was headed, Shikamaru asked, “What’s the next best thing?”  
Choji looked at him, and turned on the flashlight.

“Aww!” Shikamaru blinked and held his hands up to shield his eyes from the sudden onslaught of light. It was such a low-blow, and completely unnecessary, as that wasn’t how his shadow manipulation jutsu worked…

…but he got the point.

“Fine. Fine!” Shikamaru batted at the flashlight until Choji clicked it off.

“I hate you sometimes.”

Choji nodded, “Good.”

Letting out a long, heavy sigh, Shikamaru turned and opened the door to Neji’s room. He muttered something about “troublesome best friends” under his breath as he made his way inside.

A curtain was drawn around the bed, and the monitor was emitting that slow, steady beeping. An intense wave of fear caught Shikamaru off guard and he stopped in his tracks. What was he doing here? He shouldn’t be here! Get out!

He forced himself to take a step, and then another. Before he could prepare himself, he had passed the curtain and was standing at the foot of Neji’s bed. He couldn’t make himself look up, he didn’t want to see him lying there, his hair spread across the pillow, just the way Shikamaru knew it would be.

He didn’t want to see Neji’s face. He didn’t deserve to see Neji’s face.

A great well of emotion surged up from the place that Shikamaru liked to hide things. It came from deep inside of him, pressing at that locked door, that failsafe the young Nara had constructed to keep himself professional when his nature came close to besting him. It was a tidal wave of love and regret, anger, and loneliness that threatened to crash into him, break him apart. He wanted to leave, he didn’t want to face this.

He almost turned away; almost made for the door. His head and all of his churning, storming emotions were already away, far away. Running.

But his heart stayed.

He knew he was a coward, but he also knew that he couldn’t run forever, and no matter what wrongs he had committed, no matter how much of what happened was his fault, no matter how much he was hated, it didn’t matter.

He still loved Neji.

“I’m sorry…” Shikamaru whispered. The words caught in his dry throat.

“I’m so sorry, Neji…”

The bed railing was there at his fingertips and he gripped it hard in both hands to steady himself. He could feel pressure behind his eyes and the ache in his chest threatened to cripple him. Tears started to slide down his cheeks but he didn’t care. No one could see him.

“Damn it…” he whispered.

He slowly moved to the chair beside the bed and slid in close. Neji’s bandaged hand was only inches away but he dare not take it. The thought of Neji waking and pulling away was too much. Shikamaru rested his elbows on the mattress and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“God damn it…”

* * *

Neji lay in a strange place. It was hollow, and dark. There was no reason or form, like a dream, but he knew he was awake. He could feel the sheets underneath his fingers; the pillow against his head. His body had hurt, but it did not anymore. Now he was merely lying in the dark, waiting for something. For what, he was not sure.

Then there was the sound of a door closing. He heard the beeping of the monitor and suddenly, violently, clarity hit him.

The mission came back all at once. The ambush, the powerful suppression jutsu, the man with the knife… Sakura bleeding and roaring threats at her captors. Genma protecting them even as his body was torn open. Kiba’s face as he had cried over Neji’s own injuries. Why had Kiba cried for him? He kept apologizing. Why had he been apologizing so intensely?

And then he remembered the seal, and the unbinding. He remembered his nails clawing at the jutsu’s layers, of Sasuke screaming like he was being tortured, then the rush of pain and the doors inside of him opening to let out all of the emotion and feeling that had been sealed away. All of the anger and hurt and terrible, terrible jealousy had come back to him in one crushing blow. He had felt he would die under the pressure, under all of those memories. It was too much for anyone to be expected to take back in mere seconds.

Neji moved, groaned as he felt himself slipping. It was happening again, right now. The rush of emotion and memories. He needed to get control, ground himself in the present. Distract himself from thinking of those first few minutes, of his talk with Genma, of the impossible implications of what the special jounin had told him.

Then something changed. Something pulled him from his spiraling thoughts and his eyes snapped open.

He smelled cigarettes.

Carefully, he turned his head and what he saw, stopped his breathing.

Shikamaru was there, his head down, resting on his folded arms. He was so close the tips of his hair were brushing the skin of Neji’s arm. He had been crying, tears were still fresh and clinging to the young Nara’s eyelashes. The thought of the other man crying shocked Neji. He had never seen Shikamaru cry before; he hadn’t thought Shikamaru could. He was always so stoic and perfect.

Without thinking, Neji lifted his hand and ran his fingers over that dark brown hair, that smooth, tanned skin. Even when his emotions had been locked away, he had still thought about, and even dreamed about, touching Nara Shikamaru. He could remember a time when that was all he wanted in the world.

Shikamaru stirred and Neji froze, suddenly terrified.

There was nothing he could do but watch as Shikamaru breathed in and slowly sat up. He wiped at his eyes and ran his hands over his hair. Neji stayed as still as a statue while Shikamaru contemplated the hospital sheets. He pulled at them absently with his fingers as he chewed the inside of his lip. Knowing that was something Shikamaru did when he was trying to figure something out, Neji waited, watching silently.

Finally, Shikamaru spoke.

“I hope you know how amazing you are,” he whispered. “What you did for Sasuke… I don’t have…” He stopped and took a breath. When he spoke again his voice shook. 

“Please be okay… Even if we never speak again… just please be okay…”

Neji’s heart broke. Genma had been right. As frightened as he was, Neji could not just stay silent and watch tears that were so obviously meant for him.

Moving slowly, carefully, Neji placed his palm over the Nara’s strong, trembling hands.

Shikamaru’s sharp inhale was as startling as it was satisfying. Dark eyes looked up to meet his and this time, Neji let the emotions that welled up overtake him.

“N-Neji?” Shikamaru’s voice was strained, suddenly hoarse.

“I’m okay,” Neji said softly.

Shikamaru opened his mouth to speak, but then stopped and swallowed thickly. He tried again.

“Neji I…”

Neji shook his head. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

Shikamaru’s face pinched and a soft sob escaped between his lips. “Why? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Shaking his head again, Neji squeezed Shikamaru’s hands. “Neither did you.”

For a moment, Shikamaru just looked at him with those sad, beautiful eyes, but then he took a short, clipped breath and closed them. He came in close and rested his head on Neji’s chest.

“I love you, Neji,” he murmured, “I love you, and I swear to God I only love you. No one else, ever.”

Neji lifted his hands and pulled the tie from Shikamaru’s hair. He ran his fingers through the coarse strands and closed his eyes. This was all he ever wanted.

“I love you too.”

Three Days Later

“Are you sure we should be doing this?” Kakashi asked. “You got out of the hospital like, five minutes ago.”

Genma was only half listening. He was much more interested in the taste of Kakashi’s collar bone.

“Take this off,” he murmured, pulling at the Copy Nin’s jounin vest.

Kakashi obliged, dropping it on the floor with a soft _thunk_ before he pulled off his top.

“Can I at least get you to your bed?” Kakashi asked, smiling into light-brown hair.

Genma slid his hands down past a waistline and grabbed two handfuls of the Copy Nin’s muscled ass.

“Well, I was just going to fuck you right here on the stairs, but if you’re going to be picky about it…”

“I’m not picky,” Kakashi said, “I’m definitely not, but I thought it would be more comfortable for you since you, you know, almost died a few days ago.”

Genma straightened and kissed up Kakashi’s throat. He felt hands in his hair, tugging gently, guiding him backwards towards the stairs. His clothes came off as they made their way down the hall, and when the back of his legs hit the bed, he fell backwards. The Copy Nin stripped out of his gloves and pants before climbing up and over Genma’s body. His fingers were in Genma’s hair and on his cheeks as the special jounin reacquainted himself with as much pale skin as he could.

“I missed kissing you,” Genma whispered into Kakashi’s mouth.

Kakashi groaned softly and arched when Genma slid his hands down his back.

“I missed hearing you say things like that.”

Genma sat up and wrapped Kakashi’s legs around his hips. When he reached between them, taking Kakashi’s hardness into his hand, the younger man moaned softly and moved even closer. They rocked together, tasting each other's lips, savoring every moment of their bodies touching, sliding, grinding against one another.

“It's going to get harder to leave for missions,” Kakashi said as he bit the shell of an ear. His voice was high and breathy.

Genma smiled as his slick fingers pressed up inside the Copy Nin's trembling body. Kakashi made a soft 'ah' sound and clenched around him.

“Yeah, but coming back home is going to be amazing.”

“Okay,” Kakashi panted, “there is that.” He started to writhe, riding Genma's fingers almost desperately. His hands clenched into the special jounin's shoulders.

“Ahh...” he moaned again, “Genma, I'm falling apart here. Have some mercy.”

Genma responded by doing exactly what he had been doing, only a little gentler, a little slower. He leaned in and bit a pale nipple, not hard, just barely enough to not be a kiss.

“Shit...” Kakashi made a lovely sound, somewhere between a growl and a cry of pleasure, before he tugged at Genma's hair with both hands. “Come on, I need you, right now. Please, please...”

“I love how riled up you get,” Genma murmured, the feeling of that word felt perfect in his mouth. Why hadn't he said it sooner?

He took himself in his hand and Kakashi came closer. He felt the pressure of the Copy Nin's strong hands on his shoulders as he supported himself. Heat and softness were all Genma knew as he guided Kakashi down onto him. There was no time to marvel, no time to revel in that first overwhelming sensation because Kakashi was already moving. He was pushing Genma back onto the pillows and then straightening back up. He braced his hands on Genma's legs and rolled his hips.

For a moment, Genma was stunned, frozen in awe at the display before him. Every inch of powerful muscle, every bit of that deadly killing machine writhed over him. Kakashi's incredible body glistened with sweat, his perfect stomach and perfect thighs tightened and flexed with every movement. Genma reached up and touched a perfect face, so open, so vulnerable and watching him with so much love and want, that it was almost heartbreaking.

Before he could stop himself, Genma said what he was thinking.

“You're so perfect, Kakashi...”

Something inside the Copy Nin seemed to snap. The last bit of his control, maybe, or the last of his inhibitions. Whatever it was, it propelled him forward, pressing Genma back into the pillows. His lips found the special jounin's and they shared another long kiss, far more intense and far more passionate than the ones before.

Their pace quickened. Genma brought his hips up with every powerful thrust from Kakashi's momentum, and growled his approval as the Copy Nin pulled mercilessly at his hair. The slap of flesh against flesh was loud in the small bedroom, but only punctuated the creak of the bed and the quiet keening of Kakashi's voice.

Genma nipped at Kakashi's neck and it turned frantic. Kakashi rode him hard and fast, breathing quiet obscenities across Genma's face and into his mouth. Fingers gripped pale thighs hard enough to leave bruises, and teeth bit at a lip hard enough to draw blood.

It wasn't long before Genma felt Kakashi starting to come, the choruses of “ _fuck me!_ and _harder! harder!_ had become continuous. He silenced them with another long, deep kiss, and pounded into Kakashi's body with the last of his strength. He was losing control, slipping further into that sea of pleasure, and he wanted Kakashi with him when he lost it completely. He reached down and took the Copy Nin's cock in his hand and stroked him roughly, and felt the tension rocket through Kakashi's frame almost immediately. Warmth splashed over his hand and across his chest, and when Kakashi's touch joined his, Genma let go, losing himself in an orgasm so intense, that he saw both flashes of light and dark patches fly across his vision. He spilled into Kakashi's body, shuddering and growled low in his throat as his teeth found skin.

Kakashi had collapsed on top of him and he was shaking, breathing hard against his neck. His voice was hoarse and he was whispering against his jaw.

When Genma could form coherent thoughts again, he licked his lips and tried to speak. “What was that?”

“I said,” Kakashi breathed, “you’re amazing, and hot, and I love you, and my ass hurts.”

“Really?” Genma laughed, “You said all that?”

Making some kind of noncommittal noise, Kakashi shrugged, “More or less. Well, maybe not the ass part, that’s sort of still in development.”

Genma caressed small circles over sweaty skin with his thumbs. His heartbeat was unbelievably loud in his ears, but as he lay there, breathing, listening, he started to wonder if it wasn’t just his.

“Can we sleep now? Or do you need to be somewhere?”

“Actually,” Genma said, “I have to be at the Hogake tower in about twenty minutes.

“What?” Kakashi whined and pushed himself up on his elbows, “I was totally joking about the sleeping part. I need a shower and your dick in my mouth like yesterday.”

Smiling, Genma brushed Kakashi’s hair out of his face. “It won’t take that long, I just need to give Naruto-san my report. After that we can get something to eat and then come back here. Take as many showers as you want. And I will absolutely let you put my dick in your mouth.”

“Cool,” Kakashi said, “Let’s get going then.”

They dressed and headed out. The sun was warm on their backs as they made their way through the streets. A few people noticed them and waved as they passed. Genma waved back, and Kakashi nodded in his falsely disinterested way. It seemed like the perfect day, where nothing could possibly make it any better, but then Kakashi slipped his hand into Genma’s, and the special jounin’s breath caught. For the smallest fraction of a moment, he panicked, worried about what people might think when they saw, but then he looked up into Kakashi’s face and saw the happy lines around his lover’s eyes, and he didn’t care anymore. Let them see. Let everyone see. Kakashi was his, and if anyone had a problem with it, well, let them try and tell Hatake Kakashi he couldn’t do something.

When they neared the Hogake tower, Kakashi cocked his head to the side and made another one of his noncommittal noises. 

“So, wait, I just thought of something. This is like a debrief of the debrief.”

Genma chuckled, “I never gave an official statement.”

“Meh,” Kakashi grunted, “it just sounds redundant.”

“It’s not redundant,” Genma laughed, “Besides, I want to make sure Sasuke’s curfew is lifted. We would all be dead if it wasn’t for him and I’m going to emphasize that. Hardcore.”

“Well in that case.”

Genma knocked once and then opened the doors to the Hokage’s office. Naruto was there, sitting behind his desk, slightly out of breath and cheeks rosy.

“Hey guys, how’s it going?”

Genma glanced at the open window and at the curtain that was just falling back into place. Naruto saw him looking and his grin widened.

“Naruto,” Kakashi groaned, “Please don’t tell me you’re getting laid in your office.”

Naruto lifted his hands, palms up and gave Kakashi an incredulous face. “Kakashi-san, why would you think that?”

“Because you’re you, and Sasuke’s Sasuke, and this is the perfect place to do it.”

“Ha ha,” Genma muttered under his breath, “you said ‘do it’.”

Naruto was still laughing when Neji entered the room. The Hyuga had fully recovered and was back to his impeccably groomed, icy, sarcastic self.

“Hey, Neji,” Genma said.

Neji nodded to him.

“Woa, Neji,” Kakashi said, “Is that a hickey on your neck?”

“Most likely,” Neji said coolly. “I have them all over.”

Naruto went into another fit of laughter and Genma hid a grin by occupying himself with placing a senbon between his teeth. Kakashi was still inspecting the mark that Neji seemed to be a little proud of when Iruka finally arrived.

“Okay, whatever you were talking about it’s probably ridiculous to make him laugh that hard so let’s move on.”

The former sensei moved across the room and placed a stack of files on the desk. “Okay, Neji, Genma, if you could please come here, before we start I need you to look at a few pictures. I think three of the nin Sasuke took out were Bingo—ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?”

Startled, Genma and Kakashi both reacted at once.

“What? Iruka what is it?”

Face bright red, Iruka pointed to Neji.

“NEJI IS WEARING MY PANTS!”

END


End file.
